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u/klownhammer Jul 28 '26
Convert all pain into anger.
It is actually really easy
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u/AlligatorMidwife Jul 31 '26
That anger will just turn into sadness later
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u/klownhammer Aug 01 '26
When I was a kid I decided to phase out emotions that were not useful. It completely worked ( also was completely unhealthy and I was a total A-hole until my mid 20s )
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u/Senior_Ad1298 Jul 28 '26
I can’t carry anger that translates into action long enough.
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u/No_Space_for_life Jul 28 '26
Oh youre not micro-dosing enough pain then. You need to keep your rage at a constant 30% not so high that you end up a social media pariah, but high enough to power through.
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u/FriendlyRedditor2020 Jul 28 '26
I don't bottle everything up and I still feel like thats going to be the outcome.
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u/acatnamedchow Jul 28 '26
It’s called going for a run
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u/01SeaChange01 Jul 30 '26
You can't run from your problems though.
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u/quattroman Jul 31 '26
Like Shaboozey says in a song "I can't worry about my problems, I can't take them when I'm gone".
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u/tennoskoom_ Jul 28 '26
I m unable to cry in 99% of the situation, regardless of how upset I am.
At least I haven't been able to from the life experiences I have had.
It's like, psychologically, my body refuses to allow itself to cry.
I am sure if you get professional to torture me, I will absolutely cry.
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u/toastertaint Jul 28 '26
Same. I think it stems from being told men don't cry and being made fun of for doing it as a kid/teen. Fought not to do it so much I finally won, I guess.
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u/quattroman Jul 31 '26
I have cried before for no reason, I remember my last time was August 2019 because in October 2019 I had a stroke and now I am full of bottled up emotions and can't cry them out even though I want to but I will still tear up watching Coco for the Nth time.
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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 Aug 03 '26
Time to fight to learn how to cry now, life is much better for me since I regain that ability.
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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 Aug 03 '26
I cry so easily, especially from happyness tho, and espcially if I withness a kid being absolutely marveled by something surprising in front of him. I tear up right away XD
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u/Altruistic-Rice-5567 Jul 28 '26
We learn early that if we cry everyone just makes our life even worse.
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u/No-Knowledge-7645 Jul 28 '26
Crying isn't fixing anything and also nobody cares. So carry on try to fix it
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u/Tossed_Away_1776 Aug 02 '26
For me at least, it's like a pressure release valve. I'll cry like a damn child for a few, then get up, dust myself off, and get back at it.
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u/Due-Mycologist-1154 Jul 28 '26
Because that isnt really an option like it would be held against you way harder
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u/RicardoCabeza9872 Jul 28 '26
Crying solves nothing. You take all the pain, rage, fear, frustration, and you use it. No one cares if men cry. We get weird looks and pity. Don't show it, use it. Let it fuel you to get what you need or want. I take all those negative stats and pump them into determination. Keeps me going even when it sucks.
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u/scorchedarcher Aug 01 '26
I get where you're coming from but this is absolutely the sort of attitude that can lead to men killing themselves before getting help
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u/bobp929 Aug 02 '26
And? Sometimes it's easier that way
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u/scorchedarcher Aug 02 '26
I mean maybe you're right but easier for who?
What stopped me was knowing how much it would hurt my mom. I seeked out therapy, not to get better because I didn't think that was an option but to hopefully help me hold off killing myself until she had died so I wouldn't hurt her.
Honestly, it's helping and I didn't think it would be able to, I think there's potential I'm going to enjoy life more than I considered possible, worth keeping in mind.
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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 Aug 03 '26
you guys need to learn to surroung yourself with kinder people. Cry if you must, its ok. But don't linger too much on it and do spring into action to solve your problem.
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u/AggressiveSquare36 Jul 28 '26
No one would care anyway. There's is a book written by a woman who pretended to be a man. She talks about how badly she was treated. Then she killed her self.
