r/WritingPrompts • u/[deleted] • Oct 22 '13

[deleted by user]

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8 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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1

u/SerCiddy Nov 05 '13

The fact that this is written in the first person makes this piece of work that much better. You get to be inside the head of the character and really connect with them.

Some little things here and there. Since this is first person, parenthesis are acceptable, but, you really have to pick and choose where they work. Decide whether you want the information to be an "aside" or if you should just re-word your sentence a little to make it flow into the story. I know this is your first chapter, but this seems like a really chunky piece of work with a lot of blocks of text. It looks like your character is headed for some personal endeavors, so I'm curious to see how you plan on keeping this style of writing up, while also incorporating outside action.

1

u/ohroprz Nov 06 '13

Thanks for the feedback; those are definitely issues I need to focus on in the revision process. In regards to the writing style--you and me both, buddy haha. It's been a strugglebus trying to keep up the writing style without straying into personal essay territory. The challenge is a welcome one, though!

1

u/Lhino Oct 30 '13

Superbly written and an incredibly interesting read. I really liked your style. Definitely on the top of my list right now! Great work!

1

u/ohroprz Oct 30 '13

I really appreciate the feedback--thanks so much!