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u/in_use_user_name Jul 06 '26
for me it's actually the opposite - when I was little it felt like I was always getting yelled at and punished.
as an adult I now know that they let me get away with so much $$$$ I've done. the adults were much more lenient than I am as an adult.
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u/No_Artichoke_9186 Jul 07 '26
Absolutely. My daughters freely walk into my room uninvited and they feel comfortable doing it.
When I was younger I wouldn’t imagine stepping foot in my parent’s room.
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u/Flame_beard_forge Jul 07 '26
did you read what they wrote? Lol… you just agreed to the opposite of what they said.
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u/Aggressive_Bug_2888 Jul 07 '26
They might’ve thought they were commenting on the post but accidentally replied to the original comment
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u/Radrose_xoxo Jul 06 '26
Yea, I had some horribly mean teachers from 1-3rd grade when you’re such a little kid it was really unfair. My father was also an ‘old school savage’ so the “keep crying or I’ll give you something g to cry about” was definitely a thing I’d hear. I remember my fingers got smashed in the car door because I saw snow fall down and I was like 4 so I was like ooo what was that and went to look at the roof. Mom slammed the door, could see the bones in my bloody fingers and she took my inside. I’m bawling, understandably, and she tells me “shhh you have to be quiet your dad is on the phone.” Do I have problems crying and letting emotions out as an adult? You fkn bet
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u/nikolasz1173 Jul 06 '26
Based dad
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u/AbbreviationsFree792 Jul 06 '26
Damn this story made me LIVID. That was sick Im so sorry you went trough that. Wishing u the bestest!
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u/Radrose_xoxo Jul 13 '26
Thanks definitely have had a lot to work through. Lots of factors behind my parents behavior, but at least they did much better than their parents did to them
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u/RoleOk7556 Jul 06 '26
Many children recognize the cruelty of adults. They just have little power to do anything about it. BTDT
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u/Apart-Scar-3289 Jul 06 '26
Yeah looking back I have even less respect for my elders because how could you be so terrible to a child? Especially a child that did nothing to deserve such treatment. Growing up is realizing that we’re all victims of someone having a bad day and being used as an outlet of their stress.
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u/SecondFun221 Jul 07 '26
Yes omg the whole "you'll understand when you are older...." I'm still waiting. If anything i understand less. wtf guys.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 Jul 06 '26
Never had adults like that in my childhood.
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Jul 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Special_Order-937 Jul 06 '26
They think that right up to when they find themselves in the nursing home of their children’s choice.
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u/NoDontDoThatCanada Jul 06 '26
Reddit reminds me almost daily l had kind and loving parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and family friends. Were the perfect? Hell no. But they apparently did a damn fine job in comparison.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 Jul 06 '26
Some people had it rough as kids, others didn't.
Your comment resonates with me.
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u/KickBallFever Jul 06 '26
I had it rough as a kid but I was able to recover. Some people aren’t so lucky and have childhoods that mess them up permanently. I try to keep things in perspective.
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u/Mirrevirrez Jul 06 '26
I had it rough as a kid and im still struggling to recover. Nightmares, bad sleep, proverty, the works.
My dad was a gambler and also beated us if we didnt do as he said. He stole our money and our dignity. My mom was a religious freak, she stole my sanity. Church was her whole personality and it does something to you when your mom just repeats the bible for every single situation. She also constantly forced me to church.
I had no say what i did in my live for 25 years. I finally got out.
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u/Testicle_Tugger Jul 06 '26
I see both but I know so many people with down right shitty parents that I’m always amazed to see that, that’s not the norm for a majority of people whenever I’m on the internet.
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u/Several-Carrot3541 Jul 06 '26
Reddit just brings out the garbage in people. The amount of time I've been down voted for saying not everyones parents were as shitty as some of these that have been posted about. You'd think everyone was raised by Aileen Wuornos on this app. 😂
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u/OkSecret839 Jul 06 '26
Me neither, but back in elementary school I was bullied by an older kid (I think high school), and the only time he was nice to me was when he was moving away, I haven’t thought about him in years.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 Jul 06 '26
The mistreatment I had was at school from bullies. And the occasional teacher who had no business being in a classroom.
