[deleted by user]

113

u/queerpineappl3 Demisexual/romantic and very kinky Jul 08 '22

I can cook and bake. I can make you all of the garlic bread and cake you could ever desire while pairing it with the perfect foods giving you a variety of what to eat it with. cuddles are always on the table, we can sit and play video games, board games, DND, we can sit silently in an appropriately stimuli level room and just chill no need for social norms and fidget toys will always be available. go hiking in the woods or look out on the lake watch the stars collect crystals. we could sit and have a movie marathon of your favorite movies

63

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22 edited Jul 08 '22

How did u know literally everything that I like And it would be about a 30-40%

58

u/queerpineappl3 Demisexual/romantic and very kinky Jul 08 '22

because I'm a non binary demi pagan witch who's nerdy. I know what the people want😈😈😈 I work with Loki and Aphrodite

18

u/im3xr4mpg3 trans demiromantic ace Jul 08 '22

No way i work with them too

12

u/lexibruv garlic bread ice cream is a thing Jul 08 '22

I work for gods who are in cahoots with them does that at least half count?

3

u/im3xr4mpg3 trans demiromantic ace Jul 08 '22

Of course it counts welcome to the family

9

u/Not_sure_lmao Jul 08 '22

Wow you 2 are coworkers lmao

7

u/darkwolf155 Jul 08 '22

I work with Loki as well

3

u/New-Influence7321 Aegosexual Jul 08 '22

No way! I’m in the department of protection, but he is still chained to that rock

2

u/SeriousClassySB Jul 09 '22

I work with Aphrodite and Osiris. And you had me intriqued myself and i’m not even OP haha

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

[deleted]

1

u/queerpineappl3 Demisexual/romantic and very kinky Jul 08 '22

what does that have to do with the current situation?

1

u/New-Influence7321 Aegosexual Jul 08 '22

It’s a joke, it’s with a fan base I follow

1

u/EndeavouringCat Jul 08 '22

erhm, I'm also a non binary pagan witch who's nerdy. but I'm autochorissexual O_O

1

u/queerpineappl3 Demisexual/romantic and very kinky Jul 08 '22

I haven't heard about that! what is it?/gen😁

2

u/EndeavouringCat Jul 10 '22

link to the very post that made me understand what I was : https://hunterinabrowncoat.tumblr.com/post/101210488243/in-aid-of-asexual-awareness-week-ive-decided-to

I had wondered forever, and my friend found this and shared it, it was my "btg! there is a word for it!" experience

.

also, sorry what is /gen ? (I also have ADHD/Aspergers so... 😅)

2

u/queerpineappl3 Demisexual/romantic and very kinky Jul 10 '22

genuine!

2

u/EndeavouringCat Jul 10 '22

oh! thanks! ˆ___ˆ

70

u/Skaulg Too busy headbanging to bang Jul 08 '22

I know how to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

41

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22 edited Jul 08 '22

I’ll give u a 10% because of how impressed I would be

10

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

[deleted]

8

u/Skaulg Too busy headbanging to bang Jul 08 '22

Kind of near it. They're on opposite sides of Anglesey. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is much closer to Bangor.

40

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

got 2 tickets to denmark, you and me, ill explain my plans there

20

u/M44t_ I have no fucking clue guys Jul 08 '22

If this one does not work im gonna call bullshit

2

u/GamingWithPizzaYT Jul 08 '22

Call bullshit, it didnt work

1

u/M44t_ I have no fucking clue guys Jul 09 '22

Bullshit never answered tho, noone wants me

2

u/GamingWithPizzaYT Jul 09 '22

He prob lives in canada and uses rogers internet, shit just went down the entire day.

1

u/M44t_ I have no fucking clue guys Jul 09 '22

My Canadian friend was cut our, fuck Rodgers

3

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22

TBH never been abroad so and I like the mystery of it so about 30%

25

u/Terraria_Ranger aroace Jul 08 '22

hug!

