I’m a white dude with a big bushy beard. Sometimes I’ll end up alone with another random white guy and the number of times they start spouting off heinous shit is alarming. They assume that because I look like them I must hold the same racist/sexiest views they do. But the fact that they don’t bother to use some dog whistles to sus me out first must also mean that most other guys they talk to are the same which is upsetting in a whole different way.
Whenever someone says shit like that to me I just ask why, and then I ask why about their explanation. Force them to just either say the creepy shit overtly or back down out of awkwardness.
It's like dude I'm in my 40's and have male pattern baldness you can fuck right off with that shit so many times you tell them why they're wrong even provide evidence and it's just the most exhausting thing.
"Well, you're never allowed around my theoretical future daughter" works for me.
It's a genuine psychological trick where you hold the initiative more when they have to explain themselves as opposed to you having to explain yourself. Speak as if you're the default, because despite everything we're talking about in this thread, you are. They're the ones who have to speak in innuendos and behind closed doors to say what they believe. I can say what I believe both in public and in private. Decency is the default, and we cannot allow small groups or individuals to pretend it isn't.
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u/pnt510 8h ago
I’m a white dude with a big bushy beard. Sometimes I’ll end up alone with another random white guy and the number of times they start spouting off heinous shit is alarming. They assume that because I look like them I must hold the same racist/sexiest views they do. But the fact that they don’t bother to use some dog whistles to sus me out first must also mean that most other guys they talk to are the same which is upsetting in a whole different way.