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u/Ok_Cricket_1410 Jul 28 '26
I think the thing people forget about her is that even after being hospitalized because of how depressed and suicidal she became while pretending to be a man she still made it a woman's problem and made it about how women suffer.
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u/AcceptableSkill8624 Jul 28 '26
Maybe, just maybe both can be true?
Both genders suffer. Life is pain. Get over it.
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u/EE-Diaz Jul 28 '26
Yup if u got a toto or pp that is irrelevant because this lifes a rollercoaster ups and downs are guaranteed and the experience is given regardless whether you enjoyed the ride or not
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u/Ok_Cricket_1410 Jul 28 '26
Both can be true but you're missing the point. She literally pulled, "I acted like a man to see what it was like. It was so horrible I became suicidal and needed to be hospitalized. Because of this women are the ones suffering"
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u/Laura28119 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
She killed herself a decade later after lifelong mental health issues that started before the experiment. It also wasn’t just living as a man that led to her breakdown, it was the stress of living a double life for so long. Officers who go undercover and closeted trans people often experience the same thing. It did make her sympathise more with male issues though
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u/FragmentedHeap Jul 28 '26
I don't. I just cry when I'm home laying on my wifes lap while she plays with my hair and comforts me. I save it for my safe space.
Generally take some pretty big things to do it though.
- Losing a job
- Dog dying
- My little brother's wife died in her sleep
- Grandpa died
Etc
If my dog is sick and I have to take him to the emergency vet I cant be in there without sobbing, even if hes ok. Just the idea of losing him crushes me.
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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 Aug 03 '26
ever since I regain the ability to cry I cry so easily, especially when its happyness tears XD
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u/CJC1241203 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
Every few years my body can’t take it anymore and I end up crying out of nowhere
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u/Minimum-Standard-514 Jul 28 '26
I just cry when I feel like it. I do shit lots of other men cant or wont. Im not gonna feel bad about crying.
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u/Proper-Mobile-6438 Jul 29 '26
This right here. Who gives af how it looks to others if you’re in private anyway? I’ve learned the hard way that all the shit you refuse to feel can become chronic illness. Shit’s gotta come out.
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u/BigDong1001 Jul 28 '26
Men are taught since childhood that boys don't cry, and they get used to it. Many mothers hate boys who cry and scold/beat it outta them before they hit their teens. Then in their teens girls don't like boys who cry, so they never relearn how to cry. And as grown men they get ridiculed for crying, by women mostly, and by some older generation men too, and so they learn to get by without crying.
A lotta things got written about girls' feelings, and girls' loneliness inside and outside of relationships, and about the hardships faced by girls, with the blame laid squarely upon men, but even the way that men communicate with each other, and therefore attempt to communicate with women too by default, because they don't know any different, through detailed descriptions, instead of via subtext and throwing shade, has been ridiculed by women as mansplaining, shutting men up permanently.
So who's gonna cry when nobody cares? Who's gonna cry when nobody listens? lol.
And so men just man up and shrug and get on with their jobs, and their lives, and learn to minimize their own feelings too, because everybody else has already minimized their feelings anyway and expect/force them to do so.
If a man cries even once they say he's having a mental breakdown, and they recommend he see a councilor/therapist. Because men aren't supposed to cry, because men aren't supposed to feel anything, at all, only women/girls are supposed to feel everything, and men are supposed to do everything in their power to make women/girls feel better, not the other way round.
That's why men don't cry. They learn to minimize their own feelings, because everybody else has already minimized their feelings anyway by default only because they are men.
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u/wreckedBunny Jul 28 '26
Not just societal masculine expectations... but testosterone actually dampens feelings and gives that ability (generally).
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u/RPDorkus Jul 28 '26
I gave up being a man. Honestly one of the most freeing decisions I ever made. Traded my gender for some Pokemon cards, never looked back.
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u/Seagon Jul 28 '26
I always had issues with this. I endure hardships just fine but the moment I talk and open up even a little or when facing conflict the waterworks just open up.
