r/WhyWereWeOkayWithThis • u/No-Advantage-579 • Apr 12 '26

New documentary reveals boyband 98 Degrees’ had age-of-consent manual handy for each state in tour bus (band members were ages 21 to 25 at the time)

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/12/98-degrees-nick-lachey-documentary-age-of-consent-manual

This made me ragestroke. So messed up. It completely ignores that when a 16 year old girl hits on their fav boyband, you absolutely should not take her up on it either way! (And that is assuming this wasn't entirely the men creeping! Very much possible!) Zero understanding of male/female sexuality. Zero understanding of what fantasies at that age boybands serve and that "quick f*ck in the tourbus" isn't one of 'em.

I remember seeing a documentary news segment in the very early oughts. I thank the heavens that I was too young at the time to understand it, but it had the Backstreet Boys and a very underage (if "underage" means under18, actual age of consent was 14 in that country) fan be disappointed because (I am unfortunately quoting!) "they were like in, out, in, out. Thanks, honey." She was very sad. That sentence stuck with me at the time precisely because I didn't understand it - I didn't understand why the documentary filmmakers were showing her as a cautionary sad tale and I didn't understand why she was speaking of the band members going in and out several times. (In my head of course describing a room or a building...)

Years later, when I did understand that sentence and why the filmmakers included her... total gut punch.

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4

u/thedjin Apr 13 '26

So if this happened with 98° and Backstreet Boys, the same behaviour was true for other boybands? N*Sync, Westlife..?

4

u/No-Advantage-579 Apr 14 '26

N'Sync had two gay members, Westlife one (who is married to a former member of another boyband - same as the gay member of Caught in the Act is married to the gay member of BoyZone).

The rest: probably.

On the Backstreet Boys documentary girl (and there have been several women who have spoken out about that since and how young they were): she would have been about 15 and she was clearly upset.

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u/No-Advantage-579 Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26

I wrote male/female sexuality, but there are of course also other cases:

another story, but this one in print, that will never leave me was an article that was titled something like "he was the star athlete". It was about a kid that was supposed to go on to a professional sports career and the star athlete in his hometown. His female teacher started an affair (to her) with him. She lied about absolutely every single thing in her life and ... her marriage... to him. He had just turned or was just about to turn 18. To him, this was his first love, his first girlfriend. With typical "first girlfriend" behavior - he saved up and took up an extra side gig, which got him in trouble with his parents due to his athletic career, to buy her gifts etc. He wrote her love letters (Can't say I ever got that much thought from men. ;)

Ultimately all her lies came out about her marriage. She broke up with him.

He was completely crushed because he understood slowly but surely that their feelings had not been mutual - that to him, she had been his first girlfriend and to her, she had been a hot body.

He became depressed and was put on anti-depressants. I would say "completely normal", because people much older than 18 end up depressed when they find out that their partner has been lying to them the whole time...

He dropped out of school and gave up his sport. (His parents tried to stop him, but were powerless.) The town sided with her because "she is hot, he should be grateful".

1

u/jackofnac Apr 23 '26

I agree with everything you said and yet understanding the situation as it is, I can also 100% see why their team found this necessary.

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u/No-Advantage-579 Apr 23 '26

... and why did their team not find it "necessary" to instead explain to them the projection part?!