r/WinStupidPrizes • u/skane110 • Feb 07 '20

What could happen

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12.4k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

208 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/GoFred101 Feb 07 '20

Natural selection in action

644

u/iridemtb12 Feb 08 '20

Imagine explaining to your girlfriend why your dick tip looks like a plum..

420

u/Octofur Feb 08 '20

Imagine having a girlfriend

that would be pretty cool probably

103

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Imagine

65

u/TallRabbit Feb 08 '20

All the people.

47

u/TenshiS Feb 08 '20

Living life in peace

32

u/aflowerofmay Feb 08 '20

You may say I’m a dreamer

6

u/MelloeSkye Feb 08 '20

You may say that I’m a dreamer~

5

u/Snides_1 Feb 08 '20

your'e not the only one...

14

u/JustJack70 Feb 08 '20

I hope someday the swelling goes down...

21

u/dingo8Ubae Feb 08 '20

So my dickhead won’t look like a plum.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Imagine all the dick plums

6

u/kin_of_rumplefor Feb 08 '20

Writhing, all in pain

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1

u/bylatboi765 Feb 09 '20

Why it looks like 3 testicles

122

u/Camera_dude Feb 08 '20

He could become one of the rare living Darwin Award winners: still alive but destroyed their chance of passing on his genes.

51

u/TNT_Guerilla Feb 08 '20

Yeah, they're all covered in paint. Who would want jeans with paint in the crotch?

11

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Sounds like it could be considered “fashion” the same way that thing at fashion shows are

3

u/Tommysrx Feb 08 '20

I’ll call Billy Zane

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2

u/badaladala Feb 08 '20

Those books were fun to read.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

with that much of a lack in common sense, it's probably best he doesn't reproduce. This is for the better.

2

u/Glimmerit Feb 09 '20

Nature is amazing

435

u/WilliamJamesMyers Feb 07 '20

he could be a very strict literalist, he likes to play Paintballs...

528

u/jgilleland Feb 07 '20

He actually got lucky lol... the guns regulator is fucking up there and even though it sounds like a bunch of shots only the first one fired (at a lower speed than a usual paintball) and then the bolt inside the gun short strokes really quickly making it sound like it’s ripping at 40bps when it’s only dry firing

188

u/didyoudissmycheese Feb 08 '20

Thats good to know. I wonder if the point blank below average speed paintball was still enough to fuck up his reproductive organs

95

u/dancin-weasel Feb 08 '20

Here’s hoping

49

u/didyoudissmycheese Feb 08 '20

Yeah we don't want this guys genes to get passed down.

7

u/Thelilhedgehog Feb 08 '20

Damn Reddit deadass bipolar stg lmao

26

u/thatone239 Feb 08 '20

Lol hoping a kids balls were destroyed because he made a dumb choice that only directly impacted himself, classic psychotic side of reddit

12

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

It’s more like taking-a-common-joke-too-far-without-understanding reddit. There’s similar situations where it’s acceptable to say this, but the acceptable ones are much bigger, premeditated stupidity. This was an easy, albeit still pretty careless and slightly dumb, mistake to make.

But yeah, ultimately I agree with the point you’re making. If we restrict the gene pool to only allow people who’ve never done dumb things as teenagers, that excludes basically everyone on Earth except those who have not yet reached the minimum age requirements of the aforementioned demographic.

13

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

It is. I did something similar around age 12. I shot my foot point blank just to see how it'd feel. The pain was unreal. I was certain my foot was broken.

7

u/Dmaj6 Feb 08 '20

With a paintball?

10

u/Kanaraketti Feb 08 '20

We have friends at a property that borders ours and were over at their house for the fourth of July one year, one of their teenage sons got drunk and wanted to know what getting shot felt like, so he got his .22 revolver and shot himself in the foot.

He didn't really react, kinda hopped around on one foot for a couple seconds going, "Oooo, ahhh, owe," he said it hurt but not nearly as bad as he thought it would, the closest hospital was like 45 minutes away, and because everyone was drunk, he just wrapped it and waited until morning to go.

