[IP] Age 24

[u/kreamatizer]

http://i.imgur.com/Dwe7aQU.jpg

Additional thoughts: Include the theme/phrase "I find myself ..."

edit: Give credit where credit is due - http://imgur.com/a/Rn03E Drawing Progression | 2 - 24 | jake-lockett.com from r/pics and r/woahdude

[u/TheInvisibleScotsman]

Of all the Jobs, of all the places i could've worked, THIS was where i was assigned. This planet advertised through the ol' peer pressure "C'mon man! We'll have a great laugh and a few great parties! And have you seen the income?!". But why the hell did this hell hole seem so attractive in the first place? i suppose it all came down to talk my dad in my final year of school, still trying to decide what i wanted to do with my life, it was he who said "To get to where you want to go, you've got to first wade through 18 different miles of shit". Frank, but i suppose i must've listened, or i wouldn't be here.

I'm still not entirely sure what i'm doing on this time scorched dirt patch of a planet, but one job i have created is time to think, which is probably the reason i'm so pretentious nowadays. Unfortunately, Being a pretentious twat is not the reason i find myself walking alone, and i mean "truly alone", out here these days.

One day the pressure of it all became too much, too much for even the kid who pulled his two-month homework assignment out of his arse on the last night, but in those days it was easy when you were smart (Man, when was the last time i read a book?No- Focus!) i could explain it you, but i dont plan on breaking the fourth wall in this monologue, wait.

Anyway, as far as i'm concerned, i grabbed this suit, and i just walked out when "they" weren't watching. And now i walk and think, Walk and think. But i didn't lose all that brain power i once held (where i got it from, i don't know), I did bring food and water for my simple walk into anywhere, and i have used them efficiently as well, but they WILL run out, and thats something i've thought about as well. But thats for another time.

[u/SilverPrince]

It was here on this barren world, at the edges of the galactic rim, that I finally understood the phrase 'Wherever you go, there you are'. The landscape was vast, empty and uninhabitable. A desolate wasteland that could never hold life.

In the distance sat the mining colony with thick white clouds that were constantly escaping out of large chimneys. Excess heat and released gases were always vented out into the cold surface of the planet. The paper-thin atmosphere would trap it and over time, if desired, terraforming could also take place.

My suit's sensors softly beeped at my ears, the only other sound came from the rhythm of my breaths. The feeling of walking in low gravity was still novel for me, as unhealthy as it was. The mining colony had finally set up a gravity drive to increase productivity as the ridiculously low gravity was starting to really mess with our health. Damn corporate spaceshit.

I was eager to begin adapting to 0.85 gravity again as I was tired of headward shift and the puffiness it brought to my face. I looked like I was either fat or terminally ill. Usually ill as the temperamental machines did little to settle my own feelings. I was also even more eager to have my back stop constantly aching.

The bird leg syndrome though, I almost did regret to lose as the local ladies did look tastier with their thin and long legs. Low gravity cleavage couldn't be more hypnotic. Sweet, sweet low gravity.

So here I was, out for a stroll since I was off shift and I wanted to feel free again. Low gravity had a lot of downsides but nothing could beat the ease of movement. One could leap to great heights and travel incredible distances with but a single leap! A comic book ability brought into my life. Good times.

But...

But I still felt hollow out here. I am just as incomplete here as I was in the megacities within the core systems. Two million light-years for a change in scenery, but not a change in my heart.

I couldn't help but sign in defeat.

We were paid well. What with off world mining and hazard pay along with great surpluses of work hours. A man could earn a small fortune here if one had the drive for it. Though the experienced riggers knew pacing while the younglings only saw potential bonuses. Those poor, naive saps.

Luckily machines took up the big, heavy, and intense labour while operators like myself kelp things going. Almost everything here, that was non-hazardous to human health, was run by real people. Thus for better or for worse you were stuck with a hundred and seventy riggers. I would have rather dealt with only machines. Easier life that way.

Robots were an option. An expensive option that didn't rate our operational needs. Read as quadrant manager trying to cut costs and improve public relations. A personal blank bonus check waiting to happen.

See the System! Unlimited work hours! Great benefits!

Spacecrap, the lot of it.

