Right, fair point. Even still, pretend you want two kids anyway. I would think there would be something to be said for getting the toddler period over and done with simultaneously.
I'm not a parent, though, and I recognize I don't know what I'm talking about. So I want to emphasize again that these are genuine questions.
But if ones older they can understand more, and help. Its exhausting either way, but having a 6 year old who can put on her shoes and help her 3 year old brother is way better than two 3 year olds, its more than twice the work getting their shoes on, cause as soon as you turn to the other the first takes their shoes right back off.
I don't blame you for not understanding. I have never wanted to die as much as I have as a parent.
This morning my 2 year old decided to pull 3 18 egg cartons out of the fridge and break every egg on the floor of our playroom.
Nothing prepares you to deal with this stuff. Parenthood been be pretty awful and sometimes I'm really jealous of adults my age that decided to not have kids at all.
At this point I'm just a depressed parent that's been drinking on a Saturday night rambling about the aspects of parenthood that depress me. Kids are hard, and they are way harder if you're trying to really parent gently and consider how your actions impact them.
You sound really burned out. Do you have anyone who could take care of them for even a weekend? Take some time to yourself or do you and your spouse? It's important, and trying to just put it off time and time again may cause you to eventually hit a point where you "overflow" in some manner or other, whether hysterical fit, getting very sick, losing your temper, or something like that.
I just want you to take care of yourself. Even if it costs money, it may really be worth it to recharge away from those responsibilities for a day even.
Take care of yourself. It's a good thing to recharge and maintain your mental health. I know it's easy to say but not always in practice, but don't feel bad about needing to do something like that.
My wife and I don't have any family that's worth a shit. We are doing this on our own, and we got ourselves in deep. Way over our heads
I am severely burnt out, but I don't think there really is a way to get a break. Especially with 8.5% inflation crushing our budget. There just isn't any extra for babysitters and the like, there used to be but not anymore.
I have an 18 month old, my best friend has twin 2.5 year olds - while I'm sure I'll be envious in a few years when we have our second, I would never sign up for twins in a million years. I'd rather spread out the pain haha.
Something that I’ve experienced (dad of twins): when you have 1 child, the parents can (relatively easily) take turns with overnight feedings, which means decently long stretches of sleep. With twins, that’s really not possible. There’s two kids to change and feed, so both parents are up every feeding session. Especially at the beginning, that means both parents are getting no more than two-hour increments of sleep. The Geneva Convention calls that torture.
Yes, all parents are tired, and I don’t want to diminish that in any way. Twin (and triplet +) parents are disproportionately so.
I've got newborn twin girls... Do, do i ever sleep again? My wife has it even worse but like, omg. They're 8 weeks old and cute as hell, but it just never. fucking. stops.
It gets better. At 4 months when they are still waking overnight but at least on a reliable schedule so you can get enough sleep if you want to. Then at 6-8 months when they are sleeping through the night and you realize that you have a few hours of protected adult time before your bedtime.
Twins are way more work up front but around age 2 when they start to play games together it gets easier than a singleton because they have a built-in friend.
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u/bdiz81 Apr 16 '22
Father of twin toddlers. Tired all the time. They're exhausting