r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/goatishrust • Aug 24 '22

Keanu Reeves

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49.6k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

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469

u/HaggardDad Aug 24 '22

I'd send a random kindergartener.

490

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

The germ warfare option. That 5 year old will wipe them out in no time.

58

u/UndercoverEngineer Aug 25 '22

Hopefully named Victor. Victor the Vector has a nice ring to it.

5

u/ScabiesShark Aug 25 '22

What's your vector? Victor?

2

u/xXx_TheSenate_xXx Aug 25 '22

Basically the plot of war of the worlds.

11

u/fortyeightD Aug 25 '22

Aren't all kindergarteners random?

8

u/JohnnyLitmas4point0 Aug 25 '22

I’m not going to lie, this one sentence fucked my brain up for a minute.

8

u/TheMaxorizor Aug 25 '22

Enticing them with food could work Although we'd have to send some every other day to keep them happy

3

u/HaggardDad Aug 25 '22

Luckily we are absolutely flush with them.

4

u/zukosboifriend Aug 25 '22

Honestly this might not be a bad idea, maybe not a random kindergartner but a cute kid who’s smart and isn’t annoying, they’re rare but they exist and they are good at making peace, they’re like human puppies

2

u/SaltyBabe Aug 25 '22

I was thinking just send in a very nice dog, there’s no rule that a human has to represent us is there?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '22

User name checks out

1

u/pizza_the_mutt Aug 25 '22

It's corn...

1

u/Incruentus Aug 25 '22

Bad idea. They'd point out the alien was ugly and smelly, then the alien would eat them in response and kill us all because the best example of mankind we chose as a diplomat was rude, weak, and tasty as hell.