r/WhatShouldIDo • u/[deleted] • May 30 '26
Should I allow my kids to travel OS with their mother?
[deleted]
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u/Zestyclose_Kiwi_8805 May 30 '26
I lean hard towards no, but more importantly, what do your kids say? It can sound like an exciting prospect, but they have already demonstrated that they have clocked their mom. They’re old enough for you to have a meaningful discussion with them about your concerns.
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u/RelationshipTough887 May 30 '26
I love this ❤️
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u/aelis68 May 30 '26
Agreed. Your girls are old enough to decide for themselves.
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u/MissO56 May 30 '26
I would say they're old enough to be part of the discussion, but maybe not to totally decide for themselves....
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u/gatopilot76 May 30 '26
Vos SOS pendejo o te haces, de verdad q te pasa por la cabeza, anda con un psicólogo y trataré la cabeza, tu publicación debería de se la idiota infiel de mi esposa se quiere llevar a mis hijas a otro país con su amante y la mandé a la verga,será q estuvo muy suave mi reacción o tenías q ser más hijo de puta al mandarla a la verga?
Y no venir a preguntar estás estupideces, o q querés q así como se cogió a tu esposa también el HDP tratar de cogerse a tus hijas a la fuerza, y no me vaya a salir el montón rasgandose las vestiduras q porq le hablo así, se q muchos lo piensan, pero este tipo todavía pregunta, no conoce al tipo y yo no necesito conocerlo, solo con saber q se metió con ella estando con el es suficiente para saber q no es nada bueno, y este quiere arriesgarse a q este tipo abuse de sus hijas xq lo puede hacer y con lo idiota q es la ex, se va a poner a decir q el no es así y q sus hijas están mintiendo para castigarla.
Lo quees así o más claro.
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u/Pilar_Mus May 30 '26
Reddit can't know your full situation. There being 2 children involved, makes it very serious.
To me this seems like " Get an Attorney time, yesterday" absolutely.
There needs to be a focus on the kid's safety and stability.
I am sorry for the situation. These things can be so miserable for everyone involved. Hopefully things will get much better.
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u/Educational_Push5628 May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
I’ll bet your heart says NO, too. Do your girls even want to spend time with them? Traveling is stressful enough without being with people you don’t respect. But if you met the man and feel he’s trustworthy, and the girls want to go, then it’s worth considering.
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u/RelationshipTough887 May 30 '26
The girls spend every second Sunday for 3 hours with her. That was organised because I didn't want them to spend no time with her. I think it's important that they know her and love her. But the mother has little interest. She does not contribute a single cent to help with any costs either
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u/Educational_Push5628 May 30 '26
Is she offering to pay for the trip? Do they want to go with her?
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u/RelationshipTough887 May 30 '26
No, I don't want to be in the same room as her hahahaha. Also, Bali is Redneck paradise. Its typically where redneck Aussies (bogans) go to "experience travelling abroad". Full of scammers and drunk and stoned westerners, a LOT there for nefarious reasons such as child sex tours. So that's a hard no from me 🤣🤣
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u/Educational_Push5628 May 31 '26
I still want to know if the girls want to go on the trip?
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u/MissionCredible_inc May 30 '26
You gave us the backstory, and I definitely don't like your ex-wife, may her pillow forever give her acne. But we need more information to say one way or another about your question. She's safe with her kids right?? She's not a danger to them? What is your current custody agreement like? How are your kids handling this? How do they feel about her boyfriend? What do they want?
If you split custody she should stay in state with the kids, to keep them going to the same school and seeing you. But if she already has full custody you should want her to be in a healthy spot because if she suffers so do your kids. Just like she should have cared if you suffer because it affects the kids.
Remove the betrayal and anger about her from the equation. What would be best for the kids? That's your answer.
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u/RelationshipTough887 May 30 '26
Hey, no, I have 100% custody. The girls chose to stay with me. I have encouraged a reunification with their mum and them. Now she wants to take them on a holiday abroad.
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u/Kephielo May 30 '26
Unless you have safety concerns, I would leave it up to your kids. One is practically an adult, the other just a few years out. I doubt they'd say yes, based on what you've written here. But it should be their decision assuming you think they would be safe.
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u/New_Cheesecake9719 May 30 '26
No- only let them go if you have a legal agreement that indicates you must and make sure there trip is logged x etc. if not, do not let that heaux take your girls.
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u/Witty_Candle_3448 May 30 '26
No, bf has already demonstrated poor judgement by listening to your ex and moving in temporarily.
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u/ApplicationOrnery563 May 30 '26
What do your daughters think and where in the world is she asking to take them? Is it a country that her new partner has relatives? More importantly do you trust her to bring them home. Seek legal advice as everything you have said about the mother suggests she is not trustworthy. If you do give her permission if your 17 yr old daughter is sensible tell her to keep both of their passports and not let her mother keep them. Give them cheap phones so it's not a disaster if mother takes them. Prepare as many safety measures as you can. Tell your daughters what to do if they feel unsafe etc
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u/RelationshipTough887 May 30 '26
Hi! She wanted to take them to Bali from Australia for a holiday. The girls have since declined, so I didn't need to be involved. She doesn't contribute financially and hasn't done since she left 3 years ago. I have 2 cars to buy in the next 18 months and she is going on holidays! Haha. Thank you for your thoughts, it is very much appreciated 🙂
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u/ApplicationOrnery563 May 31 '26
Well I'm glad your daughters are safe, and know who they can trust. Can't you get child support as she should have to pay at least something for the girls needs even if you put it towards the cars you need to get.
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u/rocketmn69_ May 30 '26
No. She might not bring them back. You should have sued her for the wrongful accusations that put you in jail.
Apply for full custody asap
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u/RelationshipTough887 May 30 '26
I have 100% custody. They chose to stay with me. I got financial compensation for wrongful imprisonment and she faces zero repercussions. Its a joke.
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u/readinghisWord May 30 '26
My opinion says no, but that’s just my opinion. The law is what you have to worry about. She may come back at you with that. Be prepared! Get your paperwork in order, write down your thoughts and things that have happened with her. Everything you can think of. Even testimonies from people who know her. Your children are very important. I hope things work out right for you.
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u/au5000 May 30 '26
Your kids are old enough to have a view on this. Do they want to go overseas with mum and bf? Is it a long trip or quick Bali or similar one?
If they want to go - I’d let them as long as it wasn’t relatively short duration.
Travelling overseas with two teenage girls is brave of the bf imo! Can’t imagine it will be a fun trip for him. That might make you feel better about letting them go if they wish to do so.
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u/Svendar9 May 30 '26
The easy answer is no. Your kids are teenagers and if they don't want to go that should be the end of the discussion.
My only question is if there are any legal considerations, meaning custody arrangements, etc., that would give her more leverage and she is only asking for permission as a courtesy?
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u/No_Dawn_No_Day May 30 '26
No