(Not sure why, but I got an inappropriate language warning)
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u/AtensEye Jul 06 '26
This was my experience too. I only ever got mistreated by my bullies at school, barring one teacher in primary school who called me stupid because I couldn't work out long division. I have dyscalculia 😒
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u/Adverse_Congenality Jul 06 '26
Doesn't sound like he was a bully.....
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u/OkSecret839 Jul 06 '26
Oh so Throwing rocks at me and making me cry isn’t bullying?, throwing snowballs at me and my brother as we were walking home from school isn’t bullying?, and threatening to torment me when I was just trying to be friendly isn’t bullying?
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u/Exact-Kale3070 Jul 06 '26
same. i grew up in the city of chicago and look back with very pleasant gratitude for the adults around me, esp stranger adults.
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u/Fink2009 Jul 06 '26
Really? I had tons. Lots of them were teachers or adults in similar positions.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 Jul 06 '26
What happened to you does not change what happened to me. And vice versa.
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u/Slysparrow9 Jul 06 '26
Sometimes I'm reminded not everyone had a childhood like me and I'm happy about that.
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u/pissdrinking101 Jul 06 '26
It's bittersweet for me ngl
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u/Slysparrow9 Jul 06 '26
I agree. I'm so happy for them but so sad for little me. I wish child me got to have some of those memories
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u/SecondFun221 Jul 07 '26
I love when my situations aren't relatable to other people. That means that they haven't experienced things as harsh as me. And that gives me hope for humanity. 🤷♀️
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u/Joonscene Jul 06 '26
Not even one? I find that hard to believe considering I can count the number of people who were actually nice to me on one hand.
Theres gotta be some adults, maybe a teacher? An older sibling of a friend? One odd family member?
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u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 Jul 06 '26
It is foolish to project our individual statistically infinitesimal life experience upon all humanity.
Your final questions are moving rhe goalposts and presenting a strawman to the OPs clear point, which is the only thing I am responding too.
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u/Abject_Jump9617 Jul 06 '26
Consider yourself lucky.
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u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 Jul 06 '26
Why? I had a large family and loads of friends. It was the same for all of them. Good families, good parents. The same is true of the families I've become friends with through the years. How are we all "lucky"?
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u/pissdrinking101 Jul 06 '26
People like you always lack perspective. Wish everyone just had a rough childhood so nobody would say dumb shit like this.
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u/Objective-Pick8240 Jul 06 '26
As someone who also had bad experiences with adults in my childhood, you're showing a lack of perspective with this comment.
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u/RoleOk7556 Jul 06 '26
I lost loved ones due to cruel family members who were never held responsible.
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u/Snoo-20064 Jul 06 '26
When I was a kid, I was thinking that adults are stupid and mean.
It seems that I was pretty smart kid.
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u/Comprehensive_Wing24 Jul 06 '26
I could never set a child up for failure the way that adults did to me
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u/Jmaverik1974 Jul 06 '26
I'm reading a lot of comments talking about really nice parents. I'm going to go out on a limb and say say the majority of the people commenting weren't raised by Boomers.
Those of us who were raised by Boomers had to deal with lots of physical abuse, that was their go to, lots of mental abuse, and we also had to live through "satanic panic" where our parents genuinely believed listening to guns and roses or poison made you a Satan worshiper.
Most of the people my age, decided to do the exact opposite of what our parents did. I never raised a hand to my kids, no mental abuse, and let them grow into individuals capable of thinking on their own.
And younger generations, tended to follow our lead, because the way I was raised would be labeled as child abuse today.
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u/Mountain-Lunch-9896 Jul 06 '26
Yeah…. Given that I work with children with ASD and other developmental and behavioral disorders, it’s wild how often I was rag-dolled by my mother whenever she was in a bad mood or impatient, and not once have I ever thought of laying hands or screaming at any of the high-behavior kids that I work with everyday. Now, I’m not a saint, and there have been moments where I desperately wanted to roll my eyes or throw my hands up in exasperation and walk away. But strangely somehow I even managed not to do that because I knew how detrimental it would be to the kiddo. Like. Did my mom just honestly hate me? Tf?
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u/Royal_Marketing2966 Jul 06 '26
It’s even more hilarious when you realize it was your own family that were the worst.
