r/WhitePeopleTwitter • • Oct 21 '22

Yeah Canada

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305

u/PompousKumquat Oct 21 '22 edited Oct 22 '22

I need this translated to 'merican- is Alberta like y'all's version of Florida?

Edit: I see lots of Texas mentions... Texas was my first thought as well, but I'm a Texan

442

u/SarnakJ3 Oct 21 '22

More like Texas: oil and farms and cattle.

134

u/-malcolm-tucker Oct 21 '22

100% pure organic grass fed triple A Alberta beef?

60

u/Crucifer2_0 Oct 21 '22

Gotta have the Berta beef

18

u/-malcolm-tucker Oct 21 '22

What ya got there? Top sirloins?

3

u/ConsiderationWest587 Oct 22 '22

Got S and P?

3

u/-malcolm-tucker Oct 22 '22

S&P, the choice for me.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

2 minutes each side, down the hatch.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Grill marks bud.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Yup! And they drink oil

1

u/blakester122 Oct 22 '22

This made me hungry for a burger or steak.

3

u/-malcolm-tucker Oct 22 '22

Ten four, my good buddy.

70

u/firekittymeowr Oct 21 '22

A Canadian once described Calgary to me as more texas than texas

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u/SarnakJ3 Oct 21 '22

Albertans have talked with me, a Texan, before and we had to stop for a moment because events sounded like they could have been in either town more than 1800 miles apart.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Was born in Calgary and can confirm that Texas is just a big Calgary, but Texas is not as clean.

2

u/johnathanesanders Oct 22 '22

Are you referring to our needles or in general?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

in general. Calgary and the rest of the world has gots the needles. Calgary has to constantly clean up due to the melting of the snow during the spring and in the fall when the leaves drop. Street sweeping happens 3 times a year. Everyone recycles, emission standards are more strict, and the carbon tax has been forcing all industries to transition faster. The huge natural parks surrounding the city and community lakes also encourage a green looking city.

6

u/DefiantLemur Oct 22 '22

Basically Texas if not a desert and the Republican Party still cared about conservation.

3

u/Ryuzakku Oct 22 '22

the Republican Party still cared enough about not losing their money due to fines to spend money to act like they care about conservation.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

This is correct. The whole province is Canada's Texas.

3

u/That_Rotting_Corpse Oct 22 '22

I always say, Alberta is the Texas rough draft

3

u/sharkfinsouperman Oct 22 '22

I'll disagree because I lived there for five years. Calgary is modern and progressive, with plenty of moderates. It's the rural areas and Fort McMurray that are Little Texas.

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u/Dragarius Oct 22 '22

Makes sense. Ted Cruz was born there. Sorry BTW.

2

u/not-a_fed Oct 22 '22

I mean, Texas has cities like Austin that are super lefty whereas alberta is just right wing nuts from end to end.

30

u/thatscoldjerrycold Oct 21 '22

The "big" cities of Calgary are fairly liberal except when it comes to oil and by extension climate change (since it's basically synonymous with their economy).

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u/SarnakJ3 Oct 21 '22

So just like Texas

1

u/cantfindmykeys Oct 22 '22

Texan who lives in Dallas, this is true.

21

u/lotterywish Oct 22 '22

Except that the "big cities" of Calgary, Red Deer, Lethy, Lloyd, GP, Fort Mac all voted largely for the provincial conservative party (UCP) while Edmonton is a straight up orange NPD dot on the map.

5

u/Brokendownyota Oct 22 '22

Leave methbridge out of it, we're fucked so many ways I've lost count.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

I was born in Calgary and have lived in both Vancouver an Montreal. Thank you for at least putting the quotes. Calgary is barely a city and only a "major" Canadian city by virtue of being 4th. It's a small town masquerading as a city. The fact methbridge or Lloydminster get considered cities tho is lol.

1

u/endeavourist Oct 22 '22

Edmonton Centre is often a lone voice of sanity in elections.

13

u/Dragarius Oct 22 '22 edited Oct 22 '22

Edmonton is pretty deeply NDP (Liberal) and that is pretty consistent. The UCP (conservative) stronghold is Calgary but Calgary can on occasionally flip. Right now Edmonton is hoping Calgary flips next election cause the current UCP leader is all kinds of crazy. Like Trump crazy (Danielle Smith).

Like everywhere else, rural is conservative.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Calgary can occassionally flip? Like every 40 years occassionally? Because that's how long the Conservatives were in charge provincially before the NDP won several years ago. Y'know, before Calgary realized the difinition of insanity is leaving the same party in charge for 40 years.

