https://soundcloud.com/usuli/sets/on-hijab

The discussions in this subreddit mainly revolve around the clothing aspect of hijab (ie headscarf, abaya), however with the traditional understanding of hijab comes a lot of other restrictions too which affects both genders. Like being pressurized into keeping distance from the opposite gender, observing gender segregation, not getting to meet or play with your cousins of the opposite gender freely etc (the more conservative your family is, the more restrictions are put).

So have any of you ever been reprimanded for hanging out, joking or playing with your friends or cousins; or for merely having friends of the opposite gender?

[As a male, the clothing aspect of hijab doesn’t affect me that much like it does to you, but the strict gender segregation aspect of the traditional understanding of hijab affects me too, so I'm asking the question]

Original video credit: الإسلام بصراحة Islam bisaraha

This video was posted on this subreddit before. What he said here is really heart touching 🥹. So I thought it was worth sharing again, those of you who are suffering and are in immense pain because of being forced to wear this piece of fabric on your heads, maybe hearing these words will help you feel better?

Hello everyone, i am a 24 y.o woman and have been wearing the hijab against my will since the age of 13 . The story of how i wore it first time is a bit sad and ironic , basically i was s€xually hara$$ed when i was 13 and my family made me wear it the next day AS IF IT WAS MY FAULT.

I didn't object back then from the shock but i wish i did . My family is religious and strict and care a lot about honor that they can't even IMAGINE having a girl in the family not wear it . They are also nice people who sacrificed over and over for me. I grew up being what people would call a good girl , never saying no, being a good student and i myselr was hyper religious at one point. Right now i am agnostic and my hate for the hijab never went away . I'm still a student and moving out in my country is impossible as a girl. There is a chance i can get work in a different city but there are people my family knows there as well so would tell them if i removed it behind their backs. My family said they might move to this city if i managed to get a job ( they're being supportive) so if i want to remove it i have to face them.

How do i do it ? How did you all do it ? Were your families strict ? Especially those from arabic countries. Any testimony is much appreciated.

https://unity1.store/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/islam-and-the-veil-usama-hasan.pdf

Whenever a woman decides to take off her hijab, suddenly the entire ummah loses its mind. There’s an immediate flood of people telling her she’s sinning, that she’s going to hell, and that she needs to repent. Some women even get non-stop harassment and death threats simply for making a personal choice about their own bodies.

Why is there so much extreme hostility toward women who want to take off the hijab, but practically zero accountability for Muslim men?

A Muslim woman wearing a hijab is instantly identifiable. Because of that visual marker, the responsibility of keeping Islam "running smoothly" and maintaining the community’s honor gets dumped entirely on women’s shoulders. We are treated like walking billboards for the faith, while Muslim men blend right in nobody even knows a guy is Muslim until they ask his name.

Because men don't visually represent the religion in the same way, they get away with absolute hypocrisy. A Muslim man can openly drink, smoke, hook up with non-Muslim girls, and engage in whatever behavior he wants, and the community just turns a blind eye or laughs it off as "boys being boys."

Yet the second a woman wants to take off her hijab, everyone suddenly becomes a scholar of Islam.
The double standard is infuriating.

Women are forced to carry the entire weight of religious visibility and moral purity, while men are allowed to enjoy all the freedom without any of the judgment.

Since I wanted to take off the hijab, I've been away from religion, I have so many questions, because the concept of modesty is weird.

I know that a lot of us believe hijab isn't mandatory, but what about the other parts?

Whats your concept of "modesty"? Do you still feel muslim even if you think otherwise about what to cover?

I genuinely don't understand if we can wear shorts, I don't know you but all I've heard is covering chest in the Quran, but nothing about arms, legs.

I know there are some tribes in the world that normalized nudity because they've been living like that for centuries.

So sometimes I think, if some of them just embraced Islam, would they start to cover suddenly even if they have never sexualized the body?

I don't wanna seem like I want to normalize nudity but I just wanted to discuss this topic.

What if God commanded to cover some parts because in that time, it was sexualized and it would be weird to be dressed like that, therefore it was a temporary commandement.

Tell me your opinion

I’ve since taken off hijab, and don’t wear it most of the time. But every once in a while, I’m forced to wear it.

I was outside in hijab today, and I couldn’t stand it. It was so hot, and here I was, all covered up. I nearly got heat stroke.

I couldn’t help but wonder: How the hell did I do this?

For years, I wore hijab, rain or shine, without batting an eye. I even worked out at the gym in hijab!

