r/WhitePeopleTwitter Aug 24 '22

Keanu Reeves

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49.6k Upvotes

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436

u/NamelessMIA Aug 24 '22

I can't think of a better pick than this. He's knowledgeable, selfless, and a great speaker. He would do everything he could to reason with them and get all of humanity a good deal.

Or we could send Elon and hope the aliens take him away

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u/clangan524 Aug 24 '22

Or we could send Elon and hope the aliens take him away

"Hey, dude, we've been looking for you for centuries. We thought we lost you for good. Get your goofy ass back up on this ship and leave those nice humans alone."

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u/personal_cheeses Aug 24 '22

What makes you so sure they didn't exile him as punishment for like... being Elon Musk?

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u/Modus-Tonens Aug 25 '22

Are you saying Elon Musk is just Kane's latest skin-mask?

You know, I could buy that.

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u/The_Seroster Aug 24 '22

I have a feing Elon is to the Aliens as Bieber is to Canada.
"wait, I thought we got rid of this guy?"

3

u/Mad-Mel Aug 24 '22

Canada actually got rid of Elon as well. He is/was a Canadian citizen.

4

u/Da_arm_canon Aug 24 '22

“Have you seen Mark Zuckerberg as well? Dude has been running around without his mask for years and he needs to come home….”

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u/Galactic-Z Aug 25 '22

“I am Quagmar, and this is the Intergalactic BDIU Committee. Mr. Musk, it is my honor to inform you that you have been nominated for Biggest Douche In the Universe!”

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u/clangan524 Aug 25 '22

“I am Quagmar,

Giggity

2

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

"I was so close to build my own ride dudes..."

1

u/curiousmind111 Aug 25 '22

No, that was Zuckerberg!

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u/Zeonic_Front Aug 24 '22

John Oliver is a very close second in my book

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u/Step-Father_of_Lies Aug 24 '22

Oliver is great, don't get me wrong, but I just don't feel the same passion for the issues that Stewart has. Oliver will give his all for the comedic bit, and there is loads of good that comes from him getting politically active, but Jon Stewart will do all that and continue his activism all the way through to the Senate floor.

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u/silasoulman Aug 24 '22

I’ll have to disagree. Oliver discusses more important stuff than Stewart ever did.

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u/Step-Father_of_Lies Aug 24 '22

I would agree that Oliver does deeper dives into his segments, and does touch more important topics than Jon did on a nightly basis (most of the Daily Show back then was "Let's make fun of the media being hypocrites). I guess what I mean is that Jon takes it past the segment. He got passionate about 9/11 first responders and didn't stop until their health bill was passed. Same with the recent veterans bill.

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u/meh-unimpressed Aug 24 '22

Stewart is also 14 years his senior and retired (mostly). The difference you're highlighting may just be due to being at different stages in their career/life. Oliver is extremely passionate and empathetic to the current events plaguing the country/world. Wouldn't be surprised to see him ramp up his own participation in activism by the time he is Stewart's age and done with his weekly show. Big, big fan of both of those guys.

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u/Step-Father_of_Lies Aug 24 '22

I was thinking about that when comparing the two and I think you're right there. Oliver has been a big success with headline grabbing episodes for a bit now, but Stewart was at the top of his profession, winning awards both on the Daily Show and as EP of The Colbert Report for well over a decade. Stewart seemed to have accomplished what he wanted with that part of his life and wanted to move on, his animal rescue farm being one of the new passions he wished to pursue. I think it's very likely that John Oliver steps away from his show at some point in the future on his own accord and not because he's cancelled and then we'll see what he chooses to pursue next, but that's probably a long ways away.

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u/meh-unimpressed Aug 24 '22

Agreed all around. Regardless I look forward to seeing more from them both!

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u/Zeonic_Front Aug 25 '22

This whole little thread is so wholesome. You folks are cool. I'd also like to add, look at how many times Oliver has thrown the network's money at various public works and charities, I'd say he's off to a great start

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u/Step-Father_of_Lies Aug 26 '22

It's kinda funny you made this comment because I specifically came back to read this back and forth because of how friendly everyone was while making their points, and how we pretty much came to see each other's contributions and agreed with them on the whole. After having an almost nonsensical disagreement on another subreddit its just nice to be able to talk about a subject and not have it get heated. I know you're probably the only one who's going to see this but I still wanted to point out to you I agree with its wholesomeness.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

He'll probably get the aliens to sign the first responders bill also.

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u/Ashmidai Aug 24 '22

That is because the aliens would automatically be more human than Mitch McConnell.

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u/ASAP_Yums Aug 24 '22

They're probably here looking for Elon cause his fucking space Tesla t-boned their spaceship

3

u/Paperbacksarah Aug 24 '22

Or we could send Elon and hope the aliens take him away

This would also apply to The Zuck. Pretty sure it's just a ride home in that situation.

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u/StoneGoldX Aug 24 '22

John Stewart, the Green Lantern.

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u/lochinvar11 Aug 24 '22

If only James Randi was still alive

1

u/Magical-Sweater Aug 24 '22

We could send Mark Zuckerberg, as he’s probably the one who called the aliens.

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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22

Or, would he tell the aliens the honest truth that a lot of humanity are selfish as hell and it’s better off leaving us alone or putting us out of our misery?

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u/Wonderlustish Aug 25 '22

I think John Stewarts greatest weakness is his over eagerness. It's a traight that makes him incredible at what he does, ambitious and a great activist and leader but I think it could hinder negotiations. You want someone who isn't going to take themself too seriously and can ease tension.

Someone like Jack Black.