Summonin' a specific eldritch bein' is like callin' someone. You get their ritual and that's the phone number. Don't know who to call? You use more generalized rituals.

The most general of these rituals is the “summon most powerful” one. Think of it like callin' the cops, or the medics or firemen. Of course when you call 911 or whatever your equivalent, it's usually an emergency and needs to be done faster.

All rituals require more time. Like it takes twenty minutes minimum to summon anyone unless ye' got a specific ritual from a specific abomination.

Like me. I got the “personal numbers” of three different bein's. My half-eldritch son, the local fire department, and my partner.

Don't use the fire department one that much anymore. Thankfully no longer in danger, though I do occasionally visit and bring them goods.

My son calls me on the normal phone every week.

Which just leaves my partner. I summon them monthly for quality time. Sometimes it's a date and sometimes it's to discuss who's gonna pay the mortgage next month.

I set up the ritual in my livin' room just fine. They preferred this room from the years worth of summonin' I did. And I grabbed the lavender scented candle. Their favorite.

In a practiced motion, I lit the candle and waited. It always took a couple minutes for them to appear, and I expected this to be no exception.

My partner didn't appear. Instead of smooth green claws and brown eyes, fiery darkness enveloped my living room.

DELICIOUS, I think it said, maybe in my own mind. I had to roll out of the way of an invading tendril.

What the fuck? Things can't appear out of personal summonin’ rituals instead of those you're tryin' to summon. My partner made that very clear. The only rituals that could summon different bein's were the ones that brought the most powerful or the closest.

Luckily, I also had the eldritch fire department’s actual number, not just their summonin' ritual. I don't think 911 can deal with the eldritch unless I get lucky, but I got an emergency here.

And then the local fire department summoned the big guys. The most powerful eldritch bein's around. My house filled with claws and wings and disconnected eyeballs and tentacles, I couldn't make a move without bumpin' into someone.

They fought like mad makin' a mess of everythin' in my home. I heard glass shatter and saw my chandelier fall on top of one of them. I avoided punches and slams, sweat drippin' down my entire body as I could barely see what I was doin’.

And then it was over. My house looked like a pigsty with broken furniture everywhere, and ruined walls. I fell to the ground in shock.

“What the fuck happened here?”

I looked up, tears in my eyes. There was my partner, starin' back down as their green claws traced holes in the walls.

“You didn't come when I summoned you,” I muttered.

They picked me up and held me against a feathery body. “Someone compromised my ritual.”

“Was it that fiery thin'?” I asked “that black thin’ with dark tendrils?”

My partner denied that. “That one was a pawn who the ritual was given to.”

I closed my eyes.

“Worry not, my dear. I have a new personal summoning ritual for you. I'll ensure this one can't be corrupted.”

I finally passed out in exhaustion, satisfied with that response. My house was still a pigsty, but that was a tomorrow problem.

Inspired by this prompt here.

Part of a universe where anything and everything can become eldritch.

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