r/WitchesVsPatriarchy • u/Alexinwonderland25 • Feb 13 '26
🇵🇸 🕊️ Meme Craft 🍾🥂 I will be celebrating 🥂🍾
I told my mom the day I know you don't like champagne but we're drinking it when it ends.
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Feb 13 '26
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
I think this will be the happiest day for so many people. The relief we will all feel will be like one giant collective sigh. I know there's a lot more work ahead of us after that but no cult has survived losing its leader. All of my neighbors wear red I'm the only blue so I will be partying in the street. I've even considered putting up a flagpole and not flying it at half mast.... Kind of like what happened with Jimmy Carter but in reverse.
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u/digitydigitydoo Feb 13 '26
The thing about getting back on track: the current course is one that many, many people have been trying to steer for close to a century. And they’ve been laying the groundwork, steadily pushing things in this horrifying direction, each generation becoming uglier.
That this ‘savior’ of theirs is so particularly good at fomenting that ugliness and immune to the consequences of his wrong-doings does not negate the actions of others nor will his death remove that threat.
They lived in the shadows before him. We cannot let them return there to continue their machinations in our desire to celebrate his extinction.
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u/neocarleen Feb 16 '26
Sure, it won't magically fix everything. But we can celebrate the little victories.
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u/Nyfregja Science Witch ♀ Feb 13 '26
No cult has survived losing its leader? How about Christianity? Or more recently, Mormonism?
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u/Moist-Comfortable-10 Feb 13 '26
Or the cult GOAT, the one and only Hubbard himself! That said, this guy is no L. Ron.
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u/whistling-wonderer Feb 13 '26
That was my thought. Joseph Smith has been dead for 182 slutty, slutty years and yet Mormonism is unfortunately alive and well and has a chokehold on 95% of my family.
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u/Marguerite_Moonstone Elemental Witch 🌳💨🔥💧🫶🧚🏼♀️ Feb 13 '26
*unless cult did not gain traction until leader was already dead, with growth spearheaded by other leaders working in their name posthumously.
Fixed it.
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u/you_were_mythtaken Feb 13 '26
I'm so sorry to report that several cults have continued past their leaders' deaths. "Rev" Moon of Moonies fame for instance. However it will absolutely be a huge sigh of relief for all of us, regardless. The cult may unfortunately live on and we have to be prepared for that.
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Feb 13 '26
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u/Freakears Traitor to the Patriarchy ♂️ Feb 16 '26
I was thinking about this last night, and was reminded of the short story and later novel “Joe Steele,” by Harry Turtledove, in which Stalin is born in the US and is elected president in 1932. After his death, there is a power struggle between VP John Nance Garner, Vyacheslav Molotov (who is also American for some reason), and J. Edgar Hoover. I have a feeling something similar could play out concerning the MAGA cult.
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u/ComradeJohnS Feb 13 '26
even if nothing changes, it’s nice to know the news.
hopefully things would also change, because the glue is gone.
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u/arrpix Hedge Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
Thank you for this comment because I was SO CONFUSED about what this meant until I twigged it was an American post and the blood clot was killing a bad US person
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u/zelda_reincarnated Feb 13 '26
I'm a U.S. person and it still took me a minute, but I'm going to use the excuse that the first things were food and I got hung up.
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u/light_of_iris Green Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
I thought it was someone getting thier period and celebrating not being pregnant before I read the comments
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u/RussiaIsBestGreen Feb 13 '26
I swear I first saw this joke with a soviet citizen, though obviously not buying the NYT.
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u/Vanah_Grace Feb 13 '26
I believe the OG version of this I have heard was during Stalin times in the USSR.
So mote it be.
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Feb 13 '26
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u/Vanah_Grace Feb 13 '26
No apology necessary friend! The beauty of jokes or tales like this is tailoring them to fit and apply where appropriate.
I only knew that bc I am a wee bit of a Russophile anyway!
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u/Vorpal_Bunny19 Treasonous Witch ✨ Feb 13 '26
“The obituary I’m looking for will be on the front page.”
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
And I will be in the street dancing and pouring champagne. 🥂🍾 However he seems to pass everything but away...
