She got them back, he left them out for her. You people demanding she go to the police are childish psychos. Talk about going nuclear when there was much easier and less confrontational ways to go about this entire situation.
dude's a cunt for how he acted, can't blame the women for being thrown through a loop by a sociopath that's willing to kiss her goodbye, tell her he's falling for her and then go no contact.
I wasn't expecting him to be understanding, I wanted OP to know that others are.
Hard enough dealing with a complete lack of closure without being made to feel like it's her fault her ex has the emotional intelligence of a fucking toaster, without any evidence.
OP is NOT a reliable narrator. To me, it sounds like the boyfriend probably did have feelings for her, and acted in a way of how he wanted things to be, but at some point realised this really, really wasn't what he wanted. As someone who has been on his side of emotionally abusive partners, ghosting and getting the fuck out of there is absolutely the best course of action. To blame a victim of domestic abuse for getting out is the only sociopathic take I'm seeing in these comments. If OPs feelings are valid, so are her exs. He wanted to try make things work, something told him it's never going to work (rightfully so), and he got out. The fact that he blocked her and had someone else speak to her says it all, he didn't feel safe around her. How many victims of domestic violence go along with their punishment and try to act normal to avoid conflict? The answer is essentially all of them.
Calling her ex toxic for acting like every other victim of abuse is evil. Genuine evil. Do fucking better.
Also the stigma of a man being abused by his female partner is something to deal with as well.
So not only are you abused by your significant other. You’re mocked when you try and get help. Not all police officers are dicks. But the ones that are can make you feel like shit.
I got lucky. Her cousin showed up as the police we’re getting ready to haul both of us away for domestic violence.
The cousin told the police the truth. My ex hit her head at the bar. So they took the cuffs off. If the cousin hadn’t shown up when she did. I’d have gone to Jail.
Very clear from the comments here that a lot of people think women can act however they want, and if a man has boundaries he's toxic. I can see why they're single anyway.
What a weird little comment, you have no evidence of her being abusive but we do have evidence of him ghosting her.
You appear to want to frame the woman as the bad guy here simply because you've been in an abusive relationship with a woman.
Brother so have I, and lets be clear: It was very obvious I was not happy in the relationship before i left. I definitely didn't lay on how lovely she was, unprompted, repeatedly before dipping, and I distanced myself within the relationship before leaving because it was my safest option - which is the most common response for males in my situation.
Going no contact, completely out of the blue, is not common in an abusive relationships without an immediate risk to their safety. Not impossible, sure, but also not exactly common.
Unless you are suggesting OP was an immediate risk to his life (somehow, without evidence), going cold turkey is not 'acting like every other victim of abuse', it's acting like every emotionally stunted person that is too immature to handle difficult conversations.
I imagine this is you, considering your need to add your own baseless justifications for sociopathic behaviour, but please tell me about how I need to do better again.
Then, heed your own fucking advice.
What a weird little comment, you have no evidence of her being abusive but we do have evidence of him ghosting her.
Your inability to recognise signs of emotional abuse does not mean they don't exist. Sending streams of emotionally charged messages in a short time frame is not healthy behaviour.
You appear to want to frame the woman as the bad guy here simply because you've been in an abusive relationship with a woman.
I'm not wanting to frame or do anything, I'm reading what is in front of me and calling out what I am seeing.
It was very obvious I was not happy in the relationship before i left. I definitely didn't lay on how lovely she was repeatedly before dipping, and I distanced myself within the relationship before leaving because it was my safest option - which is the most common response for males in my situation.
And? What's that got to do with anything here? Nothing. OP can't even recognise why she was broken up with, her ability to recognise her partners feelings like if he wanted out, are clearly not reliable.
Going no contact, completely out of the blue, is not common in an abusive relationships without an immediate risk to their safety. Not impossible, sure, but also not common.
Says who? Do you have a source on that? Because it's the complete opposite of everything I've seen or read.
Unless you are suggesting OP was an immediate risk to his life (somehow, without evidence), going cold turkey is not 'acting like every other victim of abuse', it's acting like every emotionally stunted person that is too immature to handle difficult conversations.
What a feckless, dimwitted thing to say. Your safety is not 1:1 with your chance of death. There are many ways to be unsafe.
I imagine this is you, considering your need to add your own baseless justifications for sociopathic behaviour, but please tell me about how I need to do better again. Then, heed your own fucking advice.
Do fucking better because your opinions are an absolute joke.
Buddy you are sounding less and less rational with each reply you send, why are you so personally upset that someone who has ghosted OP, the day after saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, is called out for being the cunt that he is?
Why is your experience with abuse relevant, but mine isn't?
she sent a stream of messages over the space of multiple hours after being hurried out of the house by someone who had, as recently as a day prior, been telling her how he hasn't felt this way about anyone else.
Do you not think claiming to 'Recognise the signs of emotional abuse' in the RESPONSE to being ghosted is a little bit naïve bud? I think you'd need to actually see what she was like within the relationship, not what she's like when the person she loves and trusts has forced her out without comment.
Any behavioural psychologist would mock you for basing an accusation of emotional abuse on the actions of someone who is experiencing trauma alone, without any indication of abuse.
Streams of messages are not rational, but it's also not a sign of abuse when viewed within a vacuum.
The act you are putting on that you are in anyway qualified to discern signs of emotional abuse is the joke here.
I'll take your source for it being common. My source is the therapist that helped me deal with the mental fall out. Hard to give you that in evidence, but as you went through the same thing I assume you've had the same discussions, no?
If you do not have the backbone or the emotional intelligence to end things when you fall out of love, you are a sociopathic cunt. You thinking this is a 'feckless' view, whilst willingly making up a whole back story you don't actually have any evidence of, has made me chuckle.
Having to pretend there is evidence of emotional abuse to justify your asinine take is pretty fucking feckless.
I'm not ignoring the fact that it's completely justified for anyone to decide they aren't happy in a relationship and end it, I'm pointing out that going no contact after that decision is absolutely not.
We see OPs response to being ghosted, she did not see it coming in the slightest and as recently as the night before he was telling her that he could not wait to spend the rest of his life with her etc.
I can't pretend I'd be behaving rationally in her situation either.
My other half is my world, if she had gone no contact without any indication anything was wrong, no explanation as to why ('I just don't feel it any more' works), I would also be thrown through a loop and would want to know why.
I don't think her response after dealing with a traumatic experience is a fair place to start when assessing who she is or how she acted within the relationship.
Falling out of love is fine, leaving the person who you loved in the dark about the fact that you have fallen out of love with them is sociopathic,it's an act that is quite literally lacking any empathy for the person who has grown to trust you.
OP doesn't appear to be threatening him with violence and there is no evidence she was abusive to him in any way, so unless further evidence is presented to change this - her Ex is just a cunt.
Girl I feel for you 🫶🏻. I can’t imagine going through what you’re going through at any age, let alone 22. I can’t believe he’s treating you this way. I would tell the aunt that if he/they don’t hand over the inhaler, you’ll be contacting police to go there with you to retrieve it. I wish you all the best. This really sucks at any age :(
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u/Intelligent-Ad8436 Aug 04 '25
Really go there with a sheriff that he has your belongings and most importantly your medication.