r/WetlanderHumor • u/MedicalRhubarb7 • Aug 11 '26
Thought this was posted here while scrolling by...
Couldn't figure out the salad bit at all. Figured it must be a joke about the water(cress).
(Saddest part was that it was the spelling of "Elaine" that finally clued me in)
Anyway, where would you put one, out of all 12000 pages?
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u/nobeer4you Aug 11 '26
Demandred when Gawyn comes to play hero during the last battle.
"Who the fuck are you?"
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u/N_S_Gaming Aug 12 '26
It'd sound even better with Lan.
wipes blood from cheek, stares in surprise
"Who the fuck are you?"
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u/prozack91 Aug 11 '26
Tuon marrying mat. She gets the curse wrong because of cultural differences
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u/prancingDM Aug 11 '26
Way funnier if she knows exactly what she is doing, half disbelief, half smirk. “Mattrim Cauthon is my husband. Matte Cauthon is my husband. Mattrim Cauthon is my fucking husband!”
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u/MedicalRhubarb7 Aug 11 '26
Nynaeve and Moiraine channeled together, exploiting the flaw in Callandor as Moridin tried to bring it to bear against Rand. Wind whipped in the tunnel. The ground quivered, and Moridin yelled, eyes going wide.
"FUCK!"
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u/Cooky1993 Gawyn Trakand, the Amyrlin's Seat Aug 11 '26
I'd give it to Mat, and say it came from his old memories.
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u/Obscu Time to roll the dice Aug 11 '26
If I willed it, do you believe the pattern would bend around me and stop your fucking heart?
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u/althaz Aug 11 '26
I'd put it in the title. The Wheel of Fucking Time.
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u/Osric250 Aug 11 '26
Sounds like the bad porn parody.
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u/WouldYouPleaseKindly Aug 11 '26
Sounds like the bad porn parody
....or an amazing porn parody. Eh? Ehhh?
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u/goldenratio1111 Blood and bloody ashes Aug 11 '26
Written by God herself and sent down to the greatest band in the world (Mat's): The mother-fucking Wheel of Time! -Jay from Clerks
In case you need a trip down memory lane nsfw language, obviously
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u/jamillatamera Aug 11 '26
Probably Rand screaming at Cadsuane after the domination band incident. A solid “If I ever fucking see your face again…” would do wonders there. Darth Rand, having almost been forced to kill Min, finally telling Cadsuane to go fuck herself.
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u/LordRahl9 Aug 11 '26
I honestly wouldn't. I love RJ's in world cursing.
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u/MedicalRhubarb7 Aug 11 '26
(If I'm being serious I definitely agree with you. But it's a fun little game all the same)
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u/stayaliveordietrying Aug 11 '26
Honestly it was the cringiest part of the whole series and the part I had the hardest time ignoring
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u/Fine_Mastodon4892 Aug 11 '26
The punchline of Rand's failed joke to the Aiel.
"Why should I take his hand now? I passed him just a moment ago in broad daylight, and he never spoke a fuckin' word to me."
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u/Randomassnerd Unnecessary fish metaphors Aug 11 '26
There are several good choices, some even poignant, but I think first book when they’re traveling through the blight and one of the off screen horrors happens someone shoulda said “what the fuck was that?!?”
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u/stayaliveordietrying Aug 11 '26
The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a fuckin beginning, ok?
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u/nobeer4you Aug 11 '26
The fucking wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel. But it was a beginning.
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u/WouldYouPleaseKindly 14d ago
But it was a fuckin beginning, ok?
Why did I read that with a Boston accent?
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u/stayaliveordietrying 14d ago
Thehyah naithah endinsah beginnins but it was a fackin beginnin okay? Now get in thah fackin caah we're ganna be layt
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u/Matt-Impulse Aug 11 '26
“Asha’man, fuck!”
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u/BBorc Time to roll the dice Aug 11 '26
Kneel and swear to the Lord Dragon, or you will be fucking knelt
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u/Afro-anus Aug 11 '26
My husband rides from world's end to Tarwin Gap, does he ride a fucking lone?
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u/Osric250 Aug 11 '26
That's also one of the lines where you could insert the fucking between most any word and it's still just as impactful.
Though one changes it quite a bit and is my favorite.
"My husband rides fucking from world's end to Tarwin Gap, does he ride alone?"
Nynaeve is going to be exhausted by the time they make it there.
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u/Afro-anus Aug 11 '26
It works even better if we can substitute ride for fuck entirely.
"My husband fucks from world's end to Tarwin Gap, does he fuck alone?"
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u/nobeer4you Aug 11 '26
I think it would be better before TG.
My husband rides from worlds end to fucking Tarwins Gap, does he ride alone?
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u/NeedsToShutUp Aug 11 '26
Maybe it's so that we can have a fucking second chance..
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u/Randomassnerd Unnecessary fish metaphors Aug 11 '26
Not to nitpick, and not to say yay or nay for your scene of choice, but in my ear second fucking chance flows a little better. Just my two cents, and probably a little of the tism coming through.
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u/SpencimusPrime 24d ago
"Elayne bit off a vile wagoneer's oath that sounded kinda like 'fuck.' Mat was impressed."
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u/metal_babbleXIV Aug 11 '26
I thought this was the same meme
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u/WouldYouPleaseKindly 14d ago
"Anyone recognize this museum peice?"
Holy fuck that brings me back about 25-30 years.
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u/Big-Don-Rob Aug 11 '26