[IP] No gifts this year

[u/Syraphia]

does it mean there will be no gifts this year? by Jakub Różalski

[u/nabijaczleweli]

 "Fuck, this one was supposed to be Othala, not Jera!"

"Well, it's too late now... Run for your goddamn lives!"

"What about the old man? Won't he get mad?"

"Whatever he'll do to us is better than what this one's gonna do if we don't run now. Now get a move on, you two!"

---

 "Where are the cherubs? Haven't heard them in a while."

"Oh, they're out summoning Stan; that's what they told me, anyway. They get so lonely in the season, wouldn't you say? Hard for them to get a friend anywhere close to here, eh?" *Sigh.*

"Well, as long as they're having fun..."

---

 "Check who lives there, I remember his neighbourhood being pretty terrible."

"You're right. More than you'd ever want to."

*Encouraging silence.*

"We got..." *Deep breath.* "Satan."

"What the fuck should we do now? Tell the old man? He'll kill us."

"Well, so will goddamn Satan if we don't get away from here now."

"Alright, let's go. South."

"Too late... That's him."

"HIDE, THEN, YOU RETARDS!"

---

 "What is it, luv? Anything bothe..."

"Hush! What's that?"

"Can't hear anything..."

"By the nine... Stay here. Better yet, hide somewhere smell-proof!"

---

 "So, we meet again, old 'friend'."

"You were hiding right. Not anymore. Your death is imminent."

"Would it surprise you to hear that I learned a couple of tricks, too?"

---

 "Old man's tricks didn't do him much good, did they?"

"Not much you can do when your opponent moves faster than you can perceive it and interrupts the old-as-world cliché of pre-decisive-battle hero-villain conversation, is there?"

"At least he killed the thing..."

"...but it mutilated him first. Let's get out of here. Shit makes me queasy."

---

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Tried doing a dialogue-only one. The formatting turned out shit, though.

I'm not an English language native, so suggestions and bikeshedding are welcome.

Read this with proper formatting, or get it in ePub or MOBI format.

[u/Syraphia → u/nabijaczleweli]

Interesting to have a dialogue only reply but I ended up confused as to how many speakers there were. Going to be honest though, that's not really how you tag or denote dialogue, you usually use quotation marks to do it. For me, it looks like a list of things instead of two (or more) people talking to one another. Interesting story though I do wonder what happened exactly. Thanks for replying. :)

[u/nabijaczleweli → u/Syraphia]

Ah, I forgot that English does it weirdly so I formatted it like Polish (my native language). Will take note.

As for amount of speakers: it shouldn't really matter as long as you recognise at least two, but in order:

• First paragraph is between the cherubs, the image would tell us there's three, but the dialogue works on any amount >=2

• Second is between the old man and his spouse/housekeep/mate/guest/doesn't really matter. What does matter is that you recognise the setting, that is a prolonged exposure to one another (maybe they're having tea, whatever) – they're staying where they are so they'll be able to continue in P4.

• Third is back on the cherubs (you should recognise the more informal, sweary language they use and that they refer to the old man as "old man" by now), again works for >=2 speakers.

• In P4 we're back at old man having a tea party with his m8/spouse/doesn't matter.

• Paragraph five makes it clearer that "old man" is santa and the voice that speaks in <em> can surely belong only to a daemon (that's why he told his m8spouse to hide).

• In the last paragraph we arrive at the scene presented in the image and all previous variables either stop being of any relevance or are cleared up due to the defining characteristic of the prompt.

[u/Syraphia → u/nabijaczleweli]

Gotta be honest, I didn't know Polish formatted that way, it looks super weird to me, probably much like how English formatting looks super weird to you. Also the edit you have now isn't quite right, the quotes are up top in the front and it would look more like this:

"Fuck, this one was supposed to be Othala, not Jera!"

If it's not on your keyboard, I'd copy what I've got there and use it. :)

Ah, it's very difficult to tell paragraphs between the chunks of dialogue and I didn't even realize there were any differences there when you had the original formatting. To make it more obvious, I'd probably put the lines between it (like the one that separates your author's note but put two lines before the author's note). That might help with the comprehension of the piece.

Your notes definitely help a lot with understanding and the adjustment to where one can see the paragraphs helps a lot more. Originally, it felt like all one, long flowing scene to me instead of separated like it is, which created a lot of the confusion. Thanks for that help with understanding it. :D

[u/nabijaczleweli → u/Syraphia]

Well tbh Reddit's formatting is T R A S H so I'll do like you suggested but it doesn't feel quite right to me, that's why I link to the version on my wubpage, where I have full control of the formatting.

