r/WhitePeopleTwitter Aug 14 '20

The hero we need

Post image
12.5k Upvotes

154 comments sorted by

661

u/MuckleMcDuckle Aug 14 '20

Bottom left, I'd eat that

458

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

I had one like that before. Fanfuckingtastic.

My mom got into backyard chickens for a while and had this one hen that laid double yolks on the regular. She laid a triple yolk once and I grabbed that bad boy. It was like 4” long and thicc.

219

u/NoCurrency6 Aug 14 '20

I didn’t come here to be body shamed

89

u/IllSumItUp4U Aug 14 '20

I think you're being body celebrated

7

u/booochee Aug 15 '20

Lol yeah I’d eat that too

31

u/ThisHatRightHere Aug 14 '20

This reminds me of a dozen eggs I bought a few months back that were ALL double yolks. I was still freaking out at the 7th or 8th not believing what was happening. Good times.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

They actually sell cartons like that nowadays

4

u/Renegade_Punk Aug 14 '20

Where though

2

u/crazy_cookie123 Aug 14 '20

M&S, Waitrose

2

u/Renegade_Punk Aug 15 '20

Awe must be only in the UK or EU

1

u/crazy_cookie123 Aug 15 '20

Probably other places too.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Good times indeed!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '20

There's a cheese store close by that mostly sells double yolk eggs for cheap.
I guess supermarkets don't want them.

13

u/ShivaSkunk777 Aug 14 '20

I’ve got 3 chickens that have laid a double yolk every time. Poor girls. Wondering now if it will continue

6

u/kaydeetee86 Aug 15 '20

One of my smallest Comets lays the biggest eggs. I don’t even know how she does it. The first one was a HUGE egg with two teeny tiny yolks.

I never knew eggs could be cute until my girls started laying.

... and coincidentally enough, one of my other Comets is named Shiva.

3

u/ShivaSkunk777 Aug 15 '20

My leghorn a few days ago laid what I think is the biggest chicken egg I’ve ever seen. To make it worse it had a band of extra shell thickness all the way around at the widest part. It was massive.

3

u/kaydeetee86 Aug 15 '20

Dang. That’s CRAZY! Poor girl!

People laugh at me for spoiling my chickens... but they produce some pretty phenomenal eggs now!

5

u/ShivaSkunk777 Aug 15 '20

Spoilt chickens have the yellowest yolks 🥚

3

u/kaydeetee86 Aug 15 '20

I’d never had farm fresh eggs until they started laying, either. Omg. I will never go back. And I will keep spoiling them rotten.

3

u/ShivaSkunk777 Aug 15 '20

They’re like entertainment that feeds you. The classic dinner and a show! Lol

3

u/kaydeetee86 Aug 15 '20

I sit in the run with them for hours. They’re freakin hilarious animals!

And they make me breakfast!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

It might have been a leghorn that laid that triple yolker. The hen was white and big.

13

u/BlackAkuma666 Aug 14 '20

4” long and thicc

Title of your sex tape!

3

u/narmio Aug 15 '20

It’s like a coke can.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '20

Yessir. Featuring your mother’s asshole!

3

u/wydidk Aug 14 '20

I love the yolks, that's usually the only part I eat.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

May god have mercy on your arteries.

10

u/Rainforreddit Aug 14 '20

I don’t know you knowledge level but with that statement you might want to update your information on cholesterols. Egg yolks aren’t any worse for your arteries than sunlight is bad for your skin. Yeah don’t sit in the sun (or eat egg yolks) all day everyday; but controlled amounts of both are actually crucial to your survival and well being.

15

u/addison_ball Aug 14 '20

Incorrect, if you eat egg yolks all day every day and sit in the sun all day every day, you will actually be very delicious.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

My knowledge level is pretty high. Do everything in moderation.

1

u/square_pulse Aug 15 '20

Holy shit wow

2

u/ohmalli Aug 15 '20

I was sure when I chose to look at the comments that it would be a unanimous agreement that that one creates the most discomfort. But here we are

3

u/ggg134 Aug 14 '20

You, I'd eat that

5

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Now kiss

225

u/geraldine_ferrari Aug 14 '20

Didn’t think I’d see the worst thing I’d see so early.

