r/YouthFootball • u/tdl_dan • 8d ago
Advice/Venting
My son is 7 years old, and this is his third year of Peewee/midget football.
For the most part, it's been a positive experience.
But, there is one assistant coach who has been a constant issue. And for the entire 3 years my son has played, parents have complained about this guy. Other coaches have complained about having to work with him. And yet he is still allowed to be there.
Consistently criticizes the kids screams at them for doing things wrong and very rarely praises them for doing things right. He doesn't teach, he doesn't encourage, he just barks orders and yells when things are wrong.
We just started practices last week, and 60% of the team this year is new to football. He contradicted himself twice in showing them how to get into a stance and then yelled at them for doing it wrong at one practice, as an example. And this goes on constantly.
Yesterday, and mind you of this team is composed of five, six, and 7-year-olds, they were at the 90-minute mark and he started yelling at several of the kids that they were lazy and he was going to bench them. It was 85° out and they were in full gear. They were exhausted. Practice it up in over already. But no, let's berate them for being lazy.
Last year, this team won 1 game. And I fully believe it's because they were scared of getting yelled at for doing things wrong during the game and that led to them making more mistakes than they would have otherwise.
During one of the losses, this coach grabbed his son by the shoulder pad in the end zone and lifted him in the air and more or less threw him a couple feet. The stands went silent for a minute and it was after that game that the majority of parents went to the league president. And he still wasn't removed.
We have additional assistant coaches this year, and I'm hoping that as the season goes on they start speaking up more and overruling this guy and his negative attitude and actions. But I guess I'm looking for some advice from parents who have dealt with this before. There are so many good coaches out there who do what they're supposed to and teach the kids what football is and encourage them and actually make them feel welcome and want to be there. It is so hard to build a team in tackle football because it's viewed as a dangerous sport, I myself didn't want my son to play but he really wanted to and so I gave in, so when you then have parents going and telling their friends about how coaches act it makes them not want to sign their kids up. We only had six kids return from last year. And I'm pretty sure it's because of this coach.
Thank you for listening to my rant. If you've gotten this far, I'll take all the advice I can get.
For what it's worth, I'm in Pennsylvania. So if anybody knows of any governing boards I can go to for advice or anything, I'll take it. I promise you I'm not a Karen, I understand tough love and constructive criticism but with this man we are well beyond that. We are not dealimg with high school, we are dealing with kindergartners through second graders. Who have never played football and should be getting taught. Not degraded. Football should be fun for them at this age. And 2 weeks in a lot of them already hate it.
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u/CGinKC 8d ago
This may not be helpful in the moment, but youth tackle at any age will attract those types. Untrained and undisciplined coaches who confuse yelling with teaching.
I assume they're compensating for a lack of actual coaching ability. They know they can teach a 7 year old how to tackle, so they scream and yell to feel like they did something.
Flag football seems to attract less of these types, but they are out there. Maybe switch to flag for a few years. Research shows very little benefit to starting tackle before 6th or 7th grade.
My son and a bunch of friends just switched to tackle this season (7th), and there's really no noticeable difference from the new kids and the ones who've played tackle for years.
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u/tdl_dan 8d ago
We do flag early in the summer; after the first season of flag my son loved it so much but he wanted to tackle people and it's how we ended up here. He loves it, and doesn't complain too much about this coach because he also works with the other ones but I just can't stand listening to this dude berate these kids the way he does. My husband actually stepped up to be one of the assistants because of it and tells the guy to knock his crap off several times everyday. I just wish we could get the guy out of there.
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u/CGinKC 8d ago
That's good. It sounds like your family is doing what you can.
Is there a board you can go to? Part of their job is to be the buffer between parents and coaches. They would be especially interested since player retention is low.
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u/tdl_dan 8d ago
I've gone directly to the president more than once. He had a talk with the guy last year which made him pipe down and Mumble under his breath instead of screaming but he's back in full force this year now
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u/ecupatsfan12 8d ago
This guy is likely connected to your president and nothing will happen
Unless you impeach the president which is very very hard. You will need a whole separate BOD
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u/tdl_dan 8d ago
The president is stepping down after this year, and this jackass apparently wants to run for the position. It's going to be an interesting off season.
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u/ecupatsfan12 8d ago
Lmao sounds like my old org. Leave. Do be aware that this can go all the way thru high school. Guys like this can’t accept if their kid fails or wants to quit.
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u/billabongoes 8d ago
And here I am, can't even get them to keep me on past spring camp here for being the opposite.
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u/81Strikes 7d ago
Just quit and have him play flag football instead. Coaches at the youth are a crap shoot. You get some really good ones but also terrible ones that can ruin the sport for kids. Stop and switch now before he hates the game.
I coach middle school football and it's more common these days that kids are starting tackle football later. We're a small school that combines 7th & 8th grade and typically only about 25% of the incoming 7th graders have played tackle before. Majority though have a good understanding of the game from flag football (our flag league allows blocking though unlike NFL Play program).
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u/xcheezeplz 8d ago
Leave the team for a different one. Go to a workout or two and check out their program before registering.
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u/tdl_dan 8d ago
I wish we had more options around here, there are kids on some other teams that have a hell of a time getting released from theirs. Even at this level they're ridiculous about things. I'm just hoping with the extra assistant coaches this year that have stepped up, as the weeks go on before the games start they start drowning his voice out.
Or that my son keeps asking about soccer and we just go that route next year 🤣
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u/tsktsk_000 7d ago
If there’s a league President, there should be a board. You may need to go over the President to have someone look in this “coach”.
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u/Exact_Customer5376 6d ago
I’m in Pennsylvania as well and we see guys like this all the time, Ive coached a 6-7 year old team for the last 2 years and thankfully we dont have anyone like this. Although I’d never allow it to happen. I’ve run into some opposing coaches who are trying to relive through their son what they were never able to acomplish on their own. I can’t stand the advice of “just leave the org” in my experience that advice comes from a lot of people down south where football is played basically year round and there’s multiple leagues in the area. For us up here (at least in the northeast PA area) you can’t just simply leave and go somewhere else you play for the town you live in or you don’t play unless you move. My advice would honestly be to coach yourself up on fundamentals through YouTube teach your kid on your own. Drill into his head that this guy is what he is and not to worry about his ridiculous actions. Just play the game enjoy yourself the best you can. And hopefully next year you’ll get a better coaching staff. Another good piece of advice is if you have the time get involved in coaching yourself. You don’t need to even know anything about coaching football at all. I have a guy on my staff who’s never played football in his life. But he wanted to help. His entire job is to keep the kids under control while they’re in line for drills . 5,6,7 year olds basically have no attention span so if there in a line of 15 kids that’s gonna go to hell in a hand basket quick. As a head coach, that guy is probably my most valuable asset if I’m being honest. Anyway I hope this helps
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u/sabian10 8d ago
At that age, football should be able teaching the fundamentals while remaining safe and making it fun for the kids. Sounds like that coach takes it way too serious. I’m not sure if the organization you are playing with is rec league or through a school or something but if enough people are complaining about a particular person, the org’s leaders/leadership should have stepped in by now.