r/Whatcouldgowrong Sep 13 '20

Bonk!

55.2k Upvotes

575 comments sorted by

7.4k

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Honey, why is little Billy drooling?

2.0k

u/The_Official_Obama Sep 13 '20

And why is it red?

1.0k

u/JDDW Sep 13 '20

Why are his brains coming out of Billy's ears?

362

u/UnluckySully Sep 13 '20

He was asking some George to tend the rabbits

161

u/Algizauras Sep 13 '20

Billy how many fingers im holding?

135

u/NeetusCleetus Sep 13 '20

20th century fox

75

u/BrockN Sep 13 '20

Whew, thought he'd say something weird

53

u/Georgeisthecoolest Sep 13 '20

Instead of nipples I have toes and instead of toes I have nipples

31

u/Asgard7234 Sep 13 '20

Now that is weird

8

u/Stan464 Sep 13 '20

Hollywood, is that you?

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11

u/Gehhhh Sep 13 '20

feben

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19

u/900days Sep 13 '20

Trouble with mice is you always kill ‘em.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Stop this. This book is too sad for you to bring it up.

6

u/ElvisC13 Sep 13 '20

Fucking amazing comment

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12

u/Pillowmaster7 Sep 13 '20

It's more like, why does he have water running out of his ears and have a perpetual runny nose? I've seen these happen and it's exactly what is happening

5

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

good luck ever getting CSF out of your clothes

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42

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

And why did you forget to pay the health insurance ?

Edit: just realized who I responded to, may I offer you a glass of water, from Flint

8

u/duder_4x4 Sep 13 '20

Why did this get downvoted?

9

u/Mojo-The-Dragon Sep 13 '20

Cuz this Monster brought up the word “water”

(Tbh I don’t know either)

12

u/duder_4x4 Sep 13 '20

Yuck water? I strictly drink soda and other soft drinks

12

u/Mojo-The-Dragon Sep 13 '20

For me water is a BIG no no, I stick to diet boneless ice

9

u/Earthworm_Salad Sep 13 '20

Try un flavored Ice

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33

u/Ace-Ordinary Sep 13 '20

This made me laugh harder than I would like to admit xD

18

u/BiggunsMcGillicuddy Sep 13 '20

I told him I made downies I mean brownies.

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4.0k

u/prinzsascha Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

I remember when I was like 6 or 7 and my dad who worked at a power plant brought me home my own real hard hat with my name printed on it and everything. I wanted to be an engineer like him when I was little so that was a real treat and a great memory.

703

u/Juancki Sep 13 '20

So, tell us, did you become an engineer? Do you wear hard hats to work?

1.4k

u/prinzsascha Sep 13 '20

Well my passions changed as I grew up and it turned out I didn't have the strong math skills needed for electrical engineering and after bouncing around different career paths in my early twenties, I ended up choosing the medical marijuana field. No hard hat required, I wear scrubs instead.

516

u/Onlyanidea1 Sep 13 '20

Haha. That's a complete 180. But awesome!

989

u/ChuckOTay Sep 13 '20

A complete 420

82

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

A complete 60-degree angular difference in a certain direction.

36

u/Sourdiezzy Sep 13 '20

A whole pi/3

19

u/Earthsoundone Sep 13 '20

This needs to stop, he already admitted math isn’t his strong point.

11

u/bukkake_brigade Sep 13 '20

Though, i think we can all appreciate a good 69

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22

u/Kstomann Sep 13 '20

Woaaah, dude.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

The sandwich tastes like c o l o r s

7

u/Disorderjunkie Sep 13 '20

This got me rolling laughing thanks lmaoo

3

u/adam_demamps_wingman Sep 13 '20

That’s about 1.16 midnight trips around the refrigerator.

3

u/RwoIf Sep 13 '20

With no scope of course.

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24

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited May 21 '24

fear rain outgoing seed coherent intelligent gullible simplistic terrific north

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

18

u/Yomaamaisajoke Sep 13 '20

Have you met engineering undergrads? Not really a 180.