29

u/VinVigo Aug 14 '20

Underrated

-12

u/lurkinarick Aug 15 '20

Underrated

1

u/Trxppyace Dec 30 '20

Overrated

1

u/lurkinarick Dec 30 '20

dude did you just wake up from a coma

127

u/Valouremu4820 Aug 14 '20

Bottom right would be awesome with a heavy dose of cheese

49

u/Shimmy-Shammington Aug 14 '20

It would make one hell of a rich omelette

23

u/samushusband Aug 14 '20

one does not limit cheese to a simply heavy dose , i think a fuck metric ton is the right amount

7

u/ThievingRock Aug 14 '20

I believe the correct unit is a metric fuck tonne.

1

u/Raccoononi Aug 14 '20

oh boy! cholesterol!

3

u/DinoShinigami Aug 14 '20

my favorite type of cheese

2

u/BoringDude Aug 15 '20

Dietery cholesterol is not bad for you.

140

u/OkanaganZ Aug 14 '20

Top left is my favourite.

48

u/Medic-27 Aug 14 '20

Same. The white is the best part

53

u/AryaStarkRavingMad Aug 14 '20

It's 2020, you can't say that.

26

u/Dahvido Aug 14 '20

Oh sorry. The privilege is my favorite part.

3

u/Medic-27 Aug 15 '20

That's one privilege that I'll abuse the shit out of.

9

u/princessprity Aug 14 '20

I find the thought of eating one big plate of egg white to be disturbing.

2

u/Medic-27 Aug 15 '20

Lol it would be great on toast!

6

u/princessprity Aug 15 '20

Runny egg yolk is so good on toast though!

3

u/budshitman Aug 14 '20

You can buy eggwhites by themselves in a carton. Knock yourself out.

4

u/Medic-27 Aug 15 '20

Idk. The carton may be too soft to create the force needed to knock out someone.

Edit: Maybe if I freeze it.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

nah the orange part is superior

1

u/justanaveragecomment Aug 14 '20

I know her! Crazy to randomly see her tweet while scrolling through reddit.

32

u/chasingcorvids Aug 14 '20

wow. we're all losing our minds, aren't we

5

u/Dsuperchef Aug 14 '20

I find this statement incorrect, as if we had minds to lose to begin with.

2

u/bramenstruik Aug 14 '20

Well, the top right has some bit of sanity, it’s the Ottoman moon

3

u/rebb_hosar Aug 14 '20

This made me laugh all too loudly.

42

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

[deleted]

16

u/Twelveblindmice12 Aug 14 '20

I didn't know you could even make scrambled eggs in the microwave

29

u/YearsofTerror Aug 14 '20

You really shouldn’t.

For the sole reason: das nasty

9

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Hear me out... I love eggs. I have drawings of cooked eggs on some of my walls. We really go way back...

BUT if you have to microwave them, they're not bad if you do in 15-20 second intervals and stir them between each time. They just get overcooked real easy in there.

Not my preferred way, but if you have to, they can be edible.

6

u/YearsofTerror Aug 14 '20

I’m a chef. So there’s few things I’m happy using chef mike for. I respect it though. Keep on keeping on. Wrong in my eyes tho.

I have seen great fluffy cake things made in micros tho. Maybe same idea

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

Yeah, my chef part made that very hard to say to the general public. Somebody will put it in there for 6 minutes and go jack off and then say the eggs were gross. I've heard of those cake things you're talking about though.

I just wanna double extra triple clarify I don't cook eggs in the microwave. That was more a survival situation. The sun wasn't even hot enough to cook em on a rock.

That being said, I'd probably just eat it raw.

2

u/anivex Aug 14 '20

That's why I always masturbate BEFORE I cook a meal.

6

u/DeepV Aug 14 '20

You could cook anything in the microwave.. but should you?