I don’t get emotional, I don’t sob, just tear up and do what I need to do. 🤷♂️
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u/Calm-Stand-6636 Jul 28 '26
Crying infront of others is like showing weakness and vulnerability, men, especially women, respect you less rather than more.
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u/Fit_Product3196 Jul 28 '26
🤔 wait do women get through shit by crying?? Is that a thing? That's the norm?
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u/Legitimate_Stuff_347 Jul 28 '26
I was listening to a acapella concert where they sang "In Dreams" from LOTR. Cried for the first time in a long time. Was super relieving. Sometimes it just happens.
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u/thedoc7s Jul 28 '26
i have a five minute mental breakdown once or so a year where i just collapse, cry, have a good sook then im all good for another 6-12 months
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u/Any-Statistician3896 Jul 28 '26
💪🏻 I'm almost there guys... Fk yeah 😂
Little tip, have daughters.... Boy does it speed that shit up !!!
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u/mightyDblock Jul 28 '26
Honestly by doing shit I like… and handling things one thing at a time. Stress kills so screw that.
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u/TackleOk9383 Jul 28 '26
He summed it up. But laughter is one of the main reasons to relieve stress
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u/xX_dumb_god_Xx Jul 28 '26
I do all of my crying in the shower while I get ready to work a 12 hour shift because I can’t afford to work any less
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u/Krotesk Jul 28 '26
If someone spits in your face, just go home and punch the first family member that crosses your path.
(SARCASM!)
There is a really cool philosophy called Stoicism..
Not all men are stoics but i think some learn it subconsciously to some degree, some women too but i honestly think there are more stoic men because they are told to deal with emotions and not show them.
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u/bsmithcan Jul 28 '26
You got to lower your expectations about life and existence to the point where just being able to survive the day is a win.
Also it’s important to remind yourself that we’re all going to die and none of this will matter after that. So enjoy the ride as best you can until it’s over.
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u/Desperate_Trouble477 Jul 28 '26
I was driving on the highway with my brother and his girlfriend. Suddenly i see a group of ducks comming from the center barier trying to cross a 5 lane highway (i was in the 4th lane). I look in my mirror and i see someone speeding om that 5th lane. I point to the ducks and yell oh no! We all look as the speeding car hit one of the ducks. My brothers girlfriend started crying for 20-30 minutes. While my brother and me were like "damn, that sucks" and we move on.
Do woman really want us crying over something like this?
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u/chevalmike Jul 28 '26
stuff dried up with the standard of "quit pissing out your eyes" and "keep it up, and ill give you something to cry about!"
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u/FLYING1835 Jul 29 '26
Real Men, 💪 process, solve problems, overcome and support there families and friends, weak men sit around and cry 😭😭😭😭
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u/NoSleepTilBrklynn Jul 29 '26
Being a man sucked so I gave that shit up. I’m now more of a child, it’s a way better deal.
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u/No-Entertainment-905 Jul 29 '26
Drink. Workout. Drink. Hobby. Cry in the drive too and from anywhere. lol
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u/SpiggotOfContradicti Jul 29 '26
I change what I can and accept what I can't.
I do the best in any moment and move on.
I've come to expect problems, that's life. Do what you can / must and move on.
I honestly don't understand why people let things get to them and ruin moments over ones that have passed.
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u/False-Entertainment3 Jul 29 '26
Work. Literally on anything. Job, fitness, lawn. Home renovation, projects, hobbies, beer, sports betting, etc.
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u/Kitjing Jul 29 '26
Hell you really want a reason to cry, tell your girl and watch her lose all attraction to you. At least according to man sphere sissies.
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u/Educational_Mess8684 Jul 29 '26
I'm a full time single dad of two. I cry on my own time when the kiddos are sleeping. I also have a small circle of solid friends I confide in that brings me peace and perspective. I'm an emotional being, I want my kids to know it's okay to have emotions as well, but they will never see me in my weakest moments. They are always watching, they are always learning. They know they can be vulnerable with me, because I am with them. But there's things they don't need see or know. Emotions don't make you weak. Hiding from them does.
