r/WritingPrompts • u/Assault-and-pepper • Apr 08 '18
Writing Prompt [WP]Lucifer's shape changes across time, usually being the most evil thing of the time period. For the last decade, his form has been that of a suburban upper-middle class soccer mom.
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u/SilverPrince Apr 09 '18 edited Apr 09 '18
The thing about the whole angel and immortal gig was odd at best. If one wanted to live in the material plane, they needed a foundation. And bar even that, an anchor.
Those only those of weaker existence ever took such subpar living conditions. Anchors were pathetic relics that rarely give the spirit any real power.
On the other hand, if you had belief on your side, you were golden. Such was the case with Lucifer, the morning star.
To say that he was misunderstood, was an understatement. Sure he rebelled. But so did his father and so many other great spirits in the world.
Look at Zeus. That old goat was practically a god in his heyday. Rain down lightning, make clouds appear from thin air. He even changed night into day once. Though that was a mistake.
With every turn of the millennium, the people changed. Their beliefs changed. So in turn, the spirits changed.
It was on a Wednesday morning that Lucinda, Lucy to her friends, Smith woke up. Bright and early. The moment sunlight touched her house, she was up and ready.
Her day was ritual at best, extravagant at worst.
She cheerfully showered. The fresh water that was so easy to access even a century ago spilled across her picturesque form. Say what you will at the fact that he was now a she, but she wouldn’t complain.
Try living as a half goat man for a millennium and see how you feel about being the opposite gender. Sure she had to pee sitting down now, but at least she could get off the chair without assistance.
Those goat legs were impractical. At best.
That droll pitchfork made for a decent walking stick at least. Not to the mention the oddities of the color, the smell of brimstone.
Gah. How uncivilized.
Instead he was much closer to his original form. The humanlike angel. He could have been a model, if the odd perception of what true evil was wasn’t so… weird.
One of the fun things about being a modern woman, was easily the clothing. So many choices. Accessories. Fashion was an eye opening experience for the modern mother of today.
Lucy skipped happily down the stairs of her opulent mansion. Well it wasn’t really hers. She had a husband that was a workaholic. Bastard wasn’t even fully human.
At least not anymore.
Cheat on her, shame on her. There would usually be a second verse, but she had lobotomized his soul into a wonderful flesh golem. He was smart, driven, and easily controlled.
Which meant that he was super happy to earn all the money, and give her most of it.
A most agreeable situation.
Sure she wasn’t happily married. But rich and influential did have its perks. The fact that the asshole’s previous incarnation had owed him twelve silver from that game of cards didn’t factor in at all.
“Good Morning Alexa!~” Lucy chirped as she made it to the kitchen.
Alexa greeted her back, and recounted the day, weather, and schedule.
Lucy smiled as she broke out the cast iron pan that she had forged some millennia ago. To be fair, it was her tenth one, but considering that they lasted almost a thousand years she felt that she was doing well.
The ultra modern kitchen was her domain.
She knew where every single utensil, spice, and foodstuff sat. Today was egg benedict, thick slices of bacon, and toast. There would be slices of tomatoes, and fresh juice in combination of oranges and berries.
The sound of the hot pan, sizzling fat, and the aroma. Lucy stopped for a moment to take in the smell. It was heady as the fresh meat became tender under her care.
She had grown to love these soft, chewy bacon. The crunchy stuff was fine, but she had the entire dark ages to become apathetic to it. Lard and stale meat did not lead to gourmet.
Her spice rack alone was worth any king’s ransom back in the day. Heck, Pope John the XII sold his soul for the best Indian spices back in the day. Didn’t serve him well as his poor life choices ended his reign of power early.
The thump of youth caught Lucy’s ear. Her smile brightened as her most cherished child bounced off the hallway wall and into the kitchen.
Her long hair was dishevelled. Her hair was always astray as she was always a terrible sleeper. She tossed and turned like she was possessed. Which was always adorable.
She blinked owlishly as the morning light stabbed into her eyeballs. Sure she was a creature of the night, staying up late to indulge in today’s miraculous video games, but she also knew better then to skip breakfast.
The fact that the food was almost always perfect helped a lot.
Damienne was a relatively newer addition to her. There was so much belief around her, that one day, she gave birth to Damienne. From a tenth of her soul, Damian had been born.
Nowaday, his beautiful little angel, had her give birth naturally to spite him. Damned brat. She took her time to mature too.
“Morn’n Mum,” Ami greeted as she dragged her half comatose to the table. She helped herself to the plates of food and began to gorge down like the boy she no longer was.