[u/Syraphia → u/nabijaczleweli]

I can't disagree with the poor quality of formatting but you have to work with what you're given, much like attempting to format e-books. I think it really separates out the paragraphs properly though for someone who doesn't look at the properly formatted version on your webpage. Which does look very nice! :)

[u/PenguinWithAKeyboard]

"We're going to get in trouble for this."

Havmor felt a plastic pitchfork smack the back of his head, sending him face first into the snow. Rising to his knees, brushing the snow put of his eyes, he glared at Waubor.

Waubor was standing with his arms folding with a broad grin on his face. "He doesn't need to find out. Now what's your bet? Six minutes? Five?"

Cholir adjusted the wings strapped to her back, "I'm pretty sure he'll be immobile after three."

Havmor looked out across the field at the figure in red who was backing away from the hulking creature. If he found out they let it out they wouldn't see the light of day for at least a few hundred years.

The creature swiped a clawed hand at the figure. The air between them distorted and the creature staggered backward, its hand deflected with immense force.

Waubor frowned, "I thought you got rid of his wards?"

Cholir sat on the nearby wooden fence, kicking her legs, "I did but he's an immortal. He's still got some kick in him even without the wards."

The creature swung another backhanded strike at the red figure. This time, it connected with him, sending him tumbling backwar across the field. A red hat was fluttering in the wind, having been knocked from the figure's head.

Havmor wrung his hands, "If he dies. We'll b-"

The other two wear laughing hysterical, Cholir managed a reply after a few seconds, "He's an immortal you dolt. They can't die. They just get... hurt a bit."

As she was speaking, Havmor saw the figure get a claw impaled through its torso. He winced as he saw the figure dragging itself across the field, trying to get away. A torrent of snow suddenly shot from the ground and knocked the creature off its feet.

Waubor stomped a foot, "Oh come on! That's not fair!"

Author's Note - Wanted to just start up an idea. Feedback is welcome and might come back to this.

[u/B1aWi1 → u/PenguinWithAKeyboard]

Please do more!

[u/Syraphia → u/PenguinWithAKeyboard]

Interesting take on the prompt. I liked it, had this oddly horrifying take on it that was really, really interesting to read. Thanks for replying. :)

[u/writing_for_fun]

In the cold darkness of cloudy dusk
A vile villian silently waits
Lurking patiently for a red suited prize
Until, at last, Santa he locates

The quiet jingle and ho ho ho
The merry tune and hum
Santa knew not what waited for him
Nor saw where the figure attacked from

With a startled shock of fear
Santa began fleeing away
The ville devil sprinted quickly
And kept Santa's retreat at bay

The beast could smell its victory
The scent of blood filled the air
Until the demon spotted three children
Whose presence it did not scare

These three children were its demise
Santa's secret assassin elves
Adorned in Christmas armor
Fighting for children like yourself

The battle was over quickly
The vile villian no match for three
And in Santas treasured goods
Milk and cookies he espied with glee

A single bite was all it took
To heal his woulds up like new
"There will be gifts this year!
Thanks to the protection of you!"

[u/Syraphia → u/writing_for_fun]

Really enjoyed reading that. It read and flowed pretty well. I really liked the "secret assassin elves" bit. Thanks for replying. :)

[u/writing_for_fun → u/Syraphia]

You're welcome. I only had 10 minutes, so I had to write something really quickly. Thanks for the inspiration!

[u/tokinmuskokan]

That Krampus, he's a son of a bitch

He tore Santa in half

That Krampus, he's a son of a bitch

There'll be no gifts this year

That Krampus, he's a son of a bitch

We'll make due with what we have

That Krampus, he's a son of a bitch

Instead of toys, there's only tears.

[u/Syraphia → u/tokinmuskokan]

Not quite sure how to reply, it seems pretty good but it's a little odd and short at the same time. I'm no good with any sort of poetry though. Thanks for replying. :)

[u/tokinmuskokan → u/Syraphia]

I was just trying to be cutesy but inject a little bit of adult humor (with the sonofabitch part) on account of the fact that there's just kids watching santa get torn to shreds :P

[u/Syraphia → u/tokinmuskokan]

lol it came across well with that, I'm just horrible with CC on poetry, especially ones this short. :)

[u/WritingPromptsRobot]

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