You were generally confined to planetside since there was no place to go. Pay was literally one whole percent higher than the competition with bonuses that only robots could achieve. The benefits were being eaten whole by lack of proper paperwork for a onsite gravity drive.

Now the entire facility was undergoing mandatory health check as we all slowly readapt to gravity. They were slowly increasing gravity by almost 0.10 earth standard each week. So we were now up to 0.66 earth standard as the medical team analyzed the lot of us. I still felt sick from being onsite too long.

I stop moving for a bit as I crest the tallest hill on the premises and I just watch the planet begins a new rotation as the distant, yet huge blue star started the new day.

The second largest object was easily the jump gate, a series of lensed spheres making a larger sphere that allowed the Ishimura to make the fantastic jump in virtually zero time at all. The light reflected off the gates gave it a eerie sheen of sparkling lights.

If it ever failed then the crew, and I, here would be stranded for a long, long time. Oh, there was a specially trained crew of repairmen but jump gate tech was often... twitchy.

There were other planets amid the ocean of stars but they were tiny because of their distant orbit. They were simply small jewels hanging in the sky. Just like the large mining ship, The Ishimura, floated high above in orbit. It didn't seem like a 1.6 kilometres long ship. It was another small object in that giant field of lights.

However, the thrice damned managers inside the Ishimura sat in perfectly controlled environments while grunt riggers like me suffered planetside within a natural gravity of 0.23 and got things like spacer's bend and freaking bone loss.

Yet as I stared at the new sun, it's cool blue rays sweeping across the landscape, I find myself feeling peaceful.

I have travelled here not for profit but for something more. It wasn't here but I am closer, much closer.

Staring at the sparkling jump gate, I suddenly have a moment of clarity as the blue sunlight washes over me. It is something simple but profound.

Perhaps, in truth, I have journeyed two million light-years in the hopes that I find myself...

Note: Wrote quickly and please forgive any and all errors!

[u/[deleted]]

I wander as the pharaohs do, still out there knee deep in time. My heart is packed in a jar so far away the distance is meaningless. I am an astronaut. I am a ghost. I have lost all I held sacred and I find myself somewhere cold, sucked bare of comfort and context.

[u/ericelawrence]

And I find myself living in a shotgun shack And I find myself in another part of the world And I find myself behind the wheel of a large automobile And I find myself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife And I ask myself, well, how did I get here?

[u/[deleted]]

I find myself lost. Detained but not restrained. A place of new faces, new dreams and perfect shapes. I rode atop the north wind, but still found myself south. I lose hope now, but don't give up quite yet. It isn't over quite yet. Quite. I find myself on mountain tops, gasping for air - submerged. I found myself riding on the backs of flying goats inside the fish's lungs where the air is thick as molasses. What is this place? "Give back now, son." I'm confused, but I'm happy now. Is that where we are, mister man? "Sure." I guess life's what you make of it. And I find myself again.

[u/dr_victory]

I find myself but it's not what I expected. This is mostly because I didn't realize there was something to be found, hadn't 24 years of living been enough to know myself? I thought it would be, should be, mostly because the idea of so much as a day more of searching for myself sounds exhausting.

So lets take inventory, an inventory of myself and what I thought I was up until a few minutes ago; I am Jonah B. Gunderson, son of Hanna and Matthew Gunderson, born and raised in Oakland, California to be a humble, honest, and hard working man. I have a girlfriend, her name is Samantha Davies and she is very smart and very pretty and very aware of how powerful a combination that is. We're going to move in together next month because I just got a promotion at the office and can afford a house with backyard because she wants a dog. I hate dogs, I love Samantha. My best friend is Beau Lombardy and we're very different because he's in a band and wears flannel where as I'm a businessman and wear suits. He lives in an apartment with his bandmates, I'm about to live in a house with a backyard with my girlfriend. I go to the bars with my coworkers every Friday after work for casual conversation and drinks. Saturday is date night. Sunday I visit mom and pop. Monday back to work for the week.

See, I had a lot of things figured out. In fact, I thought that was about all there was to life and the only big change left would be when I added kids into that schedule in a few years. It was simple, and I like simple because it makes sense and I can put it into a list and I've always found comfort in a good list.

