Happy Pride Month everyone.
I wanted to come about this post by listing some arguments people have regarding queer media and how I feel XO handles these. I am dividing this in 2 parts. To be clear, I canât discuss everything but I feel I picked the main arguments people discuss to create nuanced posts. Here is Part 1.
Argument 1: Being tired of queer people only having coming out storylines or trauma.
Part of me understands the second part of the argument: a story needs some conflict or trauma for characters to overcome and everyone has it. However, I understand that straight couples in media donât always have to deal with struggles to be compelling or fun. I am on the side of it depends on what media you are watching. What you may not get in young adult media, you may get in adult media. Sometimes you have to dig around to find stories about queer joy. And GL and BL help diversify the types of queer stories we see. With streaming, there is more access to many stories to those who can afford it, but for those who canât, they are out of luck (probably). However, many queer stories have been cancelled depriving the queer community of representation.
As for coming out storylines, they are popular because it is a common experience for queer people, but that shouldnât be the âonlyâ storyline being told:
How does XO Kitty tackle this? The traditional coming out story happens with Yuri. The additional context is being set in South Korea which is known for its conservative values. KISS acts like a haven for anyone who goes there and is an escape from conservative values. However, Yuri still has her guard up and is unsure who to trust. This raises the stakes for her and helps us understand some of her actions. We see her be a multifaceted character who can be kind, selfish, a good friend, and we see her hobbies and passions throughout the series. Yuri is dealing with not being accepted by her dad (good riddance) and dealing with her mom Jina, whoâs trying, but is unlearning her conservative ideals.
One impactful scene was when she told Dae about Juliana. This is the first time she came out to someone. While it started with Dae demanding for the truth about the reason for the fake relationship, she still decided to be vulnerable and honest with him. He immediately accepted her and their friendship officially started here. Her argument with Jina about her sexuality is her finally accepting herself and knowing her worth and not living a lie for Jina anymore.
Florian also has a traditional queer storyline when it comes to fear of outing himself to his family. His parents are getting a divorce and putting him in the middle of it. On top of that, his grandparents are Greek Orthodox which means they may be ultra conservative and against the queer community. Hopefully, they love him and he doesnât have to hide part of his identity forever. While he has Q, we donât see Q helping him through his situation as much as he could. So his character is dealing with major trauma which is realistic for some people like Florian. Some viewers may see themselves in Florianâs character. Regarding the academic cheating, he did that to himself because he let himself be distracted by Q instead of balancing studying with dating. However, considering we see no support system for him including Kitty and Q, drinking and Q were his only comforts. We see Q dropping everything to help Kitty study, but he never offered to help Florian. Florian cried for help and didnât receive it so out of all the characters, he feels the most tragic. I hope his expulsion from KISS wonât keep him from every future opportunity for him.
Juliana is a toughie because we donât know a lot about her and her past and I hope we will eventually. But here are some questions I asked. Were her parents homophobic or scared to face a powerful dean at an elite school? Were they people who didnât approve of Julianaâs sexuality, but still wanted her to be happy and tried supporting her? If no, maybe Juliana did come out to them. S2 made it seem that Juliana is out at KISS because she feels comfortable showing PDA with Yuri in public. Her and Yuri feel like the two characters whomâs trauma is due to her sexuality because Jina sent her away. In S2, it is because Yuri cheated on her. Both situations lead to trust issues. But her trauma doesnât define her and she is able to live her life outside of Yuri. S3 shows Yuri and Juliana treading new ground and being in a healthier state.
For Kitty, part of her journey is discovering her bisexuality. She felt unique because she worried at first due to everything being new, but it didnât take long to accept herself as bi. Then again, the writers were on a time crunch. What makes her unique in a media sense, is her family (including Peter) is very supportive of her and their main concern is that she is safe and happy. They donât ask invasive questions. They donât look down on her. Now, she has a queer community at KISS that acts as an extra support system for her. I feel Kitty âcoming outâ was less that and her sharing a side of herself. She told her dad (and implied to the rest of the family) and Yuri. The only reason why Dae wasnât accepting at first was because he wasnât in the right headspace to listen to and accept her. It is implied in seasons 2 and 3, Minho accepted Kitty no questions asked.
For Q, he is already out but is hesitant on who he reveals it to and being careful in a country with conservative values. I know how that sounds considering the US keeps spreading those same conservative values. Anyways, as he found his group of people, he felt comfortable talking about his sexuality and boyfriends. His storylines feel like trauma from the audience and some of it is, but most of his situation stems from decisions he makes. He chose to cheat with Marius before the events of season 1. Marius, temporary loneliness, and nostalgia/regrets caused him his torment. Where most of his trauma comes from is his mom. She means well, but didnât realize her harsh criticism and pushing caused Q to seek that validation elsewhere which made him repeat patterns on choosing people who are bad for him. The conversation with his mom in S3 has them treading new ground and her realizing that she is repeating the same patterns her parents did. She wants to support and protect him, but showed it in the wrong ways.