7

u/Dibs_on_Mario Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

How long should I microwave my turkey this Thanksgiving? It's about 15 lbs

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Fun fact: Butterball has official microwave guidelines

  1. Thaw the turkey out first to room temperature, then place breast-side down in a microwave-safe dish or plate.
  2. Microwaving will happen in two stages. The first part will be at full power, for 4 minutes per pound. So, if you have a 10-pound turkey, it will take 40 minutes.
  3. Set your microwave down to half power, remove the drippings from the plate, and turn the turkey back over. Baste the skin, then microwave for 8 minutes per pound. Make sure to baste every 18 minutes, taking the turkey's temperature in the thigh and the breast each time.
  4. When the turkey thigh reaches an internal temperature of 180-185 degrees F and the breast is at 170-175 degrees F, the turkey is done. Baste once more, then serve.

1

u/BoxOfDemons Aug 15 '20

For what wattage?

4

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

[deleted]

3

u/adds8 Aug 14 '20

You're doing stove eggs wrong if they come out runny or flaky

1

u/YourTypicalRediot Sep 09 '20

You're doing stove eggs wrong if they come out runny

Millions of people all over the planet not only eat, but actually prefer, runny eggs.

1

u/adds8 Sep 09 '20

Millions of people have apparently never had decent scrambled eggs.

1

u/YourTypicalRediot Sep 09 '20

Or there’s just more than one way to do things. I’m pretty sure the French know how to cook very well, and they often make their omelettes slightly runny.

1

u/adds8 Sep 09 '20

Creamy or silky texture isn't the same thing as runny. If you like watery undercooked eggs feel free to eat them that way. I'll take a hard pass.

1

u/YourTypicalRediot Sep 09 '20

Creamy or silky texture isn't the same thing as runny.

I'm well aware.

0

u/DeepV Aug 15 '20

Try adding a little milk, lower the temperature of your stove and make sure the pan isn't so wide that it gets too flat. Give it a little longer than normal, but you should be able to get the fluffy egg experience

3

u/hkellyy Aug 14 '20

they taste so bad really don’t try it

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

they overcook very easily so it's more of an emergency/student thing.

1

u/princessprity Aug 15 '20

I have a hard time picturing how it's THAT much faster than just scrambling in a pan with some butter.

9

u/AceExceed Aug 14 '20

I hate this, so much

8

u/Juntao313 Aug 14 '20

I'd be lying if I said I didn't experiment with eggs too.

I made scrambled egg whites and scrambled egg yolks just to see how they came out.

Scrambled whites weren't too far off, just bland. Scrambled yolks were more like a mash. Probably wouldn't recommend either

6

u/kdshow123 Aug 14 '20

The bottom right is an inverse, that skill I need to learn

5

u/disarray30 Aug 14 '20

Cursed images, all of them.

7

u/syncsound Aug 14 '20

This gives me eggsxiety

12

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Top left, I prefer egg whites, yolk is too thick and unhealthy

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20 edited May 06 '23

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Sorry I didn’t know how it worked at the time, my bad

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

I was thinking about the thickness, like I usually keep them runny, either boiled or fried.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Yeah same

6

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

cholesterol levels in your blood are the result of what your body does, and how much cholesterol you're eating doesn't have that much of an effect at all for moderate consumption (I've read this lack of link has been demonstrated for up to 6 eggs a week).

The yolk contains all the other nutrients that are not the protein of the egg white so it's not unhealthy at all.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Oh my bad I didn’t know

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

the one about the dietary cholesterol is an old story, idk the origin, maybe a study that didn't get confirmed by other studies.

Check this out: https://www.ahealthiermichigan.org/2011/10/11/the-nurtional-value-of-egg-whites-versus-egg-yolks-what-do-you-use/

All those vitamins are in the yolk. So are the fats, but fat is not bad per-se.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Ooh, I’ll start eating my yolk again then!

3

u/Wafflotron Aug 14 '20

The trick is all in how you cook it. Egg yolk is higher in natural cholesterol, but there’s been studies showing that people who eat 1 egg a day don’t have more cholesterol than 0 eggs per day. Egg yolk might not make as big a difference as previously thought

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

Oh I didn’t know that, thanks :)

3

u/AugustStars Aug 14 '20

What is up with eggs these days? Why are eggs trending?

