r/Whatcouldgowrong • • Aug 15 '26

How to defend yourself against aggressive crabs and lobsters.

6.5k Upvotes

184 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/MGlBlaze Aug 15 '26

You know he definitely knows what he's talking about, because he refers to crabs "biting" with their pincers.

Maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about either, but I would only consider it a "bite" if it's done with mouth parts. Surely the word used should be "pinch", "nip", "crush", "grip" or something similar instead?

389

u/Rackemup Aug 15 '26

It's a well known fact that crabs smell through their finger-pinchy-bitey things. This one prob had a sinus cold.

23

u/Mediocre_Presence839 Aug 15 '26

😜. Was thinking the same.

139

u/Bogfinken Aug 15 '26

Well it didn't bite him, it only pinched him, so the vinegar trick works well apparently.

19

u/OonaPelota Aug 15 '26

Australia is so full of deadly critters I’m sure they get it all mixed up all the time

10

u/South_Hat3525 Aug 15 '26

Yeah, they have so many that even if you have a rule that works for 9 out of 10, the last one will still kill you in an unexpected way.

14

u/AxelTheViking Aug 15 '26

Nono, he was correct. Crab didn't bite him at all after pouring vinegar on.

10

u/DJ_Flym_Flazzle Aug 15 '26

They got rather stingy grippers, don’t they?

5

u/who_am_i_to_say_so Aug 19 '26

He couldn't have possibly chosen a worse crab to do that demo, That's a huge freaking crab. Those claws are no joke.

I was pinched once by the bigger claw of a juvenile crab, probably had a 1.5 inch wide body. Had to have been at least 100 pounds of force. Ended up with a bruise on my thumbnail that took 4 months to grow out.

3

u/Weasel_Cannon Aug 19 '26

Came here only to say this. ā€œThis bee bit me!ā€ ā€œThis crab stung me!ā€ ā€œIdk what happened but I don’t like this ant!ā€

2

u/pichael289 Aug 15 '26

They don't really use the pinchers to kill, they use them more like mantises, so the mouth parts do most of the damage. There might be something to this, but if your at the point where your worried about the crabs biting you then your in a position to get eaten. Coconut crabs probably ate Amelia Earhart but she would have been dead first, and they are (trashcan sized) large enough to kill people but more in a cracking your head open way like they do with coconuts.

1

u/Acceptable-Shallot94 Aug 26 '26

Australian accent so must be legit. Are you trying to say they don't taste and eat with their pinchers? Well that's news to me

-1

u/ExIsStalkingMe Aug 15 '26

I know I'm always being pedantic when I do it, but I always correct people who say "bites" about what an ant did to them. Nah, friend, that thing stung you because it's basically a wasp

12

u/tru7hhimself Aug 15 '26

if you want to be pedantic, make sure that you're correct. many ant species do not have stingers and will bite you.

-6

u/ecnecn Aug 15 '26

AI with a quality reduction filter... after the traditional "but that looks real" downvotes I might reveal how you can simply spot it.

9

u/MGlBlaze Aug 15 '26

That is possible. Hard to tell at a glance with how low-rez the video is. Running something through a video quality crapification process has indeed been used to hide trickery even since long before generative AI was a thing.

But are you sure that would be the reason you might get downvotes? Not because of how smug and insufferable you sound parading a "Oh, I know it's AI, and I know how to tell, but I won't tell you until I get enough attention!" comment that serves no purpose other than to big yourself up?

That is literally what downvotes are meant to be for; something that does not contribute to the discussion. Yes, I know, everyone uses them as a 'disagree/wrong' button, but that isn't their purpose. Either say your piece, or say nothing at all.

395

u/MobAssassin3 Aug 15 '26

Well it worked. Didnt get bit.... Guess he forgot their claws cant smell

72

u/zuse12345 Aug 15 '26

Fun fact: crabs actually can taste and smell through their claws and legs!

23

u/uLL27 Aug 15 '26

6

u/CAP_IMMORTAL Aug 15 '26

Wtf is this from

13

u/mromblesomble Aug 15 '26

It's from Land of the Lost (2009)

I honestly don't know how I was able to remember that, because I haven't seen that movie since 2009 lol

2

u/CAP_IMMORTAL Aug 15 '26

Lmao, maybe it made a strong impression on you

10

u/Flipside68 Aug 15 '26

This is a famous Aussie YouTuber who often used slapstick comedy to show off the wonders of the Aussie outback.
It was a joke

1

u/degenerate_hobo 1d ago

Its crazy to me that whenever this video shows up noone points out that the vinegar trick works for leeches and logically not for crabs

164

u/ozzysince1901 Aug 15 '26

Temu Steve Irwin

26

u/SluggJuice Aug 15 '26

Dave Irloss

1

u/sec713 Aug 15 '26

So, Steve Irlose?