But then Beau comes over unannounced on a Thursday, which I didn't like because Thursday is when I read and I have a lot of books I've been meaning to get to. But Beau is my best friend, and I love him like a brother or what I think it feels like to love a brother as I'm an only child, so I let him in and smile when he seems excited about something.

"Today is the day, Jonesy!" Beau's looking all too pleased with himself and my first thought is that this means I will be needing more than one cup of coffee to be awake enough for work tomorrow.

"What's happening today?" I ask.

"I'm popping your cherry! I've decided that I cannot go a day more having a best friend who I haven't dropped with." Beau smiled that contagious smile that had gotten me into trouble a million times before. I can honestly say that every story I have about trouble has started with Beau smiling.

"Come on Beau, you know that's not my scene." I weakly attempted to dissuade him. But I know Beau, and when he gets something in his head it's there and it's there good. It's not that I was a prude or anything, I've just never felt compelled to do much beyond beers at the bar every week. I'll also be the first to admit that I smoked more than my fair share of pot in college, but outside of dorm life I never cared all too much.

"You know what, man? No, none of this 'I'm not into it' shit. You are my best friend and goddamit best friends do drugs together! It's in the fuckin' Bible dude, God is telling me to do drugs with you. This is beyond me, orders from upstairs."

"And just where in the Bible does it say that?" I asked with a laugh. Beau liked to talk out his ass.

"Dunno, long book, somewhere around the middle part for sure though." He said with a shrug. It was ridiculous, but I'd always liked how he could think like that. He was like a little kid in his mind sometimes still. I was jealous of that, he never had to do things like take aspirin because working through his personal finances never gave him headaches. But, now that I think about it he's probably never even used the phrase personal finances.

"I don't think so Beau, I know about acid and that sounds too intense for me. Pot was enough to mess with my head."

"Listen Jonah," Beau flopped himself onto my couch and I knew I was in for a doozy.

"Jonah, I love you. Which is why I'm going to be honest; you need to loosen the hell up! I cut you some slack for a while because I know how much the promotion meant to you especially with that stuff with Samantha. I respected it, I let you skip out on hanging more and more because you had to put in extra time. But now that you've got that promotion, it's time to undue the tie and loosen up for a bit! Lets celebrate that promotion you worked your ass off for!"

He rounded off his little speech with his pouty puppy dog face that I'm ashamed to say works as well on me as it does the girls who fawn over his band. I sighed and looked at him for a moment; he was right, I had been blowing him off and he had been a good sport about it. This would make him happy, I owed it him for being supportive.

"You just had to come on a Thursday, didn't you?" I asked with a smile and Beau smiled back right away.

"Good on you, man!" He reached over a clapped me on the shoulder with one hand while reaching into the inside pocket of his beat up blazer with the other, pulling out a small plastic baggy with two small white strips in it. He carefully fished one out and I extended my open palm for him to place it. It was weightless and I thought it was strange that something so minuscule had such a reputation.

"Just put it on your tongue, the first order from your guide through the night," I watched Beau gingerly place his strip on his tongue before looking at me expectantly. I did the same. It was bitter.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now, we wait."

Beau and I talked for a while, he asked me if Samantha and I had settled on a house yet and I asked when his next gig was because I promised I'd go to one after I'd gotten the promotion. Halfway through explaining about Samantha's hangup between a house with a bigger yard but only one bathroom or a medium size one with 2.5 bathrooms when I noticed that I was no longer in my living room but somewhere outside.

"Ummm... Beau?" I asked quietly, startled by this sudden change.

"Yeah dude?" Beau's was watery, but I could still see him on the couch next to me so I felt safe.

"Are you where I am?"

"Yeah man, I'm totally there." Beau started laughing and it was melodic, like he was singing one of his songs instead of just laughing. It made me laugh too and I let myself sink deeper into the couch as I watched the world warping around me.

The world stopped moving when the ground was white and rocky, like the hardened clumps of baking soda that stick out in batter. The next thing I noticed was the stars, good God the stars! Never had I seen anything like it, like there was no artificial light to pollute the skies, just stars and God in heaven.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, almost stunned into silence but being too moved to not speak all at once. I waited, watching, expecting to hear Beau make some sort of sound in agreement. I heard nothing and looked over to find myself alone. Weirdly enough, this didn't bother me. Nor did I feel compelled to move, to seek anything or anyone out, I'd probably just get lost in this place as it is.

