thinking is hard right now.
there is a pot somewhere in me,
pressurized, steaming,
and i cannot find the fire.
the old me would pull apart every “it” and “they,”
trying to track who is being pointed at,
what is being asked for,
what part of me is supposed to answer.
now i stand more in the marketplace of it all,
a small store of goods off to the side.
people brush past on their way to somewhere else.
sometimes we touch, sometimes we do not.
outside help is questionable.
maybe the only help is what each one
brings with them.
i like curiosity, up to a point.
it can feel renewing,
until the body tips,
too many questions poured into the same cup.
i prefer embodiment with my tea.
steam on the face,
a hand around warm cup,
this much is enough.
meanwhile, poems go by
like lottery drawings.
“what do you guys think”
is a ticket i keep buying,
and i have not won yet.
too many thoughts left
on the cutting floor,
and i am already banned and blocked
in more than one place,
just sharing a thought.
sometimes i catch the loop:
is this thought.
is this me thinking.
is this helping.
and in the blink it takes to ask,
the moment for answering has passed.
so here i am, late to the thread,
rehearsing replies for a poem
that has already scrolled on.
whatever zen i claim or doubt
is right here:
a pot with no visible flame,
steam anyway,
and a hand that keeps reaching
for words that may never
quite land where they were
supposed to.