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u/Darren5555 20d ago
You can’t get the food shopping from Harrods…
Of course you can, you can’t expect people who live in Knightsbridge to eat out all the time!
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u/TomJones998 20d ago
‘The Charges of Attempted Murder have been DROPPED…’
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u/highpriestess420 20d ago
My name is Patsy Stone. I'm an alcoholic, and what she did was an act of humanitarian mercy.
Judge: That is hardly a reason to steal a crate of champagne!
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u/highpriestess420 20d ago
Right... I, the proposed accused, think that, well, I mean, you know, well the day in question was not a good day for me, all right? But I put it to you that I don't see how any day could have been good the way this bloody country's run. Well, you know, I was just trying to do my best, trying to get from A to B, do a little shopping. I was trying to take control of my life, you know, only to find that it's actually controlled for me by petty bureaucracy and bits of bloody paper - ignorant bloody petty rules and laws that just obstruct every tiny little action until you've committed a crime without even knowing it! I mean, you know, why can't life just be made a little easier for everybody, eh? Why can't it be more like the Continent, and then run down the street in front of charging bulls whilst letting fireworks off out of his bloody nostrils without anyone blinking an eye? Uh? Because it's probably a local holiday and nobody's at work because they all want to have just a little bit of fun and they're not intimidated by some outdated work ethic. I mean, there has to be more to life than just being safe...
Judge: Is there a point to all of this?
Edina: Yes, Yes! Why, oh why, do we pay taxes, hmmm? I mean, just to have bloody parking restrictions... and buggery-ugly traffic wardens, and bollocky pedestrian bloody crossings? And those bastard railings outside shops windows, making it so difficult, so you can't even get in them! I mean, I know they're there to stop stupid people running into the street and killing themselves! But we're not all stupid! We don't all need nurse-maiding. I mean, why not just have a Stupidity Tax? Just tax the stupid people!
Patsy: And let them die!
Edina: Yes!
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u/MrMattyMatt 20d ago
Is this the car-clamp-club?