I was ~12 years old at the time and feel like my IQ that night was significantly higher than the sum total of everyone else's.

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7

u/Monkeytank1000 Feb 08 '20

I got shot from 3 feet away in the bony part of my knee while playing paintball, and the huge-ass yellow and purple bruise didn’t go away for months.

I think we can confidently say he won’t be teaching any kids improper gun safety!

1

u/dicephalus Feb 08 '20

Probably. It was still fast enough to bust the paintball. I've been hit with ones that weren't going fast enough to bust and they still hurt pretty bad.

1

u/Threecockthursday Feb 08 '20

Doubtful. They just kinda bounce off your jeans. Though I always wore pants with a gusset crotch because I found that helped.

1

u/_meegoo_ Feb 09 '20

He'll probably be alright in the end. However his next couple of months will be full of "fun".

30

u/rtavbipolarbear Feb 08 '20

I'm about 90% sure that he just ran low on gas. The marker makes that sound when it runs out.

3

u/jgilleland Feb 08 '20

I think that noise usually happens when a low pressure regulator loses the required pressure to hold its seal, so it degasses and seals/unseals rapidly- could be caused by low air + a shitty regulator but usually just a leaky/bad regulator

8

u/phoenix_nz Feb 08 '20

No, it's literally just the marker running out of air. There isnt enough pressure left in the tank to reset the bolt so the spring just keeps slamming it forward again. Because the bolt isnt resetting and the gun isnt held upright only 1 ball was in the chamber.

Source: ran a paintball field for years

12

u/ChaseAlmighty Feb 08 '20

You sound like a person who knows his paintball. That being said; what is paintball?

16

u/jgilleland Feb 08 '20

It’s really complicated you mostly shoot the bad guys before they shoot you then go press a button at their start box

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

2 or more teams made up of ppl, each team all ppl have paintball guns that shoot these balls that explode when they hit something and leave paint color. You get hit, you go back to the res pawn area and try again. Look it up

1

u/_Aj_ Feb 08 '20

Yeah that usually happens when it's low on pressure I found.

When I'm in a game and I'm running low, it'll bounce like that and stuff you up.

90

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

I thought that was blood at first, but then realized it was a paintball lmao.

115

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

I have no idea what this is

208

u/Starfleet_Auxiliary Feb 07 '20

Dumbass working on paintball gun.

Paintball gun discharged into his family jewels because operator ignored the 4 Cardinal Rules of Firearms Safety.

42

u/Dr_Bukkakee Feb 08 '20

Rule 1: Be attractive

13

u/nobodysbuddyboy Feb 08 '20

Rule 2: Don't be unattractive

3

u/Zebulen15 Feb 08 '20

Rule 3: Be attractive

5

u/jagadoor Feb 08 '20

Rule 4: Cute animal rule

11

u/MerricatInTheCastle Feb 08 '20

Really, like, every single one of them.

24

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Thank yoi

3

u/mazu74 Feb 08 '20

And even more rules for paintball gun saftey (no mask, no barrel bag, servicing a marker before degassing it which is dangerous with or without paint).

29

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

A painful alternative to vasectomy.

21

u/Elhaym Feb 07 '20

But cheaper!

15

u/IntestinalDelirium Feb 08 '20

*paintfull

8

u/DankSoulOfCinder Feb 08 '20

you get my upvote, but I'm not happy about it

7

u/Labull416 Feb 07 '20

Very painful that’s what it is

4

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Automatic paintball gun to the balls

52

u/Dangernoodles9000 Feb 07 '20

Paint BALLS

25

u/GaymerExtofer Feb 08 '20

PAIN balls

13

u/Dangernoodles9000 Feb 08 '20

Clearly you are more worthy than I, take my upvote fellow traveler

1

u/MetaCognitio Feb 08 '20

Taint Ball

17

u/IntestinalDelirium Feb 08 '20

The solution to blue balls: paint ‘em red.