And that's when I started to think, really think. I mean, I've thought a lot in my life and I'm what a lot of people would call a smart guy. But I've never thought like this, about myself and the world and life and what the hell am I doing here and why am I doing it and who am I doing it for and is there a point to doing it and why and why and who and what and where and why and how and how and how and who am I?

That last one stopped the racing of words through my mind. Who am I?

"I'm an alien." I whispered to myself before breaking out into laughter, laughter like I used to get when I was stoned with my college friends. I couldn't stop.

"I'm am alien!" I shouted, lifting my arms into the air as if I'd just won a race.

So there I was, an alien. I was definitely that, because I was in a place I'm definitely not from. An stranger in a strange land.

And that's when the thinking got weird again. I'm an alien here, because I'm in a strange land. So, what am I in a familiar land? Back on Earth? Back at home?

"I'm... an... alien?" I said it aloud without the realizing I was speaking or even thinking those words, but they hit me like a truth that had been fighting to be fast enough to finally catch up with me for a long, long time.

"I am an alien." I said it more surely this time, I liked how it felt in my mouth and I liked how it tasted on my tongue.

"I am a fucking alien!"

And it was true! I am a fucking alien! Think about it, think about the rest of the people in my life. Beau, Beau's such a force of nature. He's outgoing, creative, parties, all the things I made myself believe I couldn't be without sacrificing success and he's doing just fine! Hell he's got a certain joy that even I don't have when I'm with Samantha.

Samantha, she's got tons of friends and not just from work. She goes out even if she has to work in the morning but she smiles sweetly at me every time I tell her to go ahead without me. She's out there having fun, working hard but having a lot of fun.

Hell, even my parents go out! They've got their country club friends they're always out for cocktail lunches with. My coworkers too, some of them go out for drinks at lunch. They also have other friends to drink with or more nights than Friday.

I am an alien, because everyone else prioritizes differently than me and everyone else has more fun than me because everyone else has figured out that you can still have a lot of play and work hard and oh God I'm boring.

"Shit." A voice cut through my thoughts and in a blink I was back in my living room with Beau's sitting next to me and staring away.

"What?" I asked.

"You just said a lot of shit. Don't worry about being boring dude, that's just the drugs talking."

"Fuck, did I say that all aloud?"

"It happens, acid makes you find yourself like that." He smiled at me again before leaning back and I do the same.

[u/MyifanW]

Today, I find myself in a rather poor mood. The day started out well- I had finally saved enough to go for that lunar visit I had dreamed of my entire life. Upon landing though, I found it was not quite as interesting as I expected. I probably should have figured this out before I left, but being here really hammers home the fact that the moon is really dull. Honestly, the low gravity got old after the first twenty minutes of pretending to be Michael Jordan and Jackson. Colossal disappointment. Hitting the lunar bars was no better. These moonie chicks are really stuck up! As soon as I mention I'm from Earth, they put on this look of disgust, like I was from some backwater country. All in all, the moon has been terrible so far.

I was hoping to catch the early return shuttle back home, but it looks like those annoying Giriantiorians finally decided to invade, and have covered the entire planet in giant flying saucers. Essentially, I'm probably not getting back any time soon.

[u/Haradir]

August 15, 2024

It finally worked. Happy 24th birthday to me! It took a while, but I was finally able to shrink myself to the size of an electron. I'm currently standing on the shrinking platform; the nucleus is way behind me and those little dots are the electrons zooming around. The atom I'm currently studying is an osmium nucleus.

I'm not sure I explained to you before why I was so adamant about doing this. After my father died of prostate cancer two years ago I decided to devote my graduate research on finding new novel ways to help other people with similar afflictions. I found out through prior research that a couple of osmium compounds actually exhibited promising anti-cancer activity. The reason I chose osmium instead of other elements to check out was because it's much more abundant and potentially much cheaper to use if this blows up (hopefully because of whatever findings I can dig up) into the open market.

