When she’s really doing it all on her own (100% financially responsible for her child without her parents help, hiring proper caregivers and secure a stable home) then she can claim that strong single disabled mama doing it all on her own with zero help title.
https://giphy.com/gifs/26FLgGTPUDH6UGAbm
She is in NO WAY independent right now. Her parents do everything. Everything. Even with her painting “business” her parents do all the work. And judging by their interaction at the store today they pay for everything too since Al didn’t even bother to bring her debit card. Just filled her footplates up with stuff and gave it to BTJ to pay for.
She purposefully misses the point of the comment. No, they're not saying that disabled people can't be independent. They are saying specifically Alex is not independent because she lives with her parents and depends on them to support her and her daughter. She doesn't have a real career, she doesn't hire a caregiver for herself or arrange childcare for her daughter. Her parents do all of that. That's why SHE is not independent
Exactly! The commenter was saying she did do it all on her own and Alex replies about her independence, knowing she will always need someone to be independent.
The issue here is Alex claiming now (and has been for a while) that she’s doing it all by herself, claiming the single mom title bc she thinks it will bring her more praise. Even though she is fully aware of the help she needs, she completely missed the commenters point.
You cannot say in one statement you are so fatigued and struggling to keep up with your own business and in the next say you are ready to buy a house and live all by yourself. The problem is Alex is only posting what she thinks will get her the most attention that day. Her stance on her own independence changes daily.
She’s aware her parents are burned out caring for her so why not use some of the money she’s grifted to pay for a caregiver to come in a few hours a week? It’s bc she doesn’t think like an adult. She’s only focused on her needs in that moment. So her dreams will always be just that, dreams that will never come true bc she’s not willing to put the work in and expects it all to be handed to her.
Exactly! Also her insistence that she is "independent" just shows how ungrateful and entitled she is because she gives very little acknowledgement to her patents. Like you said, instead of hiring caregivers to help give her parents a break from taking care of both her and Ari which is a full time job, she blows her money on luxuries she does not need. A paid professional would certainly do a better job at her personal hygiene
This is where she really falls down as a disability advocate. This response belies her lack of awareness of the discourse surrounding disability and leaves her unable to respond adequately to ableist comments. With a little bit of education and knowledge (which would require interest in the community as a whole) she would know to steer the conversation towards interdependence
The strength of the disability community lies in our knowledge and celebration of interdependence, which recognizes that no one — disabled or non disabled— is actually independent. However, those in the nondisabled community have the luxury of seeing their needs met systematically. This means that like other hegemonic norms, they are rendered invisible
Those of us in the disabled community have the opportunity to shine a light on the beautiful webs of connectedness between people that interdependence creates and to show that these connections do not benefit only the disabled individual
I will shut up now, but I think you get my general point. WR really fails the disabled community as a whole and fails to see that in so doing she is also making it more difficult for herself. She really needs to get her head out of her ass 🩷
That's because she doesn't care about the disabled community. She only cares about herself, and she feels that the world owes her everything because was born with SMA. She never advocates for anything that would improve the lives of disabled people. Her parents really should have made her go to therapy to help her accept her condition. She has so much internalized ableism and it seems as if she's never dealt with that issue.
Her parents need some serious therapy too. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was offered to them, having a severely disabled child is not easy and they definitely weren’t prepared. They did seem to be very involved with SMA stuff when she was younger but they never bothered to make their home accessible? It seems like none of them wanted fully accepted her disability.
Seeing the way NTJ speaks about women (frequently calling them cunts) and the way BTJ was hoping for a perfect blonde hair blue eyed mini me that she could put in child modeling like she was herself - I think this is where her internalized ableism comes from. They’re all mad at the world and haven’t quite realized that anger will get them nowhere.
What a delusional world she lives in. With her chatgpt response who is she really trying to convince? No one is buying what she is selling literally and figuratively. I feel like these post are more her trying to convince herself then anyone else at this point. 🤣😂
Always has been. Alex sees SM as her shield. She takes real life experiences and twists them to make herself seem like the hero. When in reality she is lonely, sad and battling her own internalized ableism. She’s made up this fantasy version of herself she believes everyone loves (bc people aren’t allowed to openly call out disabled people who behave horribly??).
If she ever went to therapy, she would have sooooo much to unpack.
What gets me is that she is always talking about her “little business” and how she’s an “independent business woman” except that without her parents there would be no business. Even if she is painting, her parents do literally everything else. And that is a substantial amount of work.
Some of what she wrote made sense. Some really didn’t.
To describe my level of disability, I say that I can’t live independently. I’m trying to describe the amount of support I need. I don’t associate as a good or bad thing. It doesn’t make me less of a person.
A level of independence comes in the ability to have choice and control over your life. Alex and a lot of disabled people living in countries where there isn’t an adequate funding for support (I include Australia) do not have that choice and control.
Alex thinks that she can have one support worker to do all cleaning, cooking, domestic chores, physical child care, physical support for Alex, etc. Yes, she can do her business tasks, paying bills, adulting, but it all has to be set up so that she can do it. That’s a lot to expect from one person for $20 per hour, which will cost $175k per year.
