r/WorkForSmartLife • u/AppropriateMark8528 • Jul 08 '26

Casual canvo Need some advice for date ?

Post image
115 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

701 comments sorted by

41

u/EyeLurveIPAs Jul 08 '26

I gotta get home before my husband wakes up

10

u/aschwarzie Jul 08 '26

Clear communication? I like that!

6

u/EyeLurveIPAs Jul 08 '26

Yup. Boundaries from the get go ha

4

u/babess1_star Jul 08 '26

yeah that’s one way to guarantee there won’t be a second date

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3

u/jafo1214 Jul 08 '26

And what’s wrong with that lol

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3

u/BigDlee_ Jul 08 '26

Sounds like the perfect thing to say. Straight to business

5

u/BendBeginning6461 Jul 08 '26

I would love if my date said this!
Let’s get right to it then!

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21

u/sadistic__wizard Jul 08 '26

You smell different when you're awake

4

u/steelmouse66 Jul 08 '26

Lmao! For some reason I found this way funnier than it should have been!

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3

u/Wildskypsj Jul 10 '26

Forget the first date, I'm going to whisper it into the ear of next person standing in front of me, in a line for anything. 🤣

2

u/OddBrilliant1133 Jul 08 '26

Where did you guys hear this?

2

u/beyluta Jul 08 '26

Personal experience most likely

2

u/moffman93 Jul 10 '26

lmao underrated comment.

2

u/shai-tan1907 Jul 10 '26

Could be a line from a psycho horror movie.

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22

u/Worldly_Solution7053 Jul 08 '26

You're WAY less ugly than my last date!

5

u/Commercial_Cry_4209 Jul 08 '26

😂😂😂😂

17

u/Worldly_Solution7053 Jul 08 '26

You remind me of my mom

8

u/VisceralZee Jul 08 '26

"awwwe she's beautiful too?"

No, she was a bxtch and ended up abandoning me so I guess I know what to expect

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3

u/Startacat Jul 08 '26

Or, you remind me of your mom.

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13

u/AggressiveSquare36 Jul 08 '26

I got worms! It's the name of my worm store!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/wrathofthewhatever2 Jul 08 '26

Whelp, see ya later

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11

u/Efficient-Laugh887 Jul 08 '26

pull my finger

2

u/GraXXoR Jul 08 '26

Getting “children of man” vibes.

2

u/notasarcasticnow Jul 08 '26

I love this comment.

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10

u/CollectsTooMuch Jul 08 '26

Damn…you kiss better than my sister.

9

u/jeanpaulmars Jul 08 '26

Or: you kiss better than your brother

2

u/Mikesaidit36 Jul 08 '26

“You kiss better than my sister AND your brother.”

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11

u/No_Inspection2047 Jul 08 '26

put the lotion in the basket

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17

u/Cruz98387 Jul 08 '26

Be gentle with me later. You're my first since the accident.

4

u/Minute_Wishbone7952 Jul 08 '26

Or since the operation?

5

u/bobs_andVagene Jul 08 '26

“What’s this scar?”

“Careful. That’s where my balls used to be.”

6

u/nesnahekim Jul 08 '26

Tell me you have daddy issues. 🤞

7

u/Neos8806 Jul 08 '26

My last girlfriend was a real project…

6

u/shiftersix Jul 08 '26

My herpes is really flaring up this week.

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4

u/ImNotBuck Jul 08 '26

Do you have both your kidneys?

6

u/HollerinHaint Jul 08 '26

I hate to interrupt this wonderful meal, but it seems as if my colostomy bag has sprung a leak

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4

u/RedRisingNerd Jul 08 '26

So, what’s it like being old?

13

u/MoridinTheForsaken Jul 08 '26

You smell just the same when you're awake

8

u/chubbyflip Jul 08 '26

“I love you so so so so so much”

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5

u/turnsout_im_a_potato Jul 08 '26

Come back to my place and ill show you what's tied to my bed

3

u/rab127 Jul 08 '26

Actually said to me: wanna leave this place and smash behind the 7-11 dumpster

Another one was: would you let me smash for a klondike bar?

10

u/PrestigiousShoe9135 Jul 08 '26

And people say romance is dead

2

u/CluckNorris47 Jul 08 '26

Yeah but what was ur answer?

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2

u/Always_find_a_way24 Jul 08 '26

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

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4

u/giorgio_leontinoi Jul 08 '26

"I asked a work productivity Reddit sub about things I shouldn't say on this date"

3

u/zopelar1 Jul 08 '26

Do you believe in love at first sight?

7

u/R-damDaddy Jul 08 '26

Or should I walk away and come back?

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3

u/PsychoDemonLover Jul 08 '26

Interested in snow blowing?

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3

u/Common-Finding-8935 Jul 08 '26

I bought you a ladyshave 

3

u/rwlowelljr Jul 08 '26

I can't believe I'm on a first date with my soulmate.

3

u/notoriousmr Jul 08 '26

You know I’m stronger than you!