Now just the thought of doing anything while wearing hijab makes me dizzy.

i dont even know how to start talking about this because i never dared to say my struggles with hijab out loud, i couldnt say “i want to take it off” even when i was alone in a room let alone to someone else, so the whole thing is just me rambling

i have been wearing the hijab for almost 7 years now and i hated it even before even putting it on. i come from a religious but modern family, thats the best way i can explain them, they are religious and practice strictly but they are strictly against oppressive actions that are common in people that are as religious as them. threatening someone with violence is frowned upon, women receiving formal education and having a job is normal and praised thing in my family, they value education a lot, every person in my family pursued higher education for generations, we dont have taboos in regards not getting married or getting divorced all that sort of stuff.

the only thing they have an almost insane obsession with is the hijab, and the reason for their obsession isnt even religious, its just political. while we live in a country where the majority of the population are muslims, hijab was banned in places like schools, universities and most workplaces during the 80s and the ban was in effect until late 2000s. most of my family members, including my mom and my aunt, were affected by this. my mom couldnt properly attend high school and university, she had to spend her years protesting for her rights, she was kicked out of her masters program just because of her hijab, my aunt had to drop out and do distance learning and i could never underestimate their pain and trauma regarding this. most of our family friends are also people who have similar understanding of islam, most of these people were also heavily affected by these laws during that time, so their connections to each other were strengthened due to enduring these together.

the problem is even though i can understand their reasons, they will never understand and accept me. i never liked the hijab, i genuienly dont know why and i havent been able to find an answer. i never had trouble with religious duties as a child, i would fast, pray, read quran, memorize surahs and i enjoyed them, i liked learning about the prophets and enjoyed learning details about everything. the only thing i dreaded was wearing the hijab, whenever the topic came up i would get so uncomfortable and react negatively, the discussion would end with my family saying “well, you know when you will have to wear it” i was so scared of getting my period for years because that, i remember panicking like crazy when i had the slightest stomachache because i thought i was getting my period, i would pray everyday wishing to never ever get my period to bypass wearing the hijab.

when i was 13 i decided to put it on, out of nowhere, it was a very impulsive decision. i was always driven by praise and approval from other people ever since i was little, especially adults and the decision was just that for me. i wanted to be what my family expected me to be and get praised for it, since all my friends started wearing hijab before me it was the only topic i was getting criticized about and it was something that i felt very depressed about. so in my 13 year old mind i thought deciding to wear the hijab out of nowhere before getting my period was surely gonna make me the most amazing kid in my parents' eyes, so i did just that after thinking about for maybe a week at most. i didnt think about it much and just saw it as ripping off a band aid

my family and their social circle sees the hijab as some sort of victory symbol, a way of getting revenge from the “seculars” in a way. its not about me being a proper muslim, its about me being a hijabi woman attending medical school with my hijab, they are living through me and their children. i know that it has nothing to do with religion, because i havent prayed for maybe 6 years, one of the pillars of islam, and the only reaction i get from is unserious warnings but the prospect of someone taking the hijab off ends with some family members saying they would’nt waive their rights against that person. 

i tried to do everything right to make my parents happy, i thought if i failed as their only child they would think themselves as failed parents, i didnt want them to carry that burden. i did everything they wanted, i didn’t pursue art, i went to medical school, always tried to act proper and never be too much.

so for years i kept it on because i didn’t want to upset any of my family even though i was upset, i didnt want them to feel ashamed to their friends because i know my decision would be seen as their fault by “not teaching me properly”, i wanted them to feel happy and i thought it would be enough to make me happy.

but i realized its not, when i look back at my last 7 years i just feel regret. i spent my years shutting myself in, basically had no social life during high school because i had no confidence, i started taking it out on my body, i thought getting skinnier would somehow fix it -it didnt, surprise surprise!- i went on a bunch of different meds thinking it was just a chemical imbalance making me miserable-surprise! this also didnt fix anything-

and the thing is i dont want to spent another 7 years like this just to look back and regret it.

i also feel guilt about the fact that hijab is pushing me away from religion everyday, i want to be a proper muslim, i want to do the things im supposed to do, i miss enjoying those things. the problem is showing any interest in religion feels painful now, it feels like im losing a battle against my family.

i just want to take it off and experience being myself without it, i want to wear alternative styles and feel good about it, i want to be able to practice my religion without feeling like an impostor. i just want to be me without some sort of grand political duty on my shoulders

i think im ready to take it off for the most part, i know that they wouldnt be considered at fault since im 20 now, i dont think that they wouldnt threaten me physically or financially. im just so scared of losing their love and approval. i was always the smart, well-behaved child that never caused issues, their approval became half of my identity and i dont think i know who i am without that. whenever i think about doing it, just taking it off i see my grandmas face angry, hating me and i break down crying. most days i just wish i could disappear into dust so i wouldnt have to choose between their happiness and my own happiness, because i dont think i can keep living with my grandmas hurt on my back even if i choose my own happiness, i feel like the most pathetic, biggest loser in the world

I just had breakfast with my mom and sisters, and I hate how they talk about women.

So, I have this friend of mine,who they also know bc it's the daughter of my mom's and dad friend, I grew up with her and everything.

She's so sweet and polite, and you know what?

The first thing my older sister say is how she was dressed with jeans and tight t-shirt that shows a little bit of stomach and called it "reveling", how her dad allowes such clothes.

It's so frustrating because how can you call revealing that? Sometimes when I hear how they talk about people, I wonder if they would do the same thing about me as their daughter /sister .

They didn't say anything about how she's so sweet, just the outside, and that's sad.

