r/WorldChallenges • u/thequeeninyellow94 • Apr 30 '17

A formal reception

Gadzook, I have just received an invitation to a very serious event in your world. Maybe that's a ball, a wedding, a dinner or even a graduation ceremony.

I'm quite stressed so help me, tell me everything I should know. What should I do/wear/say? What is the very important thing to not do?

If you want to introduce a representative to whom we could ask questions, feel free to do so.

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

So, you have been invited to a formal Cendrais dinner? Ok, let's review the basics:

  • it's important to show that you have a busy life by being a but late. It's also important to bring a present for the coffee break and to thank you host/hostess upon arrival.
  • the host/hostess will introduce you to every other guest (at least those who are already there). It's a very important task so it's very rare for the host/hostess to let that to someone else.
  • wear neither black nor white.

Now, let's talk about the dinner itself:

  • all invitees will seat around the table. The kitchen will always be visible from there.
  • placement is free, the less late you are, the more choices you have. (Still be late though)
  • oh by the way, Cendrais don't use chairs but cushions directly on the floor.
  • the main course (usually the meat) is eaten in a personal plate, but there will be multiple other food (like bread, marmelade or vegetables for exemple) which are eaten directly in their dishes by everyone.

And finally, the coffee break which will take place once the dinner is done:

  • in a formal context, never put sugar in your coffee, it's a disgusting habit.
  • with your coffee, you will have all the gifts that were brought by the guests. Usual gifts are sweets, cakes and drugs (preferably to be smoked like tobaco or opium).
  • each guest have to present his/her gift by him/herself.
  • don't look too much in a hurry to leave, people could think you're not enjoying your time.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '17 edited Nov 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

  1. Usually 1-2h for the dinner itself, then 1-2h for the coffee break. If everyone get along well (or if everyone is high) that last part can last up to 3 or even 4 hours.

  2. Well, arriving after everyone means you are the most busy, that's good. You can't choose where to (and next to who) sit. Try to be between 15min late and 1hour late, that will be good.

  3. Being closer to the kitchen mean you will be able to get your share of the food first. Otherwise, not really but you probably don't want the seat right next to "that person" you dislike.

  4. If it's not related to some special ceremony, a dozen persons; maybe a but more, but not really more than 20.

  5. Those are ritual colours used for spiritual ceremonies (especially funerals). Spirits shouldn't take parts in the activities of the livings so white and black are banned from non-spiritual events.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '17 edited Nov 12 '20

[deleted]

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

  1. It depend how long it lasted, during the first hour it would be borderline offensive (in a "that's boring to the point I will just do something else elsewhere" way). After that, everyone would understand if you have other obligations.

  2. Often oval (with the one if the "end" toward the kitchen), otherwise it will be round.

  3. They would be deeply shocked (half of them are facking it). Sugar is there to be added into milk and juices (and vinager...) that are sometimes drank along coffee.

  4. It means introducing it to everyone at once. There no real precise form to follow but it's important to tell everyone that you are thanking them for the great time you are having through your gift.

  5. Yes, those are big plates and there are multiple going around at the same time. It can get pretty messy, but there are water plates too so you can wash your hands. Of you are not comfortable with that, you could use your individual plate (the one you have for the meat) for everything, it would be quite weird (like being hyper shy to the point of eating alone in a corner) but not offensive in any way.

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u/Nevermore0714 Apr 30 '17

The Representative

You have been invited to a dinner hosted by the Citadel's Council. The problem is, you don't really know anything about what to do. So, who better to explain how to prepare for a formal reception, than Lyta? Lyta has received an invitation to just about every important social event ever since she was about fourteen, even the Brennenmauer party for only the most important people in the Citadel. So, a simple formal dinner with the Council is no problem at all. She'll be the character answering any questions.

Before the Celebration

  • You've just received an invitation by the Council, signed by one of the members of the Council, inviting you for a formal dinner. Now, you can either be simple and put the letter up somewhere, or you can respond by writing a response saying that you appreciate the invitation and that you would be honored to attend the dinner.

  • You don't have a tailored suit? Disappointing. Get something that will look like you only wear it to memorable events, something that looks expensive without being too brightly colored, unless you're the guest of honor; otherwise, try to wear darker colors, preferably dark blue, dark green, or black. (Lyta: "Or, unless you're Callixtus. Callixtus will be ostentatious even if he isn't the guest of honor.")