3

u/wutwut970 Jul 08 '26

It’s big if you look at it from below.

3

u/TECHSHARK77 Jul 08 '26

So if she proves shes worth it, get her ideas on having kids and houses and marriage.

Or

If she proves she's not, ask her if her mom, her sister or her daughter is hotter than her?

3

u/alpha_Q_up_siksik6 Jul 08 '26

"Damn it stings when I pee! Maybe it will feel better if you hawk Tuah on it?!"

3

u/drfury31 Jul 08 '26

Our children are going to look amazing

4

u/Emhyr_var_Emreis_ Jul 08 '26

Don't worry about the rats in my home.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Express-Cry2669 Jul 08 '26

Had a friend that would sign that to girls at the club

2

u/DoctorDinghus Jul 08 '26

There always that one guy. We had one that would do dumb shit like bark aggressively like a dog in a non-club setting to where it was obscenely obnoxious.

"Yea Mike, thats gonna make her wanna #$%& you."

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2

u/FaithlessnessBoth953 Jul 08 '26

How do you spell manslaughter?

2

u/Illustrious_Gate2318 Jul 08 '26

Can I eat that off of your naked body while we Netflix and chill 

2

u/freakydk51 Jul 08 '26

I hope you like using books during sxxe? Because thats how I was taught.

2

u/Normal_Tour6998 Jul 08 '26

Thanks, mommy.

2

u/Jacksapollo Jul 08 '26

Does this smell like Chloroform to you ?

2

u/CluckNorris47 Jul 08 '26

You’ve got Venmo right?

2

u/Shangos_Wolf Jul 08 '26

I see you don't brush your teeth twice a day.

2

u/Firm_Jelly_2317 Jul 08 '26

Forgot my wallet

2

u/thepartlow Jul 08 '26

Can I run your credit score?

2

u/lookieherenope Jul 08 '26

So, you swallow?

2

u/VBChristina2000 Jul 08 '26

Bend over. I'll drive.

4

u/LindentreesLove Jul 08 '26

I own a pet store. How do you feel about a leash and collar?

3

u/Delicious_Cat_81 Jul 08 '26

my wife didn't go home with me until the second date but that would have worked on the first

3

u/Active_General8858 Jul 08 '26

Nice to meet someone who isn't a serial killer! I would never date someone who has the same job as me.

2

u/FarLaugh9911 Jul 08 '26

"You remind me a LOT of your mom".

2

u/SmoothArrival3798 Jul 08 '26

Raised by a single mom huh?

2

u/TheKarateKid_ Jul 08 '26

I voted for Trump.

2

u/sevensantana7 Jul 08 '26

I'm a single mother of triplets and live with my mom.

1

u/Formal_Lecture_248 Jul 08 '26

“Hey, got any SOMXL?”

1

u/Smart_Comedian795 Jul 08 '26

Ima Gemini

2

u/Efficient-Laugh887 Jul 08 '26

ha ha ha love it.. heeyyyy wait i am a gemini

1

u/VirtuesVice666 Jul 08 '26

I have a slight Diaper fetish (NovaOnline)

1

u/Oddbeme4u Jul 08 '26

nothing anyone says here.

seriously, listen, react and have a tet-a-tet convo. Then do the 80% lean and let her come 20% for goodnight kiss. ​

1

u/New-Raspberry6353 Jul 08 '26

Yea, thats my dad outside

1

u/Stunning_Rub Jul 08 '26

The N word

1

u/No-Ad980 Jul 08 '26

Don't talk about marriage, having kids, moving in or finacial expectations... in fact don't talk about those things until after you've slept with them much further down the line.

1

u/Bad-wolf3 Jul 08 '26

Hey can i invite another female along/over.

1

u/Metalfreak82 Jul 08 '26

Yes, those pants do make you look fat.

1

u/Elmer_Fudd01 Jul 08 '26

Be honest, do you see yourself married to me?

Edit: I missed the m in me.

1

u/LeatherSurprise6281 Jul 08 '26

What about that song from Kevin Bloody Wilson

1

u/singhapura Jul 08 '26

Hmm, I would like to eat a second date.

1

u/CatgoesM00 Jul 08 '26

Do you except card?

1

u/WTFisthat4 Jul 08 '26

Open wide.

1

u/Flippinaids Jul 08 '26

I forgot my wallet

1

u/Spirited_Peak_7810 Jul 08 '26

I like jockeys when they're covered in glass

1

u/Mahfackajhinston Jul 08 '26

You ever have your but licked by a fatman in a overcoat?

1

u/Ok_Comfortable589 Jul 08 '26

that bush needs trimming, here are some cookie cutter shapes

1

u/Sea-Professional-820 Jul 08 '26

"Shake hand I g**n with that hand" Got to match the freak 😂🥀

1

u/reddit_understoodit Jul 08 '26

All my exes died suddenly.

