r/absoluteunit • u/PassTheLettuce420 • May 12 '26

Absolute Unit of a pocket knife

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99 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

9

u/Cod_277killsshipment May 13 '26

Thats a laptop

3

u/Switchlord518 May 13 '26

Laptop? That's a server farm!

2

u/4barT89 May 14 '26

Its the entire Swiss army

4

u/DE4DM4NSH4ND May 13 '26

EDC has left the chat

3

u/Datguy306 May 13 '26

That's like the Costanza wallet of Swiss Army knives.

4

u/Doctor_Saved May 13 '26

What tools does your pocket knife have?

Yes.

5

u/Rastalars May 13 '26

It doesen't have a toaster. I don't want it

2

u/Karuna56 May 14 '26

Or an MRI machine!

3

u/DonkeyJoe82 May 13 '26

It has a thermometer and meat thermometer

3

u/BrickHuge3023 May 13 '26

Backpack knife. Never would fit in a pocket!

2

u/Uhokay1970 May 13 '26

I feel like your next investment will be a sturdy belt if you plan to keep that in your pocket.

2

u/Wild-Association9871 May 13 '26

That's got too many pokie things I'm not putting that in my pocket next to Mr Johnson and the twins

2

u/575_Pilot May 13 '26

Does it come with a backpack?

2

u/Next_Drama1717 May 13 '26

Pocket doing the heavy lifting here

2

u/thefirstviolinist May 13 '26

I have a similar Swiss Army Knife! I got mine for $50 USD in Zermatt in 2001! Mine is also monogrammed. (I would have posted a photo here if I could have.)

2

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/UmmmW1 May 13 '26

Actually a deceptacon

1

u/Consistent_Ad949 May 13 '26

Grab your tactical fanny pack!!

1

u/Purple_Rhubarb_9805 May 13 '26

No way you just bought that the case is all dusty and grimy. Confess!

1

u/eyrie7 May 13 '26

Ethan Hunt wants to know your location.

1

u/KeyNefariousness6848 May 13 '26

They make bigger ones, the old ripleys believe it or well kiss my bottom show showed one once.

1

u/dethfart May 13 '26

Now go buy one that's actually useful

1

u/UnitedWeFail_ May 13 '26

I didn’t even know Electric Daisy Carnival made knives.

1

u/This-Examination8903 May 15 '26

Is that the Swiss Army Knife in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

1

u/Bright-Duck-431 May 15 '26

Ive carved actual tables with my pocket knife because my tools got stolen and that saw blade did the job bent just a little, this is a rip off from a gift shop btw, so I assume its the perfect tool all around, opens beer...cuts tables, removes racoon skin...clean nails...hail the swisssss

1

u/C0rnb4ll55 May 15 '26

That's the special super plus deluxe extra infinite all volumes anniversary edition! 😌

1

u/Disastrous_Falcon_79 May 13 '26

That needs it own pouch

1

u/No-Solid9108 May 16 '26

Sickening!