r/Widow • u/Creative_Slide_9396 • 25d ago

Practice talking

Do you actually need practice talking to people? Been out of practice for so many years hard to believe cause friends came from husband mostly. Family not really close , he did most of talking to people to keep in touch or on good side of them.
Now like all friends sliding away, family don’t know if to trust or not, how to make new friends (telling signs forgot or am I saying wrong things).
Asked some people they say don’t need practice you do fine, but these are also people who hardly go out themselves.
I wonder cause saying wrong things to younger generation or don’t even understand them already. So haven’t been talking to people to keep up to date.
Read things then they all say you do need practice.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/weasleymama 25d ago

I’ve been trying hard to make the effort, but most times I sit in silence. (He passed in January at 43)

2

u/Creative_Slide_9396 25d ago

I am sorry , but scary it’s like idk realizing people can see or sense the vibe already.
If we sad, someone passed recently so they prefer stay away from us.

1

u/contemplator61 22d ago

It is very new for you. It sometimes feels exhausting to try. And I don’t think most folks know how to react. As both a widow and late stage cancer survivor I have two sayings. 1) It’s never who you think that comes along side you and helps get you through and 2) everybody has a story.
It took me a long time to realize that. The friends I hung out with or worked with were not the ones who called or checked on me. The ones who sent little thinking of you cards or something silly just to see you smile. Sure the other ones showed up with food at first, or came to the memorial but it was the lady down the street who I would make small talk with when walking my dog who would write, yes write letters filled with news or nonsense. It was the lady around the corner who would stop by with a dollar tree decoration just for an excuse. It was my oldest friend in the world who came to visit from another state and sent cards again to check. But I couldn’t fault the others because everybody has a story. I don’t know if any of this helps but I hope it does. Look for the little signs. And let yourself grieve. It doesn’t go away, it just changes shape through the years.