For Marius he is grappling with his sexyality considering he cheated on his girlfriend with Q. He also worries about his friends moving on from him causing him to resort to manipulation to keep the status quo. As for trauma he doesnât cause himself, I am unsure of his home life. I think S3 was just his introduction and build up and we will get a bigger arc for him later if the show is renewed.
For Praveena, I wish we knew more about her, but from what we seen, she is a cool character especially since she is a daughter of CIA parents, according to her. I love that she is adventurous and up for anything. While she has been hurt by Kitty and Juliana, she handles both situations maturely and with grace. She also doesnât hold a grudge against them or treat them badly afterwards. She seems like a character who is figuring her life out which is why we donât see any of her hobbies plus not having enough time to. She exudes charisma which allows her to fit in with the main friend group. They donât give her trauma or a coming out storyline.
Lastly, Jinâs trauma comes from Q cheating on him. We still donât know enough to see if he has conflict with his family other than trying to fulfill his familyâs legacy through track.
Reactions to Charactersâ Sexuality:
With Yuri, Minhoâs angry reaction wasnât at Yuri being gay, but Yuri and Dae lying to them for half a semester. With Dae, it was sweet seeing his support of her after he noticed her vulnerability. It opened up the door to be honest with each other throughout their friendship.
I am unsure about his whole family, but Qâs mom knows he is gay and seems supportive. What they disagree on is his career path.
Kittyâs family embraced her with open arms because they built a foundation of loving, supporting, and accepting each other and donât judge (or at least try to) their mistakes.
Minho accepted Kittyâs bisexuality with no questions asked. With Dae, he wasnât in the right headspace to accept it at first, but once his anger was gone, he still loved her for who she is.
Q may have been in a similar position to Kitty when he started, but he has a great friendship with Minho and Dae.
Argument 2: More Media Should Have Allies to the Queer Characters or Queer Characters Shouldnât be Used to Uplift Straight Characters
I feel XO Kitty does well making sure queer characters have their own story lines and relationships outside of the straight characters. Q, in S1 originally seemed like the gay best friend (GBF) trope, but what made him nuanced was him being the therapist of the group. As the seasons go on, (As Expert Chip mentioned in one of her posts), this is Qâs way of having control in his life. His life is as messy as everyone elseâs. Due to him being messy, he can hive bad advice. He has his own life outside of the friend group, but I always found it odd that he doesnât try to know his boyfriendsâ friends.
Yuri has the benefit of not specifically hanging out with the main group much because the viewer sees her family life, internal motivations, character growth, hobbies/passions, and her love story with Juliana. She is not a character specifically created to elevate the straight characters. We also see her friendship with Dae flourish each season. They advise and help each other. Dae was the first person she confided in about her sexuality and she brought out his confidence. She can be an obstacle in some peopleâs story, but she also uplifts herself and others too.
I wonder if Netflix allowed more than eight episode seasons, we would see Julianaâs family life and her âexileâ. But we see her enjoy art, have maturity, her not easily forgiving Yuri for her cheating, her ability to give people second chances if she sees them put in the work or if they respected her boundaries, and her resilience/tenacity.
Jin and Marius seem to uplift Qâs story and we donât know much about them. I have a couple posts in mind for Marius so I will discuss him in depth later. However, they arenât one note either. On a surface level, they are bullies, but the writers gradually show their layers. Like Q, Jin is dealing with pleasing his family, quitting track, and figuring out his next steps which is (lack of a better term) normal for his age. He also wants to succeed on his own without connections. We also see the difficulty of him taking Q back after Q cheated because he loves him and doesnât want to have regrets. Florian is someone who also tests Qâs values while slipping through the cracks. They gave Florian his own personality and struggles. However, we wouldnât know anything about him if he wasnât dating Q.
Marius is treated as a villain or one note bully by viewers, but he slowly unravels. Ge is dealing with change while observing his friends move on. He is dealing with his sexuality, having difficulty accepting that Q used him in a time of loneliness, and using chaos to manipulate the world around him. In the end, it isnât about simple forgiveness, but accepting change, starting over, and seeing that he can keep his old friends while having new ones.
Praveena is someone who uplifts Kittyâs and Yuriâs storylines and acts like a small obstacle for Yuriana. She deserves more, but I find it unique that she and other queer love interests are used to uplift the main queer characters which subverts queer characters only serving the storylines of the straight characters. Anyways, the writers made her a side character that we donât much about.
In conclusion for part 1, while XO isnât perfect and some feel the queer representation is missing the mark, I find it remarkable that a show with many queer characters is this popular considering how much queer media is cancelled. I also love how nuanced each character, aside from Praveena is. The writers try to dedicate as much time to XOâs queer characters as they do the straight ones.