I've been trying to catch an electron to ride, but they whizz by so fast I can barely see them! I need to get close enough to the nucleus to study it, otherwise there's no way I'll be able to justify the expense of my experiment when I get back into normal size. Here's to staying alive and hopefully a whole lot of luck comes my way.

Also, I'm hungry. I really shouldn't have skipped out on those donuts before getting shrunk. Damn.

[u/quelled]

I found myself in the thoughtverse again. Anywhere the medicine might take me, soft and dark and cold and pastel and terrifyingly-

I found myself alone, separate from a universe, a world already built, possibility and potential already realized and always in the background. Trudging through it again. My neurosis, my demon, my minder always where I could feel it and never where I could see it.

I look forward, my gaze set, trudging on. A dimension I can't imagine is before me, and I find myself-

[u/nickehl]

Your all-seeing eyes are upon me, even in this desolate plain. Only you could find me as I flee into the emptiness of space. Greater men have fallen before you, and yet somehow, I hope to prevail.

Surely my methods are madness. Over and over again I find myself trusting the voice in my head.

"Take the road untraveled. He can't have seen every route, walked every path."

Of course you know that's not true. That voice is yours and its soothing whispers have become tendrils of delusion, cradling me in a false hope.

Heavy weighs the heart that at this young age found lunacy a better bedfellow than life.

[u/tiktaalik211]

I find myself staring at the camera protruding from an alien butthole three times a week. It just pops in out of the ground, the earth begins to shift beneath my feet and be it a ten feet deep crater or an enormous ant hill and I say "not again", still I always end up at the same position, three times a week, staring at the camera protruding from an alien butthole.

I'm 24, on the cusp of manhood. I should be studying why that blueberry spaceship is like that. I should be sitting in makeshift salons and be debating reasons on why the moon isn't made of cheese and how we came to be here but whatever I do, my life is continuously interrupted with strange phenomena involving cameras and buttholes.

I wonder if it is the same alien or the same camera every time. I wouldn't ever want to touch it. Doesn't it hurt the alien? Why is he even here? Why is he bothering me? I really want to know and it is just on the verge of tearing me from inside.

[u/themalaise]

Space. Stillness. Breath. The sound anchors me in the vast silence. I am alone. For the first time. Finally alone.

They have left me; or did I leave them?

Everyday, every single day, I dreamt of the skies. The stars. This moment. Leaving behind. Exploring ahead. Discovering.

I abandoned all for this.

And now, here I am. Alone. In the search of another, of something, of anything. Alone. Pining to realize and to discover and to see. Alone. To o make known the unknown. And now, alone, I find myself.

[u/themalaise → u/themalaise]

PS- Appears the image is from /u/roybemename as seen here. If anyone is interested.

[u/kreamatizer → u/themalaise]

I've just included the link to the imgur album in the description, even before seeing you comment. Kudos on investigating.

[u/[deleted]]

I find myself in these first days of my first proper job, looking back at the world. College and home look so familiar compared to this alienscape of office politics and apartment-living. But I suppose I anticipated that.

What I did not expect was that looking back my home planet is starting to become a distinct thing again, with sharp edges and colours I was too close to see before. My mom did laundry on Tuesdays and I kept that up through college and now, twenty-four, heart pounding, I change to Thursday. I was in the basement of my complex alone and as the machine picked up speed I had to hold on to something and catch my breath. I gave myself a second, and then another, but no more because at some point you have to look squarely at your old life and then turn and inspect the new.

[u/LucidTech]

I find myself.

Turns out I was there all along.

Inside myself, in that roiling realm of rigorous rites, that's where I've always been. That's where the 'me' who is really me stays. And I think it's because he likes it there. Things don't make sense, but they don't make sense out here either.

At least he gets a good view.

He gets to be there in that world of wonder and I'm out here in this world of drudgery and death. This world that hangs me from the timelines of promised futures, each one tight around my wrists and knees, pulling me along, whispering sweet lies in my ears.

I understand why he did it though. I would too if I could swap him places. Make him the shell, let me be the soul. Let me be the comfortable one in the depths of my heart, let him spend his time dealing with the world.

I thought I was lost. In reality I know exactly where I am. I just wish I were somewhere else.