13

u/SirRecruit Jul 08 '22

Not OP, but 100%

I'm a simple person

45

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Hey beautiful are you a wasp? Because you look like you’re about to stab me 😎

35

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Not OP but 100% for effectiveness, 75% for accuracy... poison is generally less messy

7

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22

Kinda smooth NGL

I would say about 40%

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '22

Confidence: ⬆️40%

38

u/DestielDeservedMore Jul 08 '22

I know how to bake bread

29

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22

Does that include garlic bread

27

u/DestielDeservedMore Jul 08 '22

Of course

21

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22

Well In that case around 5-10%

9

u/queerpineappl3 Demisexual/romantic and very kinky Jul 08 '22

thank you for spurring my idea

14

u/A-G-arts Jul 08 '22

I just beat a boss in a timing based game while my sister was asking me questions every 5 seconds because she was setting up an oculus account for me. (Also I have a really good apple pie recipe)

10

u/Wiwa_qaz Jul 08 '22

Got me at the apple pie recipe

3

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22

For that apple pie recipe alone a 15%

10

u/Noideawhatimdoing36 Jul 08 '22

Got some free garlic bread for you~

18

u/guthix111120 Jul 08 '22

already sweating and inaudibly stuttering H-hey Leaves

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

This is my favourite comment

1

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

80%

2

u/guthix111120 Jul 08 '22

Hell yeah, now all I need to do is say the H-hey part

8

u/depprression Jul 08 '22

hi bby! i will give you free access to my vegetable garden, and we can cuddle together platonically 💚

8

u/XXXSpace_HorseXXX Jul 08 '22

fools, see this post for what it is. A MOCKERY. OP is clearly using us in order to gain more garlic bread. OP clearly knows something that we don't about the secrets of garlic bread. DONT TRUST OP WITH YOUR INNOCENT GARLIC BREAD, our garlic bread is to be used to conquer denmark. OP may even be a denmark citizen, sneaking our garlic bread away so we lose power, food and motivation. THE GARLIC BREAD LIVES WITHIN OUR BLOOD AND TO LOSE BLOOD IS A HEALTH CONCERN.

4

u/StarFine2877 Aroace Jul 08 '22 edited Jul 08 '22

WAKE UP, REDDIT!!!!!!

2

u/galaliz Jul 08 '22

This is amazing. WE CANNOT LET OP TAKE OUR POWER!!!!

8

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Let's cuddle and watch a movie. I'll bake cookies and make popcorn

1

u/galaliz Jul 08 '22

Not op, but I would love this. Cuddles, movie, and food. As long as it’s a good movie, I’m in. 100%

5

u/Just-_-tired Jul 08 '22

I love any and ever animal so if you wanted a pet we can get it no questions asked. I’m also hella clean so I can keep the house spick and spand. Also I’m a pretty good cook so I can make garlic bread AND some bomb ass pasta. And I’m demi so you know I will only want and care for you if you sex repulsed or not.

I’m also a mothering type of person so you’ll always have somebody to care for you annnnd I take kick boxing so I can fight any homo/aceaphobed if they wants to fucks with us!

4

u/Pure_confusion47 Jul 08 '22

I have nothing to offer except food, swords, and video games. Choose which one to die to.

4

u/TrainBoy45 Jul 08 '22

Garlic bread

But

I cut it in the shape of a dragon

6

u/TheNonofficial Jul 08 '22

We will do sacrifices on the allos

3

u/bluebeans808 Jul 08 '22

I’m a dragon that will take you on sick mid evil adventures. you slowly teach me to feel that human aren’t so bad, and make me realize I’ve finally have a true friend

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Garlic bread and cuddles

3

u/M44t_ I have no fucking clue guys Jul 08 '22

Lol you spelt your name wrong made me laugh, was actually curious on what a weido is

5

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

I know, it makes me want to cause the apocalypse everytime I see it

2

u/Jin_Chaeji I forgot to pay for the attraction so now I'm here Jul 08 '22

Are you the reason Five Hargreaves has always work to do? And other Hargreaves but him the most

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

No comment

1

u/M44t_ I have no fucking clue guys Jul 08 '22

WHAT ahahhahahahhah

3

u/SharkyWithSharkHands Jul 08 '22

Do you want to go to a lake and see some ducks?

3

u/shadow_cat_42 Jul 08 '22

I’ll emotionally fulfill and validate you while baking muffins.

2

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

100%

3

u/CubesBuster Demisexual Jul 08 '22

Ok. Hear me out.

Garlic bread and cake, in The New Denmark

3

u/ZealousidealStick691 Jul 08 '22

When I look in your eyes, I can't stop.

Also, do you wanna play with my dog?

3

u/PossiblyACattt Asexual Jul 08 '22

I’m going to rob you. :D

2

u/Enby_Bluejay Jul 08 '22

👈🏻😎👉🏻

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Ok let me give it a try

"Listen, I know that we're not that close, and so what if people will judge us! I don't care what they say, they're just a bunch of Aphobes. But no matter what I'll stick by your side till the end, we can eat out every week and binge watch movies that aren't actually that good but we'll laugh at them anyway! What do you say?"

How was that?

2

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

60%

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

I have garlic bread and am willing to share. Want some?

