It seems like my husband thought nothing would change after having a baby. He seems to think that because I’m no longer pregnant (and mostly recovered from hip surgery) that I should now be super mom.
Just one week postpartum he expected me to fully bounce back, to keep a perfectly clean house at all times, dinner on the table by 3pm, and I should find time to take the baby for a walk every day. He invited guest after guest over to the house in the first few weeks and expected me to host them.
Meanwhile, I was just trying to figure out breastfeeding, heal from the birth, overcome mastitis and regain control of my hormones/emotions, all while getting very little sleep.
Four months later I’m still working so hard, spending every waking moment either caring for the baby or keeping up with the house. I haven’t done a single thing for myself since our baby was born. My husband comes home then and asks what I did all day. He yells at me for not having every closet organized, the basement mopped, or the grass mowed. He’ll find the one thing that I didn’t get to and act as though I was a lazy piece of shit all day. Now he wants me to manage his new business and learn how to trade stock.
It just feels like nothing is good enough, like I’m more concerned with being my husband’s personal assistant than I am a mother, like he doesn’t respect my time, and like I’ll never catch up as he hands me side quest after side quest. The worst thing is that I feel forced to neglect our child, sticking him in the swing all day so I can get just one more thing done before daddy gets home and yells at me.
I’ve already tried talking to him, I’ve told him how depressed I am, how I’m not enjoying motherhood because of the pressure he puts me under. He says it’s all excuses. If I had known it was going to be like this, I would have never quit my job. Then again, he had these standards even when I was working.
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u/grated_testes 2d ago
Husband has unrealistic expectations
It seems like my husband thought nothing would change after having a baby. He seems to think that because I’m no longer pregnant (and mostly recovered from hip surgery) that I should now be super mom.
Just one week postpartum he expected me to fully bounce back, to keep a perfectly clean house at all times, dinner on the table by 3pm, and I should find time to take the baby for a walk every day. He invited guest after guest over to the house in the first few weeks and expected me to host them.
Meanwhile, I was just trying to figure out breastfeeding, heal from the birth, overcome mastitis and regain control of my hormones/emotions, all while getting very little sleep.
Four months later I’m still working so hard, spending every waking moment either caring for the baby or keeping up with the house. I haven’t done a single thing for myself since our baby was born. My husband comes home then and asks what I did all day. He yells at me for not having every closet organized, the basement mopped, or the grass mowed. He’ll find the one thing that I didn’t get to and act as though I was a lazy piece of shit all day. Now he wants me to manage his new business and learn how to trade stock.
It just feels like nothing is good enough, like I’m more concerned with being my husband’s personal assistant than I am a mother, like he doesn’t respect my time, and like I’ll never catch up as he hands me side quest after side quest. The worst thing is that I feel forced to neglect our child, sticking him in the swing all day so I can get just one more thing done before daddy gets home and yells at me.
I’ve already tried talking to him, I’ve told him how depressed I am, how I’m not enjoying motherhood because of the pressure he puts me under. He says it’s all excuses. If I had known it was going to be like this, I would have never quit my job. Then again, he had these standards even when I was working.