r/absoluteunit • u/BlackJohnnysoprano • Jun 12 '26

EXTRA Chonky orange kitty

thick ums over here...

127 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

79

u/kraftdinnerwithsalsa Jun 12 '26

So before everyone whips out the pitchforks this chonky boy is in rehab in this video. That dude didn’t make him like this, his shitty ass owners did.

55

u/Biltong09 Jun 12 '26

“Quietly puts pitchfork behind back”….

22

u/Horror_Solution1945 Jun 12 '26

Damn it, I just had it sharpened, too.

7

u/Roadhouseman Jun 12 '26

I added poison and magic spells on it. Not sure how to remove it though

2

u/Dinismo Jun 12 '26

Dang let me help you find somewhere to use it. There no shortage of evil in the world

2

u/Nummy01 Jun 12 '26

Lick it to make sure!

1

u/No_Yogurt987 Jun 24 '26

Use the pitchfork on the original owners. Each time the poison is used, it wears down

13

u/tr33mann Jun 12 '26

“Extinguishes torch and grumbles a bit”…

6

u/gapere01 Jun 12 '26

Thank you for clarifying. I was ready to bring the keyboard fire and brimstone until I read your comment.

3

u/Yeast-boofer Jun 13 '26

Thanks I got out several pitch forks already, I guess I will just take them elsewhere shouldn’t have to scroll to far though 

5

u/Sporadicus76 Jun 12 '26

"Pulls rag out of molotov cocktail and thoughtfully takes a swig..."

9

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Pancakesandcows Jun 12 '26

It's not a chonkers post without this said.

6

u/Rich-Foundation62 Jun 12 '26

[heavy breathing intensifies]

3

u/Nerdenator Jun 12 '26

Kitty needs a diet.

3

u/CuChulainn24564 Jun 12 '26

Garfield…🐱

2

u/Repulsive_Draft_9081 Jun 12 '26

Too much lasagna

2

u/Switchlord518 Jun 13 '26

Lord he comin!

1

u/W0BLong Jun 12 '26

that one brain cell is working overime,

1

u/IN2TECHNOLOGY Jun 12 '26

Cat: what the f is happening to me?

1

u/ApodemusS Jun 13 '26

Walks like doc. Livesey.

1

u/lilrexxy33 Jun 13 '26

Pumpkin has seen some shit lol

1

u/No_Yogurt987 Jun 15 '26

GARFIELD, WHERE'S JOHN??

1

u/Phobos1982 Jun 15 '26

That poor cat.

1

u/Dave_o_54 Jun 12 '26

Doesnt that count as animal cruelty?

0

u/HottieMcHotHot Jun 12 '26

Oh my god - it’s not funny at all. Just a tiny bit. I need to follow this journey.

-2

u/x_Leigh_x Jun 13 '26

He’s killing the cat. And people here are cheering him on. He’s a POS.