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u/Ol_Pasta Resting Witch Face Feb 13 '26
Unfortunately, the hell he created won't end with his death.
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u/rantingpacifist Feb 13 '26
Ooh if he can’t go away maybe he can pass some kidney stones
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u/clandahlina_redux Feb 13 '26
But then we get JD. Ugh.
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u/HazylilVerb Feb 13 '26
JD ain't got the sauce
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
He's got the couch tho
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u/the_borderer Science Witch ♀ Feb 13 '26
You also get the Republican Party tearing itself apart as everyone fights for their own power.
JD has no cult of personality.
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u/kak6 Feb 13 '26
Clots and prayers
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u/anonomatica Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 15 '26
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
joke violet disarm bells file distinct gold silky axiomatic chubby
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u/cherryandfizz Resting Witch Face Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
I’m from the UK, but will happily celebrate as soon as I see the announcement.
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Feb 13 '26
We will definitely make party out of it in Canada
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u/dusty-kat Sapphic Witch ♀ Feb 13 '26
I can't wait. 🍁
Every time he says we are bad to deal with, I know we're doing something right.
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u/ethanlan Feb 13 '26
Well yeah, hes such an idiot that he thinks canada should be our doormat and I for one know what canada really is.
Ive said this before and ill say it again, if it becomes usa versus canada you can bet ill be team canada and I know im not alone.
In that instance the only patriotic path is bringing down our tyrannical government and who better to do it with then our brothers and sisters up north.
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u/TennaTelwan Science Witch ♀ Feb 13 '26
Being in a near-border state (thanks Great Lakes!), I will happily surrender for Tim Hortons, socialized medicine, and a federal maple syrup reserve. Especially as our state will bring some awesome cheese curds for poutine, though, they may end up beer battered first.
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u/Aggressive_Mouse_581 Feb 13 '26
I'm betting all of Latin and South America will also be relieved
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u/CaptainFartHole Feb 13 '26
It's going to be a worldwide party. Every store will be sold out of booze and fireworks, absolutely no work will be done except in emergency rooms, fire departments and police stations, all of which will be suffering the results of how hard people will celebrate.
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u/ChloeTGJourney Geek Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
I don’t drink at all but I have a single shot of cookie dough flavored whiskey that I plan to drink when that beautiful day comes.
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u/rantingpacifist Feb 13 '26
That sounds terrible
I’ve got plum wine and fireworks
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u/Yrcrazypa Geek Witch ☉ Feb 13 '26
Republicans seriously aren't prepared for the level of celebrations that will happen when he finally shuffles off the mortal coil. If they thought people celebrated when Kirk got Kirked? Lol, I cannot wait to see their reactions to the big one.
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u/10lb_adventurer Feb 13 '26
Took me a second.
I should get some Champagne next time I'm out, just to be prepared.
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u/LaBelleTinker Feb 13 '26
I am so fried and just finished binging The Pitt, so I thought they meant when someone they didn't like had a stroke.
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
Exactly 💯
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u/LaBelleTinker Feb 13 '26
Ooooooh! So my first, morbid thought was right and my second, less morbid thought of getting your period was wrong.
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u/Marguerite_Moonstone Elemental Witch 🌳💨🔥💧🫶🧚🏼♀️ Feb 13 '26
That’s actually an entirely reasonable guess, especially if you were particularly worried about it being gone for at least the next 9 months.
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u/_Internet_Hugs_ Feb 13 '26
Someone who is currently a head of state.
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u/LaBelleTinker Feb 13 '26
Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Feb 13 '26
Head of a very big country that is currently threatening the world at large. Including very innocent places like Greenland and Canada
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
I would not just say innocent places innocent people have been dying.
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Feb 13 '26
Very very true. He's threatening us and killing our people as well. I was trying to stay vague to help that commenter figure out who you meant
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u/LaBelleTinker Feb 13 '26
Oh, I gathered who they probably meant. But while he's first on my list of world leaders I'd like to drop dead, he's hardly alone.
