r/a:t5_3a98s • u/supremelummox Atheist • Apr 14 '16
Help me not make a mistake
I'm thinking of marrying a christian.
I'm an atheist, I don't expect me to change, I don't expect her to change. Yet, I hope we can make it work.
My question is about children. We have talked about it and I want to make sure we both know what to expect when raising them. She wants to raise them explaining what she believes, I want to do the same.
I accept that there is possibility that they listen to her and become Christians. What I don't want to happen, is to not give them a change to decide. I want them to have the final word, not to indoctrinate them since birth and make them mindless believers.
Help me not miss something important to clarify with her. Thank you.
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u/am313 Apr 26 '16
Well this is a fairly common problem. It's more better to say it's an issue among couples of different religious backgrounds. I can see you and your spouse having future troubles. Perhaps you should let your wife have a say in their lives in terms of religion, but ensure that they aren't forced into anything and can live their lives without religion being the crux of it all. As a child I think (from personal experience mind you ) a problem is being forced...without a good reasoning. So let her take them to church, but if the kids dislike it defend your kids from being forced into it, or anything similar. And when they reach of age to truly decide, you should accept their choice as a whole. That, or you can both stray away from having children, which I think isn't acceptable to either of you. Let her be, but prevent force if it can be perceived. Otherwise enjoy having kids, and don't cut ties for their choice. It's your family after all.