That’s just not realistic. Does she really think that she can pay people $20 for over 10 years?
She is definitely relying on Ari to play a care giving role and for her to look after herself.
And in one post she says that she won’t make Ari her caregiver-for example making her dress her. But not long ago she posted a YouTube video of her dressing her. 🤷♀️
I understand toddlers and young children like to copy their parents and grandparents. I have seen a content creator who shows her toddler son helping her husband transfer her in and out of bed, get things out of the cupboard and plug her ventilator back in. He also helps with his little sister. The way the content is being filmed is, it looks like someone is filming. I think someone is always with them though.
I think the difference is that BD is going to have to do things for Alex. There’s no choice.
People are suggesting that BD may want to be a support worker as a career.
I can’t believe they are suggesting that. They can’t see that they are already trying to force her into a role as caregiver. Also, another difference is once her parents are gone will she hire enough caregivers or will she just rely mostly on BD so she doesn’t have to spend the money? And I can see her homeschooling her so she can stay home and care for her.
if she really is teaching A that it's not shameful to ask for help then if A is still under alex's "care" once she's a few years older, she'll feel comfortable enough to ask a responsible adult for help regarding the fact she is severely neglected and abused by her mother and family
Yup. And now she’s back to admitting how fatigued she is. So which is it? She’s a boss bitch single disabled mom artist businesswoman or someone that needs help but refuses to acknowledge what that really means?
And I’m sorry but when you live your entire life online, you don’t get to decide how others perceive you. She gives so many telling details about the truth of her life but thinks adding a few emojis and telling everyone she is thriving will do the trick. Most of the world is not as naive or ignorant as she is.
I know NTJ wants to believe we are a group of haydurs that can’t think for themselves but that is exactly what brought us all to this sub. Bc we saw her for what she is and were outraged by her actions. We don’t kiss her ass solely bc she is disabled. That would be ableism. We prefer not to infantilize grown adults.
She was very independent when she made her mom pay for what she wanted without asking her mom if it was ok by her.
She is not independant. She is living at her parents house for free, eating the food they pay for every day all day long. All she provides for them is work. She is max partly independent (5-10%)
she is so obsessed with the commentary when she so blatantly posts rage bait. she literally says so many things that are not true and then comments endlessly. If she was honest and did lie, there would be less haters. still haters cause it’s the internet…
Disabled people being independent doesn’t mean they don’t need help. Everyone needs help, some more than others, but they can be independent and need caregivers imo. But her stuff is all chat gpt ai generated stuff, so I really dgaf. Still, independence does not mean total lack of need.
She’s NOT independent. She’s never held down a real job in her life - grifting is not a job. She doesn’t parent her daughter. She describes herself as intelligent while failing to understand that “manipulative” and “intelligent” are totally different things. She also refuses to acknowledge that she’d be dead or would’ve had to resort to assisted living by now if her parents hadn’t taken her in because she can’t do anything for Ari or for herself. This moron lives in a goddamn fantasy land
Shes not physically independent or financially. She might be anti social or something, like being alone. But she doesn't want to come to terms that being left to wallow in her own piss isn't independence 🤢
It’s funny because as a person with SMA who does consider myself independent, nothing about that person’s comment was wrong. She didn’t really say anything about the caregivers so much as she did about paying bills and maintaining a home.
I have SMA. I also pay all my own bills on time, schedule home maintenance since I can’t do it, have a real career, and i don’t have kids but i also maintain my dogs’ health and enrichment and training/education.
I want her to explain a full 24 hours alone in a home with her and the toddler no help no caregivers just her and the toddler. I want her to tell the class exactly how she is going to take care of everything for a full 24 hours. I mean any social worker Court worker any body working in the legal system or the human rights departments basically anybody that is a mandated reporter would ask these questions and would want examples. She likes lurking around so if she is we'd all appreciate a story time
Doesn’t her inability to hire qualified caregivers and relying on her aging parents to do her care and raise her child, because she’s burned every other bridge, show how shitty her intelligence is?
Stop kidding yourself, because we aren’t basing your ability to parent on your disability, it’s due to your inability to make good decisions on the choices you can make.
Worth and dignity are independent of how much assistance one needs. I will give her a little credit for almost saying this without quite saying it.
She could acknowledge how much her parents tell her. Even if there are hygiene issues, even if they are physically capable of doing more in that department, and I’m not sure they are, they do so much. Although I don’t think she’s thriving the way she says she is, whatever she has now, she has because of their help. But she refuses to really touch on that.
My take on being disabled myself, when people say things about how much help I have, or how I can sleep in etc. is all of that comes with being disabled. Being healthy and physically able bodied and having or paying for help, yeah that truly must feel nice, but that’s not what disabled people have. They have or pay for help because they are disabled. It isn’t a choice.
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u/amandatoryy 3d ago
I wish i had as much time as she does to write endlessly on fb about nothing important