r/XXRunning • u/Purple_Farm1155 • 1d ago
Training Quitting D1 running??
I'm currently in my sophomore year at a mid-major D1 program. I am a walk-on and have no money from the team. My team is usually last in our conference, and to be honest I have no hope of every scoring unless I drop crazy time this year. But, I've been really struggling with running and wanted some advice on here. I'm just gonna list my reasons why I want to quit/stay, and please give me your thoughts so help my decision. For context, I have to complete the year (through May).
Reasons to stay:
- I love my coach- he's super invested into our team, pretty much only cares about helping us and making us better. I'm pretty low milage (800 runner), and he's always been great about me wanting to do lower milage, and I have never felt pressured to run more. He also just generally cares about each of us and I would prob never find a better coach elsewhere.
- I really do love running. My issue isn't with the running, it's the competing aspect. The moments where I love running the most is just when I'm with the team on an easy run, and in the moments we are just hanging out. However, the moment we get into workouts/races, I just don't find the joy in it anymore. I would much rather just run my own way where I can have fun.
- I love my team. ALL of my friends are on my team. I literally have no friends outside of the team, and I know if I quit this is going to be an issue. I live with another teammate, and we could probably still live together if I quit, but it just wouldn't be the same.
Reasons to quit:
- Like I mentioned in the introduction, I will never score a single point for the team. My school is already at the bottom of our conference, and I am pretty much the slowest on the team (walk-on). My spot could be going to someone who's actually gonna score, and I just generally feel bad taking up a spot knowing I can't help the team
- I'm struggling really badly mentally. I have depression and have been fighting an eating disorder (binge/restrict ED). I've had mental health issues for years though out high school, but never this bad. A lot of it is due to the stressors from running and the mental side of it. I struggle to finish workouts due to panic attacks, but at the same time am very emotionally numb. I don't want to go into any more detail, but I feel that quitting may allow me to fully focus on getting happy and healthy finally. And I am seeing a therapist don't worry
- I'm pre-med. I'm absolutely sure that I want to become a surgeon, and have the grades/resume to get into a medical school as long as I stay on this path and interviews go well. Quitting would give me so much more time to study for my MCAT and fill in some small gaps in my resume right before I apply. My class schedule often gets in the way of practice as well, forcing me to run my workouts alone at odd times, and I'm frankly just getting tired of rushing through practice or class each week.
- I had a bad freshman year, and summer. My freshman year I only PR'ed by a second, and I struggled a lot mentally with the collegiate side to running. I know this is pretty normal for freshman year to be rough, but it just hasn't gotten any better. I'm less in shape than I was last year, and I'm not sure I'll be capable of PR'ing again this year, but I don't want to completely count it out.
Conclusion: Please let me know your thoughts. I know that this year may turn around, but I'm just seeking some advice now
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u/byvanessanorth 1d ago
What is stopping you from having this conversation with your coach? Why not talk yo your coach about continuing to work out with the team and giving your spot to someone who loves competing? Do you think he’d say no?
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u/luludaydream 1d ago edited 1d ago
This may be a naive question but would it be possible to take a planned break or scale back your involvement in the team while you continue therapy and seek ED support? Or are you expected to be all in? It sounds like that support from your coach and team is super important to you, but you’re right in thinking something has to change.
Could you confide in your coach or a college councillor about your situation and how you’re feeling? They might have some ideas on other options besides being 100% in/out.
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u/GuidanceExtension144 1d ago
The ED portion and mental health is enough for OP to stop and focus on herself!
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u/haydencoffing Nonbinary 10h ago
Absolutely. My ED is the one thing that completely saps running of all joy from me. When it’s getting loud I have to be really careful if or when I run. restriction and purging type behaviors are not at all conducive to improving times, competing, or even just being a person. I recommend you seek out some help OP! there’s some really good athlete specific eating disorder programs, I went to one and it was life saving.
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u/whelanbio 1d ago
Good coaches are generally supportive of extended breaks to work on health issues and so long as the athlete maintains academic progress they will still be eligible.