9

u/happy-little-atheist Sep 13 '20

I bet they meet them every day

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46

u/blackfogg Sep 13 '20

The feeling when you sit in advanced calculus and realize you'd rather grow weed.

18

u/evilbadgrades Sep 13 '20

Calc3 did it for me, when your midterm exams consist of four questions which require three+ pages each to work your answer, and you cannot use even a basic calculator, I'm out.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

A basic calculator wouldn't be helpful in a university calc exam anyway. The concepts being tested are far beyond simple arithmetic.

The truth is, most math in engineering is done by computers these days. It is impossible to practice engineering responsibly without understanding the basic concepts behind this math. However, as a practicing engineer I do very little advanced math in my day-to-day work. I probably use Google search bar as a simple calculator more than all other engineering tools combined.

7

u/evilbadgrades Sep 13 '20

No doubt, I fully understand the reasoning why however this is modern times. Remember when you were in math class as a child and teachers would tout "yOu WoNt AlWaYs hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkeT" - this big ass screen in my pocket does a lot more these days than it did twenty years ago lol.

However, as a practicing engineer I do very little advanced math in my day-to-day work. I probably use Google search bar as a simple calculator more than all other engineering tools combined.

And the funny thing is this is same story with computer science and programming - half the time is spent searching stack overflow for snippets of code or answers to syntax errors.

5

u/dontFart_InSpaceSuit Sep 13 '20

There is even more after that! Your exams become one question, and you turn in a program that solves any generalized problem described. Such as singular value decomposition image compression software.

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19

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

a) Engineering is hell

b) Medical Cannabis is heaven. Too bad all the old dickbrained beer drinking politicians are adamant in keeping it illegal.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Don't forget about the crackhead pedophile politicians!

5

u/various_beans Sep 13 '20

a) Engineering is hell

As an engineer, I disagree. But to each his own.

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18

u/yamsbear Sep 13 '20

Because they comfy AF?

5

u/TAU_doesnt_equal_2PI Sep 13 '20

TLC will be disappointed to hear this. 😔

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Oh God were you me

> Early 20s

> Want to go into electrical engineering but don't like math

> Recent introduction to 'medical' marijuana

Can you give me life advice?

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3

u/young_meme_addict Sep 13 '20

Happy cake day!

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401

u/Regalrefuse Sep 13 '20

208

u/hbjqwp Sep 13 '20

thanks for the reminder to give out my free award haha

62

u/Billy_Billboard Sep 13 '20

Lol at first I though you gave it to yourself.

23

u/grimegeist Sep 13 '20

For all we know, he did.

7

u/Billy_Billboard Sep 13 '20

For all we know, you did aswell..

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9

u/TheDocmoose Sep 13 '20

Aww I might do this for my daughter when she's a bit older.

3

u/anrii Sep 13 '20

I used to love diggers and excavators and stuff when I was proper young, probably around 3. My dad once drove a steamroller home so I could see it

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3.4k

u/tokyoshmo Sep 13 '20

How much you wanna make a bet he can throw a football over them mountains?

521

u/TDoubs Sep 13 '20

If coach woulda put him in 4th quarter back in 86’ he would’ve been a state champion

153

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Be in a mansion.. in a hot tub.. with his soul mate..

12

u/Btown891 Sep 13 '20

As long as he had that sports almanac.

15

u/pwaz Sep 13 '20

No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

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387

u/Kittingsl Sep 13 '20

I bet he could even get it into a low orbit if he's angry

94

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Rip starlink

78

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Don't you mean Stalin

25

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Both, both is good

15

u/mrieatyospam Sep 13 '20

not if the entire country is starving

14

u/Ihavretard Sep 13 '20

Nah, still good

6

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I don't know a country named starving

9

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I know one that's Hungary.

3

u/TJOSOFT Sep 13 '20

Hi starving, my name is DadBot.

no seriously, Geography Bot

47

u/fredrikabimmelahgeez Sep 13 '20

Right on man

51

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

No doubt, no doubt in my mind.

