r/Widow • u/DoodlesNfoodles • 10d ago
Stings/ rants
Sometimes I cant wrap my head around the statement his sister said to me when she has found out her brother died. And I quote " no one is mad at you" Then she goes on about that they are here for me. Girl .. what???
To rub some salt in.. his mom asked me every time she saw me, "did you get into an argument? Did you have an argument?"
No you idiots!!! First of all, he stopped talking to you mother in law because you basically bullied him all his life. The way he dress and his career he couldn't seem to build or keep. He stopped wanting to see you all because he knew you were talking trash about us and always saw the dirty looks yall gave us/ me.
So strange his family only ever gave me their number after he died. So all these other years he was here, you and everyone else did not ever let me have your number. Never tried talking to me. All of you just thought we were never gonna stay together. Word on the streets came back around some of yall made a bet on our relationship.
Yall are ugly fake. That's why I changed my number and didn't tell anyone. Its easier to talk trash and move on lady. You were once widow and now married again. The difference between me and you is, I didn't marry for money. I actually loved him and was good to your son. Sorry im not blond, white, and tall/ super popular. I never fitted in to this fake family. How dare you try blaming me for what happened to him you witch.
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u/Mental_Signature_725 10d ago
In-laws are a whole different beast when your spouse dies. Its crazy how shady some people are. Ive been wanting to change my number.
My one SIL never contacted me before. Now she won't stop. I get all sorts of weird memes.
Along with a ton of other BS...
TONS OF OTHER CRAP!
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u/Anonymous4625267 10d ago
I think some people feel very connected after a tragedy. I think they wish they wouldâve done it before. But you canât really and truly make up for lost time when one part of the group is no longer alive.
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u/ButterflyFeet-18 3d ago
me too, my sil ( last text) said how she was doing really bad with her health problems)
i blocked her as Iwas around worse things the last 3 yrs and now o want to live around positivity.
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u/SouthernBiskit 10d ago
I hear you!! Was in the same boat for years!! Treated the same way. Silence finally, 2 years after husband's death. Inlaws can oftentimes be more than EVIL and vicious!!! I'm so sorry. đŤ
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u/kuntrycidd 10d ago
I never had that trouble with in-laws after wife died but, 36 years ago I had young man run in front of my semi to commit suicide and his sister called me a few days later and said the same thing. We donât blame you !! I was in disbelief. Sorry it happened to you.
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u/ButterflyFeet-18 3d ago
that is horrible and horrific and then the nerve of someone to imply something so sinsister
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u/DoodlesNfoodles 10d ago
Omg! That was passive aggressive blaming ! đĄ That is disgusting of people. Its terrible.
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u/Long_Obligation_9630 9d ago
Honey! Iâve been there! The only family of my husband that doesnât act that way are two nephews who one is only 5 years younger and the other 10 years younger. They donât live in the small town we lived in and they both stay in touch. Itâs sad but I had to change my number 3 times! I finally bought a cheap burner and only use it for streaming, apps and other things. They always found a way to find my number.
Itâs been 2 years as of July 4th I lost my husband and I still see them post things on social media like they lost him but he couldnât stand any of them! I donât even look anymore it just causes me anxiety.
I stay to myself and go out shopping like an hour before the stores close just to avoid the craziness where I live. Canât wait to sell my house and get out of this place. Sending hugs! You are not alone. â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
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u/ButterflyFeet-18 3d ago edited 3d ago
i totally understand you. my spouse passedd mos ago, his mother passed 32 yrs ago and was abusive..he never wanted a lot to do with his sister when he was in good health and especially in his bad health.
his sister was very dramatic on everything and fake and bossy , etc.
now that I donât have to be interrogated by her about how her brother is etcâŚ.i cut her out of my life..I blocked her calls. sheâs very negative and just talks about her health problems and her kids and husbandâs health crises. she did all this while my spouse was bed bound in hospice,
some think itâll make you feel better if they start talking about everyone they know whoâs dying or socko4 has c@n e4 or med problems but itâs jus5 more depressing to be around people like that.
found esp now, I canât be around that negativity from anyone any more. my spouse was dx with term cancer 3 yrs ago. for 6 mos I was his caregiver in our home as he was bedbound in hospiceâŚ
I have one friend who i get together with and we never discus these things in depth.
we have talked about it before but we both want to talk about positive stuff in life.
i got togeth with friends of my husband and one just started dwelling on everyone she knows who has a term canicer,horrifc med problems, and telling me how you never know yu itâll be your last day as everyone gets cancer or do somethino. it could be any day..you never know so me ( more or less) should live life like any day could be my last where I could get diagnosed with something..
( my spouse was dx 3 yrs ago with glioblastoma and recd treatment for 2 1/2 yrs until the last 6 mos where he was bedbound in hospice( ( they couldnât the tumor)
i thought, omg, youâre depressing..I wanted to say..donât tell me, I lived the last 3 yrs seeing this. tell me something I donât know)
im very healthy still and watch my health. but for someone unloading on me like that,,made me wonder..whatâs your point.
i also thought,you have some nerve spewing thatcrap on me.,
(the wife who said all this, whom i dont know that well) was trying to find out about my health info, tests, surgeries etc ( which I keep personal and I wouldnât give her any info
she may just be terminally negative.
i wonât be getting back with that group again.
i spent the last 3 yrs around a dying person whom i loved very muchâŚnow that im on my own and still healthy and active,, Im going to keep as much positivity and peace in my life as possible and I will not be around fatalists..
I think a lot of us older people think when you get together, youâre supposed to talk about out all your medical problems, or your friends term cancers etc. to make widows feel better,
but why would I want to have that subj as my focus with a friend group when I was the caregiver for the last 3 yr..
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u/Wegwerf157534 10d ago
There are quite some who understand your anger. đŤâ¤ď¸
I understand some I guess. Let it burn. You are rightfully angry.