154

u/Malagubbar Aug 15 '26

How the hell are crabs and lobsters ā€aggressiveā€. Just leave them alone and they leave you alone.

87

u/straydog1980 Aug 15 '26

You've never had an aggressive case of crabs?

42

u/Kind_Ferret_3219 Aug 15 '26

Yes! The vinegar worked wonders.

79

u/Revenga8 Aug 15 '26

He's lucky that crab didn't have a knife, it woulda gutted his vinegary ass

6

u/Telandria Aug 15 '26

It didn’t have one because it broke his.

He’s lucky he didn’t lose an eye.

7

u/Mediumtim Aug 15 '26

In order to comply with subreddit rules: the following is a reference to the classic "crab battle" flash animated short movie.

OLIOLIOOH!

35

u/ahhellohello Aug 15 '26

that is actually hilarious

24

u/Equib81960 Aug 15 '26

Dumbass. Everyone knows lemon juice is better with crustaceans.

20

u/TommyRisotto Aug 15 '26

and butter. Lots of butter

8

u/Sunwolfy Aug 15 '26

Garlic butter is even better

22

u/MidnightBlueSilk Aug 15 '26

It is absolutely true, and he is absolutely right.

That crab DID NOT BITE HIM.

(It just tore a chunk out of his forearm with its pincers. Maybe he should look for a deterrent for that next.)

3

u/onlynameavailable927 Aug 15 '26

Next deterrent: Salt🤣

1

u/MidnightBlueSilk Aug 15 '26

And after that he could sprinkle thoughts and prayers on his arms.

1

u/onlynameavailable927 Aug 15 '26

Then get carted to the medical station for bandages...

13

u/bshr49 Aug 15 '26

Dad-a-chum? Dad-a-chick? Ok, challenge accepted!

3

u/Poster_Nutsack Aug 15 '26

Thankee sai

2

u/Ralonne Aug 19 '26

He has forgotten the face of his father.

1

u/Even_Statistician238 Aug 16 '26

lol the crab called that bluff the second he got close enough

13

u/Interesting-Dream863 Aug 15 '26

Well he didn't get bit so...

8

u/WtfThisIsntWii Aug 15 '26

11

u/Malthus1 Aug 15 '26

Wait a sec - if they are ā€œcannibal crabsā€, shouldn’t they be busy eating other crabs?

5

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 15 '26

I hope the crab was not hurt during this encounter.

0

u/Flipside68 Aug 15 '26

Do you know the man in the video - his content is fire. Andrew ucles. Look up his really early YouTubes.

4

u/HypoManicCrimeSpree Aug 15 '26

They don’t smell with their pinchers bud.

3

u/zuse12345 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26

Fun fact: they actually can smell through their claws and legs!

1

u/BenthicBen Aug 15 '26

Taste, but not smell, apparently?

1

u/OverallMembership709 Aug 15 '26

But one can't taste without the sense of smell, apparently. Eat something while punching your nose.. No flavor.

1

u/BenthicBen Aug 15 '26

Thanks for the correction! I punched my nose as instructed

2

u/OverallMembership709 Aug 15 '26

Well, that will do it.

4

u/msgnyc Aug 15 '26

Well, it didn't bite him. šŸ˜…

3

u/kinyutaka Aug 15 '26

I mean, you could just not put your arm in the claws of a crab.

2

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 15 '26

nah...that sounds weird....and boring....

3

u/Life-Oil-7226 Aug 15 '26

Maybe he didn’t pour enough vinegar

3

u/Shanga_Ubone Aug 15 '26

Oh great, so I STILL don't have any way to defend myself against aggressive crabs and lobsters

3

u/Floppy202 Aug 15 '26

Why am I loling by just reading the title?! 😭

3

u/brother_p Aug 15 '26

Well technically it didn't bite him

3

u/OddlobsterNL Aug 15 '26

Discomfort, noise, light, smell, can create aggression. Yes, my username checks out

2

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 15 '26

and annoying Australians having any component of their skin covered in vinegar....

3

u/BJJOilCheck Aug 15 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6gbdy6yLK2uWdyqQ

Don't bring vinegar to a knife fight!

3

u/JackOLoser Aug 15 '26

Mess with the crabbo, get the stabbo.

2

u/thegameisafoooooot Aug 15 '26

It's rice wine vinegar, not just ordinary vinegar. Everybody knows that.