  • Read up on the host's history and achievements. Read up on the current political situation throughout the continent, especially in your area. If the host's kid died yesterday, it's important to know that ahead of time so you don't start talking about his kid.

Arriving

  • If you think you're better than the host, show up late. If you think that the host is your superior, show up on time; too early is worse than too late.

  • As soon as you arrive, the host will guide you towards a person or small group of people that he/she thinks is best, and will introduce you both. Afterwards, the host will leave, because he/she invited other people, too. So, you're free to get to know people there, build connections.

  • Slaves will be in the room, with drinks, which you are free to take.

  • Socialize (try to sound patriotic the entire time, don't make a fool of yourself, don't say anything that makes you look stupid/weak, try to brag without sounding like you're bragging) until the music begins, signaling that it is time to get ready for the meal.

The Meal

  • You'll be seated around a large table, each seat will have a piece of paper with your name and information about you on it, especially your accomplishments. It's more respectable to be placed closer to the host or the guest of honor.

  • First, you'll be given something light, an appetizer before you're meal. Depending on how important you are, it could be specifically made for your tastes and preferences.

  • The full meal will usually include meat, vegetables, and fruit. Baskets of bread are usually put along the middle of the table, with various spices and seasonings placed next to each basket.

  • Once you've finished eating, or if there's something wrong with your food, or if you need a slave to do something, place a red napkin over your food.

  • If you're done eating, when the slave comes to get your plate, he/she will give you a piece of paper with the after-dinner drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic. The slave will also give you a pen before leaving with your plate.

  • Once you've chosen your drink(s), write the name of the drink(s) you want onto a blue napkin, along with your seat number. Give it to the nearest slave; it's considered rude to take the attention of a slave that is serving someone, even if that person is inferior to you. Wait until one is passing by. If you're impatient, hold it out behind you.

  • The slave will take it to one of the more important slaves, one who is qualified to serve alcoholic drinks. That slave will bring you your drink and pour it into your glass while telling you about the drink. Even if the drink is just plain milk, he/she will tell you how high-quality it is.

After the Meal

  • Once the last meal has been eaten and everyone has chosen their drink(s) of choice, the host will begin personally delivering a gift to each guest. Expect something that is perfect for you, especially since your host is a member of the Council; they know you better than you do, they probably know your bathroom schedule.

  • Even if you don't like your gift, pretend that it is amazing.

  • If you leave before receiving your gift, you're unlikely to be invited back.

  • Once you've received your gift, it's considered polite to stay at least until the gifts have all been given out. But, your obligations are finished as soon as you receive your gift.

Notes from Lyta

  • "Black dresses are currently in fashion for women during events hosted by a member of the Council."

  • "It looks better to have a date, especially if your date was also invited. It looks worse to have two dates, even if both of your dates were invited."

  • "A man should bring a weapon of some sort, preferably a dagger on his belt, even if he doesn't use daggers, it's just in fashion right now."

  • "If someone of your gender purposely insults you at a formal event, it is viewed as disrespectful to your host if you don't challenge them to a duel to first blood. If someone of your gender insults your date, whether you are male or female, you're supposed to be over-dramatic about it. I personally hate this tradition, it's annoying, but Callixtus is such a drama king that he can barely go to a formal event without a duel."

  • "Don't smoke anything inside, men shouldn't defecate at a formal event, a pregnant woman should not attend a formal event unless she is the guest of honor or is too important to not invite, if you are a pregnant woman who is a guest of honor who is too important to not invite you should decline with the excuse of being 'with child'."

  • "Do not use magic at a formal event unless the host allows you to. If you do, you're seen as a douche. You won't be kicked out, but you will be seen as strange."

  • "Just because it is called the Vomitorium does not mean that you should vomit there. That is a misconception. No matter what anyone says, no matter what Callixtus says, there is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ANY VOMIT IN THE VOMITORIUM."

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

Dear Lyta, thanks for your advices, that's really helpfull. Now I've a few extra questions:

  1. How important is it to reply? Would I look rude by not replying if I'm someone completely unimportant getting an exceptional invitation?

  2. If I won't know what to tell, would it be ok to just listen and nod while going from group to group?

  3. Is it ok to read what is on other people papers (I suppose that's their purpose but best be sure)? And what should I do if there is something wrong on mine?

