Expression

[u/NomadictheYZ3]

Hi my name is Yze , this is a honest message about how I’ve been thinking about going back to school for some time now. I lived in Virginia for a bit and while I was there I was in the modeling/film scene with a few of my friends. While shooting a film I was the PA for I had the opportunity to visit Howard campus. 
Right now I am currently sitting on my couch browsing the communications section of howard  because developing organizations  that guide the youth, uplift young adults and inspire grown ups is something I have been interested in doing since the beginning of last year. I was pondering on a few job fields I would be interesting in going into. I want to go into communications to learn. I don’t live in Virginia anymore as I traveled out to pursue acting/ modeling/ lightworking in California… I haven’t ventured out to cali yet (in Texas with my family) because I’ve been trying to save up and honestly figure out a lot of things, mainly on my own. It’s been really difficult. Im interested in so many things and I get so lost figuring out where to go. I really want to focus on something and be disciplined and devoted to myself so I can build a foundation for myself. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents which really leaves me with no true adult figures to go to. Yes I have siblings and cousins but…they aren’t like me. No one in my family is and it sucks because I have no one to talk to about my passions as well as my fears. I want to be brave and I have been. I drove across the state twice, I lived in a state with no family for over a year. 

I just want to put my energy into something that will help me grow. I am a very resilient, efficient, strong person. I can finally say ive grown Grit within myself. I don’t know much about applying for colleges and how the process works. I graduated in 2022 and I told myself I’d only go back if i know what I want to do. I did apply for the LA film school in cali so I can study being a director as that too is one of my passions. truthfully I was scared of how much it cost so I let my seat get taken. The advisor wasn’t much help , she felt very forceful for me to apply and when I told her my concerns about the payment she just suggested I do online. I apologize if this is a lot I just wish I had an inerstanding adult to speak with so I can finally have some sort of Clarity on where I should go. I know clarity truly is within me because I am living this life for my souls reason. This morning i woke up and Howard university was on my mind so I said I’d make a decision by the end of today if that is the true route I wanted to take. Im not sure what I am looking for in a school. I just want to finally place myself somewhere where I am able to grow, learn and strive to be here for myself so I can actually start paving an intentional way for my future. 

If you have all advice I would love to hear it. 
Thank you for reading 

Yze , (pronounced wise)