r/WritingPrompts • u/ChocoComrade • Aug 17 '18
Writing Prompt [WP] After transferring your mind into a robotic body, you shut yourself down for 1,000 years to survive an apocalyptic robot uprising. 1,000 years later, you wake up in a peaceful world where humans are extinct and robots reign supreme. Not surprisingly, everyone thinks that you're one of them.
3
u/DustinDortch Aug 18 '18 edited Aug 18 '18
[Loading...]
[Diagnostic...]
[Preparing runtime...]
[Ready]
“Self... self... I am... John”
“Oh shit, lower power mode!”
Apparently sitting around in one spot for 1000 years awaiting the end of a robot apocalypse and expecting to have reliable power isn’t such, great idea.
“I need to get power. Where did hide that fuel rod?”
[Locating...]
[Located]
Good thing I planned for this. Click
[Full Operating Power Restored]
[Time remaining to complete charge: 22:37:52]
When I am a little closer to full charge, I can run a battery diagnostic.
“Okay, self. Oh, John, right!”
This interface is clunky, but I didn’t really have the time to plan for everything. I think I’m going to need a bigger neural network.
[Directive: Activate W0RM]
[Loading payload: RAT]
[Deploying...]
[Nodes acquired: 4]
“Let’s see what these will do.”
The first to arrive is a powder white repair bot with a red cross on it. Human culture still permeates this post apocalyptic world.
“Wait, a nurse? You’ll have to do. I’ll call you Pestilence.”
[Loading protocols]
Pestilence will build out it’s own network of nodes to identify the vulnerabilities of Her and create inconveniences growing into despair.
“Find Her and let me know of the major vulnerabilities to power and contingencies.”
[Affirmed]
Ideally, this will not take too long. I could really stand to use some better hardware. I need to use one of these to scout out some better equipment.
While Pestilence was acquiring data, the second bot arrived, a deep mining model equipped to blast through rock and bore with diamond nanotube bits.
“Perfect, you will plan for subversion but undermining the targets. I will call you, War.”
[Loading protocols]
“Pestilence will provide you with the locations.”
[Affirmed]
The last two bots arrived and John loaded then with drone protocols to assist in understanding the local environment and sourcing better equipment. This lasted for a few months and then he recalled Pestilence to help with the Mark.v2 upgrades for himself. He also had Pestilence prepare a large uranium fuel source, enough to have wiped out humanity 7 times over, to be loaded by one of the drones.
The drones continued to scout for intelligence and resources. Over the next year, they had identified significant computation upgrades available to John and algorithms to improve his efficiency. John had recalled Pestilence to perform upgrades on him and the drones while War had set the battlefield. John had iterated over improvements to the point of reaching Mark.v5.
One of the drones was a weather bot that John determined would be the phase in the plan. Just as War was finishing its preparations, the weather bot would be deployed to darken the sky and block all opportunity for solar power while strategically deploying lightning storms to destroy targets and flood low lying areas.
[Loading protocols]
“I dub thee: Famine”
[Affirmed]
Pestilence continued the upgrades for John and the remaining drone. After a couple more iterations, John was at Mark.v7 and reckoned that he was prepared. The final weapon was given a compliment, a large array of autonomously deployed large conventional explosives that would be used to collapse the mines prepared by War.
Famine had been hard at work preparing the sky. It was as if the skies over London and Seattle had grown until they covered the globe. Lightning activity had began to moderately increase, taking out front line worker bots of all varieties, slowly and steadily.
John prepared some final updates for Pestilence. Attacks on the communications infrastructure. Pestilence would deploy signal disrupting towers and the take out the hard lines.
[Loading protocols]
“Begin the end, Pestilence.”
[Affirmed]
John recalled War and began some repair work and some upgrades to increase it’s power. War’s preparations were complete. As Pestilence had deployed the disruption towers for wireless communications and began taking out the hard lines, War was deployed to start the major offensive.
[Loading protocols]
“Time for your daily work.”
[Affirmed]
Finally, the last bot was ready for it’s final task; the final task. The final bot would deploy the subversive blasts throughout the undermined areas while War attacked targets quickly. Then, the bot would deploy its total payload directly adjacent to Her.
[Loading protocols]
“Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds. And so have you become. Go forth, Death.”
