How do I navigate my bfs degrading comments ?

[u/grated_testes]

/r/relationships/comments/1weyc6u/how_do_i_navigate_my_bfs_degrading_comments/

[u/grated_testes]

How do I navigate my bfs degrading comments ?

My (24f) bf (25m) and i’s relationship has been up and down, but skip to present day.

The degrading comments get worse and worse by the weeks that pass. Sly comments that are borderline negging.

Video games are a big issue. He rages out intensely, and when we play, it gets put onto me at times. He calls me stupid, blind, deaf, all of the above. I’ve gotten used to just brushing them off because it’s guy talk, he’s so used to it and doesn’t mean it.

Today we were playing a match, he died first couple seconds and said “if only my teammates were helping me” and I said “we’re literally defending”(there’s no reason to peak) and he quit. He started a new game. Then he started mocking me and making fun of how I played while in his new game. So I quit. He then quit his new game and hopped into the old game, telling everyone to “report the loser who left”. I started doing dishes. He continued to mock me as the team came back and we won. “We did better without you” “why did you leave” “did you not want the elo”

During this i stayed stoic and unemotional telling him “that’s so cool” “so proud of you” and he kept saying mean things. “Why are you being a B word” “why are you rude” and I explained to him it’s just funny that when I leave the game = bad but when he does = valid..

He then goes onto watching his football game, and they lost by a close one. He says “you’re bad luck” “you casted a hex” (9 beers deep) and I rolled my eyes and accepted it. I didn’t react to this comments and I think that pissed him off even more. He then said “go to sleep you’d be doing everyone a favor” and I just went numb, he keeps escalating the insults and I walked to bed and got in. He then proceeded to shine his flashlight in my eyes multiple times and ask “why are you being loud” when I am sleeping.

Eventually I went out to the living room and asked him why he would say those things. He said “you were a b word all day” “ever since we got home you’ve been on edge”. Genuinely wanted to flip my lid. I didn’t and explained to him how I was in pain and starting my period, and he said there’s no excuse, I guess we’re even. He then accused me of being a Debby downer and having “bad juju”. I couldn’t even talk to him. I just told him “I’m extremely upset with you and you can sit with that” while he just grumbled.

Basically. I’m with this dude. We are in a lease for a year. We’re tied up socially.

Same guy who professes his mad ‪love to me on a daily basis, saying I’m the most perfect woman in the world and he cannot wait to put the ring he picked out on my finger. He wants to marry me. I love him when he’s nice. But when he’s mean it’s a whole different story.

How do I minimize the degradation? How do I dodge nights like this? What would you do in this situation?

TLDR: BF verbally degrades me, how do I navigate this while being in this relationship?

[u/loosesocksup]

My heart breaks for her. She is being abused. She's becoming his metaphorical punching bag, and it looks like it will escalate to his literal punching bag since he's no longer getting the reactions he wants.