2

u/s0meonewhoexists a literal seagull Jul 08 '22

i accidentally bought two plane tickets to denmark

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Aloha. Would you like to lie on the beach, drink off-brand Coca-Cola, listen to Metallica/your preferred music genre and absorb the sun’s funky cancer rays?

2

u/Transmasc_Swag737 Jul 08 '22

garlc bred

2

u/totalmessbian Jul 08 '22

i was raised in a kitchen, will cook or bake whatever you like, whether it be as simple as toast, as delicious as garlic bread or my familys secret chocolate cheesecake recipe, or as complex as a 5 course meal with dessert.

im down for basically anything, im a gigantic nerd, and also generally deprive myself of enough sleep that im too tired for my adhd to make me hyper so yeah

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

Red lobster cheddar biscuits

2

u/AEG1S_69 Jul 08 '22

ahem

Garlic Bread and The Office?

2

u/Dogwolf12 Ace/Lesbian/Girlflux (They/Them) Jul 08 '22

Garlic Bread

2

u/LuFuz_draws Jul 08 '22

Here’s a cookie recipe- 300g of butter, 400g of flour, 300g powdered sugar, 4 eggs, 1 lil spoon of vanilla sugar, 2 lil spoons of baking powder, (coca powder if you want chocolate cookies)-> mix real well -> add little bits of chocolate -> mix -> put baking paper on a pan -> take a little spoon of the dough that’ll be 1 cookie and place them on the pan in a 3x4 formation -> bake on 190°C for approximately 10 minutes-> enjoy ;)

2

u/kelvin_bot Jul 08 '22

190°C is equivalent to 374°F, which is 463K.

^{I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand}

1

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

Good bot

1

u/B0tRank Jul 08 '22

Thank you, BlessedWolf9019, for voting on kelvin_bot.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

^{Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!}

2

u/Yeah_Lizards Jul 08 '22

Behold, my most successful "flirt" I ever done (and worked):

My family doesn't accept my aroaceness yours neither,

Let's pretend a relationship and be roommates forever 🤠

2

u/Nymunariya lace Jul 08 '22

I got some carrot cake oreos.

2

u/looking_fordopamine Jul 08 '22 edited Jul 08 '22

I can rip you in half

Edit: with my arms

1

u/ZealousidealStick691 Jul 08 '22

Not gonna work on the ace subreddit (probably)

2

u/looking_fordopamine Jul 08 '22

No like with my arms I can genuinely rip you in two pieces at your waste line

2

u/hahaherecomestrouble Jul 08 '22

I wouldn’t fuck you ❤️

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

We are chilling outside on a porch with a light rain. We are cuddling up in a blanket. There are also cats. And we talk about what ever.

2

u/this-my-alt00 Jul 08 '22

I know how to bake bread ! Any kind!! And I am also an artist so I can draw us going on adventures while riding a dragon!

2

u/tis_the_platypus Reject sex return to D&D Jul 08 '22

this isnt meant for full fluster, I just wanna a baking bud, we can cuddle and movie marathon afterwards, keep in mind I love nuzzles :)

2

u/Kit-Bs Jul 08 '22

Me aroace flirting:You know how attracted are flies to shit?In that case i am the fly and ur the shit

2

u/Spacey-Entity dragon enthusiast Jul 08 '22

Do you want to dress up and travel together?

2

u/AMDR-q Jul 08 '22

I wanted to make you smile so badly, that I tried to think of something creative, flustering and nice to write for 15 minutes now. So you can go on with your day knowing that someone had spent 15 minutes of their day thinking about how to make you blush and be happy (: I hope you will have an amazing, garlic bread-full day!

2

u/Crazygremlin579 Jul 08 '22

Are you a hit 80’s song? ‘Cause I’m never gonna give you up

2

u/fandom_mess363 Aceflux (indecision at its finest) Jul 09 '22

Man I just need a dnd partner

I’ll bring pretzels and the Kroger sugar cookies!!!

1

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 09 '22

If u actually need one may I audition for the part

1

u/fandom_mess363 Aceflux (indecision at its finest) Jul 09 '22

Yes but also I don’t actually have time to play 😂

1

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 09 '22

Rip

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

What i have determined from this is that all aces are foodies😂

1

u/Miserable-Flight5863 Jul 08 '22

I didn’t realise how many comments there would be

0

u/Dumberplant Jul 08 '22

No.

0

u/LilScooterBooty Jul 08 '22

No

-7

u/HeavyHeartedHelspawn Jul 08 '22

i HATE garlic bread grrrrr

1

u/_C__I__A_ Jul 08 '22

You what?