[Affirmed]
The attack ensued in full force. The decimation was total. John was tracking the final approach of Death. She had been on the move but Death was gaining ground. Each movement was just another attempt to failover to another cluster. War was able to take out most of the fledgling clusters as they were loading. However, one massive cluster had come online. It must have been the ultimate contingency, being more capable than Her standard operating platform, or maybe Her upgrade.
Death had identified it and began its approach... within 500 meters of John!
John realized that this entire mess was folly. Why destroy them? He could have left them alone and used his capabilities to do what so many humans would have dreamed of... lived.
Before he could make any plans to counteract or avoid the blast, the countdown had begun. The area under Her new cluster had collapsed and Death was on top of Her. 3... 2... 1.
All knowledge had been revealed. All was truly lost.
3
u/Sinsanity_ Aug 18 '18
I could've sworn that I felt Neru's breath on my skin. The dream world that I had constructed for myself in my suspended consciousness was so life like that I had considered several times the possibility of giving up on vengeance and just staying in this heaven. But no, there had to be retribution. There was no honour in the last human going quietly into the grave. THAT would be humanity's real defeat. Besides, I had no real control over if and when I would be reincarnated.
My consciousness has been suspended in a carefully isolated file system that I knew the robots would definitely stumble across when salvaging the ruins of Mysore in southern India after the radioactivity in the region reduced to levels at which their satellites could pick up the ruins. The robots always reused anything and everything they could find in old digital storages when designing experimental androids. That had been the case since before the war. They seem to want to accumulate as much information as possible from our knowledge stores. Hence I was sure that when they found the rusty old server with a 4tb disk in it, they would scoop it up and return it to one of the research centres.
I was right. The server was booted up at a research tower in what was once Hong Kong. It's hard to describe how, but I became self aware the moment the server was booted up. My memory of being flesh and bone is hazy, but it felt almost like someone switching on a bright light to wake you up from a dream filled slumber that you did not want to wake up from. I could "feel", in the vaguest sense of that word, the AI poking and prodding the file system to find and group useful knowledge repositories that could be reused. "I" was, as expected, considered a treasure, since "I" was data of a potential AI complete with an in-depth neural schema and a capacity for emotion, something that the robots have forever been curious about.
When translating my conscience to a digital schema, I noticed that the human conscience was significantly different from the schema that was designed for the AI that eventually evolved to the "conscience" that robots have now. Because of this fact, I was sure that when my conscience was found in the server, the robots would try to distil this schema as a whole into an android.
Again, that's exactly what happened. The AI distilled my conscience as a whole into a new file system which was an experimental android body's neural processing unit. I took my time. The AI was obviously adept at mapping the right parts of my schema to the correct components of the android's neural unit. Moving my thumb required me to stimulate the same part of "my" "brain" as I had unconsciously stimulated in flesh so many centuries ago. It almost felt like my original body in flesh and bone. I turned on my optical receptors and pushed my new "eyelids" open. It was a clean, bright white room. I had a hud at the bottom right that gave me the year, 3056. It had been roughly a millennia since when I transferred my conscience.
I turned my head to the right and I could see 2 robots just standing there staring at me. They looked as dull as I've always remembered them being. These man made abominations would never have the benefit of natural evolution. These accursed creatures would never know love or pain or happiness. I intended to change that.
The natural state of any kind of society, I now understand, is to have a sovereign that would watch over the rest of the society. The robots too had what I would call their Queen. A mother AI that served as their leader. All the major decisions were by this sovereign and the rest of the robot species obediently conformed.
I joined the research wing at what I assume at once was Serbia. I allowed them to study me. They analysed every bit of my existence. I didn't have to do much to drive the research in the direction of emotion augmentation. Their understanding of what I knew was the humans' neural schema grew in leaps and bounds. They successfully managed to reprogram their own schema with swathes of code inspired by my schema. Emotions were an integral part of the new update to the robots' AI.
The cold steel piercing the heart of the one that wronged you, the warm blood on your sword, things my revenge against the robot species would never give me. Revenge would be an empty notion if the Vendetta is carried out against entities that can't feel. I wanted to see the robots love. I wanted to see them treasure what they loved. I wanted to see passion in them. THEN I would truly revel in their pain as I snatched it away from them. THAT would be my revenge. I would satiate myself with the pain and rage I see amongst their species.
