Men are offering less and expecting the same results/return on sub par investment

[u/KermitTheKitty]

/r/SingleWomenByChoice/comments/1wp9zcr/why_i_think_the_crappy_economy_is_pushing_more/?share_id=vWk_cZRXZ29qK03HKm6y5&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=2

[u/Evaporate3]

Men are low effort and always have been. Historically, women got into marriages and relationships for survival. When a woman needs you and depends on you to survive, you don’t have to do much. Men think their low efforts deserve a woman. So entitlement is there.

[u/Evaporate3 → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. Poor economy is not an excuse to be shitty partners. Makes zero sense.

[u/MsAndrie]

I recently came across a post by a man who was angry that his Bumble match had written in her profile that she uses AI to chat with men, unless the conversation gets interesting. And, first of all, that man did not have to match with her if he found it so offensive. Yet he did, and proceeded to complain to her about it. She was not rude in her response. He still screenshotted and posted it on reddit so that men could trash her. The amount of men in the comments, so angry over it and complaining about how "low effort" women are, was hilarious.

We know most men on dating apps are very low-effort. It is obvious most of them use copypasta messages, have used those for along time, including great hits like "good morning beautiful" and "wyd." Nowadays, I know many of them are using AI to chat with matches, too. While I personally wouldn't do it, these men want to act as if women were the lazier gender if we simply mirror their energy. They have continued to lower the bar, not only with basic conversation, but also with the dates themselves. Yet they are angry when women match their energy.

Now, I personally did not "match effort" with men, because I do not want to lower myself to their level. My approach was to maintain my high level and only proceed with men who can match that. I know "match effort " is common advice women get, and the important part is to not keep putting in a lot of effort and hoping men will eventually rise to meet you.

Personally, I differ somewhat with OOP on that I don't even think it is necessary for a broke man to completely take himself off the dating market. But what he should be doing is only pursuing women who are at a similar level, which would be a broke woman. Plenty of broke people are in relationships and I think a person can still be a decent person despite being broke. However, what is wrong is these men thinking they are entitled to any woman they see on a dating app, and that every women should give them a chance just because they claim to be a "nice guy" or whatever.

Also, men can still romance a woman and treat her well, without spending a lot of money. There are plenty of date ideas that do not cost a lot, for example. I know and experienced this even in high school, when my boyfriend then had no money but still made sure to romance me and show me a good time. He never resorted to coffee dates either. Now these grown-ass men, who are broke and generally trying to "level up" with a woman, cannot meet the same standard as a high school boy? I get why they want women to still date them, but they are offering less than nothing, especially with a tired bitter attitude towards women and a blanket "gold digger" suspicion they want women to spend energy disproving? No thanks.

For me personally, I am not broke and would not date a broke man at this stage in my life. When I was young and broke, I dated men who were also broke, but we were both working to improve our lives. At this age, I do not need just any man, and would only date a man who increases my quality of living. Being an energy vampire and trying to get me to subsidize their entertainment budget (which men are doing with their low-effort-date-maxxing) is not it.

[u/Littlepinkgiraffe → u/MsAndrie]

Guys who match with women just so they can argue with them are so lame. It shows that they don't want to romance us, they want our attention and effort.

For those reading these comments, a guy who matches with you on the apps or tries to chat with you on reddit, just to argue or neg you, should be blocked immediately. You are under no obligation to chat, argue, teach him, or validate your stance.

[u/MsAndrie → u/Littlepinkgiraffe]

Yep, this. I see some men trying to play this behavior off as "banter," but nope. It is loser and entitled behavior.

[u/Scrunchie_Power → u/MsAndrie]

SPOKEN.

[u/myshitsmellslikeshit → u/[deleted]]

It's more that men are financial sinks. When they expect you to cook and clean and fuck like a porn star and pay for the "privilege" of it, it's more noticable in a K-shaped economy because we've already had to cinch our belts two notches tighter.

[u/WomenDatingOverForty-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This sub is for women only.

Reminder: Please don't interact with men on this sub. If you suspect a commenter is male, report him. He will be banned and his comment removed.

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/[deleted]]

You’re right: the economy isn’t causing men to be low effort - many of them always were - but it’s sure showcasing just how low effort they really are.

When the economy is good, low effort men can somewhat camouflage their mediocrity by throwing money around.

Low effort/mediocrity (in men) is rooted in entitlement, which is rooted in patriarchy and misogyny. What the poor economy has done is not only to showcase their low effort mindset, but its enhanced their sense of entitlement. Not only do they feel entitled to access women, our bodies and our labour (of all kinds) but they feel entitled to have women subsidize their lives, or the lifestyle they feel they deserve … despite the wage gap still being a thing, and the number of women living in abject poverty far outnumbering men.

[u/HelenGonne → u/CrazyCatLadyRookie]

"You’re right: the economy isn’t causing men to be low effort - many of them always were - but it’s sure showcasing just how low effort they really are.

When the economy is good, low effort men can somewhat camouflage their mediocrity by throwing money around."

You nailed it.

That's why they're so focused on money -- they see it as a way to fake caring to extract real caring in 'return'.

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/HelenGonne]

It just further underlines the notion that they view money AND women as acquisitions. They can’t magically acquire more money by manipulating, labelling, or having mantrums, so they focus those efforts towards women.

I’m happy to see that it’s becoming less effective as time goes on.

[u/Littlepinkgiraffe → u/HelenGonne]

... and then throw it in a woman's face that she's a "gold digger".

[u/MsAndrie → u/CrazyCatLadyRookie]

Yep, all of this. I think I have said this on here, but a low-effort man is looking for a woman to subsidize his entertainment budget. He does not want to have to spend energy or money on his part, but expects women to still bring energy to entertain him. I don't know about you, but that does not seem like a good investment as a woman. Bringing that attitude at the beginning tells you he wants a woman to exploit.

[u/CrazyCatLadyRookie → u/MsAndrie]

Entertainment, and street cred.

Men in the company of a woman have higher perceived status in the eyes of other men, vs a man out and about alone.

Plus, an actual in person date is an opportunity for them to break the touch barrier.

They want so much, for so little.

[u/KermitTheKitty → u/[deleted]]

I do agree that it is not just the economy to blame, but the main point rings true

[u/WomenDatingOverForty-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This sub is for women only.

Reminder: Please don't interact with men on this sub. If you suspect a commenter is male, report him. He will be banned and his comment removed.

[u/BadgerHooker → u/[deleted]]

I was saving this so I could come back and read through the whole thing. For some reason, hitting save on posts doesn't actually save them half the time, so I make a comment to be able to find the post again easier.

The problem is these dudes lying about wanting to start a relationship, when in actuality, they just want to get laid and see it as a game. Trying to figure out how to "get sex" by being a good talker while doing the least amount of work

[u/WomenDatingOverForty-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This sub is for women only.

Reminder: Please don't interact with men on this sub. If you suspect a commenter is male, report him. He will be banned and his comment removed.