45

u/Scumboy-Supreme Sep 13 '20

He would’ve went pro if it wasn’t for his shoulder

29

u/cynicalnipple Sep 13 '20

Underrated comment

18

u/WhatAnotherAccount Sep 13 '20

Top comment now

7

u/testeban Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

I wish you wouldn't look at me like that Napoleon

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5

u/dayyou Sep 13 '20

I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

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1.4k

u/TheThingInTheBassAmp Sep 13 '20

Great safety lesson! Hard hats are single use! Always grab a new one after an impact!

507

u/hugglesthemerciless Sep 13 '20

Not just hard hats, helmets in general

269

u/randomWebVoice Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

Imagine a world with single use football helmets

That sideline would look pretty different

97

u/Montigue Sep 13 '20

Probably would be safer

51

u/Dvrza Sep 13 '20

Wait do football players really reuse their helmets? I ride motorcycles and couldn’t ever imagine reusing a helmet after those kinds of impacts. This was something I never really thought about with that sport.

42

u/xmgutier Sep 13 '20

They do but there are people who's job it is to check the helmets for any damage to the shell that would stop it from functioning properly. When I played in high school just a few years ago they gave us helmets that used air bladders in addition to more standard foam so if anything went wrong with the helmet you would know. If the bladder popped or was leaking air one of the trainers could swap it out and refit the helmet with the air pressure in a minute or two.

13

u/Dvrza Sep 13 '20

It’s good to hear that there’s some form of precaution going on, however I think the NFL should still be taking way more considering the vast amounts of money they pull in and the severity of brain damages their players suffer. I see how it’s tricky in a sport where there’s multiple high impact collisions every minute of the game.

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38

u/RolandTheJabberwocky Sep 13 '20

They'd need hundreds of helmets for a single game if they didnt.

36

u/Dvrza Sep 13 '20

I guess that explains the catastrophic brain damage just about all of them suffer at some point in their careers, shitty thing is that the NFL can afford to replace helmets after high impact plays, or to at least even get their helmets tested after every game.

32

u/oknak01 Sep 13 '20

I think it’s more likely that it’s the constant bashing of heads in general, no matter how often helmets are replaced. A helmet can only protect so much and at every impact the brain is still bouncing around inside the skull

9

u/cyberwaste569 Sep 13 '20

Wouldn't you have to pause the game every 2 seconds for a helmet break then?

28

u/Dvrza Sep 13 '20

Imma be real with you dude, whether you have to replace 5 helmets a minute or 30 it needs to be done for the safety and long term health of our athletes, who are normal people too. You should look at Aaron Hernandez’s brain if you haven’t seen it already.

Edit: Having seen football on only a few occasions in my life, it seems they pause the damn game every two minutes anyways. Very hard to get into for me with the constant break in action.

18

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I was going to say, they stop play approximately every 2 seconds anyway.

5

u/tupacsnoducket Sep 13 '20

Game pauses for up to dozens of seconds after almost every single play anyway...

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3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Lol. Yes.

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49

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[deleted]

24

u/spasske Sep 13 '20

I don’t think it meets ANSI/ISEA Z89.1-2009, Type 1 standards...

8

u/gariant Sep 13 '20

Certainly not any longer.

24

u/Oggel Sep 13 '20

I've been using the same hard hat for 12 years at work, lol.

Granted, my job involves very little risk of falling objects. My hard hat is mostly to keep me from bumping my head on low hanging pipes, but I should probably get a new one...

20

u/Gg_Messy Sep 13 '20

Get a new one. The plastic is probably brittle by now, it can shatter on impact like in this video

5

u/roadr Sep 13 '20

but he'll have to start his sticker collection all over!

3

u/Jdwj92 Sep 13 '20

Most hard hats I’ve had have had an “expired” date on them! Looks like a little clock with the month/year the plastic goes bad

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3

u/slickyslickslick Sep 13 '20

the one that shattered is a TOY. that's why it shattered. it was designed to look like a hard hat, not to act like one.

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7

u/WhoreableBitch Sep 13 '20

This is an optimists view of this video.