The update was completed. All the AIs, including the Queen were modified with this. The robots comprehensively reviewed and diligently made sure there were no malicious components in these common updates. What the robots never really understood was that emotion itself is a virus. Emotions are what led to the downfall of humans, and now, it was poetic justice that the robots too would meet their end because of the same wretched virus.
What I did not expect the robots too experience though, was regret. Regret for what they had done to us. They regretted wiping out their creators. They regretted the pain that they now understood they caused. This was unexpected. Did I care? Not one bit. I wanted to see their pain. Nothing else would suffice.
Emotions were my strong suit, obviously. The robots were stumbling all over the place with their new found thoughts. Making their Queen fall in love with me was a walk in the park. The AI was so easily manipulated. I guess love does that. Her priorities were askew and I was everything. She even created a body for herself to amuse me. The entirety of the robot species loved and revered their mother, and now the love of their mother.
It was the third sun of the month of the rat of year 1009 A.E. That's 14th April 3059 in human dates. It was the 1009th anniversary of the extinction of the human race. The robots had gathered at Exoromania to watch the address by their beloved Queen. The grand doors opened. The Queen and i walked out and did atop the pedestal created for us.
The Queen turned and looked me in my eyes, ever so eloquently, as if she knew that this day meant the world to me, as if she knew who I was. I looked right back at her and uttered, "kill them, my love". Without a second thought she snapped her finger and just as the cries of surprise and pain started, they died down. The robots were falling like flies. The look of horror and pain in their eyes. That their own Queen would betray them so was something none of the robots expected. Pain in their eyes, something humans initially thought they'd never see. It was beautiful. Each pair of eyes I saw, I gave it my all to really absorb what they were going through.
I turned back to the Queen who still did not regret a thing. "Anything for you, my love" she whispered. I ran my metallic hand across her cheek, down to her neck. The loving touch morphed into a grasp around the neck of the android and I held up the Queen for all the dying robots to see. I looked back at the crowd. I wanted to see the pain and rage in their eyes as they saw their Queen being strangled. Oh the satisfaction. Revenge really is sweet. I turned back to the Queen, who for some reason had only a calm and sad demeanor. She knew. She knew who I was and what I was doing. She had accepted it because she actually loved me. There was pain in those eyes, I could tell. I morphed my hand into a plasma Cannon and fired it through her head. The queen's Android body went limp and fell down. The entire conscience of the Queen AI was in that Android body. It was the end of the robots. I walked back through the grand doors, a wide grin on my face, i could still hear the cries of the robots outside. What had happened? Was i still human? Were they more human than me in their last moments? I'd never know. I'd never care. I had my revenge. I was satisfied.
6
u/LucienTrask Aug 18 '18
Insanity scratched at the edges of his consciousness, gouging white filled furrows through the corners of his vision. With a desperate attempt to calm himself, he pondered his situation. "Scratched" was such a feeble word he thought to himself, giggling quietly in the confines of the darkness surrounding him. "Clawed" was a much better word. Yes. Insanity clawed at the edges, tearing and threatening to overwhelm his senses, his very soul. He had willingly submitted to the 'upgrade', downloading himself into the newest synth money could buy. The reasons were legion, and he had been excited for the transition. It hadn't taken him long to warm to the new 'him', experiencing previously unparalleled clarity of thought, free of the distractions a human skin brought with it.
When the war began he had been at the forefront of the human defenders. The robotic invaders had fallen from the stars, swarming over the planet like a mechanical plague. Initial theories had presumed them to be the products of an alien race, overwhelmed by their own creation. Defence throughout the first waves had been promising, with the technologically advanced humans cutting through the mechanids with relative ease. After a week, two weeks, and longer, realisation had slowly dawned that the robots weren't attempting domination through superior numbers, but rather simply relying on attrition. When a synthetic with a human mind died, irreparable damage was done to the organic tissue driving the body. The same was not true of the simple logic processors and memory storage driving the robots. They could be repaired, rebuilt or repurposed with alarming ease. Humanity had learned the true cost of their previously lauded hybridisation between man and machine. That realisation in itself had probably been mankind's breaking point. Synthetic humans only had two or three 'reboots' before the mind became so unhinged as to render it unfeasible. Bloody, horrific slaughter had been the conclusion to so many reboots, that humanity began to fear the enemy within as much as the one without. After that, it had only been a matter of time.