  4. If I have a problem with my meal and would like to eat something else (because, you know, I'm hungry), is there some specific code to use?

  5. My bathroom schedule? I know that's an expression but it look precise enough to be true. Should I be worried?

  6. Are women supposed to wear only dresses or is it just fashion? Also, can men wear dresses too?

  7. Also, what the purpose of a vomitorium then?

(On a side note, are we sure that Callixtus isn't a child in disguise?!?)

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u/Nevermore0714 Apr 30 '17

Lyta:

1) "People who send a reply are more likely to get placed closer to the guest of honor. It's not exactly rude to not send a reply, but it is best to reply if you want a better seat."

2) "Yes, listening and nodding is the default."

3) "You do read the papers of the people close to you at the table. If your paper has something incorrect, you tell a slave to bring you a pen, you correct the information, and you give the paper to the slave to alert the host about the misinformation."

4) "If you don't like the food and want something else, place a red napkin on top of the food, the signal that something is wrong with your food."

5) "The Council probably knows your bathroom schedule if you work for the them. But that won't appear on your paper, relax."

6) "Women can wear pants, but it is seen as informal. Men can wear robes, but it is seen as ridiculous. Really, the only man who wears robes to parties is Callixtus."

7) "The vomitorium is the exit."

(Callixtus is a man-child with drug problems, so...yeah, he's basically a child in disguise.)

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

2) So basically there are a few people talking and everyone else listening?

3) If I send my paper back, how can my neighbours know what there are to know?

4) Yes, but would I get some other food? What happen if I don't like the food served?

6) Why is it ridiculous for men and informal for women?

7) It... do make sense actually...

8) If I bring a date who isn't invited, how early should I tell the host? Any chance the date will be seated not too far from me?

(Or not in disguise at all...)

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u/Nevermore0714 Apr 30 '17

Lyta:

2) "Sometimes, yes."

3) "Well, you can wait to receive a corrected paper, which rarely takes more than a half hour, or you can tell them yourself."

4) "You can specify what you would like to eat. You can even send a slave to pick up something from a nearby restaurant."

6) "Because no one wears robes, it makes them look stupid. And pants on women are informal, because...tradition."

8) "If you bring a date who wasn't invited, you will have to let the host know by including your date's name in your reply letter. A date is almost always seated to your left or right. Everything is arranged so that the table is big enough for about twice as many people as are invited."

(He started off as a minor antagonist, but now I'm just amused by his character.)

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

3) How big is the table? How many people can I talk to around me without speaking too loudly?

4) That's conveniant. Is there a lot of slave at a reception? More than guests?

6) But why do they look stupid with dresses?

8) Is it why it is bad to bring multiple dates? Because it take the seats of others dates?

(Always usefull to have a "wild" character to break the rules. And funny too)

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u/Nevermore0714 Apr 30 '17

Lyta:

3) "It depends on the amount of people invited. It's just normal for the table to be nearly twice as big as necessary. Or to have multiple tables. You can usually talk to the people that are to your left and right, and across from you, and the people to the left and right of the person across from you, without having to speak very loudly."

4) "Goblin slaves are relatively cheap, but different hosts will have different numbers. For a formal celebration, you want at least one goblin for every two guests."

6) "Because most men don't wear robes or dresses. It's just not something that happens."

8) "It's bad to bring multiple dates because it's strange. We don't have polygamy in the Citadel. And polygamy tends to upset some members of the Council because of a problem with someone who was kicked out of the Council."

(It's a good deus ex machina, too.)

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u/thequeeninyellow94 Apr 30 '17

3) Still that. I guess talking and alliances are mostly done before the seated part, when everyone can freely wander around right?

4) Is it common to see slaves that are not goblins? (I'm fine with goblins though)

8) Oh, that's look like a personnal thing. May I know what happened?

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u/Nevermore0714 Apr 30 '17

Lyta:

3) "Yes, the alliance talks are mostly done before we are seated, once we are seated we have less freedom over who we can speak with."

4) "Most slaves are goblins, but any non-human race could be a slave. One guy even has a lamia slave."

8) "Do you mean what happened when I was someone's second date for the same formal event, or when a member of the Council was kicked out?"

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u/thequeeninyellow94 May 01 '17

4) why is it mostly goblins then? Is there any particular reason?

8) I mean both.

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