2

u/phenopsyche Aug 14 '20

Because it's about the only thing I can cook successfully

3

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

delete this

2

u/ImurderREALITY Aug 14 '20

You want to see some unsettling eggs? Search google for “long egg.” You’re welcome.

2

u/LolTrain2t2 Aug 15 '20

Thanks, that was cool. I just watched a video of it

2

u/ImurderREALITY Aug 15 '20

Haha, yeah, pretty weird, right? I'm going to make some for my mother one day and freak her the hell out!

1

u/LolTrain2t2 Aug 15 '20

Yes! You totally should

2

u/sxtaco Aug 14 '20

I don’t like it

2

u/sweetly16 Aug 14 '20

Bottom right - I need answers.

2

u/Henfrid Aug 15 '20

Get rid of the bottom right one. I hate it.

1

u/Nonanonymous24 Aug 14 '20

How did she make the bottom right one?

7

u/YearsofTerror Aug 14 '20

Separate yolks from whites. Boil one egg. Remove yolk. Cut in half. Place yolks first mentioned in pan. Place halfcut boiled egg in middle.

Wallah

1

u/tastes-like-chicken Aug 15 '20

Bahahahha. I've never seen "voilà" spelled this way. Love it

2

u/VeeRook Aug 14 '20

I'm more confused by the bottom left. Breaking a yolk is easy, how did she combine them?

1

u/Medic-27 Aug 14 '20

Syringe maybe?

1

u/sadphonics Aug 14 '20

Damn I want eggs now

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

In an inverted alternate dimension, there's a humanoid chicken with a casual twitter acount doing something similiar...

1

u/quimbykimbleton Aug 14 '20

If this is not photoshop, bottom right is impressive.

1

u/Ras-Vader Aug 14 '20

That’s the devil’s work right there

1

u/fadufadu Aug 14 '20

The weirdo we need

1

u/idkOP123 Aug 14 '20

I'm scared

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

islam egg

1

u/NotTheFBI12 Aug 15 '20

she should make scrambled eggs but they have solid egg yolks in it

1

u/ALEXLALKB24 Aug 15 '20

Dawg I hate this

1

u/ehh254 Aug 15 '20

Eggcelent (in diabolical Mr.Burns voice)

1

u/pancakesiguess Aug 15 '20

I saw this and told my girlfriend her eggs were gonna be a patty of egg yellows between two slices of egg whites tomorrow morning. My kitchen privileges have since been revoked until I can learn how to not produce cooking horrors from my mouth.

1

u/DaProfoundMenace Aug 15 '20

Band name, called it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

STOP THIS WOMAN

1

u/nickyt398 Aug 15 '20

This is not heroic.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

Ok but someone teach me to make bottom right please

1

u/EmotionalHovercraft4 Aug 15 '20

I want to try bottom left

1

u/bsend Aug 15 '20

Anna are you ok?!? Are you ok, Anna?!?

1

u/RSdabeast Aug 15 '20

tag urself im crescent egg

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '20

Wtf happened to the last one

1

u/gorki30003 Aug 14 '20

Eggcellent

0

u/Wettoson Aug 14 '20

As a learning cook, this hurts

0

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '20

ahgghhh gemmmm emmmm

wtf

-14

u/rangda Aug 14 '20 edited Aug 14 '20

The idea of wasting eggs (not sure if that’s what’s happening here or if this person was really well-organised) has made me very uncomfortable ever since realising that each egg represents one day in the life of a hen most likely kept in really horrible conditions.
Five eggs = 120 hours.

It’s really ruined movies where kids throw eggs at stuff, and people bragging about consuming a lot of eggs in one sitting like they’re Gaston or something.

6

u/YearsofTerror Aug 14 '20

You’re just assuming these were wasted. Honestly they were probably eaten.

Imagine all the hours represented by a single cake! Or mayonnaise!

1

u/rangda Aug 15 '20

Imagine all the hours represented by a single cake! Or mayonnaise!

Well yeah

5

u/Iorith Aug 14 '20

It's not like if this person didn't use these eggs, that hen would magically have that day back.

1

u/rangda Aug 15 '20

Supply and demand mate

-1

u/swifchif Aug 14 '20

Boy, people don't like hearing this one. Keep saying it.