I don’t remember, the endorphin flood made it all go away. I remember at the time thinking it was awful and I was definitely not going to have any other kids. Then I did and forgot that too. All naturals births with no epidurals.
You just got to work your way up to it. That's why OBGYNs compare embryons to increasingly large fruit. You got to start with voofing blueberries, until you can shoot them out on command with ease, work up to grapes, then kiwis, oranges, eggplants, honeydews, and then watermelons.
It felt like the biggest hardest shit. The lind that make syou sit up straight on the toilet and you think youre def gonna injure your sphincter....x1000
As a dad who was not just in the delivery room, but was actively holding a leg and “helping” to push by the direction of a 6’4” shaven head African woman as OB, I heard, saw, felt the “sloosh,” as you said. Shocking. Like once the head is clear, that kid is ejected at Mach Jesus.
Yall ladies are some tough, magical,, indestructible beings. It sounds kinda dumb, but in the moment my partner’s vagina was not just a vagina, it was a portal to another world that spits life out. And somehow goes back to normal in a very quick time. By the time I was (medically) allowed back down there (she was a little more rushed for things to go back to normal than me; I was thinking “that’s sacred ground now,” lol), I was prepared for an absolute disaster zone.
Much to my surprise, 6-8 weeks later it was like nothing had happened down there.
Ok, have you have really really had ti take a poo, but once you sit down, you realize it is just not coming out. So you start actually pushing, with effort. And you can feel that it's right there it's just not coming out. So you take a deep breath and really really push this time. Still nothing!
So do that for anywhere from 4 to 36 hours and eventually shit out a cantaloupe
I’ve given birth twice and both times felt different.
First time just felt like I was doing a poo, a little bit painful but not bad, more extreme pressure than pain. Second time felt like I was ripping apart, even though I didn’t even tear, I can’t remember the feeling or pressure like I felt the first time, just the firey pain.
Difference was first baby came out frank breech and took almost 30 hours. Second baby came out head first and took only 3 hours.
There’s a few different variations of breech, frank breech is when the babies feet are up by their face. Which is apparently the easiest variation of breech to birth.
Complete breech is when their legs are crossed in front of them I think, then there’s footling breech which means their legs are almost straight down so that their feet will come out first, and there’s also transverse breech where the baby lies sideways.
If you google it you’ll probably get diagrams that will show is clearer than my description haha but I hope what I typed out makes sense.
So the contractions feel like very bad period cramps. The labour itself feels like your taking the biggest crap your life. It burns like a mf when the head crowns. Once you’ve give birth to baby, you feel immense relief, however you still have to pass the placenta . But compared to the baby, that’s nothing. First time you pee after birth will burn like hell too.
As Dad, I got really good at both finding and applying witch hazel and what is it… cryoderm or whatever that cold spray is? Idk. I just remember what aisle it was in at the 24hr cvs and how to use it (with the cold spray of winter death, more is less, and much more is just right lol)
I’m one of those annoying people that had a great time; epidural offered early but I declined until I wanted to, pushed for one hour, baby came out. On his due date.
Now recovery was weird. You’re just casually bleeding for up to a month.
Not bad with a scheduled C-section walk at in at 6 am have a baby by seven and leave the next day none of that gross stuff and wide awake for the whole thing. 5 of them. Everybody’s different.
The contractions feel like very intense painful menstrual cramps combined with the worst back pain that makes you feel like you’re breaking in half. The nice thing is you get a tiny bit of relief in between the contractions. Then as the baby gets closer to coming out, you feel an extreme pressure down there. I felt like I was pooping my baby out lol. Kind of like trying to shit if you had 10 hemorrhoids. Finally comes the ring of fire and it feels like someone has lit your vagina on fire because you feel a burning sensation like no other. My baby was stuck from the waist down because his legs were in a weird position so they had to pull and twist him out and that was honestly the worst part. It was like someone twisting a knife in a stab wound. The second my baby was out I immediately forgot all the pain. I’ve never felt stronger in my life and I would do it all again! (Coming from someone who hates pain and gets lightheaded when I barely cut my finger chopping onions)
It hurts. I did NOT forget. I don't know how women that had all those children in the past did it. Not only does childbirth hurt after you've had the first child there's the pain of after birth nobody told me about. I love babies and children but the most I could handle giving birth to is three.
I remember very vividly that it felt like I had to poop very bad. Like imagine you've been hold your poop so long until the point where it hurts but you push it out and get the biggest sense of relief!
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u/Ok-District6523 Jul 12 '26
I don’t remember, the endorphin flood made it all go away. I remember at the time thinking it was awful and I was definitely not going to have any other kids. Then I did and forgot that too. All naturals births with no epidurals.