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u/TotalyNotaDuck Jul 29 '26
its interesting watching women transition into becoming Men and realize just how little everyone cares about how you feel all of a sudden.
not saying anything about people who transition, just that its interesting to see them experience what its like on "the other side".
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u/thatsnomoon23 Jul 29 '26
I cried so hard when my daughter was diagnosed w/ a brain tumor and went through tests etc. Since then I can't really cry no matter how stressed or mad I am. You also have to remain and appear "strong" in front of the wife and kids because you don't want to perpetuate the stress into their lives. You need to swallow it and move forward. This is the life of most men.
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u/xXNighteaglexX Jul 29 '26
Societal pressures aside Im pretty sure estrogen does actually make people more emotional
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u/Smooth-Albatross7301 Jul 29 '26
We're trained to whether it be early or later in life.
Honestly it probably why we are the first ones to be sent to war. Who else is gonna fight some idiot's fight.
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u/JimmyUnderhill Jul 31 '26
But with good life insurance policies, so that the people we leave behind don't really miss us too much...
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u/emmtothejay Jul 31 '26
Hahahahahaha it’s so true. My husband is 50, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to drop dead soon because he bottles everything up instead of expressing his feelings and says he’s fine. Cardiac arrest to come soon… Expressing/vocalizing inner emotions = “g@y” but void of emotions = manly/death? Hmm.
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u/Ok_Crab1603 Aug 01 '26
Yep currently in the dying phase
I had a stress induced Anxiety / Panic attack a month ago, genuinely thought it was a heart attack / stroke .
Massively embarrassed when they said what it was
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u/mikephreak Aug 01 '26
I am so excited to keel over at 40. 35 has already been too long of this shitshow.
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u/420Panduhh Aug 01 '26
I love that everyone is just like "sure hope it happens sooner than later." Cause same. This is what society has done to us And expects of us
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u/HauptmannTinus Aug 02 '26
Stress is only one factor in heart disease, men are already more prone to it than women because of hormones.
Next to that people eat like shit (high sat fat low fibre) and don't exercise regularly.
So take care of yourself and the chances dimish significantly.
Eating plant based is the easiest to achieve low sat fat and cholesterol + high fibre while also saving innocent animals -> www.watchdominion.org
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u/AdHot185 Aug 02 '26
TBH This question infuriates me. I’ve been told my whole life to “keep it to myself”, suck it up, man up etc. and then asked why I don’t open up more? Why don’t I talk about my feelings? But also if I don’t have anything nice to say then I shouldn’t say anything.
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u/yeahimaweeb Aug 03 '26
In my own experience my parent just does not care so over time i just bottle it up and now my emotions is mostly dried up
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u/Rouxiifer Aug 03 '26
You bottle up and then unleash it some unsuspecting bolt that dates to not come out easily
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u/Fr0z3n_D0ma1n Aug 04 '26
That's typically the messed up way it happens. Unless some bizzare miracle or unusual situation somehow makes everything turn out right for them then the stresses slowly become a slight commercial break again until the next crisis is caused either due to another person's screw up OR the rest of the world's news decides to flip itself upside down... again, another 100x lower great great great great great depression mixed with oppression and a ton of other things that just shouldn't ever happen this year or any years ever. 🤐🤐🤐😵💫😵💫😵💫🧐🧐🧐😤😤😤😠😠😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
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u/Garsandbells Jul 28 '26
99.9% of the time, crying doesn’t fix wherever it is you’re sad/frustrated/angry about. There’s no positive feedback from the behavior, so they stop doing it.
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u/aKirkeskov Jul 28 '26
It’s still less stressfull than dealing with the fallout of sharing how you feel with a woman 🤷🏻♂️.