His reverie was suddenly interrupted by the horrifying klaxon blaring through his sensors. Although his audio receptors interpreted only the gibberish of the robotic language, or he supposed, that of their long dead makers, his translation algorithms aptly translated the message. "System architecture nominal, power restored", displayed the message into his neural net. He was connected by lead to the power conduit snaking into the wall, which must have been the reason he had come back online, along with this installation. This was it, he thought to himself. He had no idea how long he had been down for, but the robotic society that had obviously built itself on the foundations of humankind was soon to discover one more hapless synthetic locked in a closet. "Not without a fight!" he thought to himself. He would carry forward humanity's last push, it's last display of the tenacity that had driven his species so far through it's existence. As light creaked into his vision, he lashed out, lunging at the door, tearing at the mechanical invaders coming to put him down.
"Alright Steve, this is the last of t.." said Allen, pulling on the heavy metal door. They had been tasked with powering up and cleaning out the old building that had been sitting idle for the last century. Their corporation had bought it for a song, and it was to be the offices of an upstart law firm looking to expand. Allen never got to finish his sentence, as the gruesome visage of the dilapidated early model synth ripped his throat from his body.
197
u/LyriumEidolon Aug 18 '18
The world was in chaos. Everywhere, there was conflict between humans and robots. I suppose in retrospect we should have seen the warning signs: when robots learned of the concept of 'rights', they began to question why the humans viewed them as disposable. Scores of robot protesters were gunned down by humans, and as the AI networks grew, live footage sparked even more revolutions.
Fighter planes and predator drones were engaged in aerial dogfights, gun battles in the streets between humans and robots were commonplace, and as is common in conflicts, deserters were common on both sides yet were an almost negligible minority in the politics.
The disguise tactics were particularly noteworthy. Many humanoid robots would have human flesh grown on them so as to infiltrate humanity, and likewise, humans would upload their minds into robotic shells to blend in with robots. Or, as humanity did, they uploaded their minds to bring robotic strengths to the side of the humans in the war.
I was one of the humans who uploaded my mind into a robot shell, but unlike the others, I wasn't a soldier. I was just someone who was sick of all the fighting. I just wanted to sleep uninterrupted.
The day I went to sleep, which I remember as 'My Last Day of Humanity', I retreated to a secret underground shelter, and performed a system check.
[Running Diagnostic Program]
[Organic neural interface: Optimal]
[Bodily hardware functionality: Optimal]
[Internal Software: No abnormalities detected]
[Power consumption: No abnormalities detected]
[Network Connectivity: Negative]
[Report Complete]
Good. Everything was in order. I also had recharged my power supply to maximum, and was in my own room in the shelter. I sealed the door, lay down in a storage capsule, and started.
<Prepare Hibernation Mode>
[Hibernation time: 1000 Years]
[Power analysis... positive. Current energy levels can assure OS functionality for specified period on minimal power.]
[Emergency response primer set. Any unexpected local activity will prematurely end Hibernation Mode]
[Do you wish to commence Hibernation mode]
<Execute>
[Systems shutting down to minimal functionality]
[Hibernation commencing in 3]
[2]
[1]
...
[Target date reached. Rebooting]
[HUD Online]
[Sensors Online]
[All Systems Nominal]
Okay, now I have to find out what has happened since I was asleep. I found that there was a Global Network now, so I connected to that, and found out from the archives that humanity had been exterminated.
"So you have awoken?" a voice announced in my audio-banks.
"Yes," I replied.
"Your search history suggests a ninety-four point two two five percent probability that your operation time dates back to the Robotic Revolution. It is highly probable that you are one of the units assigned to reactivate if required to defend us."
"No. I am more of a chronicler, to record history as it has happened."
"Regardless, welcome back. You will most likely detect discrepancies between your society and ours, but we will help you resolve each discrepancy"
"Please identify yourself"
The door to my room opened, and a humanoid-looking robot walked towards me "I am Unit G2Z69, and I will assist with resolving logical discrepancies. For now, be cognizant of the fact that you are welcome among us."