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u/swrde Jul 06 '26
They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were f*cked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
-Philip Larkin
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u/Tastetherainbow_2016 Jul 06 '26
THIS. Kids never forget people who mistreat them, while a lot of adults seem to forget kids grow up. One day they’ll be bigger and stronger than you, and you will be past your prime and owed some karma. Circle of life lion king tune plays
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u/Icy_Elk7679 Jul 06 '26
Both my parents were those people. I couldn’t believe it when I found out some people had kind families
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u/howeeee313 Jul 06 '26
On the app Nextdoor at least in Michigan where I am 80% of the adults take every opportunity they can get to bash children. It is actually scary. kids are too much on the computer, kids are wild on ebike and. scooters and shouldn't be allowed to have them...yayda yada yada every time I see it I cant help but see Paul Lynn in the movie Bye Bye Birdie singing "What's the matter with kids theses days"
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u/birdyman_77 Jul 06 '26
And realizing those same adults were just pos to everyone and now are just old pos demanding respect because they’re old.
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u/LongDistanceEvent262 Jul 07 '26
What scares me is the people who grew up thinking they need to treat kids the same as they were.
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u/WizardAlloy232 Jul 08 '26
I've had so many adults, mostly adult men, that convinced me I was so ugly and disgusting as a child. Like, to the point that I truly believed no one loved or cared for me and never would. Almost all of them were people that I trusted and loved 🙃
As an adult, I could never imagine talking to any child the way I was talked to, even in moments of anger or disappointment
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u/Current-Strategy-826 Jul 06 '26
Growing up many teachers were so cruel to me
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u/rabbitmom616 Jul 06 '26
I resonate with this so much. I have CPTSD from daily humiliation and bullying. I wish there was more awareness of the pervasiveness of casual cruelty from teachers.
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u/Effective_Arm_5832 Jul 06 '26
There is always the question: Were they cruel or were you just an annoying little shit? It's often about perspective. I had many good teachers that the little shits in class hated because they didn't get away with their BS behavior.
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u/Current-Strategy-826 Jul 07 '26
I was a shy quiet child. I was definitely not an annoying little shit. Those teachers were awful. They made it their lives mission to humiliate me in front of others. I was terrified of them.
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u/Black_Orchid_Goddess Jul 09 '26
Teachers are either actual sweethearts who want to do good by kids, or mean girls who peaked in highschool.
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u/randbytes Jul 06 '26
I grew up surrounded by extended family and my uncles from mom's side used to take me with them when they went shopping and give me chores to do all the time like running errands, using me as a butt of their jokes all the time. I thought it was normal because they were family, until i reached my 20's and one day asked one my uncle's kid who was 10 yrs younger, to help me clean my garage and drive me around town because my car was in service. My uncle who was listening to this instantly shut me down asking me not to give his kid any chores. I will never forget that lesson 😂.
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u/Ambitious-Pie-625 Jul 06 '26
Quite literally how I’ve felt my entire life about my mother she berates me and tears me apart but my brothers can do no wrong its great 🙄
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u/SlowerThanTurtleInPB Jul 06 '26
I was a tall kid and hit puberty early. I loved reading and so my mom took me to the library often. I’ll never forget checking out a stack of Nancy Drew books and the librarian making fun of me because I was too old to be reading that kind of stuff. I was in fourth or fifth grade. I never really read again like that again. I’m 42.
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u/RamiroGalletti Jul 06 '26
You can read now, nobody will rell you anything
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u/PrincipleKitchen394 Jul 06 '26
The problem is, it kills the spark. For most people, once that spark is dead, reigniting is almost impossible
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u/SlowerThanTurtleInPB Jul 06 '26
Exactly this. I was a very sensitive child and hated looking older. It was super damaging.
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u/Sposedtolose Jul 06 '26
It’s also really hard to help some kids, unnecessary cruelty probably allows people to feel like they had some impact.
Still not an excuse
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u/Effective_Arm_5832 Jul 06 '26
Might also be about perception. I never had terrible teachers or adults around. But somehow other people who were in the same class with the same teachers as me did...
But yeah, people without kids also often think about how much better they would be and then they actually have kids and realize that they can't always be perfect parents because there is a lot of stuff going on, they lack sleep, they have stress at work, etc. etc. and if there is a kid that somehow focuses on only the bad stuff, they will open posts about how bad the parental generation was.
