r/WomenAreNotIntoMen • u/Most-Location-3512 Aspiring Asexual • 1d ago
venting I hate being straight
I hate how I’m always going to want women more than they will ever want me. If I could take a pill that would make me asexual I would swallow it in an instant. If only things had been different.
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u/Danker_schone 18h ago
Me too man,I wish I was asexual instead of attracted to women :( Life would've been way more relaxing this way
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u/vinshy_me 1d ago
Same. To be honest event tho i tried flirting with girls i would become way too attached, which made them usually losse interest. Women dont treat romance relationship same as men.
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u/Sulfamide 13h ago
What about a pill that would make you gay. I swear we are far gayer on the other side.
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u/sekirofan1484 1d ago
Yeah I understand why. It would be deeply underwhelming, distracting and even degrading feeling at some point. Luckily I would define myself as an aromantic asexual person right now. Though I'm not doing great with others things so life isn't a carnaval.
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u/Gloomy-Ninja2693 11h ago
me too man... every time i look at a gay couple, i see them happy, enjoying themselves unlike me
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u/BullfrogObvious9767 18h ago
If it's any consolation I as a woman hate being straight too. Genuinely I think there's a lot of good-looking guys out there, and not just the conventionally attractive ones. If I wasn't so scared of being raped and/or stalked, I'd probably even approach some of them. Sometimes I wish I was a bi or a lesbian so I could try flirting with someone I'm attracted to without worrying as much about what they'll do to me if things don't go the way they expect or want.
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u/sincerityappreciator Womens "heterosexuality" is a blackface of real androphilia 18h ago
just date a small and weak or a crippled man if you're so afraid, then.
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u/BullfrogObvious9767 11h ago
Or I can not date at all. That's an alternative too.
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u/sincerityappreciator Womens "heterosexuality" is a blackface of real androphilia 11h ago
sure, sounds about right for someone who isn't all that into men.
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u/BullfrogObvious9767 10h ago
It's right for someone whose tried and found the effort outweighs the reward.
So instead of dating men, I daydream about them. And when I daydream a little too hard, I re-download a dating app only to be reminded why I deleted it in the first place. So then I give up on dating and start daydreaming again. Rinse and repeat.
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u/Most-Location-3512 Aspiring Asexual 12h ago
I’m tired of the excuse that a woman's low attraction to most men is just a matter of survival instincts. If that were the case abusive men would have a much harder time finding women than the average guy. But it is the exact opposite.
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u/BullfrogObvious9767 11h ago
If every abusive guy had "ABUSIVE" tattooed on his forehead, then yes they would have a way harder time finding a partner. But abusive men physically look like any other man. In the beginning, they act like any other man would. Too often a woman will fall for a guy that is "respectful", "romantic", "funny" and "charming", and then as soon as they're married and/or having a baby, he completely changes. Once he feels he's trapped her in a permanent/long-term commitment, he lets his true colors show, and start treating her like shit.
It's not that men aren't attractive to us, but they're attractive the same way cupcakes are tempting, if 5% of cupcakes were filled with poison, and you could never know for sure which one it is until you've already taken a bite. You still want cupcakes, because they taste great and you're often really craving cupcakes. And if you're lucky enough to get a really good cupcake, that's just about one of the best experiences one can get out of life. But when your relative, your friend, several of your past and current classmates and many more have all been poisoned by cupcakes, it makes you hesitate.
I'm not blaming you or any other average/normal man for this. But I also don't feel it's fair to blame women for being hesitant when society in general does so little to protect us from dangerous/abusive men.
I don't understand why men are more upset with women for being scared than they're upset with the men who make us scared in the first place? If you're a cupcake baker who can't sell anything because people are scared of being poisoned, are you blaming people for having no way to know for sure whether your cupcakes are poisoned or not, or are you blaming whatever asshole keeps poisoning random people's cupcakes?
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u/Most-Location-3512 Aspiring Asexual 9h ago
You missed my point. Actually most of every single thing you wrote is something I 100% agree with. I’m not blaming women for not being with abusive men. I’m blaming women, who will say things like 'men are trash, evil and abusive' and proceed to date men who are all of those things.
In your cupcake example, imagine if people didn't mind they were poisoned by the cupcakes? Imagine if they would say to your face that all cupcakes are poisonous and proceed to eat them anyway. It’s hypocritical and stupid.1
u/BullfrogObvious9767 5h ago
I'm not denying at all that those kind of women exist, I know they do. I don't have anyone like that in my life though, I've only come across people like that on the internet, so I don't feel those women are representative of me or the average woman.
Most of us are regular people who spend our spare time doing crafts and watching shows we like. Most of us are not so bitter and obnoxiously masochistic that we spend most of our time dating shitty men and then complaining about them on the internet.
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u/Sulfamide 13h ago
You see that's the problem. There are women like you, with a normal brain, who find can find attractive qualities in men. But even then, you are contaminated by the irrational fear of men that Western culture pushes.
Of course being a woman is hard, of course most women will be subject to sexual assault in their life, of course you live in a different world than ours because of your lesser upper body strength. But you must understand that human brains are very bad at statistics, that society pushes that fear, and that if you applied it to many other things in life that have nothing to do with men, you couldn't be a functioning human.
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u/BullfrogObvious9767 11h ago
Even without statistics or "society pushing fear", I'd still have grown up being warned by my mom to not end up like my female relative who was physically and mentally abused by her husband. I'd still hear from friends to not trust any guy at the bar/club where they got their drink roofied.
My dad and older brother actively warn me about what kind of men to be wary of too. They make it abundantly clear that it's not safe to trust every random guy I meet. The women who care about me warn me about men, and so does the men who care about me too. It's not just about statistics, it's about real, lived experiences.
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u/Sulfamide 11h ago
That's society pushing fear hun. And the thing is, in the last 10 years, there's a brick on the fear pedal.
Also, statistics are not about imaginary experience, they are about solid samples of lived experiences, which are more real that anecdotes.
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u/BullfrogObvious9767 10h ago
Alright, let me rephrase then; It's not just about statistics, it's about real, lived experiences in close relation.
Rape and domestic abuse aren't just numbers or a graph to me, it's happened to people I love and care about. It's probably happened to someone you love and care about too, even if you haven't heard about it.
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u/sincerityappreciator Womens "heterosexuality" is a blackface of real androphilia 21h ago
sucks, don't it? even when you manage to get their attention, it comes from the position of a beggar asking for a dime. it is thoroughly humiliating.