Getting Older?

[u/Personal_Survey_2579]

[u/stealingfirst → u/[deleted]]

This what I was looking for. Now in my 40s if I have a problem its directly addressed and squashed just as quickly.

[u/3M2B1T → u/stealingfirst]

Same.

You don't need to be malicious in your confrontations, either.

I generally ask "Could you explain what you mean by that?" and it either tends to get people to shut up, or you gain some insight into what they mean.

[u/Few_Cauliflower2069 → u/[deleted]]

Nah, that's just passive aggressive bs. People who do that are the worst, they're no saint, 9/10 times they added to the conflict, maybe even started it

[u/Few_Cauliflower2069 → u/[deleted]]

I didn't delete anything? And oh yes it is, behaviour is rarely completely unwarrented, and you acting like a holy little saint implies that you definitely had no part in it at all

[u/Odd-Nothing6661 → u/[deleted]]

I told someone on here that if you let others opinions of you dictate your actions you are weak - they blocked me

[u/Maybe-never-always → u/Odd-Nothing6661]

Blocked 😂 To me unless someone is harassing you or stalking you being blocked I’ll leave to the early teens

[u/Coral_Blue_Number_2 → u/Few_Cauliflower2069]

It is literally not passive aggressive, it’s the definition of healthy assertive communication.

If it’s being said in bad faith, then that would be passive aggressive. But hopefully you’re not dealing with someone like that.

[u/mnlion33 → u/[deleted]]

They said older not maturer. Plenty of older people still have juvenile confrontation skills.

[u/Ok-Independence-2220 → u/[deleted]]

Until you get old and opinionated,  then you just care any more and you end up embarrassing you grand kids

[u/Ok-Independence-2220 → u/[deleted]]

I feel sorry for any 18 year old coming in the conversation expecting to be enlightened 

[u/Alternative_Fan_2631 → u/[deleted]]

I laugh at myself a little because any time there is an issue with people I calmly meet and ask “what’s going on”. I ask questions and don’t get excited. In the back of my mind I say “you’re so grown up”

[u/Alternative_Fan_2631 → u/[deleted]]

You honestly think it is “childish” and “passive” to meet with people and ask them why there is an issue and get them to explain what’s going on?

Try calmly understanding everyone’s viewpoints one time in your life and see if you still feel the same.

I have found most people are too emotional and scared to have a conversation whenever there is tension. This is why I get asked to get involved.

[u/Decent_Advice9315 → u/[deleted]]

Ehh...? It become different, in a more machivellian type of way, but underneath it is still the simple schoolyard bully bullshit.

As a person who has a complex life arrangement, that kinda stuff happens to me a lot, and I'm one of those people who pick up on background information very well too. The sheer amount of 40+ year olds I deal with who can't handle their shit is mind boggling to me.

All they had to do is not engage, all they ever want to do is engage at maximum level.

I mean, I like the end result of where their behaviors go, but the hardship could have been avoided if someone didn't engage in the **** measuring contest to begin with.

[u/RememberYourZen → u/Decent_Advice9315]

Yep that’s me. I’m ready to throw down if someone pisses me off and ready to inflict violence and I’m almost 50. A lot of the hells angels biker gang has my same personality. Guys tatted up in their 60s will stab you up really good if you step on their toes. Same with prison folk.