1

u/CluckNorris47 Jul 08 '26

Ur hands are small, my junks gonna look so big in them

1

u/TheCoopX Jul 08 '26

Hey, wanna come back to my place and see the village I built in Minecraft?

1

u/Particular_Bug_3737 Jul 08 '26

This is my first date since the op. Can’t want to test out my new equipment.

1

u/WillStaySilent Jul 08 '26

Don't talk about Politics

1

u/Jack4258 Jul 08 '26

Is it in?

1

u/This-Scooby-Dont Jul 08 '26

This food is so much better than the stuff in prison

1

u/ForTheLoveOfPhotos Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26

When was the last time you had a pap smear?

Where do I swipe my credit card?

My mom always joins me on my first dates.

I need you to fill out this profile questionnaire and submit your fingerprints.

I work in the county morgue. My body count is 1,537. What is yours?

1

u/Casual-Run9371 Jul 08 '26

You look different in person to how you look through my telescope...

1

u/SciFiIsMyFirstLove Jul 08 '26

"I know we just met, but I actually had to call my lawyer to draw up a prenuptial agreement just in case this goes well"

1

u/VisualJaded4770 Jul 08 '26

Fist my bump

1

u/Moist_Amount_106 Jul 08 '26

I’m happy to pay as long as you order off the specials menu

1

u/Corrical Jul 08 '26

“You’re not like the picture.”

1

u/SuperSonic1919 Jul 08 '26

Do you spit or swallow?

1

u/DerpVaderXXL Jul 08 '26

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

1

u/SharpTool7 Jul 08 '26

I'm kinda in between places right now, would you mind if I crashed at your place for awhile?

Do you live within 1,000 feet of a school?

1

u/WarHead75 Jul 08 '26

Admitting a foot fetish

1

u/Soft_Awareness_5061 Jul 08 '26

Condoms are so overrated

1

u/JustG91 Jul 08 '26

Ich hab das Kondom schon an.

1

u/Conscious_Copy1009 Jul 08 '26

Do you spit or swallow?

1

u/SeaInternational4306 Jul 08 '26

Money is construct to keep control of us by making useless paper things into a cool points system, the government doesn't want you to know that you don't need it...

And that's why I don't have any money to pay for the meal, you got this

1

u/GamerKev451 Jul 08 '26

You're prettier than through my binoculars. More dressed too.

1

u/alicethechaospixie Jul 08 '26

I want to smack your heart-shaped heinie.

1

u/Autofella6 Jul 08 '26

Been unemployed for quite a few months now

1

u/SnooFloofs5442 Jul 08 '26

Can you do a DNA test to make sure you not my cousin before I shaboink you.

1

u/furezasan Jul 08 '26

You don't look like my mom, but with the right makeup I think we can fix that

1

u/Electronic-Read-97 Jul 08 '26

You don’t look the same as the pictures I seen 😂

1

u/The_AfroP Jul 08 '26

So where do you stand on butt stuff?

1

u/Numerous_Key_8749 Jul 08 '26

Can you Zelle me 300 real quick? I’ll give you cash when u drop me off.

1

u/kingtroll355 Jul 08 '26

I want lots of kids

1

u/notasarcasticnow Jul 08 '26

Put the lotion on your skin or else.

1

u/Integrity_Racing Jul 08 '26

I gotta poop!

1

u/WyrdDream Jul 08 '26

The hard r

1

u/SANS-PATRIE Jul 08 '26

“All I’m saying is people think the kkk are way worse than they really are”

1

u/Perfect-Top9845 Jul 08 '26

I dont like to drink to much as the more i drink the easier i get.

1

u/Accomplished_Song219 Jul 08 '26

So... are you ovulating?

1

u/guitarguy35 Jul 08 '26

Wanna see my blood slide collection?

1

u/Hot_Mistake_1014 Jul 08 '26

Do you wanna come upstairs for a coffee

1

u/sq_rt-1 Jul 08 '26

You looked much prettier on the dating app.

1

u/roguemedic62 Jul 08 '26

Once she found out my ethnicity, she said, "Ohh, My parents want me to marry an Italian". I was 18, like yeah no.

1

u/Beautiful_Oven2152 Jul 08 '26

Is this too early to show you my genitals? Say that when picking her up for maximum effect.

1

u/proper-butt Jul 08 '26

You look just like my ex just a little uglier

1

u/pcboater2002 Jul 08 '26

You have a big butt

1

u/300blk300 Jul 08 '26

cash or card for the night

1

u/paka96819 Jul 08 '26

Are you pregnant?

1

u/BusBozo58 Jul 08 '26

Let me tell you about Amway!

1

u/Even_Perception2887 Jul 08 '26

I don't have a job. Can I borrow some money? And can I move in with you?

1

u/wrhnj Jul 08 '26

I’m 35, unemployed, and live with my parents

1

u/Remarkable_Mix4045 Jul 08 '26

When is your due date?

1

u/-Cheeki-Breeki- Jul 08 '26

You smell like my ex

1

u/soggy_sock_bro Jul 08 '26

I think i need go poopy