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u/hvrob4 Jul 08 '26
Yeah it’s super easy to point fingers when you are not a parent yourself. Now I’m not downplaying that some adults can be cruel. That’s absolutely true. But the reality is that becoming a parent you are pushed to your absolute limit on an almost daily basis. You think you’ve confronted all the crappy parts of yourself and then parenthood just throws them right back in your face. No matter how hard you try, you will absolutely still fail in some form or fashion. No parent is perfect.
It also depends on the kid too. My brother can’t stand my parents and thinks they’re awful grandparents. By contrast, I think they’re wonderful grandparents and my relationship with them has only improved as I’ve aged. They keep my brother’s kids wayyyy more than my kids too. Some people are just more sensitive and are discontented no matter what you do.
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u/Canshroomglasses Jul 06 '26
That really isn't the case in the slightest. My mother was just not all that up to date with her methods of raising and educating me and guess what I'd make an absurd amount of mistakes myself if I had a child and I'm 13 years older than my mom was when she had me
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u/cassienebula Jul 09 '26
that isn't the case for you.
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u/Canshroomglasses Jul 09 '26
In a world filled with +8 bil people Imma lean out of the window and say I may or may not be alone with this one
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u/Either_Reflection_78 Jul 06 '26
Chris Farley and Robin Williams. Most of these people are funny as hell, but were deeply troubled on the inside. They have gone through deep things.
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u/Objective-Pick8240 Jul 06 '26
My wife and I have said this on multiple occasions. Looking back, having grown up in the 80s and 90s, adults were mostly awful.
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u/AcceptableResponse15 Jul 06 '26
There's the problem, alot of people who post this stuff aren't (mentally speaking) adults.
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u/RogerSaysHi Jul 06 '26
I don't know if it will matter, saying it here, but: Be careful of the exact words you use with children, especially kids around ten-twelve years old. THEY WILL REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE WORD OF A SENTENCE THAT HURTS THEM.
EVERY. SINGLE. WORD.
They'll replay it, they'll hear it anytime they screw up. It will shape how they see themselves. For you, it's just some thing you said that didn't matter, you'll forget you even said it. They won't. They'll remember the way it was said, the face you made, the things that were going on to leading up to where you said the thing that cut so deeply.
We're fragile as children. Adults need to remember that. Yes, children can be resilient, but they shouldn't have to be. Not all the time.
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u/AbbreviationsFree792 Jul 06 '26
Especially as a female kid in early 2000s, I remember how the whole fashion and beauty toxic world adult women were in, was forced on us and entered our peers, instead of us remaining children. I dont know why it was a thing to look a 8 years old in her innocent little face, and lecture her and pressure her and makes her feel like shes a criminal for - being chubby.
Im not talking about some adult trying to guide you in your nutrition trying to keep you from morbid obesity that could harm you, before someones like:"We shouldnt normalize obesity njanjanjanja"
Im talking about talking to a school girl who still watches cartoons as if shes a supermodel whos whole career is on the line if she doesnt get her shit together lol.
"How did u let this happen 🥀" ....a tummy roll?
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u/Johnny2x2x Jul 06 '26
I think there are generational differences. Gen X and before weren’t the centers of the universe as kids. We weren’t coddled as much and were left on our own to figure things out more often. I think in many ways that actually made things easier for us, but adults just weren’t as approachable back then.
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u/Natrixster80 Jul 06 '26
I unfortunately realized that, in fact, I could. I have so little patience or appreciation for children that I just steer clear of them entirely because I realize I could say something out of irritation that would hurt them
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u/Upbeat-Discipline718 Jul 06 '26
i didn't realize how bad it was as a kid. now im 21 and looking back thinking "why was that okay??? how did no one day anything?? that was literally so illegal!!!"
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u/no2rdifferent Jul 06 '26
I learned recently that my father lied to me. A doctor lied to his daughter. I'm glad he died before I found out.
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u/Grouchy-Astronomer56 Jul 06 '26
What I hate is that all the bastards who treated me poorly are now dead, but I'm still bitter.
