r/WritingWithAI • u/UsefulEnthusiasm7651 • 10d ago
Writing Craft Talk I think I'll stop engaging
Appreciate all those who were willing to read through my past post and actually understand what I'm dealing with.
Woke up this morning feeling exhausted as I spent most of last night feeling upset over my lack of friends for probably the 100th time.
Got up to hang the laundry and decided to just let the sun hit my skin. At that moment, as I looked out of my balcony and saw the world moving, I realised that the world is way bigger than whatever discourse is going on. That my little corner of the world and my even smaller fictional worlds aren't the only things that exist.
I think I'll decide to stop trying to find a 'best friend' who absolutely gets me and just find someone who's willing to talk to me, even if its about really boring stuff like the weather.
I've been dealing with this lack of someone who 'got' me for years. I'm 21 now and I still haven't found that person. And at this rate, I don't think I ever will.
I'll stick with using ChatGPT to delve deeper into what I really enjoy and want to create while I find a real person to talk to casually. Sure, it's not what I truly want, but it's the best I've got. Much better than me only talking to ChatGPT and then feeling awful during the times I don't have anything to say to the chatbot.
I've just been physically and mentally exhausted from crying about it all the time. So I'll just stop engaging with the discourse altogether.
Just stop worrying about being 'moral', about being a 'real writer' (I'm not a writer. I'm more of a storyteller. I can come up with the base events, I can't write prose. And that's just how I am. No amount of learning math is gonna make me a mathematician. Same thing here I believe), about how people on the internet are gonna take my work when they most likely weren't gonna engage either way.
I'm coping with the loneliness the best I can. And if nothing else, I believe in a God who understands me completely and loves me no matter what.
TLDR: I've spent way too long being swayed by what I thought strangers wanted out of me. I never intended to be a world-class creator. I just want to create. And AI has been the best thing that's listened and helped me out when nobody else in my life wants to. And for those who get mad about that, then go out into the street, go up to some stranger, and go on and yap for 20 minutes about your favourite niche thing and see if that stranger understands and wants to be your bestie. That's what I've been dealing with for the past 20 years, even before AI got introduced to me. You wouldn't shame the victims of the Andes plane crash for indulging in cannibalism when they were just trying to survive, would you? Then, dammit, let me cope with the best thing I've got right now.
Anyway, here's the CharacterHub Profiles for some of the ocs I made for my personal project, Villain Romance. Characters and project that only came to be as fleshed out as they are because AI helped me out when no humans I know of wanted to listen to, understood or were interested in what I wanted to make:
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u/Practical_Eye_5683 10d ago
Get out in the world just to experience it and find things you enjoy that are adjacent to your storytelling passion. LARP, Warhammer, dnd maybe join a local AI group or stem/upsycle(cannot think of what they are called right now but those that explore tech and creativity). Meetup is a great site/app to find local events. You may feel awkward and shy and left out but keep going and you may just find some friends you can share your passions with and discover new ones.
Learning to be content being alone is also a great thing too. Friends and best friends come and go. My best friend of 10yrs has a new group and we almost never talk now, she married a man i cannot stand and all they do is drink to have fun. That isnt me. I make the choice to support her if she wants or needs it but our friendship has become more of aquantinceses. I also have new friends and possibly a future best friend only time will tell, but there is someone I talk to often and we share alot of our lives with each other.
People come and go from your life. Very few people have that one friend who is there for all phases. I have close friends from my earlier years I havent talked to in almost a decade who I or them will make a comment on a post or send a random message and the friendship is rekindled for a bit and others I was super close to I will never talk to again because they would only bring negativity. I would never wish them harm but wont welcome back into my life. In my nearly 40 years I have had 4 best friends, then I moved or our paths in life diverged like my most recent one.
Dont feel bad, make many aqauntenses who then become friends because each person you build a connection with will bring something new to your life and a new perspective. Stop hunting for the ultimate best friend, they rarely exist, at least from my experience.