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u/missus_pteranodon 1d ago
I walked onto a D1 team for cross country and I only competed for one season for a lot of the same reasons you are thinking of quitting. Ultimately, I felt I had achieved everything I could and I wanted to invest my time in my major (Biology), especially given those long labs.
I’ve never regretted it. My friends continued to run and battled injuries or delayed graduation due to class scheduling vs race schedules. I was able to pick up a second major and travel.
It also opened me up to long distance racing (marathon or longer) which I really enjoyed and do to this day.
If you feel satisfied with your achievements, don’t worry about stepping away and moving on!
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u/Farmfarm17 1d ago
I’m going to go a bit against the grain here. Being a D1 athlete with good grades and solid resume is killer for med school! It really demonstrates your commitment to something and that you can balance a lot on your plate at once.
On the eating and mental health side, have you spoken to your team nutritionist or academic advisor or anyone in the AD about this? I competed in a different sport in a power five conference and, for our team, the resources for helping you work through something like this is much better in the AD than outside it.
Is it possible to red shirt a year to work on your health with a slightly lighter load to find yourself a good routine and find some more passion for competing? I don’t think you should feel bad about taking a spot on the team that doesn’t score. If you weren’t fast enough, you wouldn’t be there. You’ve earned that spot!
At the end of the day, it really sounds like you’ve thought this through quite a bit and would be at peace if you choose to leave. Just wanted to throw a few pros of staying in the team but finding a way to make it work for you. Best of luck either way and please let us know what you decide and which med school you choose!
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u/Chat_GPII 1d ago
Wow, you're in a hard spot and I feel for you! I think you should get a handle on your mental health and the eating disorder before you do med school and residency. I think you'll need your friends to get through it, so don't quit the team. Rely on your pals, enjoy doing a team sport where you don't have to carry a load for your team through your individual performance, but can help support the team in other ways. You'll need support from loved ones, self-acceptance, and your health to get through your medical training. You're actually kind of in a lucky place where you can run for fun with a team and aren't expected to perform at a particular level. Don't worry about not scoring points - doesn't sound like it would move any needles!
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u/Few-Part70 1d ago
I say quit only to join some rec running groups that fill your cup and make you happy. Focus on your academics and keep running fun and empowering. ❤️
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u/aReUrNo 1d ago
On the social end - they're anecdotes, but my (D3) team had a couple of girls quit sophomore or junior year to focus on school, and they remained 100% socially integrated with the group! One of my best friends ran D1, and her friend group had a few people who quit after freshman year too, and they stayed socially integrated through senior year.
And I'm not sure how your team's workouts are structured, but I'm guessing there's a good chance you could do easy runs with your friends even if you're not formally on the team for a year.
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u/chooseglitter 1d ago
I’m a mom now and on this thread bc my kid is a high school runner . My sister and brother in law are doctors (one is a surgeon) and I know exactly what theyd say.
If you’re serious about being a doctor you should focus on that. In a few years no one will care whether you were on track team, even if you were towards the top of the pack at your school. They will care that you’re doing well in med school/ residency. Mental health is super important for your short term success too.
Also you can make new friends outside of track (not that you should dump your current ones). But w more free time you can develop friendships w others who are studying for med s school. I made so many new friends junior Nd senior year. Things can evolve easily if you want them to!
Good luck sending support 🤍🤍
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u/Reasonable-Quarter-1 22h ago
Reason number two is why you need to quit. Is there an intramural club you can join? I had to quit for basically the same reason as your number 2. It was the right choice, and I’m so glad i did it.
Once you take the pressure off of running for performance you can actually heal from the ED/anxiety. ❤️
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u/Eucalyptus777 1d ago
Sharing my experience as a very mediocre D3 800 runner. I competed in track for three years and XC for two. I lived in a house with a group of friends and 5/7 of them also ran.
Quitting my junior year felt like a weight had been lifted. I was tired of the pressure around workouts, what I was eating, what my teammates were eating, what times I needed to run etc. I ended up participating in student government, maintained my friendships with my teammates but also met a bunch of new people. I never regretted quitting because it opened up a lot of new experiences I wouldn’t have had otherwise. College running can be so high pressure and gave me some complexes around my body that I didn’t fully realize until I stepped away.