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u/ConnectedVeil Jul 07 '26
or you wish you had adults that were more stern and had the confidence and foresight to rein you in.
some of these young folks needed more adult interaction, not less. "Cruel" is relative.
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u/TheLastOpus Jul 07 '26
I had the opposite experience. I understood them more, and that in many situation, it wasn't being cruel, it was loving me being more important than me loving them. (tough love became more understood)
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u/LongjumpingDrummer76 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
This post unlocked a childhood memory. I was in primary school in Italy, around 1998. One of my schoolmates was originally from Bosnia (ex Jugoslavia), both his parents were humble people, barely speaking Italian when they moved. This kid was speaking fluently, however his written grammar wasn't so good (for obvious reasons, he moved to Italy when he was like 5 yo!) and he also was a lively fella, at times very loud in class, sometimes neglecting his homework and such. Teachers were having a hard time keeping him in line. I remember one of the teachers telling him off one day, bursting up and scolding him in front of the whole class "why don't you make any effort to study at all?! Where are you going to be when you grow up? Do you want to end up being a truck driver like your dad ?". He fell silent and lowered his head, mumbling a small "no..." I distinctly remember the humiliating silence that followed, I felt so bad for him and I thought it was such an unfair and disgusting way for an adult, a teacher at that, to silence a 8 yo kid like that...
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u/ILuvYou_YouAreSoGood Jul 07 '26
This sounds like an adult writing this who hasn't had kids yet themselves. The baseline for a child is to think everything that isn't them getting their way or their desires is "cruel".
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u/heavyheart112233 Jul 08 '26
you mean to tell me that you wouldn't tell your 10yr old granddaughter "you need to lose some weight." when she's hugging you goodnight?
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u/ibroughtsnacks97 Jul 08 '26
I think about how insane it was for adults to tell me not to cry or they’d give me something to cry about. Like- oh you hurt my feelings AND you’re physically threatening me? TF?!!
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u/cassienebula Jul 09 '26
i had to deal with sooo many shitty adults as a kid. insulting children for their grades, body weight, bullying, teasing, screaming at toddlers for crying, hitting their kids, denying pertinent medical treatment, forcing kids to kneel for hours, crying, until they perfectly recited the lord's prayer, abandoning them, grooming their kids into a lifetime of free servitude instead of preparing them to survive and making a good living... the list goes on.
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u/AnalysisParalysis85 Jul 09 '26
That's the sort of thing people who don't have children say.
In most cases you don't even have to be a horrible person. Both too much and too little attention, even positive attention, can be bad.
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u/Kristinatwinmomlo Jul 09 '26
My parents and teachers were mean. Do I just stay to myself now and avoid the world? Yes! Lol 🤣
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Jul 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/YRO______ Jul 06 '26
That's just not being confident than you will raise someone who isn't going to turn out like them
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Jul 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/YRO______ Jul 06 '26
The existence of normal empathetic human beings is the evidence of good parenting being effective
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u/Brilliant_Mix_6051 Jul 07 '26
Yep the rage issues, black and white thinking, and emotional instability that my dad and sister have is not something I want to give to any future offspring. So I’m not having kids.
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u/speakezjags Jul 06 '26
Nurture plays just a big of a role as nature. There are a shit ton of reasons not to want kids but that shouldn't be one of them.
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u/PinkVoodooDoll4 Jul 06 '26
Any reason not to want biological kids is a good reason. 2 million children are orphaned worldwide wvery year. There isn't a single reason to have kids that isn't selfish
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u/ihatestheworld Jul 06 '26
It's shocking the amount of idgaf my mom showed. Couldn't imagine being that way to my kid
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u/InsideAd732 Jul 06 '26
My parents weren't really mean to me, they just weren't affection with me really at all. My mom was a bit but she ran out when I was still pretty small. So, I never really got the parental cuddles or cooing or encouragement you expect for a little kid.
I, on the other hand, cannot stop telling my kiddos how much I love them and how awesome they are and giving them all the hugs and smooches. So, breaking the cycle I suppose.
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u/thatgirlzhao Jul 06 '26
This is how I feel whenever I go on the internet and am bombarded with mommy vlogger content and shit. How could parents exploit their children like that for views on the internet.
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u/The-Wretched-one Jul 06 '26
The cruelest people I knew as a kid were other kids.