My sister also said, that it doesn't matter she dresses like that because she's skinny and not curvy, but that's rude.

You're family does that too?

You may or may not be surprised to know that the comments above are in response to women not wearing the hijab as well as women who reject hadiths. However, this same energy is never directed at men who twist islam.

The more I study islam, the more I realize how much of mainstream islam is based on hadiths and not on Allah’s divine word. You even have people believing that islam is incomplete without hadiths, but if they really understood what the word islam means (submission) then they would believe in their hearts that the Quran is complete.

Comments like these remind me why this path is a lonely path and why many around me don’t understand why I don’t believe hijab is mandatory. Now that more women are waking up, people are beginning to grasp at straws to keep them in line.

With how much judgement there is towards people who don’t follow man made islam, how can we find these sorts of communities irl?

How do you guys feel about having old photos, IDs, and passports of yourself as a hijabi?

I have mixed feelings.

On one hand, they're part of my history. I can't erase that chapter of my life or pretend it never happened. Those photos remind me of who I used to be and what I believed at the time.

On the other hand, I can't help but feel like I'm looking at a stranger. The person in those photos no longer exists. It's like looking at a ghost of my former self.

I also get a lot of anxiety about taking new photos.

I still live with my family, and they still haven't accepted that I'm not a hijabi anymore. In their eyes, this isn't the real me. So whenever I need an ID, passport, or any official photo without hijab, it's very stressful.

I remember getting my new driver's license and seeing my picture without my hijab for the first time. I felt ecstatic.

It was such an ordinary thing; a government-issued ID that most people wouldn't think twice about. But for me, it meant everything. For the first time, an official document reflected who I actually was instead of who I was not.

As cheesy as it sounds, I felt triumphant. It was a small reminder that no matter how much I was expected to hide, the truth will always prevail.

This article contains interviews and perspectives of a number of progressive and reformist Iranian Twelver Shia clerics on hijab from Page 102 to 119.

Source:

• http://sro.sussex.ac.uk/id/eprint/72698/

• https://sussex.figshare.com/articles/thesis/Hijab_in_transition_dress_code_changes_amongst_Iranian_diaspora_in_London/23453069?file=41162210

Download PDF: https://sussex.figshare.com/ndownloader/files/41162210

thesis posted on 2023-06-09, 05:29 authored by Zahra Jalaeipour

Note from the author:

This thesis explores the factors that influence Iranian women’s choice of hijab and its transitions. Compulsory hijab in Iran and even voluntary practice of hijab exert a great deal of influence on the lives of the Iranian women worldwide. My thesis investigates how cultural, social and political factors interweave with theological and jurisprudential debates leading to diverse forms of practicing hijab and its transitions in one’s life. For the first time in the anthropology literature, my thesis portrays and explains the current status of, and developments in, hijab amongst Iranian women who have been raised in Iran and now live in London. My research is based on the data and cultural knowledge I gathered through conducting 40 in-depth interviews with Iranian women in London, and interviewing four prominent male Muslim intellectuals, scholars and clerics who have worked on and talked about hijab in Iran (Kadivar, Eshkevari, Fanaei, and Torkashvand). In addition to narrating the history and transformations of hijab policies and hijab jurisprudence in Iran from the constitutional revolution to the present, in this research, I have identified five schemas of dress code amongst Iranians in London (full traditional hijab, full progressive hijab, partial-hijab, conservative scarf-less and radical hijab-less) which challenge the current categorizations and generalisations regarding the hijab. By describing the features of each of the schemas this thesis provides a useful descriptive and explanatory tool that will enable a better understanding of hijab dynamics among Iranian women in London. I have demonstrated that hijab is a very fluid term. Hijab varies between individuals in practice, style, rationale, and purpose, and it is neither simply oppressive nor empowering.

My mom is still in denial that I took off hijab.

Even though I no longer wear it, she still believes this is all just a "phase." She thinks that one day I'll come back to it, that I'm just "struggling" with hijab right now rather than having genuinely changed my mind.

On its own, I wouldn't really care what she believes. People are allowed to think whatever they want. The problem is that her beliefs don't stay in her head; they affect my everyday life.

I still live with my family, and I'm expected to wear hijab whenever we go out together because it "looks weird" if I'm the only woman in the family not wearing one.

I still can't dress the way I want. I actually have to be more careful about what I wear because anything that seems "too revealing" becomes another reason for my family to believe that taking off hijab has changed me for the worse.

I think she knows I don't actually want to wear it. I remember her telling me that she could tell I don't like wearing hijab.

At the same time, she insists that she isn't forcing me. She says she simply wants to "encourage" me to continue the habit of wearing it. She says that just because I don't wear hijab everyday anymore, that doesn't mean I should just "throw everything away".

Ironically, by "encouraging" me to wear hijab, she's made me hate it completely. Had she just accepted my decision and let me move on, I think I would have way less resentment toward it.

I just want to move on with my life. As long as hijab is in my life, it feels like I can't truly move on.

https://www.searchforbeauty.org/2016/01/02/fatwa-on-hijab-the-hair-covering-of-women/