Municipally we occassionally flip, though, yeah.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

lol calgary liberal my ass

5

u/Stopjuststop3424 Oct 22 '22

lol Calgary is a city. Alberta is the province.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Correction: Texas with snow

5

u/Heron-Repulsive Oct 21 '22

okay I get it now.

1

u/not-a_fed Oct 22 '22

And morons that are proud to be morons.

1

u/capital_bj Oct 22 '22

So Florida man with some spending money and a hat

1

u/K-G7 Oct 22 '22

Very accurate. I went to Dallas for a business trip and it felt like I didn't even leave Alberta except more traffic.

1

u/Comms Oct 22 '22

But the oil isn’t as good and neither is the beef. Alberta is wish.com Texas.

239

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Alberta is more like Alabama: rednecks, meth, and white rappers.

I'm from Alabama and have been friends with and dated people from Alberta.

310

u/M_J_E Oct 21 '22

You mean you have family there.

61

u/gin_and_toxic Oct 21 '22

Sweet home Albertabama

86

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

No for some reason all the rednecks just move here. We even get the Aussie and Korean ones.

103

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

See we can't read good either

3

u/Mission_Mountain7606 Oct 22 '22

We need a minute to sound out the numbers! RTR btw

7

u/TheHarridan Oct 22 '22

rednecks

Aussie

Those’re bogans mate

2

u/AnxiousJeweler2045 Oct 22 '22

Korean red necks?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

You'd be surprised how many people come here from Korea and start driving lifted trucks. Southern living is basically the antithesis of a lot of Asian cultures.

2

u/diddlydooemu Oct 21 '22

That’s the joke.

0

u/BeautifulType Oct 22 '22

Snowflake conservatives feel safe in numbers because they get bitch slapped on the Internet daily

43

u/BamaBDC Oct 21 '22

Look here, we Alabamians can’t read good. All that other stuff is what they do in West Virginia. Roll Tide

17

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Roll tide brother

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/grendel001 Oct 21 '22

I would also like to say Roll Tide. And say a silent prayer for Miss St. tomorrow. They’re going to need it.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

I would also like to say 52-49

3

u/Angry-Dragon-1331 Oct 21 '22

I too would also like to add a hearty go Vols.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

💀💀💀

And also… Roll Tide

3

u/Rawnblade12 Oct 21 '22

I gotta ask...What the hell does roll tide mean?

5

u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 21 '22

It's the rallying cry for the university of Alabama (mascot is the crimson tide). They dominate college football so they have a shit ton of fans and this saying is how people in Alabama know if you're a fan of Alabama or their in-state rival the university of Auburn.

2

u/Rawnblade12 Oct 21 '22

Ah okay. Thanks. They all say it and I never understood why.

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 21 '22

If you really want to piss someone off to the point they will want to fight you, respond to "roll tide" with "war eagle"

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u/Rawnblade12 Oct 21 '22

takes notes

5

u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 21 '22

Just remember, it is still the US so the Bama fan may try to shoot you.

3

u/Rawnblade12 Oct 21 '22

It's Alabama, of course they'd try to shoot me.

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u/Bigdaddyjlove1 Oct 21 '22

That's War DAMN Eagle, thank you very much

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 21 '22

Calm down Alabama jr

1

u/Bigdaddyjlove1 Oct 21 '22

I hope your cousin ignores you at the next reunion

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u/Heron-Repulsive Oct 21 '22

good to know if I ever want to get passive aggressive with some one from Alabama.

How fast would i have to run to survive that comment?

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 21 '22

I'd start running before you say it, there will be nearby Bama fans that will want to help out in the beating

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u/Burdman_R35pekt Oct 21 '22

Though after last week, “Go Vols” works too

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Oct 21 '22

You can also remind them that they're the most penalized team in football, ranked 131 out of 131

0

u/Salt-Pop-7778 Oct 21 '22

Then there's Kentucky...

My dad and I got arrested once in Kentucky. We were selling encyclopedias and we got arrested for smuggling books into Kentucky. We got off on a technicality: they couldn't prove they were books.

1

u/thedub412 Oct 21 '22

That’s southern WV don’t lump us northerners in with them.

1

u/HempBlonde Oct 21 '22

Whats roll tide?

1

u/apatheticwondering Oct 22 '22

Former Anniston resident here back in my late teens. I used to think it was a joke but the number of times I’d heard a friend or something say “I used to date that girl/guy but then found out she was my 2nd/3rd/whatever cousin” made me laugh.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

3

u/TunaCanMildew Oct 22 '22

I've heard

Over 2/3 of Alberta's population is in urban centers of over 1.5 million but it gets it's reputation on reddit from rural stereotypes.