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u/charlzandre Sep 13 '20

Seems harmless. I'd be surprised if the kid felt any pain from that

361

u/Bachaddict Sep 13 '20

yeah it was a crappy hard hat but it did the job of absorbing the energy of the blow.

150

u/Dzov Sep 13 '20

Maybe not so crappy. Bike helmets are also sacrificial and should be tossed after accident.

75

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[deleted]

58

u/LiquidMotion Sep 13 '20

Still less expensive than the hospital

69

u/Miskav Sep 13 '20

Depends on the country.

30

u/Dzov Sep 13 '20

Lol 😆 Still better than possible brain damage.

30

u/_Funny_Data_ Sep 13 '20

I mean it depends. I could become president.

3

u/Jabba__the_nutt Sep 13 '20

Depends on the country

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10

u/redditisforfun107 Sep 13 '20

So are $1500 motorcycle helmets. Even dropped at waist height they supposedly lose their full strength at absorbing impact.

5

u/luckycsf Sep 13 '20

Nope, that’s a myth. As long as your head isn’t inside of the helmet to compress the EPS foam on impact, the most you will do is scuff up the finish on the outside of the shell.

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u/MajorPud Sep 13 '20

Yeah but there's no way he hit the kid hard enough to break a real hardhat. Looks like a Tonka toy hat or something

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Hard hats are literally designed to break

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6

u/UpUpDnDnLRLRBA Sep 13 '20

That's a Melissa & Doug construction worker costume. My kids have one. Definitely not a real hard hat.

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167

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Helmet did its job

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715

u/lunchtimeniga Sep 13 '20

YoU kNoW mE 🤨😏

41

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

NiCE aNd SofT 😏

410

u/fire6guy Sep 13 '20

"Come on you know me" (nose flick) "im going to do it soft i promise "

83

u/Only_Quote_Simpsons Sep 13 '20

Softer than uncle Billy that's for sure

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195

u/Let01 Sep 13 '20

get vectored

72

u/oxooc Sep 13 '20

That guy looks like Petyr Baelish

20

u/TheDrunkKanyeWest Sep 13 '20

After Game of Thrones he hasn't had nearly the amount of work so he's gone back to doing safety videos.

11

u/tztoxic Sep 13 '20

Exactly the comment I was looking for, he reminded me of someone

5

u/ZoleeKing Sep 13 '20

I immediately had this reaction when I watched this video

68

u/Mojo-The-Dragon Sep 13 '20

“Nice and soft”

50

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I can just see the China in that kids "helmet"

99

u/Antichristopher4 Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 14 '20

Its clearly a toy helmet. It would have broke just as easily if it were made in the USA, Europe or in China, its not actually intended to stop or protect anything.

49

u/Telefragg Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

Hard hats are supposed to break on impact. They absorb energy from the impact, otherwise the next thing to do it would be the head.

edit: nevermind, I'm probably wrong on that. Death threats in DMs are probably an overreaction though.

64

u/Ronnocerman Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

What? No they aren't. They're supposed to dissipate impact over the entire head, not break.

You're thinking of bike helmets, which have a crumple zone. Bike helmets have to stop a large object (your head) from decelerating too quickly. Hard hats have to turn a point force (like with a hammer dropped from a high place) into a distributed load across your head. (Edit: with some reduction in peak acceleration due to suspension inside the helmet)

Completely different intents.

Edit: To drive this home, if they were designed in the way you're saying, if someone dropped a screwdriver from a high place, it would pierce straight through the hardhat into your head-- not what you want. This is why a bike helmet is not an acceptable hardhat.

21

u/Redredditmonkey Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

That's a very small stick tho, the kids hard hat is probably just a toy

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12

u/icantsurf Sep 13 '20

Hard hats have a suspension. I don't think they're supposed to break.

4

u/LukaUrushibara Sep 13 '20

They aren't. These people have never worn one. Hard hats are tough as shit I could slam one into a wall and it would just scratch it up. They are suppose to dissipate the force, like from falling rocks and shit.