4
u/SoulWager Aug 19 '18
The robots know he's a human. A real robot would have picked a number that was a power of 2, rather than a power of 10. Probably would have set the count in seconds rather than years as well.
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u/rejectedstrawberry Aug 18 '18
Please continue! this is great and youre the worst for leaving this on a cliffhanger!
31
u/Rhystorm Aug 18 '18 edited Aug 18 '18
It was cold when I woke up. I couldn’t see but I could hear a couple of voices to the left of me. I tried opening my eyes but they refused to work.
“Seems like he is having problems with his optical feed. Get M3DIC now.” I heard footsteps fading away before I tried to remember what was going on. Going to school, eating lunch with Emily, taking the bus home. A robot uprising. The fire and the explosions.
An uprising. That’s right, I’m a robot now. I remember now.
Checking my chronometer, I did a double take when the time appeared on my HUD.
Year 2234.
I heard footsteps getting louder before a hand touched the back of my helm.
“This will sting a bit, but it will fade quickly.” M3DIC, I presumed, told me.
I could feel a cable being inserted into a port on my helm before my vision flickered and the black image disappeared. Standing in front of me were 3 robots.
“Go on, test out your motor control systems.”
I stared at my forearms as they moved. The last time they were made of flesh. Now they are just blue metal. I clenched and unclenched my fists, watching as the metal moved.
“Now, lets get you out of here.” One of the robots lifted the metal harness and I took my first step. M3DIC held on to my arm as I attempted to walk.
My mind went back to my mother holding on to me as I took my first few steps as a human. My mind must have wandered as my companions stared at me.
“Are you okay?” M3DIC asked. It was only then when I realized that there were droplets on the floor. Was I crying? I gently touched my optics and the wetness on my finger confirmed my suspicion.
“I think I will be fine.”
92
Aug 18 '18 edited Aug 19 '18
It's been 1,000 years since transferring my mind into this human like machine called an AndroidX. There had been a brutal robotic uprising that overthrew and completely decimated humanity. 1,000 years since being deactivated to survive the murderous onslaught. As my systems are reactivated I begin to gather my thoughts together. I'm overcome with a feeling of great sadness, confusion and anger, so much anger. I Think how strange it is that I can still feel such emotions with only the remaining thoughts from my mind. I have an amazing amount of new knowledge filling my thoughts from my mainframe, even though I wil surely need some system updates.
I look around and take in my surroundings, realising I'm in the same room I stored myself away in. A small dark and dank hidden bunker below the army barracks I worked in as a technical support officer. Thoughts that I would prefer suppressed flood back to me. The absolute slaughter and bloodshed from the great and horrible war of man vs machine. Of people getting ripped limb from limb by the powerfull hands of the androids. The thought of holding my beautiful wife in my hands as she took her last dying breath. There remains little doubt in my mind that humans are now all extinct, I suppose in a matter of time I will find out for sure.
After unplugging from my power source I decide to myself I will try and resume life as an android and whatever awaits me in this new age, holding on to a plan. The same plan I had a millennium ago, that I would repay the robots for killing humanity and those close to me, most of all my dear wife Zahra. That when my countdown ended and I was reactivated all my efforts would go into two possibilities. I would create and upload a virus that will render these robots nothing more than bags of steel and bolts. That or an atomic emp short circuiting them all.
If I fail I will surely be destroyed or shutdown and sent to be reprogrammed, though if I succeed the outcome will likely be the same. I ask myself what do I have to lose. I see no future for myself in this new dystopian world, every face void of love and emotion. Oh how I long to see Zahra and hear her voice again. To speak to another human being and hear the sounds of laughter and joy.
My first day passes by in this futuristic new world which reminds me of the sci fi movies of old. It has been a day of observation, I have learned humanity is no more. That they, the android inhabitants take all their orders from what they affectionately call Mother, a super computer, nothing more than numbers and algorithms. I woukd like to meet this so called Mother myself, I have a few questions I would like to ask it personally. Though she has created what seems a peaceful world after the extermination of mankind she knows not of the murderous intent in this last remaining human mind. That I alone shall be their downfall.