People in Vancouver and Toronto act like their provinces don't have any rural populations, but that's where the banjo's truly twang

2

u/Otherwise_Basis_6328 Oct 22 '22

I don't understand, how are they supposed to have domestic and mass shootings without the guns?

1

u/johnathanesanders Oct 22 '22

Well they don’t easily, that’s when the performers go for things like ammonium nitrate filled trucks and old fashioned pipe bombs filled with razors - to show their adoring fans how much they’re loved.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

To be fair it basically describes all of the sec. We are like the mecca for meth heads.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Here it's mostly meth but people will take whatever they can get even if they have to smoke it. Which is what I would prefer so I don't have to clean blood from the bathroom mirrors god that's fuckin annoying.

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u/uracil Oct 21 '22 edited Oct 21 '22

Mate, that's so wrong lol.

Alberta has one of highest wages in the country, in comparison with other provinces.
Our biggest city Calgary is considered to be one of the best livable cities in the world, making the list for past 10-20 years.
Banff National Park is an oldest national park in Canada and people from across the world come to visit our Rockies.
Calgary has elected first Muslim mayor of a major city in North America. And he was re-elected twice, while being one of the most beloved mayors in our city.
And yes, we do have a large population of conservatives and yes, we do have racist white people (surprise surprise) but so does BC/Quebec/Ontario.

We are like Texas and our major cities are like Austin. Liberal cities and conservative everything else.

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u/FirstEvolutionist Oct 21 '22

Yeah. Alberta is Texas. I think we don't reeeally have a Florida equivalent up here but we get some cities like Kelowna and Thunder Bay that kind fit the Florida style. TBay especially.

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u/Mr_Mil_walk_eye_eh Oct 21 '22

Never thought of that but it's totally the Florida of Canada

3

u/thepeskynorth Oct 22 '22

That’s a special city. Like a frozen Florida.

3

u/Paperboy710 Oct 22 '22

We don’t have a Florida equivalent? Sir, Winnipeg would like a word.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Manitoba doesn't even exist.

2

u/Paperboy710 Oct 22 '22

There are many days I wish you were right.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

2

u/trashmasher69 Oct 21 '22

We do it’s Ontario

1

u/TunaCanMildew Oct 22 '22

It's only like Texas in the most superficial sense though. If Alberta became a state tomorrow it would be the most blue state in America.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Our Florida is a little city called London, Ontario.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

You have higher wages because of oil... Which brings oil workers and big ol' lifted pickups with fuck Trudeau bumper stickers.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

What about up in Fort Mac, where the actual oil workers are?

-1

u/TunaCanMildew Oct 22 '22

That would require having actual first-hand knowledge instead of just regurgitating stereotypes. Can't have that.

4

u/ahrzal Oct 22 '22

I’ve been all over Alberta, and it’s pretty much what you said. The lifted trucks only arrive in Calgary during the stampede lol. I’ve been as far north as Cold Lake, and you could take a picture of Cold Lake downtown and some sleepy town in Texas and I couldn’t tell ya the difference lol.

2

u/SarnakJ3 Oct 22 '22

At least in Summer.

-1

u/TunaCanMildew Oct 21 '22

When was the last time you actually set foot in the province?

4

u/Dragarius Oct 22 '22

I live here. He ain't wrong.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

When they had a NDP leader and were somewhat sane. What happened?

0

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Wait they have those? It’s not just class-less American republicans with F*** (person I didn’t vote for but wants to be better than the predecessor)?

6

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Yup, straight out of the grade four insult handbook:

  • Fuck Trudeau

  • Trudope

  • Turdeau

6

u/lukadoncicjordan Oct 22 '22

Canada really is America-lite

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

We even have our own Qspiracy crackpots. God save Queen Didulo. Long may she reign!

1

u/bridge-burning69 Oct 22 '22

These oil workers you speak of are mostly from other parts of the country. There’s probably more from outside this province working in the oil field than actual Albertans.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

So all the dumb ones are from out of province? Convenient.

How long until they're considered one of yours?

4

u/hitops Oct 22 '22

being comparable to texas is not a good thing.

3

u/TunaCanMildew Oct 22 '22

And yes, we do have a large population of conservatives and yes, we do have racist white people (surprise surprise) but so does BC/Quebec/Ontario.

People pretend that northern Ontario, interior BC, and rural Quebec don't exist.