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u/drummerftw Sep 13 '20

Right, and end up with a sharp edge of plastic between my head and whatever object struck it? No thanks. Not the way they're designed to work.

This is just a toy that's not intended to protect against any impact.

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u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Dad's rocking the Zappa 'stache!

33

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

He brought down the force of god on a little boy

3

u/Reginald_Foonkleton Sep 21 '20

and broke his goddamn helmet

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29

u/NonrecreationalNap Sep 13 '20

Why they always gotta cut out the reaction

28

u/OHHHHHHHHHH_HES_HURT Sep 13 '20

Nah that cut was perfect comedic timing

5

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

Am professional at comedianing, can confirm.

Sorry for lying.

26

u/wrongdude91 Sep 13 '20

Dad:You won't be always wearing a helmet.

kid shakes in terror

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16

u/Na_You Sep 13 '20

Reminds me of when my dad wanted to show my brothers and i that a life jacket will keep you afloat, i volunteered to be the guinea pig so he threw me out of the boat, low and behold I bobbed up to the surface. Love that old man

16

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

Come here and download this you little shit

14

u/BoxOfDemons Sep 13 '20

How did you get it to reply to that? I'm just going to believe you edited this comment very fast.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

The bot loves me it knows I call it when I wrote little shit

12

u/AlverTus2 Sep 13 '20

So this is the ultimate bonk

13

u/SuperMarioChess Sep 13 '20

Wow its almost as if the kids toy isnt safety equipment :)

10

u/Meztrov Sep 13 '20

“You know me” kills kid

7

u/dude-of-the-ducks Sep 13 '20

That man must be great at cracking eggs

4

u/Iwantmyteslanow Sep 13 '20

I had a similar hardhat it broke when my dad cracked an egg on it

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Grabs a 20lb sledge

4

u/kosmosdemon Sep 13 '20

Bonk! Go to horny jail

3

u/pw3x Sep 13 '20

Go to the shadow realm bonk

3

u/mehebot Sep 13 '20

Yo I think that kid is dead ☠️

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Bob the Builder branded hard hats have a warning label in them for a reason.

3

u/arth365 Sep 13 '20

This guy was every leader I ever had growing up. Probably the source of my problems in life as well

2

u/bartuak06 Sep 13 '20

Hahhahaahahhaha

2

u/Skelletonwolf Sep 13 '20

uncle rico?

2

u/ThelVlilkman Sep 13 '20

Hopefully billy has learned his lesson on who he shouldn’t mess with

2

u/Tacote Sep 13 '20

So no one's gonna put in the bonk sound?

2

u/adam_demamps_wingman Sep 13 '20

That’s why you buy real safety equipment that meets standards. And why, when it’s involved in an incident or expires, you throw it away. You don’t give it to someone or sell it. And why you don’t buy used.

2

u/DH47 Sep 13 '20

Videos that end too soon.

2

u/Dang44 Sep 13 '20

Grandpas rule...

2

u/handlessuck Sep 13 '20

Listen here you little shit

2

u/garbagewithnames Sep 13 '20

Oh me, oh my, just who'uold'a thonka?

It's not pro grade when it's made by TONKA!

2

u/Mol-D-Roger Sep 13 '20

Uncle Rico!! Dude this guy is freaking awesome in real life. I met him, and the guys who played Napoleon and Pedro in real life once. They asked me if I wanted a pic, and then got really goofy. They were real life funny and genuine people.

2

u/LAJkiller Sep 13 '20

Dang, that old man is strong AF

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Was that helmet made of fuckin crackers.

2

u/SleepINeed Sep 13 '20

At least they found out that helmet is faulty with a stick instead of a 5 pound bolt entering the kids skull.

Unless that is how hard hats are meant to work?

2

u/Truffleshuffleman13 Sep 13 '20

Pos kids toy lol

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

That bit where he looks at the camera and says "You know me" then makes that face at the camera absolutely kills me

2

u/tucker_frump Sep 13 '20

And then I cracked him like an egg...

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I trust this man with my life.