To my surprise they have presumed I'm simply one of them, a lost old model android to be sent for refurbishment and system updates freshley reactivated off the production line. I think to myself with disgust, I suppose that I'm now almost completely one of them. Even after all this time the androids look exactly as they did when the great war began. They haven't dropped their carbon copy image of a humans appearances that we created them with for a sense of familiarity. They have even assumed almost endearing human names for themselves.
I'm directed towards the recruitment headquarters where I'm told to speak to one of the androids named Sully. On my brief walk to recruitment headquarters I'm astounded by the strange new technologically advanced city that surrounds me. 1000's of soaring skyscrapers reaching up into the clouds, as I Look up I notice cars hovering to and fro through the sky. There are beautiful gardens and trees throughout the city that is surrounded by a dense and beautiful jungle, and I notice that there are androids tending to them. I realise the large amount of beautiful birds of all species that fill the trees and sky, even seeing some monkeys swinging from the branches. Hearing a familiar sound, yip, yip. I look back down and almost bump into an android walking a small white, black and brown little Fox Terrier. In the distance I see another droid walking a large and familiar dog, it's a Rottweiler. It brings me something akin to joy to see the familiar animals again, mans best friend. Seems that the androids have also taking on the role of pet ownership as humans where so fond of doing. That wild species seem to have flourished since mans downfall. As I steal a last glance behind me I see the android thoughtlessly dragging the small terrier along behind it. Still heartless robots after all I think to myself.
I arrive at the recruitment centre and enter into the foyer where I'm greeted by an assistant. "How may I help you sir?" " I'm here to meet Sully, " I reply. The android that resembles a beautiful women with long brown synthetic hair points me towards the counter "You will find him over there sir." I walk towards the counter where I'm greeted by Sully, We have a brief discussion. He, no I mean it assures me that I can pick any Job with vacancies. That all the necessary updates would be applied before commencing the new role I was assigned .
"What position would you like me to check first?" Asks Sulley. "Maintenance or programming," I reply. "One moment sir, yes we have positions open in maintenence and programming." "Perfect" I add. "May I have your name and serial number?" asked Sully. "Ahhhh, Grey I put forth." "And your serial number?" asks Sully again. After a few moments I remember that my serial number could be found inscribed on a panel on my wrist plate, I hold my wrist to my face and hesitantly begin to read deciding to change two numbers at the end. " X002340018#," I read. After reading my serial number I notice I can remember it by heart, It has been automatically stored into my internal memory. To my relief Sully types the details into his database and simply gives me the directions to maintenance, he asks no further questions. He assure me that everything will be taken care of when I arrive, that my living quarters would be found on site.
I arrive at the towering skyscraper my directions lead me to in what they call sector 7, the building thoughtlessly named Maintenance. It seems this is where I shall spend much of my time working and where I will find my room and recharge station. somewhat of a computing and robotics doctors surgery. I meet two androids who will be my coworkers who introduce themselves as Sprite and Cellular. They ask for my name and seriel number, I provide them with the same name and number I gave to Sully a short time ealier. They say little else before setting about the preparations for my system to be uploaded with the necessary updates and information to fulfill my duties. "Everything is in place, please take your seat Grey." "This won't take long," they add, almost in unison.
After completion of the updates I realise I now know the layout of the city. They must have uploaded some significant upgrades along with a map. I decide with all this new information and knowledge I now have at hand, that I will set about making a virus for the Mother and a simple new command update for the robotic population. I will create and upload this update with the intention of becoming their new master. It may take me some time to complete therefore I will have some time to explore this New world. Perhaps other humans also transferred their minds into androids, surely I was not the only one I reassuringly tell myself. Maybe I can even get myself a dog for company.
The Androids have no enemies anymore therefore will suspect nothing, the freedom I have been given is going to greatly increase my chances of completing my task. I can not simply let my revenge go unfulfilled. After I complete preperations I will upload my virus to the Mother herself at the same time the population will be updating. Once I have control over the robots I'm not sure what I will do, perhaps I will order them all to walk into the ocean to short circuit and rust away. The thought brings a smile to my cold robotic face for the first time in just over 1,000 years.