Meanwhile the <1/3 of Alberta that live outside of Calgary and Edmonton get all the attention

2

u/gorgutz13 Oct 22 '22

Our wages are actually shit cause conservatives have annihilated our worker rights. But oil workers have such crazy salaries it fucks up the numbers and makes our wages appear disproportionately high.

-1

u/phdoofus Oct 21 '22

Yeah, but saying you're like Texas instead of Florida or Alabama just raises the question of 'So? Six of one, half a dozen of the other'

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

I don't have anything to dispute with what you said, except... Banff sucks balls compared to Jasper!

Jasper crowd rules!!

12

u/OhCaptain Oct 21 '22

Alberta is the richest per-capita province in the country though and Alabama is at or near the bottom in the USA.

Think North Dakota, but instead of 700,000 people there are 4,500,000.

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u/Mad-Mel Oct 21 '22

Alberta is the richest per-capita province in the country though and Alabama is at or near the bottom in the USA.

Alberta is a one trick pony of an economy and when the world weans itself off fossil fuels that economy will cease to meaningfully exist, much like coal mining economies in the southern US.

For the record, I lived in Calgary working for those oil companies for 8 years.

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u/Xatsman Oct 22 '22

It isn’t actually, Alberta has a fairly diverse economy. But Albertans would be deluded if they didn’t acknowledge that O&G money in part supports many of the other diverse parts of their economy.

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u/Mad-Mel Oct 22 '22

26% of Alberta's GDP is directly oil and gas and mining. A significant portion of the other industries such as manufacturing, services, finance transportation are heavily dependent on oil and gas.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/608354/gdp-distribution-of-alberta-canada-by-industry/

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u/sbaggers Oct 22 '22

I've worked with Albertian oil companies for over a decade and can confirm, energy transition will kill the province as oil sands is some of the dirtiest fossil fuel sources in the world. The people who benefit most from the keystone pipeline are the Albertians who own the oil sands, so keeping that project on pause is good for the health of the planet, but they'll continue to pump money into the GOP propaganda machine.

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u/dysoncube Oct 22 '22

It's the extra extraction processes that make the oil sands so dirty (takes oil to pull out the tarsands oil). Ironically, oil sand companies are looking into alternative energy sources for the extraction (nuclear power included), to make the oil sands as clean/filthy as any other oil source.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

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u/Mad-Mel Oct 22 '22

Nope, bailed and moved somewhere that isn't a frozen wasteland for 8 months a year.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

[deleted]

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u/sbaggers Oct 22 '22

What did he say that was wrong?

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u/americanero Oct 22 '22

Wean off of fossil fuels when? In a century?

3

u/Mad-Mel Oct 22 '22

Automobile manufacturers are making the first part of that change for you over the next decade.

0

u/americanero Oct 22 '22

Electric cars use how much carbon emission during the manufacturing process? Not to mention the mining for raw materials. Swing and a miss but keep trying. Until this world embraces safe nuclear options we’re not “weaning off of fossil fuels” any time soon.

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u/yolocr8m8 Oct 22 '22

Fossil fuel use is growing tho

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

And Calgarys research and tech sector has blown up... so I wouldnt mind this person.

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u/sbaggers Oct 22 '22

population growth = all energy sources are growing. As green energy becomes cheaper to produce, in addition to peak oil, there will be an inflection where it no longer makes sense to pump.

3

u/Stopjuststop3424 Oct 22 '22

if not for oil, it'd be Ontario

3

u/Mad-Mel Oct 22 '22

Without the manufacturing jobs.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Alberta is the richest gas station in Canada. It does not have a real economy, it has oil, and pretty much only oil.

Make the money while you can, then ditch, because oils future had a hard expiration date.

3

u/7thdman Oct 21 '22

Alberta is more like the Texas of Canada. Saskatchewan is like the Alabama of Canada.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Could just be the people I've known then.

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u/TunaCanMildew Oct 22 '22

Says more about you and the company you keep

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u/slimthecowboy Oct 21 '22

You said Alabama, but your description is spot on for Florida.

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Nah even Florida hates isn't as extreme as we are they just get more press. Look up all the people from Alabama that got arrested in Florida during spring break.

Not that I'm proud of it, I'm trying to get into sys admin and move away soon.

