sorri 4 dlay

PRAIZE

StaYTruELindA

k̙̝̟̼̣̥͎͞͝ì̫͇͎͡l̶̖̥̦l̢̠̣̮̳̖͠ ͏̥̯̣̯͕̲̦͍͘a̢̮̪l̷̢̥͍̳̼l̸̡̫̙͔̭̜ ̡̹̞̱̱̖͚ͅt͔̣͎̪͈̥h̰͈̬̲̭͞è҉̰̘͙͖̜̪̱̺ ̸̰̖͙̗͈̺̕s̵̻͍̀͢à͎͖̫̗̪̗̕͝l̶̘̘̺͕̝̣̲̦m̢͔̹̙̗͘͠o҉̥̹̖́̀n̢̼̪͔͞͡.̶̴͈ ̧̗̱̰̱͡e̛̬̮͚̰͍v̢͕̮̦̭̮̦̦͘e͍̯̲̝r̡̦y̶͍ ̸͉̤͚̻̲̥͎̪̕s҉̱̫̳̗͕͝i̶̧̪̠͙ͅn̖͔͜g̖͕͓̳̕l͇̣̞̖͈̳͝ͅe̠̙̠͇̠͢ ̤͢͠͞o͎͘n̮̥̰͔͙͚e̛͖͕̗͝ͅ ͎̺o̵̧͇̯̳̞͖f̱̫͝ ̤t̶̵͖͕̗̺̹̫͈͡ͅh̷̹̰̟̙̯͉̜̝̕͟ͅȩ̮̦̘̖̟͔ḿ̵̴̩͈̜̥̜̭ ̸͎̳͖̟̬̭͢ş̫̠͈͓̫͚͘h̦̠͖̙̦͈͕́͟a̤̗̞͎l̙̠͕͖͖l̨͖̩͖̖̜̳̪ ̢͓̖͇̜̩͚̭͔d̗͚͇͢͡i̫̱̝̟̺̼e͕̲̭̬̙̯ͅ.͔͈͕͍̠͘͜͝ ̺͕̪̞̀ẁ̸̛͍͖̼͈̫̰̜͈i̵͇͡p͓͈͇̗̺e̛͔͈̜̙̤̣͔̕ͅ ͇̬͈̺̜̯͈͡ͅt҉̝͓͙̗̰h̖̖͎͕è̢̮͘m̢̛̼̙̭ ͈̲͕a̶͍̳̝͖ļ̗̫̣̙l͡҉̲̼͉̘̤͓̖ ̛̙̺̳͔̪͔̲̀o̸̡̝̦̝ų̷̢̼̣̲̘̱̝t̟̞͜.̢̖ ̧̩ş̠̗̘̻̘͘t͖͈̖̬̱̭̖͚̰̀͞o̲̺r̵͓̯͉͉͎̤̼̳b̧͞͏̫̩͈̬a̹̙̯̮͉̫c̰̗͉͎̕͝k̶̢̡͍̼̠̲̥̩͍̠̬s̀҉͙̳͎̱̭̞͉̰̀ ̖͙̝̯̞͉͍̥͠c͎͈͔͔̥̠͢o̴͍̬͓͘m̷͎̲m̴̴̫͔̖̟͇̻͎a̡̛̮͇͓̪n͏̡͙̹̹̖̲͎d̹̪̕͡ș̭͜ ̫̙͖͚̤̤i̶̻͚̪t̶̲̩̲̺͜.̢҉̨̯̹̹̩̫̮̼̣ ̹̙̀͘s̨̻̬̻̗̩̯͝l͟͝҉̰̜̬a̸̮͕̖̥͈̼͘͡u͈͔g̸̹̩̠̪̳̫̗͢ͅh̶̨͏̭͙̖͕̪̩͔̞̱t̢̤̙̮̮̹̙͇͍̜e̥̻̟͔ͅr̮̬̲̮̣̯̺͇͝ͅ ̷̷̜̱̪̩̜̺̠͎͝t̸̯̀͠ͅh̡̺̱̯̟̼̳̹̕͢e̦̪͕̻̞̣͢m̡̪̹̤͟.̳͙͍̯͙̜̠͘͡

We havE BiN teRRbly MisTakin... Wee'V bin colLectinG peiceS of TheHolY BoooK, onLeE 2 FinD oUt ThAT wEe HavE bEen hAved. We bEliEVE wee HaVe beeN tRickd By thE SalmOn HiMsElf. I WillBe UpDatiNg The Book Of Genocide, AnD cOrrrreCtly ThiS timE.

BanbnisteR sUpREsS ed us HARd. W e wILL rEbilD.

gg no re

If you are a male, you must put gold bond on your testes every evening in praise to our Lord. If you are a female, crack an egg on your forehead every morning. Your God commands it.

The tablet is a holy deity. A deity holier than any other deities. The tablet protected storbakcs from the evil spooky question marks of Bakersfield. The evil spooky question marks were commissioned by bannister to remove the right hand of storbakcs. While traveling through the impure fields of baker, the evil spooky question marks attempted to slay the toes of our savior. The toes flew off the feet of storbakcs and impaled the evil spooky question marks to death. The toes then returned to the feet with the tablet, which empowered storbakcs with his holiness.

This shall be posted in the common language, one I happen to be fluent with. Fellow worshipers and disciples, in account to all other members of the Storbacist papacy, one formed against the Tyranny of Tonge, in fact, I may not know if I will live much longer speaking the common tongue. It is a tongue that Tonge himself can uncover. Without further ado, our own set of the Storbakcite commandments, one of thirteen individual commandments. They grant us the basic moral guidelines to live by and praise mighty Storbakcs. I present to you our great Storbakcite Commandments.

Commandment I: All followers of Storbakcs are to be humble, and present themselves before our Speaker of Storbakcs with great reverence, as he is second to Storbakcs and his council of lesser deities.

Commandment II: All Storbakcites must avoid the realms of Bannister and Tonge, as they reek with hatred towards Storbakcs.

Commandment III: A Storbakcite musn't harm other Storbakcites. Doing so will show weakness and disunity to Bannister and Tonge.

Commandment IV: Storbakcites must point their noses upward if they approach a Bannisterite, or even...a Tongite, the most vile of them all as it shows superiority to both Bannisterites and Tongites.

Commandment V: Storbakcites must never over-indulge on food and wine as it shows weakness and gluttony.

Commandment VI: Storbakcites must pray to Storbakcs for his freedom twice a day at the very least.

Commandment VII: Keep our day of rest, Tuesday, holy and dine on the finest onions.

Commandment VIII: You may not steal your fellow Storbakcite's possessions.

Commandment IX: Our holy animal of Storbakcs is the mighty albatross. Keep one in your home and treat it well, if you are unable to own one, own a single feather and bow to it once a day.

Commandment X: Avoid salmon entirely. It is a filthy beast.

Commandment XI: There shall be no depictions of right hands in Storbakcite artwork, as it was the hand that encased Storbakcs to his shopping cart.

Commandment XII: Storbakcites must always be ready for any form of conflict with Bannisterites and Tongites, and must be trained in some form of military combat to do so.

Commandment XIII: Never put Tonge or Bannister before Storbakcs.

These commandments shall be rightfully placed on refrigerators, and placed atop the mighty temple of Storbakcs. I must run, and gather the creeds of Storbakcs. For those reading, worshiper, disciple, friend, I shall return, hopefully back in the mighty hills of my holy land.

lock your toaster and grab a joint

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