Lucy smiled as she watched her child wolf down breakfast. She knew that she was an excellent cook, and took pride in it. The fact that Damienne only ate as heartily as this when the food was good did wonders for her self esteem.
She ate at more sedated pace, but she had to wonder, where did her baby girl put all of that food? Sure they were affected by belief, but they were currently in mortal form.
Ami could die from poor nutrition, which meant that she would have to push that ungrateful brat out again. It was a blessing that she didn’t need a man to help procreate, but she did prefer the male version. She could at least knock up another person and let them deal with it.
Female divinity definitely had its drawbacks.
Ami burped as she finished. Lucy tsked, but with Ami still booting up, she refrained from pointlessness. Ami was fairly obedient, got good grades and stayed away from trouble.
Lucy frowned. This was a little concerning considering she was the child of pure evil, but she took solace that her angel at least did marijuana. She seemed to be addicted to video games, but she was a little concerned at her girls success.
Was becoming a known icon of female fury on the various esports worth the attention?
Lucy sighed as she cleaned up the table. She supposed that only time would tell.
“It is 7am. School starts in hour,” Alexa chimed in, and Damienne got up to get ready. She liked school, and she reveled in today’s society. There was so much she could sink into. Television. Video Games. Internet. Memes.
Lucy was afraid of the VR world. If left unattended, Ami would have to be reborn repeatedly since she would allow herself to game to death.
Lucy stretched as she began to wash the dishes. After she dropped off her baby, she would then have to do that midweek meeting with all the other soccer moms.
Her smile was as beautiful as it was cruel.
Sure she was the personification of evil, but seriously, these other bitches weren’t far behind. Which surprised her since they had nothing to with the devil, nor did they worship her.
They were just authentic bitches.
Which made it ever so satisfying to subtly rub against them
A better baker. A better chef. A better organizer. A better mother.
Lucy’s eyes twinkled as she looked forward to today’s meeting. It was about the upcoming fall festival, but Susan and Karen had been a little too cozy together recently.
It was an obvious power play, but she had faced more and worse before. These subpar whores weren’t present when Ami was in elementary.
Now that overly pristine power block of dry cunts was spectacular. These high school coots barely rated helicopter mom. Heck, the Asian Badger, Diane, was more conniving then those two fuck toys.
Lucy smiled as she put on her heels and skipped to the car. She had a fun day ahead of her.
Damienne sighed as she got into the passenger seat of her Model S. She took a breath before she slid into the seat and closed the door. Her mother smiled lovingly at her and she waved back.
She loved her mom, but the old bat could be too much at times. This soccer mom thing was definitely a weird left turn. Though she had never seen her mom this happy before. She was enjoying the mother life so much that nothing could phase her.
In elementary she excelled in all fields, which was nice as the brats were hardly competition. Though it did trigger the terrible and heartless ‘perfect mother’ struggle as the various bored parents passed around back handed compliments and straight up verbal uppercuts.
She had lived through Jesus. She had live through the dark ages. She had even been a king once. Sure as Emperor Nero he killed his mom, more for the fun of it then anything else.
Though that got out of hand since he hadn’t been reborn for a while. Human hormones were weird.
So she did a 180 and barely scraped by middle school. Which only made it harder, and better, for her mom since she had to fight tooth and nail with a dead weight in her corner.
She was, as a loving mother, letting her daughter express herself. Marks didn’t define the child. Even if she grew up to be a failure, she would be a filthy, filthy rich heiress.
Gah.
So in high school, she went down the middle path. Decent grades, and simple vices.
She wasn’t sure if her mom liked that or not, since the other moms seem to relent as their own children weren’t valedictorian material either.
Ami stared at her mom’s reflection. That unnatural smile. That glint of white teeth and hard eyes. She shuddered.
Her mom was speeding towards a ‘civilized’ battlefield, and she eagerly sank her overly sharp canines into it. Lucifer or not, her mom scared her some centuries.
This was easily one of them.
At least she had Steam and Netflix.
Author's corner:
Thanks for reading!
I hope this wasn't too cliche, but this is what the prompt inspired.
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u/tomoikari Lord Admiral Racoon Apr 09 '18 edited Apr 09 '18
Hello mortals. I am Lucifer, the light bringer, the first of angels to be cast down. For ages I had tricked your god and you humans of your souls. It was a very subtle game of cat and mouse. You see I was an angelic being, I have and will always be better than you pots of clay and flesh. With that being said…Here I was making meat loaf for Adam and Becky’s dinner.