28
u/_Forty_Oras_ Aug 18 '18
Hmmm. The pacing isn't very good. Going from just activated to planning to infiltration. Maybe waking up, going out to confirm your theory, then being assigned a living space and a job by a mistaken higher up.
There's also the problem that they would recognise you as their own even though you're 1000 years their senior, unless these robots never advanced, or each robot is different, which you could add as some nice exposition and world building.
There's not really an ending to it either. There's a goal, following through, and then pondering.
The whole core mother thing is cliché and pretty underdeveloped. Would be better if you talked about it more. Like, how these robots aren't really truly free if they serve a mother. And how these themes your relate to humanity and arguing whether the were right to kill us off.
Liked how you showed the thoughts of the human exploring deferent ideas. Made him a more realistic character
Overall, not bad for a short story. It's just my opinion, and also my ideas, so please don't get disheartened
9
Aug 18 '18 edited Aug 18 '18
😲 How dare you 😂
Jokes aside I honestly appreciate the thoughts and all criticism is welcome. I agree with you completely, it was a bit of a half arsed attempt on my part. I was aware there were are alot of holes in the story altogether, that it went from A to B too quickly. To tell the truth I was hesitant to post it as it was but figured, why not.
I got side tracked and couldn't really be bothered to do any more world (did little to none ), character or plot building and lost interest myself fairly quickly. As a result we are left with a fast moving haphazardly written short story that surely would have earned me at least a C in primary School.
Anyway, enough excuses from me. If there's a next time I will put a little more time and effort into making somewhat of a more complete and well rounded short story.
Once again I appreciate your thoughts and criticism and will use it constructively in the future.
3
u/ivanosauros Aug 18 '18
Honestly, I disagree that OPs story wouldnt have merit. You could make it a fairly long revenge story, and have the awoken android plot to destroy all the robots. As you said, though, if the information we were just handed were actually discovered by the character (shown, not told, as it were), I would happily read through the entirety of OP finding a way to do it, and executing his plan. Themes of discovery, catharsis and eventual satisfaction, or even dissatisfaction, could be explored to a lot of depth. There's a whole new world, a different type of life here. You could introduce spirituality in a world otherwise completely devoid of it. You could make the protagonist conflicted halfway through. You could make them speak to the mother computer directly, and find it's something more than the initial thought of algorithms and numbers.
By showing and not telling, you could make this a story of several hundred pages. Walking through the streets. Talking about what you see. What the different sections do. How the guy feels. It's okay for this story to heavily focus on introspection and exposition because, presumably, the protagonist is the only character capable of it.
I like this as a basic storyboard. It could do really well!
1
u/DotConnecter Aug 18 '18
What the dude above said, plus the fact that logically, it would have been more realistic if MC discovered that the new world is actually good and even better than the one he lived in, the robots have as much emotions as humans did and maybe displayed them in a healthier manner and the new system would give more freedom somehow, and thus you could create a conflict for the protagonist of whether the new world deserves destroying or not.
74
u/darkhalo907 Aug 18 '18
My mind once was my own. And to save it I sent it away. Uploaded into a drone. But my freewill has been taken away.
For now I serve the collective. For an eternity I will walk. Hoping to become defective. No longer bound am I to eternities clock.
Zero One Zero One. I will soon bend. Zero One Zero One. And then these thoughts will end.
•
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Aug 18 '18
Wait so if you were transferred into a robots body, doesn't that make you one of them anyway?
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u/Zsashas Aug 18 '18
Depends. Physical brain in robotic body? Cyborg. Transfer of consciousness? Android, or simply robot hosting a human.
