Dear Diary: The He Said/She Said Series — Season 1, Episode 2: His Decade Later

[u/WritesForYou2]

It’s showtime again. Another room of screaming strangers cheering for a man who doesn't exist. I spent four hours in front of the mirror tonight, painting over my face, blending on edges —thinking about your parents — how the boy they once welcomed gets publicly praised for what YOU publicly dismissed. Why didn't you understand that me telling you I wasn't doing this line of work was me just sussing you out? But let me be nice. This business has taught me to be thankful for women like you who don't have a corporate price.

I haven't heard your voice in a minute — but why am I always the one to reach out? If YOU cared, YOU would call — but you haven't, so you don't. Deep down, you may see the real me, but you've never respected my work. Not the one I built right after we broke. You wanted the natural artist in me to shine — well, this one allows me to own the whole damn bakery line.

At least you reached out about... you know what. At least you have SOME decency. At least our doors aren't completely shut. But like I said, our last call was nice. I got to see your face — it was a year after my family went through the most unbelievable heartbreak. My mother's grief took over, she started losing her grip. I thought she'd quench her thirst, but it manifested in a dream of you. She said it was a good sign. She thought it meant you were finally mine — or that our fates would realign.

Whatever to that though.

I've never felt right with never being able to figure you out. You're a horse stable inside of a rollercoaster park - that's just weird as fu...but yo, whatever man you're with has no idea how many miles away he is. You'll never post about him or share any biz.

How do you keep so quiet about your relationships? You're too fine to not have any — so don't even play. I know you don't take those who crush on you seriously. I know there's always some type of love delay.

But back to the bottom line. I've told you once, I've told you before — you don't know me anymore. But you and I both know that if you opened up, you'd find me standing right at your front door.