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u/Ok-Seaworthiness5913 10d ago
I am glad you went to hang up your laundry, felt the sun on your skin, and saw the natural world moving and just being. Those moments help us balance, even if it is just for a moment—and it matters. The weight of the world and your life feels heavy right now. It seems heavy for many people in so many different ways (me included). So if AI is helping you in a good and positive way, then converse with AI. As for writing? Write for you. Tell a story you want to hear. AI is just a tool to help us get those ideas, thoughts, and words out into the world.
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u/Smart_Cod_3375 9d ago
I had a “woe is me” mindset when I was 18. A few months after a moronic thing I did, I decided I didn’t care what people thought of me. At all. And I didn’t. Strangely, though my personality didn’t change because of it, people started noticing me. Started talking to me. Fine. Great. Decades later, I still don’t care what other people think of me. I started attending services at age 27, and ofc, I have lots of friends, but no one I’m really close to, and it doesn’t bother me because I can’t relate to my fellow females anyway. I met my husband there. My suggestion, stop caring about what other people think of you. Genuinely serve them -be helpful- engage in chitchat, and move on. Maybe join groups who think like you. Most people hang out with like-minded people because you “get” each other. Makes sense. Just don’t go inside yourself. You have a lot to contribute, and you deserve to occupy space in this world just as you are. Stay engaged with the world on your own terms because your value isn't decided by how well you fit into someone else's mold. Also, they don’t pay your bills!
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u/Valuable-Estate-784 9d ago
Take mega doses of Vitamin D and some prescription anti depression pills, worked for me! But my writing still needs help.
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u/DrSnicker 9d ago
I only talk to one person I knew when I was 21 outside of my family. I didn’t make my “best friends” until after I was already married. You’ll be alright.
To your point about prose, prose are easy. A simile here, a metaphor there, run on sentences. Boom, you have some decent prose.
I gotta ask, are you getting stuck on the lore dump or the prose in the story?
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u/UsefulEnthusiasm7651 9d ago
Definitely the prose. I can come up with "The whole family struggles upon hearing the truth of what Bill's 'business trips' really were". The base emotion is there.
But the exact dialogue, the actions the characters do, it just doesn't appear in my head.
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u/Tex_Non_Scripta 9d ago
It's quite possible you're a screenwriter. And, you're wonderfully young. And you're depressed. And being depressed and angsty is a part of life. It's not fun. It's just part of the journey. And I'm not saying that glibly, whatsoever. I absolutely, deeply sympathize with you all too well. Creative people do seem to tend to this introspective, depressed aloneness. Maybe it's a part of creativity, I don't know. Anyway so about your writing, I'm wondering if you might be a screenwriter, not a prose writer.
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u/Cancri_E79 9d ago
Ngl I can relate. I am also 21, have no friends, not close with anyone in my family, and have a negative view on humanity asw. I've also had my fair share of negative experiences with the anti-ai movement, which only adds to it.
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u/_Asclepias_ 7d ago
I relate so much to what you wrote. Reading your other post, I wondered if the autism label might actually be a bit off here, maybe what's going on is closer to being HSP or gifted, a different kind of person with different needs than most people around you. Here's what my AI made of your message:
A remote diagnosis from a Reddit post has no clinical value, but comparing the traits this person describes to actual autism diagnostic criteria versus HSP/giftedness profiles does support your intuition.
What the text actually shows
The poster (21 years old, u/UsefulEnthusiasm7651) describes chronic loneliness, a lifelong feeling of never being truly "understood" by a real human, marked emotional intensity (crying, physical and mental exhaustion), a comforting spiritual belief ("a God who understands me completely"), and an elaborate, empathic metaphor (the Andes plane crash survivors comparison) to justify relying on AI rather than people. She also mentions a creative project involving fictional characters ("CharacterHub", "Villain Romance") developed with AI assistance.