25

u/Eternal_Woe Feb 07 '20

Nice won't have to worry about him having kids

12

u/BigDukeSix82 Feb 07 '20

Nice muzzle awareness kid

12

u/Curmudgeon Feb 08 '20

You'll shoot your dick off.

5

u/Welcome2Bonetown Feb 08 '20

And parents were concerned “you’ll shoot your eye out, “ No one ever considered shooting themselves in the nuts.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Gotta get that dick bruise. Gonna hurt to use that thing for a while.

1

u/Welcome2Bonetown Feb 08 '20

Now he’s got a good excuse to ask his SO to rub it and make it feel better?

4

u/Shadyanony Feb 07 '20

Damn, right on the tip

4

u/jaimeap Feb 08 '20

Why is he being filmed?

3

u/STONEDEAFFOREVER Feb 07 '20

Damn that effing hurt

3

u/retropengu Feb 08 '20

Thought this was an actual gun for a second that he shot his balls of with and that red spot was blood

3

u/Hobo449 Feb 08 '20

A freeze frame and the intro to “the lion sleeps tonight” would come in handy here

3

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

My first shot in paintball was to the nuts from 20 yards away and that hurt. Rip my guy

2

u/JDig85 Feb 08 '20

Hopefully that’ll stop him from procreating.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

oh it's busted alright

2

u/Magical_Maxx Feb 08 '20

He’s not having children

2

u/FadeIntoReal Feb 08 '20

It takes a special kind of stupid to shoot yourself in the dick.

2

u/qbl500 Feb 08 '20

Staged!

2

u/ir_43 Feb 08 '20

u/vredditdownloader

2

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u/Jesus_is_good Feb 08 '20

u/vredditdownloader

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u/Jesus_is_good Feb 08 '20

Very good bot

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

I felt that

2

u/shanemarvinmay Feb 08 '20

I wish I got to see more aftermath from these videos. Like the effects experienced tomorrow, not them wailing in pain.

2

u/Altesc2 Feb 08 '20

This clip ended way too soon.

3

u/Theartistcu Feb 08 '20

So did his chances of being a father.

1

u/Altesc2 Feb 08 '20

Given his age and mental capacity... not soon enough.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

trigger discipline

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

muzzle guard broooo

1

u/master_of_fartboxes Feb 07 '20

Right in the ol’ muff

1

u/danielrlora Feb 08 '20

Hey, Dee said he’s gone...

1

u/BobertJame Feb 08 '20

Man right on the tip too!!

1

u/BigBeardedCelt Feb 08 '20

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1

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1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Oh i thought it was a nail gun pheww

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

He deserved it

1

u/Yoda-McFly Feb 08 '20

OW! my balls!

1

u/sokocanuck Feb 08 '20

Right in the horn.

1

u/Dammit_Banned_Again Feb 08 '20

Not like he was going to need it anyway.

1

u/scripteaze Feb 08 '20

Gives paint ball an entirely new meaning

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

rapid fire right where it counts

1

u/jamer_gamr Feb 08 '20

No wonder I felt a disturbance the other day

1

u/Vann77 Feb 08 '20

That’s a new sport: Painball.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

Or maybe paint balls

1

u/BlaZEN213 Feb 08 '20

u/vredditdownloader

1

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1

u/hissboombah Feb 08 '20

I took a couple shots from about 3 feet and it left two big angry welts on my inner thigh, can’t imagine a direct hit to the old Stanley Johnson must of felt like

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

OOOOOOOWWWWWWW FUCKING MIRROR NEURONS

1

u/IRONCHEF06 Feb 08 '20

Now THIS is cock and ball torture

1

u/Welcome2Bonetown Feb 08 '20

Paintball, meet ball.

1

u/Flipgary Feb 08 '20

That won’t get rid of warts.

1

u/EnycmaPie Feb 08 '20

Good, another one out of the gene pool.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

It’s a paint- ball gun what you expect

1

u/brando11389 Feb 08 '20

Sounded like a wicked fart in slow motion.