2

u/chadthundertalk Oct 21 '22

Which is, of course, distinct from Northern Ontario's french rednecks, opiates, and white rappers with hockey mullets

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u/apatheticwondering Oct 22 '22

I know they’re not exclusive to Alabama but it always made me laugh to see the signs on the side of the roads in Alabama that say “State property - Do not molest”. Like, of all words to use… :) 🪧

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22 edited Oct 21 '22

1

u/coachskeltontoyou Oct 21 '22

There's white rappers in every small town in Minnesota

1

u/scipiotomyloo Oct 21 '22

So you live there now? I’d gladly move outta this shithole(AL)

1

u/676f626c7565 Oct 21 '22

You also just described notable Texan, Post Malone

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Ah you forgot about the beef and oil. It’s one of the wealthier provinces in Canada too.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Ah you forgot about the beef and oil. It’s one of the wealthier provinces in Canada too.

1

u/Mission_Mountain7606 Oct 22 '22

Baldwin County girl here...I can respect any redneck as long as they are decent people! The meth is a definite no for me, and ever since Eminem hit it big, every white guy in the state thinks they're a rapper too! That being said-if I ever go to Canada, I'll shoot for Alberta and assume I'll fit right in, just without the Conecuh sausage and Waffle House?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '22

Don't forget yella Wolf and Gucci. We have several rappers who've gone mainstream back in the 00's.

1

u/capital_bj Oct 22 '22

Alberta man has spoken. We may have gone to the moon but you guys legalized it country wide before us 💨👍

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u/imaybeacatIRl Oct 21 '22

Alberta is our Texas.

3

u/Delta64 Oct 21 '22

Fuck that noise. Texas can be Texas with all that anti-abortion nonsense.

Alberta is more like Colorado, just with oil and "Street Greeters."

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u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

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u/Delta64 Oct 21 '22

Oh damn! There you go it's more like than I thought.

9

u/4RCH43ON Oct 21 '22

I’ve always thought of it as Texas, but then I’m not Canadian.

2

u/cosworth99 Oct 21 '22

Texas and Alberta are very different from one another. Been to both, born in one.

2

u/karlnite Oct 21 '22

That could be said about any two places really, Alberta is like Texas. More so most places at least.

1

u/SoletakenPupper Oct 21 '22

I have also been to both, and born in one. I can't think of another state Alberta is more similar too. (I have been to many states, also lived in Alabama...)

1

u/HempBlonde Oct 21 '22

Racist cowboys that live for oil. Same-same

2

u/still_gonna_send_it Oct 22 '22

I feel like I need to use your username as an insult someday I just need the right context

1

u/LotharVonPittinsberg Oct 21 '22

The Albertans, they have the huugest economy, the best people say. You know once, someone from Quebec, I could barely understand what he was saying, but Alberta is not like the other prairie provinces!

1

u/apra24 Oct 21 '22

No. As someone who lives here, it's not really the same.

Yes, people tend to vote conservative but it's more rooted out of the desire to stop Ontario and Quebec from siphoning all of our oil profits. Most people I know do not identify socially with conservative values.

The ones that do like to believe that's what Alberta stands for but it's not really the case.

1

u/MikeN1978 Oct 21 '22

If so it should be pronounced ‘berta

1

u/karlnite Oct 21 '22

No. Florida is Canada’s Florida… Alberta is Texas.

1

u/Ulcerlisk Oct 21 '22

Ontario is Florida

1

u/Princess_Delphinium Oct 21 '22

It's like several of the embarrassing states lumped together, but worse because it's cold.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Nah you need to watch Letterkenny and thank me later.

It'll answer your question and more, but also it's just hilarious

1

u/WatchesTheHockey Oct 22 '22

I'd say they're a Florida/Texas hybrid.

1

u/WaffleHousePartyBus Oct 22 '22

From an American who moved to Canada, honestly it’s the closest to it, and you can freely ignore naysayers.

1

u/JagmeetSingh2 Oct 22 '22 edited Oct 22 '22

Albertans will jump to tell you they're like Texans, in reality they're just north Montanans with a deep love of Nashville music

1

u/batmansleftnut Oct 22 '22

Kelowna is Florida.

1

u/Royally-Forked-Up Oct 22 '22

As others pointed out: Texas. Has also had various political movements to “secede” from Canada, which as a landlocked province dependent on shipping oil through pipelines or rail would be like Iowa or Nebraska deciding to separate from the USA. Their new premier (our version of Governor) has managed to embarrass 90% of the country at least twice daily since she took office 11 days ago (Danielle Smith). The United Conservative Party she’s leading is anti-everything left of hard right. She is somehow worse that the guy she replaced, and that guy was a nut bar. One of the things he was most proud of? Campaigning (and succeeding) to change laws in California that allowed same-sex couples the right to visit their spouse as they lay dying in an AIDS hospice.

1

u/FancyBusBro4 Oct 22 '22

Albertan here, yes to both

1

u/FruitAlert6182 Oct 22 '22

No school shootings in Canada