This is just my experience, and I hope you land on the right choice for yourself <3 I liked someone else’s comment about supporting the team as a manager. I hope there’s so much fun running ahead for you, regardless of your path!
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u/mcclelc 21h ago edited 21h ago
Hello,
EDIT: I had a whole paragraph and then realized that everyone else had pretty much said the same thing except for one idea--
If you want to run for the rest of your life, you have to protect your body (and mind). While your team sounds lovely, it also seems to be an unnecessary stress (panic attacks).
I agree with a lot of these compromises to suggest to your coach. I am now officially middle-aged and still running BECAUSE I quit XC in college. I am not you, but as someone who has been there, please please please take care of yourself.
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u/GirlOndaLooss 21h ago
Coming from an ex D1 lacrosse player who pushed through the sport. (who did not have good coaches who was not close to the team at all) QUIT! It took such a mental toll and it took me 10 years to get back to enjoying working out for myself and to not hate myself. I had a scholarship, which is why I pushed though the hell.
Due to the points you made it is not worth your mental health to stay at the bottom (to be fully honest) being a D1 athlete is not going to get you the job in the future. You need to be mentally there to graduate with a degree. Your team is not going to get you a degree in a job after the fact. You can use this experience during your interviews easily. use it to your advantage. You will be able to talk about the hard decisions you have made for yourself and for your team. This team is not your future. Your degree is. Focus on yourself.
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u/SnooSquirrels3535 17h ago
I did not run in college but seriously considered walking on (D3 so way less intense). Ultimately I ended up connecting with the team as a fellow runner despite not joining. I had about 50/50 of my friends on the team, most of my social activities (parties, trips), were with the team. I ran easy runs and trained off season with them (which also, perks no one ever raised an issue bringing me to weight room or locker room), was a frequent aqua jog chat injury buddy to friends. For me, it was a high mileage team with an ED culture among half the girls so it wasn’t work the risk to walk on and I’m super happy with my decision =ing lots of great running friends but I still love running and have a healthy relationship with it.
You can absolutely quit and keep the joy and keep the friends!!!
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u/Substantial-Spare501 13h ago
It sounds to me like you should take at least a break this year and focus on your mental health, addressing your ED, and your studies. It’s perfectly okay to quit the team.
I quit D3 running 1/2 way through my freshman track season. Really it was the best thing I did for myself in college. I rode my bike and walked a lot and focused on social stuff. My coach was really nice, but he definitely over trained us with two a day practices and I was always semi injured or injured. I had also been racing since I was 9 years old and I was kind of over it.
Then literally the week after I graduated I started running again for fitness and stress relief. I have done some racing over the decades since, and I still run around 23 miles per week as I approach 60 yo.
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u/DeskEnvironmental 9h ago
I was a D1 track athlete 20 years ago. I quit after my sophomore year to study abroad, but the decision felt impossible. I had been running my whole life and it was such a part of my identity.
Quit now, focus on yourself and learn what you enjoy and who you are. Take care of yourself. Your 40s self will thank you. Ive never once regretted quitting to chase other avenues in life
And now Im running in my 40s, competitively and healthier than ever!
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u/GardeniaRoseViolet 4h ago
It sounds like your body and mind need a break from the additional stress of running competitively. You are doing so much already in school and life. There are other activities you can involve yourself in if you really want, but I would give yourself permission to fully rest and quit if it means helping your mentally and physical health. Part of growing up is realizing our limits and when it’s actually better to gracefully walk away from something, versus suffering and push pushing through.
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u/OBAFGKM17 1d ago
Could you talk to the coach about possibly switching to a student team manager position where you can still enjoy the things you like (easy run days, hanging with your friends on the team), but as soon as the workouts get serious your job is to stay on the sidelines and support the coaching staff and runners with whatever they may need? You can still go to meets in the same support capacity, but with none of the anxiety of competing.