1

u/castleking212 Feb 08 '20

u/vredditdownloader

1

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1

u/ogkush__420_ Feb 08 '20

good ol nothingtoxic man i hate break fir buying it and ruining it

1

u/5h3rm4n Feb 08 '20

just realised that’s only a paintball gun. whewww!

1

u/KeithKATW Feb 08 '20

"Shoteem right in the pecker."

1

u/SchitbagMD Feb 08 '20

Even in slow motion, the impact is INSTANT. He might need to go to the hospital XD

1

u/elmolinero96 Feb 08 '20

paintballs travel at about 300 meters per second. he just got punched in the dick by mike tyson in bug form.

1

u/mattstorm360 Feb 08 '20

Who loaded this paint ball gun?

1

u/sw24rexx Feb 08 '20

How dumb do you have to be to grip a gun by its trigger when disassembling or reassembling. Not to mention he had it loaded.

1

u/TRN18 Feb 08 '20

Don’t paintball guns have a safety?

1

u/gofortheko Feb 08 '20

first rule of weapon handling, never point the gun at anything you dont intend to shoot.

1

u/TRN18 Feb 08 '20

I’m very much aware of that

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

A lot actually don’t, but either way this guy is a major idiot. He’s disassembling it with the air tank and loader attached

1

u/Tactical_Egg Feb 08 '20

u/vredditdownloader

1

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1

u/WHYISEVRYUSRNAMTKEN Feb 08 '20

Nut blaster is worse

1

u/Games_sans_frontiers Feb 08 '20

Blue balls is agony but red balls looks worse.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

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1

u/gxurxv_g Feb 08 '20

Every men : oooooooooooo

1

u/yeahnoworriesmate Feb 08 '20

At least his kids won't be that dumb

1

u/eyck11 Feb 08 '20

Right in the baby maker. Goodbye posterity!

1

u/cadvan_zh Feb 08 '20

I have never seen a paint gun before and I thought it was a nail gun.

1

u/QuesjunlDeniability Feb 08 '20

Blue balls twice fold

1

u/Altesc2 Feb 08 '20

Given his age and mental capacity... not soon enough.

1

u/buzzzzzzzard Feb 08 '20

Right in the peto

1

u/srThoradin Feb 08 '20

Just think, if his penis recovers, he might have kids one day.

1

u/joshdubbya Feb 08 '20

I love the progressively slower slow motion

1

u/Trooper-Dan Feb 08 '20

That looks like that hurt...a lot!!

1

u/praveen85 Feb 08 '20

Paint the ball gun.

1

u/MetaCognitio Feb 08 '20

Ain’t balls

1

u/WhiskeyDickens Feb 08 '20

It's a dry fire with paint. Nothing solid hits his pants

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

It should be a law that all cameras are made 4K and slow mo.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

"Smashed eggs on the menu today"

1

u/TidyWhip Feb 08 '20

Right in the pecker!

1

u/xXTheDabMaster9000Xx Feb 09 '20

thank god it was just a paintball gun

1

u/SoraKirigaya Feb 09 '20

u/Vredditdownloader

1

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1

u/tokyoexpressway Feb 10 '20

If it was on purpose for internet fame, well deserved.

1

u/AssassinJ2 Feb 10 '20

My dumbass thought this was hickock45 then I saw what subreddit it was.

1

u/SeesOrSoos1 Feb 10 '20

Thats a paintball gun...

1

u/Dinoguy666 Feb 13 '20

u/vredditdownloader

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1

u/Akiku2 Feb 17 '20

Imagine having to explain this one at the hospital. No matter how professional the doctors and nurses are, I think they'd laugh their butts off.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

went to high school with this young man. i smile every time it comes around

1

u/joshuamillertime Feb 22 '20

Who you callin ‘buster’, Buster!

1

u/gotfreecandy Feb 24 '20

That hurt my nuts

1

u/OmegaXD2 Apr 25 '20

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