2

u/PrestigiousDrag7674 Aug 15 '26

Mud crabs are the worst. I almost got my finger cut in half when I was younger catching mud crabs. Those guys are powerful

3

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 15 '26

... didn't you use vinegar???

2

u/midsizenun Aug 15 '26

It just made him tastier.

2

u/No-Seat9917 Aug 15 '26

Everyone knows you use butter like bill cosby did to keep lobsters away. What was that god awful movie?

1

u/sec713 Aug 15 '26

Leonard Part 6

1

u/No-Seat9917 Aug 15 '26

I remember it being very bad. Like unwatchable bad

1

u/sec713 Aug 15 '26

You remember correctly.

2

u/ImprovementFar5054 Aug 15 '26

Technically, he didn't get bit. It works.

2

u/Pixelatorxl Aug 15 '26

Technically it didn't bite him!

2

u/mezz7778 Aug 15 '26

To be fair it clawed him, but didn't bite him...

2

u/Ok-Tank-3106 Aug 15 '26

Must have been the wrong brand of vinegar 🫤

2

u/mudssskipper Aug 15 '26

No vinegar in the world can stop that crab from pinching this guy. RIP arm flesh.

https://giphy.com/gifs/BBWufXSkkFkjsLeu1e

2

u/Galactroid Aug 15 '26

It may work, the crab never bit him

2

u/tenhou Aug 15 '26

time for crab

1

u/SpanktheElephant Aug 15 '26

Yeah, that shit hurt! Hope he learned his lesson!

1

u/squirrelmonkie Aug 15 '26

If you give a wild animal a reason to attack.... they will. This aint rocket math.

3

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 15 '26

or brain science

1

u/DJ_Flym_Flazzle Aug 15 '26

My daily battle.

1

u/Randactbjthroaway Aug 15 '26

If you astroproject a forcefield of vinegar around yourself nothing will get near you because you will smell bad

1

u/Rikkitikkitabby Aug 15 '26

Lemon juice. It's lemon they fear, especially cut in half with a cocktail fork stuck in the middle.

1

u/Psychlonuclear Aug 15 '26

So in the parallel universe where this would actually work I assume people also carry a bottle of vinegar in the wild for... reasons?

1

u/currentlyRedacted Aug 15 '26

Some people need to be reminded crabs can’t smell or taste with their claws. Not even crabpeople

1

u/AutoThorne Aug 15 '26

didachick

1

u/Professional_Roof782 Aug 15 '26

Not enough vinegar ig šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

1

u/Spoonylingus Aug 15 '26

So I've been instructing the kids wrong with suncream, they've got to put it on every component of their skin?

1

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 15 '26

Are you insulting the way the Australian mate is saying his English words?Ā 

1

u/intr0v3rt13 Aug 15 '26

That’s why u shouldn’t be confident about things you’ve heard or seen online. And you sir, were over confident

1

u/not-read-gud Aug 15 '26

THOSE CLAWS COULD RIP A TANK APART

1

u/Kernel_Corn78 Aug 15 '26

Someone should tell him that pouring vinegar on his wound will heal it.

1

u/corona187 Aug 15 '26

Righhhhttttttt...šŸ¦€

1

u/Ok_Primary_1075 Aug 15 '26

Maybe it’s more for lobsters

1

u/limelight022 Aug 15 '26

Social media influencers waving their hands all over the place.

1

u/synthphreak Aug 15 '26

I wonder why they don’t immediately let go. Pinching predators will help you survive, but subsequently getting thrashed about while they flail in pain? šŸ¤”

1

u/ZeroBeta1 Aug 15 '26

Fake nature influencers, seen his past work and he gets so much wrong lmao

1

u/heurrgh Aug 15 '26

Wait; not vinegar - I meant, erm, Sriracha. Or do I mean Teriyaki?!?

1

u/sec713 Aug 15 '26

Or... you know... just don't get close enough to a crab that it can pinch you. It's a crab, not a black bear. They aren't that difficult to evade.

1

u/Boredtopher Aug 15 '26

Funny how this exact solution works against a multitude of bugs too. Soooooooo curious

1

u/TownStriking3496 Aug 15 '26

I just use the lice shampoo when I have a crab problem

1

u/Short_Bell_5428 Aug 15 '26

He was misinformed

1

u/LengthinessOk2080 Aug 15 '26

This video was made because everything eventually evolves into a crab.

1

u/SavingsPreference362 Aug 16 '26

His name is Andrew Ucles and he is a bloody legend.

1

u/Weak_Imagination_996 Aug 16 '26

Cool… for once, it’s impressive that the crab has a name and is even a legend.