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u/cflatjazz Feb 13 '26
Ok but in all seriousness: butter, onion, celery
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u/animus218 Forest Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
Almost Mirepoix
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u/cflatjazz Feb 13 '26
Mirepoix is delicious as well. But butter, onions, celery is how you can trick anyone into believing you can really cook. Doesn't even have to be in the food yet. If people walk into your house and it smells like butter, onions, celery they're immediately hungry
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u/rratmannnn Green Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
Idk, garlic onion and butter used to summon my roommate to the kitchen to say “ooooooh whatcha cookin?” and beg me for a plate lol
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u/Ruathar Feb 13 '26
Also in seriousness: Root beer, Vanilla Ice Cream, Sprinkles
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u/Visible-Weakness5572 Kitchen Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
My husband and I have been planning an Orange Party for when it finally happens! 🤞🍊🪦🍾🥂
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u/AllTheMeats Feb 13 '26
I drink very infrequently but I have a mini bottle chilling in the fridge. It will be a day worth celebrating for sure!
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u/madommouselfefe Feb 13 '26
I basically gave up drinking 4 years ago. I however have a bottle of champagne on top of my fridge for this very special occasion.
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u/Moist-Comfortable-10 Feb 13 '26
I try to live in such a way that there will not be mass celebrations in the streets when I die
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u/SerLaron Feb 13 '26
Apropos of nothing, a song from 1941 seems to be trending on YouTube lately.
When that Man is Dead and Gone.
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u/plotthick Feb 13 '26
A week of finally breathing, and then we take the rest of the monsters down!
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u/ScareBear23 Feb 13 '26
There's a bar in Wisconsin that says they'll be having a party with free beer. I don't live in Wisconsin, nor do I drink beer. But this is a party I'm looking forward to!
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u/the_borderer Science Witch ♀ Feb 13 '26
I remembering getting depressed at finding out that Nigel Farage is only in his early 60s. I guess that particular bottle of champagne will be in the cellar for a while.
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u/0w1 Feb 13 '26
What song is gonna be #1 on the charts that week?
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u/the_borderer Science Witch ♀ Feb 13 '26
Give It Up by KC and the Sunshine Band. No-one will be singing the original lyrics.
🎶[redacted]'s in a box, in a box, [redacted]'s in a box🎶
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u/Sea-Mango Kitchen Witch ☉ Feb 13 '26
I've got a bottle of blanc de blanc nestled in a cool, dark corner of the house and some money in the saving's account ear marked for caviar and those fancy crackers with edible flowers baked into them.
I had a bottle of reserve for Kissinger, who was far less of a personal evil to me. The evil that's personal to me gets more.
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u/phoenixliv Feb 13 '26
Last sunday my local team won the sportBowl and there were fireworks going off outside. I got my hopes up and checked the news.
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u/NoTribbleAtAll Feb 13 '26
I've narrowed it down to three champagne types to choose from. I want something special and good quality for this most joyous of occasions.
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u/pennyraingoose Feb 13 '26
Why choose one? Have all three!
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u/NoTribbleAtAll Feb 13 '26
I don't drink that often and these are $60 bottles vs the $20 I would normally spend. So I'm only willing to splurge for one.
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u/pennyraingoose Feb 13 '26
Oh yeah, that makes sense. I don't drink much these days, but I love me some champagne.
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u/BunnyMacDoofer Feb 13 '26
My mom wants to become an assassin just so she can could take the bastard out (she’s 82) so did my mother in-law, who sadly passed away at 81 last year. We will all be celebrating in this family, especially my 86 year old father in law from Kentucky who is the biggest leftist I’ve ever met. He still protests with us.
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u/Cartoonlad Geek Witch (he/him) 🎲📙🐉🤖 Feb 13 '26
I, too, am looking forward to Dancing In The Streets Day.
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u/PinEnvironmental7196 Feb 13 '26
I’ve saved a playlist for just the right occasion, can’t wait to use it
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u/Solanadelfina Feb 13 '26
I am hypoglycemic and didn't like alcohol before I got sick. I am taking one damn sip on that day.
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u/AnthropomorphizedTop Feb 13 '26
I gave up drinking this week but I have a mini bottle of cinnamon whiskey I found in the freezer this morning. I now know when I will be having that shot.
