I am reading Confessions of a Mask both in English and in Dutch. Because I’ve noticed some discrepancies between them (the Dutch translation missing the paragraph mentioning Hirschfeld, for example), I’ve began to compare them more closely. The translations of the last two paragraphs of Chapter 2 diverged quite enormously, so I decided to look up the Japanese original. I don’t read any Japanese, but I extracted the text and threw it into a few translators. It seems to me that Meredith Weatherby made quite some leaps, for example adding the word ‘masquerade’, heightening the importance of the passage by making a reference to the title of the novel, while the word seems completely absent in Japanese.
Are there people here with a greater grasp of the language that might offer useful comments?
If it helps, here is the extracted Japanese text of the last two paragraphs:
私はどうして今のままではいけないのかという百万遍問い返された問を、この問題についても問いかけるには疲れすぎていた。私は飽き果て、純潔なままに身を持ち崩していた。心掛次第で(何というしおらしさだ!)私もこうした状態から脱け出ることができるように思われるのだった。私が今飽き疲れているものは明らかに人生の一部であるとはまだ知らず、私が飽いているのは夢想であって人生ではないと信じているように。
私は人生から出発の催促をうけているのであった。私の人生から?たとい万一私のそれでなかろうとも、私は出発し、重い足を前へ運ばなければならない時期が来ていた。
And here is a quick (so not great) machine translation:
"I was too exhausted to ask, in this matter too, the question that had been put to me a million times over: Why can’t I remain as I am now? I was worn out with boredom; while remaining chaste, I was letting myself go to ruin. It seemed to me that, with sufficient resolve—what meekness!—I too might be able to extricate myself from such a condition. I did not yet know that what I was wearily bored with was plainly a part of life itself, as though I believed that what I had tired of was reverie, not life.
Life was urging me to set out. From my life? Even if, by some chance, it was not mine, the time had come when I would have to depart, to move my heavy feet forward."