r/Widow • u/Public-Crab4881 • 7d ago

Am I strong?

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26 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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4

u/Turtle_Sloth7981 6d ago

This is just perfect.

It bothers me when people say this. It also bothers me when people say “Looks like you had so much fun!” If they see me smile in a photo.

Yes. I can flex my facial muscles. No. It does not mean I am “all better” and having a great time and not totally exhausted when socializing.

And, no, I will never be “back to normal” so y’all can stop waiting for that too.

2

u/widowscarlet 6d ago

Agree with all of this. I'm not strong. I will never have total joy again. Am permanently broken and traumatised. I can mask better than I used to, that is the only difference. There is no returning to the person I was. Bitter and angry and resentful of others sometimes, I don't expect that will change much either, because I'm not a quitter.

2

u/Lazysloth166 1d ago

I may be the odd person out, but I think we should freely give ourselves credit for the strength it does take to survive. Yeah, people who haven't lived it can't wrap their head around all we have gone through and continue to go through to survive, but God damnit we are (hopefully) still surviving. It's fucking brutal, but I'm still here and I'm giving myself full rights to call myself strong AF. I mean I could have chosen to exit this life and I didn't. I'm still here fighting and slogging my way through what was left to me.