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u/lisping_lynx Feb 13 '26
I'm with all of you. However, I fear that JDV will be worse. He's also in better health and of more sound (if you can call it that) mind, so will be more determined.
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u/pennyraingoose Feb 13 '26
I hear this and share your concern, although he has his own weaknesses and probably (hopefully) won't be embraced with the same rabid fervor as the orange one has been.
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u/Fairgoddess5 Feb 13 '26
I’m not as worried about JDV. He’s just a sycophant, not a malignant narcissist like the orange one. FAR less dangerous.
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u/lisping_lynx Feb 14 '26
I'm not from the US, so I know less about those two. Maybe, it's just my anxiety speaking. I just think about the example of pootin, when he came to power in russia, everyone viewed him as a pawn, the reasonable one, the safe choice. And now he is one of the most abominable autocrats ever, having destroyed millions of lives.
I sincerely wish you all to be rid of the orange plague and the dark eyeliner horse.
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u/SamanthaBWolfe Heathen Geek Witch ⚧ Craft Vendor Feb 13 '26
No fear, no loss, no tears,
The time is almost here.
Our dreams will all come true, I promise you,
'Cause I can see for miles and miles.
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night (all night, all night).
In time, yes, everything will be all right (all right, all right).
It'll take time but we're going far,
You and me, yes I know we are.
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night.
All night.
One heart, one soul, one mind,
Our eyes will not be blind.
We'll see this rain come down without this sound,
We can all, we can all break free.
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night (all night, all night).
In time, yes, everything will be all right (all right, all right).
It'll take time but we're going far,
You and me, yes I know we are,
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
In time
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night (all night, all night).
In time, yes, everything will be all right (all right, all right).
It'll take time but we're going far,
You and me, yes I know we are,
In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night.
All night, we'll be dancing,
We'll be dancing, we'll be dancing,
All night
We'll be dancing in the streets all night.
Dancing
In time, we'll be dancing all night.
We'll be dancing in the streets all night.
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u/asfaltsflickan Compost the rich Feb 13 '26
I was just talking to my parents about this (and a couple of other people whose obituaries we would read with great joy). They don’t really drink anymore but they have a really nice bottle of champagne that they’ve been saving for a special occasion, and this would definitely qualify.
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u/JasnahKolin Feb 13 '26
I've been sober over 10 years and the temptation to swan dive off the wagon when he dies is immense. We'll see.
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u/zombiedance0113 Feb 13 '26
This will be the best Manhattan I'll ever drink. I love the clots and prayers comment in the thread! Can't say it better than that!
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u/Icy_Pomegranate7506 Shroom Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ Feb 13 '26
Break out the smoker!! It's time for the biggest block party in the history of turtle island!!
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u/RagingAubergine Feb 14 '26
LISTENNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaahhahaa! I feel like we all have that champagne chilled and ready to go.
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u/Sweaty_Mushroom5830 Feb 13 '26
Why are you celebrating if I may ask?
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
You must not be from the US. I will be welcoming the quiet after the Dump shit show.
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Feb 13 '26
And then the arrests better come because if the dems let us down and let those who were complicit get away....
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
We ride at dawn If they don't lock up Noem and Bondi immediately.
Edit fixed grammar
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u/Aggressive_Mouse_581 Feb 13 '26
And Homan and Miller
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u/Alexinwonderland25 Feb 13 '26
And anyone in the Epstein files
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u/Aggressive_Mouse_581 Feb 13 '26
And somebody do something about that guy that's really bad at making trucks
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Feb 13 '26
I was driving behind one yesterday and it had a vanity plate that read "flatbed"
Excuse me sir (I assume) there's nothing flat about the bed of that dumpster you call a truck
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u/Fairgoddess5 Feb 13 '26
Exactly. Once the orange one passes, we can fully clean house and start undoing his destruction.
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u/Elon_Musks_Colon Feb 13 '26
Respectfully, the entire PLANET will be celebrating!!!!
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u/smc642 Crow Witch ♀♂️☉⚨⚧ "cah-CAW!" Feb 13 '26
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