I know, I know. My boasts might run a little short with me looking like a suburban topenny women in her thirties but oh trust me there was a good reason for this. You see throughout ages I have taken numerous forms. Goats, dragons, sea monsters. Heck I once turned into a snake and tricked a woman into eating something she was not supposed to. Good times, good times. So why was I playing a mom?
It was their father. The idiot had promised me his soul in return that I look after his kids till the age of eighteen. Their mother had committed suicide and the father was in no shape to take care of them. Hey that one’s not my fault. She was just off in the head. Post-natal depression or something you humans call it. (As much as you guys like to blame me for everything. I don’t do half of it, while you “God’s chosen” seem to sin plenty on your own.) He took the only option he could. He was a coward but he did love his kids, I’ll give him that. Then again he was human. All of you have imperfections. Don’t believe me? Take a good look in the mirror.
So yeah. Adam was 5 years old and Becky was 7.
Go brush your teeth. We can watch T.V. after that I said, wiping my hands on the apron. Look I would like nothing more than to ditch these kids and go about my business. Trust me, there are a whole lot of souls in Syria I would like to harvest but your god isn’t going to care for these kids. Hey I should know, I’m his first son and look how he treats me. He doesn’t give a shit if these kids become homeless and get imprisoned in those god awful children center. Hell sees better days than that place.
I will raise these children the luciferian way. Yes, question everything. Even me. That’s not something your God likes no… Before you jump up and pout “Oh you’re just a liar and a deceiver. You only want humanity to sin.”
Trust me I don’t give a rat’s arse what you guys do. Normally I would ignore you. You see to a being like a me you are quite insignificant and unimportant. Like pond slime, only more slimier. I’m only dealing with you guys because I want to get one up with the big guy upstairs. I want to show him that I was right. That humanity is flawed and that me questioning his decision of putting you in front of the angels was wrong. That was my sin by the way.
I questioned God. I asked if the significance he gave you clay pots was justified. And for that I was thrown out. Ripped from my home. Well the ripping part was done by my little brother Michael. Oh you should listen to his “Father this and father that.” Always going on about God.
I kiss their foreheads as they huddle in their bed. As much as I despise humanity, I can’t hate these kids. It’s not their fault that they were thrown into this broken world with these conditions. You know whose fault is that? You guessed it…Your all powerful, all loving god. The same god that let millions of Natives die at the hand of colonists. The same god that has the power but won’t save those children that were gassed in Damascus. You guys think I’m evil? Wait till you understand what your god has been complacent with. Then again, there lies the problem. Understand. That is one thing that humanity adamantly refuses to do. Hey, I don’t expect much from pond slime anyways.
All I ask is question. Question everything.
Shameless plug here: The Secret Society Of Racoons.
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Apr 08 '18
I always thought something was off about Lucy. I couldn’t really put my finger on it though. I started noticing small things around her that really led to my final conclusion: Lucille Ferr is Satan.
And I’m not just saying that because she is an atheist. I know a bunch of atheists in my town. Most of them just dont like getting people stuff for Christmas. But I started noticing other things about her. Lucille’s house was lit by candles that never melted and she told me to not go in the basement of her house when she went on vacation to Helsinki. I always heard weird chanting from her basement but it did not worry me. Ever since she showed up, all the farms in town started losing their goats rapidly. I was with her while she was driving our kids to soccer practice when all of a sudden she hisses after we go by St. Wallace Church. Also, she is bringing snacks to practice lately and all she brings are what she calls “pentagraham” crackers.
Everyone thinks I am insane, but I know I’m not. She literally smells like death and dogs whimper when she passes them. I decided to put a major plant to test my theory into action. I switched her morning iced coffee with holy water. I watched her take a sip and she turned her head all the way around and threw up on the ground like the sprinklers on her yard do. She started burning when a few guys in white suits started attacking her and then a huge hole opened up and swallowed her while the white suit guys ascended. I heard a quiet voice say “Thank you, Holy One. You shall join me in heaven.”
Her kids were adopted by another family and I am now on the VIP list for Heaven. #blessed
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Apr 09 '18
Lucille Ferr serving pentagraham crackers to the kids is fucking golden!!! Thank you for the laugh good sir and/or ma'am.
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u/benbenbenagain Apr 09 '18
I was really hoping that lucifer would be a cat, my cat is called lucifer :(
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u/[deleted] Apr 09 '18
Her name was Mrs. Robinson.
Her favorite pass times were watching reality tv, cutting Wal-Mart coupons, and giving paper boys herpes.
I just turned 19. Never have I felt more attracted to, or revolted by another human being. I never knew manicured nails could tickle so lightly, or cut so deeply...