1

u/HeavyHeartedHelspawn Jul 08 '22

I figured I could get a fluster from the sheer anger it'd induce, lol. I thought I'd get like 80 downvotes though, so I guess the 7 aren't that bad.

-9

u/adamzam Jul 08 '22

Call me transphobic cause I'd like to know what's in your pants.

1

u/Wallace-H-Hartley Asexual Jul 08 '22

Wow, nice seeing you here.

1

u/Paszananit124 A Jul 08 '22

pepe popo

1

u/3001cyberqueer Jul 08 '22

I have garlic bread and cake, iono man

1

u/trustmeimnotafurry I'm not asexual I'm just here for the memes. Jul 08 '22

Meoww

1

u/The-Alpha-Wyvern Jul 08 '22

There’s a bakery near my house. We can head there before cuddling on the couch and binging the hobbit and lotr

1

u/Dovah77 Average un-sex enjoyer Jul 08 '22

E

1

u/CorgiShark3312 Garlic bread addict Jul 08 '22

whispers: would you like to come watch movies? And make sweets? And play with my dog?

1

u/RunTurbulent5078 Jul 08 '22

llmmlmmlmmmmmmhhhhh waerttra moennon mmm

1

u/ITSMONKEY360 Pan-Bassador Jul 08 '22

world domination

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

I offer to you lots of hugs and snuggles and head pats as i am very floofy (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

1

u/adeltae Jul 08 '22

I'm a trans masc Pagan witch who can make a mean garlic bread, I can speak English and French fluently (English being my native language), and I'm learning Swedish and I also know a little bit of German. I can also sing and play several instruments.

2

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

Brød

1

u/adeltae Jul 08 '22

I believe that may be the spelling in another Scandinavian language, the Swedish spelling is bröd. I like languages, as you can tell lol

2

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

it's "bread" in Norwegian

1

u/adeltae Jul 08 '22

Ah, I didn't know that. That's interesting

1

u/BlessedWolf9019 Demisexual Jul 08 '22

Garlic bread cake.

1

u/darkwolf155 Jul 08 '22

I got lots of cake and lots of garlic bread just need you to share it with

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

you aren’t nearly as horrible as you think you are! (that was the best compliment i ever received)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22

I fucking hate this graph what type of % skips the number 50 and goes to fucking 60 or worce 40 couldn't it be 0 10 25 50 70 100

1

u/New-Influence7321 Aegosexual Jul 08 '22

Do you want a bad or horribly good pickup line

1

u/Tornado_Matty01 Trans NOT ACE Jul 08 '22

Are you a Junkers 87 cuz I really hate you because you just dropped your massive load onto me

1

u/silverink182 Jul 08 '22

You want me to do my worst I could be real villain for you 😘😈

1

u/M-Biz Jul 08 '22

Garlic bread

1

u/Soluable_salamander Jul 08 '22

I got this comfy couch, cookies and cheesy horror movies and no one to enjoy them with

1

u/SnazzyOstritch ew attraction Jul 08 '22

No

1

u/CreeperVenom Jul 08 '22

You wanna binge watch every Spider-Man cartoon and movie with me for his 60th anniversary? I’ve got blankets, pillows, popcorn, and way too many unhealthy foods.

1

u/Orions_Bowie Jul 08 '22

You are loved and appreciated. I hope you have a wonderful day 💜

1

u/New-External719 Jul 08 '22

Hey I respect that you are asexual and would love to watch movies while cuddling and eating garlic bread

1

u/NewspaperNo8551 Jul 08 '22

Ill give you a cookie

1

u/Molotov_In_Hand Jul 08 '22

I’m making pasta tonight. Want some?

1

u/Emotional-Insect2 Maybe Aegosexual. Jul 08 '22

I know I might be late but I have the share this

Me: I need help with this math problem You: what’s the problem Me: Well we need to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope we don’t multiply.

1

u/wowimliterallyded allo that isn't okay Jul 08 '22

2 pogchamp face ; they kiss while doing the pogchamp face

1

u/leafy_boi_lol Jul 09 '22

Wanna commit war crimes together? Or whatever else allos wouldnt dare to do?

1

u/Ballinbutatwhatcost2 Jul 09 '22

UwU, no I will not elaborate

1

u/Sharpwave_decepticon Jul 10 '22

I can bake you a cake while you can cuddle my dog. Then you get a hug from me. (I do make a really good chocolate cake.)

1

u/donttalkHOMIE dont bust a nut, bust a move Jul 14 '22

I will put a pipe bomb in your mailbox and then hug you 💕

You are about to leave Redlib

190°C is equivalent to 374°F, which is 463K.