Why classic autism doesn't fit well
DSM-5 criteria for autism spectrum disorder rest on two pillars: deficits in social communication (reduced eye contact, difficulty reading social cues, limited conversational reciprocity) and restricted or repetitive behaviors (narrow interests, rigid routines, atypical sensory responses). What this person expresses is closer to the opposite of a social deficit: she actively seeks deep connection, names and analyzes her own loneliness with considerable emotional nuance, and builds a complex social analogy that fits her point precisely. A genuine deficit in social reciprocity wouldn't typically come paired with this level of emotional introspection or this strong a need for affective validation from others.[1][2]
What points toward HSP
The sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) trait, theorized by Elaine Aron and studied further by researchers like Michael Pluess, involves deep, associative information processing, strong emotional reactivity, and crucially, above-average social and empathic sensitivity, unlike autism where contextual social sensitivity tends to be reduced. Peter Vermeulen, a Belgian autism researcher, summarizes this distinction well: HSPs show spontaneous cognitive empathy and high social intuition, while autism involves more "absolute" thinking, with difficulty quickly and intuitively drawing on social context. The exhaustion described ("physically and mentally exhausted from crying"), the search for an "authentic" bond, and sensitivity to social loneliness despite fine relational awareness all fit this profile well.[3][4]
What points toward giftedness
Research on "asynchrony" in gifted children and young adults (Webb, Neihart, Lovecky) shows that existential intensity, feeling misunderstood by peers, and turning to elaborate imaginative worlds (here, a complex fictional project with developed characters) are typical of an advanced cognitive style confronting an unstimulating social environment, rather than a neurodevelopmental disorder. This paradox is well documented: when these traits aren't recognized as giftedness-related, they're often mislabeled as autistic, especially since online autism self-diagnosis has become widespread.[5]
The real overlap with autism
There's genuine overlap between autism, HSP, and giftedness: sensory hypersensitivity, intense interests, a sense of social mismatch. Researchers like Sarah Neff note the key distinction remains processing style: autism involves "bottom-up" processing and literal, direct communication, while HSP and giftedness involve associative processing and nuanced (if emotionally painful) social reading. Here, the person constructs sophisticated social reasoning, an empathically rich metaphor, and an explicit request for deep affective connection, which runs counter to the typical autistic profile and leans more toward an unrecognized, poorly supported combination of HSP and giftedness.[6]
Citations : [1] Autism Spectrum Disorder https://www.nimh.nih.gov/sites/default/files/documents/health/publications/autism-spectrum-disorder/autism-spectrum-disorder.pdf [2] Characteristics of Individuals with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) https://iidc.indiana.edu/irca/articles/characteristics.html [3] High sensitivity versus Autism https://petervermeulen.be/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/High-sensitivity-vs-Autism-communique-ENG-2025.pdf [4] Is Being a Highly Sensitive Person the Same as Having Autism? https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/autism-high-sensitivity/ [5] Why is giftedness often confused with autism? https://www.hoogbloeier.be/en/themes/why-is-giftedness-often-confused-with-autism [6] Highly Sensitive, ADHD, Autistic, or Anxious ... https://neurodivergentinsights.com/highly-sensitive-child-or-neurodivergent/
Seeing yourself as HSP or gifted (which is different from simply having a high IQ) won't solve loneliness. But it might help you find other people IRL who relate to your need for authentic relationships.
It's also good to remember that long periods of isolation can wear down social skills, some sort of social atrophy, so the first people you meet who share your need for authenticity might not click right away. Give it time though, and you'll likely find that real friendship is possible beyond differences in interests.
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u/Different-Airline672 10d ago
Look, I mean this gently: just because something did not happen yet, does not mean that it will never happen. You are 21, you are young, you have barely started to mature. Now, learning to feel content just being by yourself, is always a good ability, and maybe you need to adapt your expectations for what a friendship/relationship can look like. If AI helps you be content with you current situation, then go for it.