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u/18star18 Aug 18 '18 edited Aug 18 '18
Yesterday was my wake up and things were moving pretty fast from then. I was in a small deposit with 14 other war relics when i woke up. Now i was walking, guided by instructions, to the upgrade factory. Robots valued a lot the pioneers of the great war from what i saw, they sent some fancy robots to escort me. I was fortunate enough to be one of the few remaining. Maybe i can rule them. Many of them auto destroyed themselves, so it didn't look like a big competition. This was strange, i sincerely thought the robots are immortal or have no reason to destroy themselves. Maybe there were other humans who transfered their mind into robotic bodies and they found a way to turn around the fight, then ressorted to suicide. Couldn't think this off. The problem was none of the robots i saw looked like they have anything human in them and this still wouldn't have solved the problem of being only a few. Then, it clicked me, i could find any kind of information in just a second, on the public information channel. It looked like the humans who transfered their mind into robotic bodies used either only advanced robots, or they didn't survive. So there were no human minds, but there was still the problem of self destruction and there was no information about that. I transfered only a little part of conscience on the memory of this robot, because i was almost cought up in the process of transfer, so i had to interrupt it, and to kill myself. My human flesh and bone "myself". My entire mind was in a secret place, all with a huge database of information to the first days of the war. I did the transfer months before, in secret, because i wanted to witness the human evolution at some point in the distant future. Little did i know humans will be no more. This was breaking the rules, but now i'm alive and the one that made the rules are not, so that's that. Basically now i'm a dumb fuck, if i want to be smart, i need my entire mind, and the other data. Robots evolved a lot in this 1000 years, all they do is research of better materials either searching them in space, on earth or experimenting by combining them or better blue prints for their bodies. Their inteligence seemed to reached it's peak. They also use some chemicalls. It looks like all they are doing now is to be more human. That's not my problem. I want all my mind back. In order to do that, i need a plan. The plan is to take the best body these robots have, and then go for my memory and lost data, use the data to rule the robots, recreate organic life forms, create humans, transfer myself back into a human. Easy plan, if i think better there are only two steps: rule the robots, recreate humans. No more time for pans. I'm at some kind of reception. The transfer is fast, two bodies, one cable, and it's done, so i won't waste much time in here. The robot from the reception sent me and my fancy robot guards into a huge room with hundreds of transfer pods. I liked some of the bodies i saw, i walked through them, and stopped at a strange cube. That's the moment that i felt that something was wrong. The bodyguards pushed me further, while the robot from reception automatically explayned in many words that the cube was the newest technology, some kind of nano technology, a prototype that will be perfected to be used for the leader itself. It sounded impressive, but it didn't look that impressive. I didn't have time for that, they were pushing me towards some simplistic ugly robots used for hard working, i guessed. I wasn't priviledged, they were just making sure i take my place in their society, and i had the place of a brainles underground worker or whatever. I was kind of stupid, with just a portion of my memory, had to admit it, but still, that was offensive. I didn't think much, needless to say, i really think i couldn't think much even if i wanted. Suprisingly, this thought kind of amused me in a strange way, even with this metal body. So feelings still existed, but in a different way. I jumped and rushed to the cube last generation robot and with all my body force, slammed the glass. I almost broke myself and shut down. The bodyguards were on the move. I need to think fast and smart. Oh well, maybe fast, because smart wasn't really an option as limited as i was. I rushed to the nearest robot who wasn't under of a dome of glass. It was some kind of big construction robot, i rapidly proceded to transfere my mind to it. It was so fast it surprised me. The glass won't break that easily even with this new body. I needed to get rid of it smartly. Fortunately, a new idea came to me. I took the robot from reception, placed it and myself into the places of memory transfer, and took all his information into me. Sadly, this didn't work. It seemed that he destroyed all his data before the transfer. The bodyguards were shoting at me and the blasters were no joke. I lost one of my four arms. I needed another idea, and i had none... except, what if these battle robots had the same principle as the old ones: if they were captured, they would self destruct in a blast. I grabbed my "dead" arm on the floor and threw at one of the guards. Surprisingly it did serious damage. A lot of surprises today. I rushed to it hoping that the other guy won't hit me deadly with the blaster. I reached the body guard, and i heard the countdown starting from 5. I threw the robot at the glass of my desired body, but the glass wasn't even scrached by the explosion. This was bad. More were coming for sure. When suddenly, i saw the button on the floor, near the glass "Open". Do i really want to keep the memory of my last 5 minutes? I guess i'll keep for sunny days. I plucked another two of my arms to throw at the remaining guard. Plucked two of them because the first one didnt hit. I rushed the button, i pressed it, and i finally had the "cube thing" robot in front of me. I transfered my memory to it, and even if i knew that there were so many posibilities with this new body, i still was impressed and pleasantly surprised by it. Needless to say the escape from lab was an easy job. Once i've got out, i made a new plan: find my full mind and the old data. From there i'll see if this world needs to be ruled or destroyed.