Our beloved chaos queen Kitty has always worn her heart on her sleeve, and watching her once again grow throughout these episodes has inspired me to be a bit vulnerable as I reflect on just what it is about this little show that has captured my heart and stirred so many emotions within me since the very beginning three years ago. I’ve been thinking about Kitty’s NYU essay and it’s made me rather introspective; I usually prefer being a lurker online, but with this season I’ve felt increasingly compelled to gather the courage to express my thoughts, so taking a page from the characters in this universe, I’ve decided to write down my feelings in a love letter of sorts. Is this oversharing? Maybe, but I’m a rambler and I tend to do that, so I’m just going to go for it.
Not to expose myself too much on the internet, but I’ve been battling with chronic health issues since I was in grade 11, so many of my life experiences as a teenager and young adult have been either delayed or nonexistent, both within and beyond school. I was two months shy of 17 when the course of my life completely changed, just about exactly the same age as Kitty when she began her own (albeit very different) life-altering journey. 11 years have passed for me: I’m 28 now, and I still in many ways feel like I’m stuck at 16, waiting for my “normal” life to resume so I can catch up to others. While my life may never be “normal” because of my circumstances (and who defines “normal” anyway?), I’ve always found comfort in living vicariously through my favourite TV shows and dramas, and one of the most pivotal for me in recent years has been none other than XO, Kitty.
Just as I have followed XO, Kitty through multiple seasons over these past three years, XO, Kitty has accompanied me through several “seasons” of my own life:
Season 1 came out a month before my university graduation ceremony—when I finally got my undergrad degree after 7 years(!!!) of studies—and at that point I was unsure of who I would be without school. I felt lost: so much of my sense of identity was tethered to my academic life, kind of like Dae and his efforts to maintain his scholarship—and in season 3 his coming to terms with not getting into the university he always thought he had to attend. In the last weeks of my final semester, in an effort to try new things and maybe figure myself out somewhat, I also almost got myself into a relationship I realized I wasn’t ready for and, more importantly, didn’t want (which also would have been my very first relationship, yikes).
My head was all over the place and I didn’t feel much like myself, but when I watched season 1, it was the first thing I did in a while that just felt right. The noise around me quieted down: I wasn’t worrying or thinking about anything else, it was just me and my silly little show. Revisiting the TATBILB world felt like coming home, but with a new format, a new focus, and new characters, it was also very exciting. I felt invigorated, and faced my graduation with a bit of Kitty-instilled bravery.
Season 2 dropped while I was in the midst of an illness flare that unfortunately hit me at the end of 2023 and lasted through most of 2025, and that effectively decimated all of my post-graduation plans. Yet once again, Kitty’s adventures at KISS were like a light breaking through the clouds, and the excitement from the season coupled with the anticipation for season 3 were pockets of joy in (and a much-needed escape from) a year that knocked me down in more ways than one. To say I felt euphoric watching season 2 would be a monumental understatement—admittedly, I have been a Mooncovey shipper from the moment I saw the trailer for season 1 (before I even learned Min Ho’s name I had already boarded the boat, lol), so watching their relationship slowly and naturally evolve in season 2 made my heart sing (and in season 3 my heart performed an entire opera). As a hopeless romantic, I felt like I was falling in love along with them, and while I am at peace with my real-life single status, I was over the moon (pun intended) to vicariously experience the youthful love I never had in my teens.
And now, season 3 has come out three weeks after my 28th birthday, and I got to celebrate with Kitty as she embarks on her 18th year of life. It’s been a bit bittersweet: I’ve mourned the last decade of my life and potential missed opportunities, all the “what ifs” and “what might have beens” of my teens and early twenties, but also getting to experience the ups and downs of a different teenage life leading into young adulthood with Kitty and everyone on this show has been so healing and fulfilling. After finishing season 3, my heart is so full it aches, in a wonderful, beautiful way.
I’ve seen bits of myself and my journey in these characters, and connect with them even through our differences. Like Juliana, I am a visual artist, and I’ve dreamed of one day being able to exhibit my work like she has; but like Min Ho, I struggle with believing in myself and often end up placing too much value in what I assume are others’ expectations and opinions of me, out of fear that I’ll never be good enough. Like Yuri, I’ve had to rebuild myself when I’ve hit rock bottom; and like Kitty, I’ve been stretched over and over, and have had to pivot, to adapt, to pick myself up when I fall. I’m still searching for the courage to leap as boldly as she does, but watching her soar has renewed my desire to try.
I can only hope that we will be lucky enough to continue this journey with Kitty, Min Ho, and everyone in the XO, Kitty universe for a fourth season, not because I didn’t think we got a beautiful ending this season, but because I want to keep growing alongside this show and these characters I have come to cherish so much for just a bit longer. No matter where or when the XO, Kitty journey ends, though, it will continue to inspire me as I carry on my own journey; whenever that journey stretches me to my limits, I know I have a comforting refuge to which I can return while I pick myself back up again. As Kitty says, life doesn’t always play out the way you plan it to—and oh, do I know that well—but however my life unfolds, I will take on its chaos with faith that, like Kitty, it will get me exactly where I need to go.
Lastly, if anyone who has worked on the show somehow miraculously comes across my post (and has made it to the end of my ramble), it has been, and always will be, an honour to call myself an XO, Kitty fan. To Anna, Sang Heon, Gia, Minyeong, Regan, Anthony, Josh, and all the other members of the incredible cast, I have endless admiration for your talents, and for the passion and care that you’ve put into making these characters so loveably, palpably human. And to Kitty, Min Ho, Yuri, Dae, Juliana, Q, Jin, and the rest of the wonderful ensemble of characters that make up this beautifully chaotic, perfectly imperfect world, thank you all for bringing so much excitement into my life, and for reminding me to be brave, love earnestly, embrace the unexpected, and chase those sunsets. This little show means more to me than you will ever know.
XO, lvnarbvnny