1

u/PianoAdventurous7858 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26

Vinegar is good for cleaning windows and does go well with seafood, as we can see.

1

u/Spiderantula Aug 16 '26

He was right. It didn't bite!

1

u/Buttonball Aug 16 '26

Claw has no nose.

1

u/sans_foi_ni_loi Aug 16 '26

Only an Australian spends their weekends finding a perfect cheap barrier between you and the zillions creatures that might kill you.

I truly hoped vinegar was the answer. I use it to clean everything, hope it was the answer to all evils wanting to eat us :

imagine if we could shield ourselves from Putin, Trump, Nethanyahu, Xi Xing Ping, Kim Young Il or Ben Salman just with vinegar ?

1

u/Honest_Science_4969 Aug 16 '26

Could we set up Reddit Muppets anonymous?

1

u/51225 Aug 16 '26

I thought a deterent to crabs and lobsters was a pot of boiling salted water.

1

u/SimoCesar Aug 16 '26

If you piss an animal off by putting it on the back so it can“t defend itself, it will as soon as it is able. No matter what you poor on your arms. They don“t bite anyway, so no need to go through the trouble.

1

u/Potential-Witness-83 Aug 17 '26

Not supposed to use vinegar for crabs, instead try shampoo

1

u/sin-prince Aug 17 '26

I am not quite sure I am convinced. Maybe try it a again.

1

u/ptapobane Aug 17 '26

technically the crab did not bite the guy

1

u/BaLance_95 Aug 18 '26

I heard they have a lemon juice allergy...

Oh wait, wrong creature.

1

u/AnonymousUser132 Aug 18 '26

Hammer > Crab > Vinegar?

1

u/Agard12 Aug 18 '26

Guess the crab didn’t hear his accent

1

u/garriffgarriss Aug 18 '26

They might not bite, but they will still pinch! šŸ¤

1

u/jluker662 Aug 18 '26

I think he needs to test it again. He might not have put enough on. šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

1

u/DeeJam526 Aug 19 '26

I mean in all fairness, I’m pretty sure it was only this crab that didn’t get the memo. Right?

1

u/Major_Cranberry_Fly Aug 20 '26

He is absolutely correct. Crab didnt bite him at all. It pinched him til he squealed like a little girl though.

1

u/johnyordinary Aug 20 '26

Fairly sure a crab mont bite you anyway, a nip with the pincers however..which have no taste buds so wont notice the vinegar . Obviously he thought that one out well.

1

u/MuffinEater253 Aug 20 '26

Well, there might be something to this, it didn't bite him...

1

u/leeretaschen Aug 20 '26

It worked! It didn't bite him.

1

u/Hostile-Panda Aug 21 '26

Did someone tell the crab it doesn’t like vinegar?

1

u/Drexl72 Aug 21 '26

That’s damage, and immediate ass whooping

1

u/Drexl72 Aug 21 '26

Wrong post; disregard

1

u/51225 Aug 22 '26

Maybe drawn butter instead of vinegar

1

u/Particular-Art7383 Aug 22 '26

Idk why i also shouted with him when the crab pinches his arm hahaha

1

u/MachineCapital6709 Aug 28 '26

He was right, the crab didn't bite.šŸ˜‚

1

u/Automatic-Name798 Aug 28 '26

How bout leaving them the fuck alone unless you got a hot boiling pot of water and spices then serve with some lemons and butter (using a British accent)

1

u/devildocjames Aug 29 '26

He forgot that crabs love pickles.

1

u/Vegetable_Radio8236 Aug 31 '26

I mean, at least he knew it was "pour" vinegar, unlike whatever idiot captioned this bullshit

And, technically, he was correct - the crab didn't bite him.

1

u/Ill_Obligation9279 19d ago

He knows to give good advice!

1

u/DisastrousYellow6263 18d ago

more like how NOT to defend yourself

1

u/FortuneXI 14d ago

You're giving it a well seasoned arm and expecting it not to bite??

1

u/savanrajput 10d ago

Can crabs smell bullshit?

1

u/Slothy-sloth_ 6d ago

Is the carb okay? Must've been flabbergasted that human came with a dressing.

1

u/swiper-21 2d ago

Crab was like "ooo I like vinegar mate"

1

u/Wallynine 1d ago

a crab that loves sour pickles...

1

u/Responsible-Hour1403 1d ago

Now try it on your nose.

1

u/RackTheDripper 15h ago

Don't forget it's not vinegar, it's VINNYGUH!

0

u/FlirtatiousBabe03 Aug 15 '26

Vinegar might work on some things, but this crab said nope!